by Alison Mello
Five minutes later, I pull up at my local Starbucks. I take a quick look at my makeup in the mirror and quickly touch up my lipstick.
Walking through the double doors, I notice Sawyer straight away. He’s wearing a light blue button down shirt, open at the collar, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, giving me a peek at his ink. He looks my way and smiles. My stomach flips and makes me feel like a giddy teenager. I order my coffee and head to the booth he’s sat in. Thankfully he didn’t choose one right by the window, it’s definitely too hot for that today.
“Hey,” he greets me as he stands.
He doesn’t sit until I do, which I find gentlemanly and sweet.
“Hey Sawyer,” I reply as my insides squirm.
I notice he’s wearing navy blue trousers and wonder how he copes in them in this heat. That leads me to wonder what he looks like in shorts, and if his legs are as firm and muscular as they look. He takes in my appearance and smiles. He has beautiful white teeth, a total Hollywood smile. His brown hair is short but still long enough to run your fingers through, which he does as he notices me staring. I look away and feel the blush creep up my neck at being caught looking at him so intensely.
“So, Kara, tell me about yourself.”
I don’t know what to tell him or where to start, so I tell him about my hobbies and my plans to open my own bookstore. The plans are coming along nicely and I should be able to start setting up shop any time now.
“Wow,” is his only reply for a moment. He looks at me. I detect interest and maybe a touch of shock in his eyes. Maybe he didn’t expect me to be a small business owner.
“I think that’s really great, Kara, I honestly do.”
“What about you, Sawyer? What do you do?”
“I’ll tell you once I’ve gone and got us a refill,” he responds, winking at me.
He walks to the counter, so I take a moment to check out his backside. The phrase ‘buns of steel’ springs to mind and I’m sure I look most unladylike, sitting here drooling over his pert backside the way Homer Simpson does over a doughnut. I’m staring so much that when a slightly noticeable bulge comes into view—though not in a vulgar ‘he’s hard’ way—I realise I have been looking longer than I intended.
“I’m a cop,” he says as he puts my mug in front of me.
He smiles at me, no doubt detecting a hint of delight in my eyes. I do love a man in uniform. If he noticed I was staring when he turned round, he’s gentleman enough not to say.
“Really?” I ask as I set my mug on the table.
“Really. I guess it was in my blood. My grandfather was a cop, so was my dad until he retired. My brothers didn’t want to go down the same route, but I did.”
“Can I ask what makes you want to follow in their footsteps?”
“I guess I always wanted a job where I could help people, you know? And I heard all their stories as I was growing up. Yes, it can be a dangerous job, but it’s rewarding too.”
I’m impressed. I wouldn’t have guessed that was his job at all just by looking at him. I bet he looks good in uniform. He must have women falling at his feet. My mind temporarily wanders to thoughts of him with a pair of handcuffs.
“What made you want to open a bookstore?” he asks with what sounds like genuine interest. He seems like he actually wants to get to know me, which is good. I’ve dated a whole string of losers that think my dreams are too far beyond my reach and never encouraged me to follow my passion.
“I work in a small one in town at the moment. I have always been a bookworm from the day I learned to read. I read all sorts of things from biographies to fiction. Sci-fi, paranormal, romance novels…I just love to get lost in other people’s stories. So it made sense to work in a bookstore, but then that wasn’t enough for me, so I went back to higher education so I could get a business degree. I had an inheritance left to me, and with that as capital, I went to the bank to see if they could help me with a business loan. They did, and now my dream is that much closer to coming true.”
“That’s so cool. I think you have to follow your dreams in life. There’s no point being stuck in a job you don’t enjoy because you’ll never get any job satisfaction and that’s no way to live.”
He flashes me his Hollywood smile and I notice a dimple I didn’t see before. He really is handsome and that dimple makes him look even more gorgeous.
“You’re right, it’s no way to live. I have a fire, a passion for life and for pursuing what I really want to do.”
“Well, here’s to that.” He raises his latte mug and clinks it to mine.
We talk for another couple of hours before I realise the time and remember that I have to get going to the site of my store. The builders are finished with the demolition of some of the walls I asked them to knock down, they’ve also put new walls in to divide the space how I envision it. They’ve ripped out all of the old seats from when The Picture House was a cinema, got rid of all the old screens, and now I have to get there to see how it’s all coming together.
Sawyer and I talk of meeting up for a second date when we have a little more time. I’m not sure how to feel about dating him. He seems trustworthy and kind, handsome and sophisticated; all the things I look for in a man. He has a dry sense of humour and impeccable manners. What’s not to like? I just don’t know how to feel, considering I’ve been in love with Reid Marks ever since I first met him. But Reid moved out of town when he and Zoey called the wedding off, and even if he moved back, I couldn’t date my best friend’s ex, so onwards and upwards is the only way to go. Why is it then that I feel like dating Sawyer would be some kind of betrayal?
Chapter Eight
Reid
Zoey and I finally talked and cleared the air. She said she wished me well in the future and was sorry it hadn’t worked out between us. It had been a mutual decision to call off the wedding, we both knew we didn’t really love each other, and a relationship without love just isn’t worth having. I still feel bad about things, specifically because she and my parents had put so much money into everything and wouldn’t get some of that money back. I’ve been busting my ass and taken a second job so I can pay them back at least some of what they are out of pocket. We sat down with our parents and told them why we were calling things off, and though they were upset that it wasn’t going to work out, they agreed with us that it was probably for the best. It was our parents who set us up in the first place. At first I thought Zoey was kind, funny, smart and attractive; all things I looked for in a woman. But after a little time, I realised we didn’t have that chemistry. The sex was good, she was an amazing person, I just didn’t feel that fluttering of butterflies or that spark of electricity when she touched me, whereas every time I so much as looked at Kara, she made the hairs stand on the back of my neck. She was wicked-smart, gorgeous, funny, a little self-deprecating, and I couldn’t help the feelings she stirred in me. She was a woman with desire, passion, a real go-getter. I always knew she’d go far in life. I knew she didn’t feel the same about me, but that didn’t mean I could go through with marrying Zoey, not when I couldn’t give her my heart. My heart had already been won over and held captive by Kara. But I had to move on with my life, so I put Zoey and Kara behind me and tried to move on. Now here I am, back in town, and still as much under Kara’s spell as the day I left.
I know it’s not okay to date your ex-fiancée’s best friend, but she’s under my skin, burrowed into my heart, and I can’t do anything, don’t want to do anything about it. I just have to find a way to make her see me the way I see her. I need a plan. Jase and Liam have been trying to get me to date other women and get over this ‘obsession,’ as they call it. But how can I do anything like that when my heart isn’t in it? It’s not right to string someone along, make them think there could be a future with me. So I haven’t been dating, I’ve been living with Jase and sulking. Now he and Liam have brought me out to see some places for rent or sale so I can get out from under their feet. They may well love me, but I�
�m cramping their style, and to be honest, I can’t put up with their sex noises for one night longer than I have to. I wouldn’t mind, but Jase is my brother. Who wants to hear their brother going at it hammer and tongs with his boyfriend? I have to plug in my earbuds and turn up my iPod every time.
The house we’ve just pulled up in front of is gorgeous. It’s detached, so I don’t have to worry about having paper-thin walls and hearing the neighbours’ sex noises. I think I suffer from misophonia, because I really can’t stand the noise people make. Or maybe it’s just jealousy because I’m not getting any myself. Either way, this house being detached from my neighbours is a good start.
We all jump out of Liam’s car and head up to the front door, where the estate agent is stood. She greets us all with a warm smile, and I see the way she looks at Liam. He’s a good looking guy, so I don’t blame her, but she’s barking up the wrong tree there.
“Which of you fine gentlemen is Mr. Marks?”
“I am.”
I hold my hand out for her to shake, which she does before turning and unlocking the door.
“Right this way, Mr. Marks.”
The three of us follow her into the hallway. It’s open and airy. I like that it’s not cramped and lacking natural light. I look up and see the high ceilings where there’s a beautiful chandelier.
“You said openness and natural light was a must, Mr. Marks,” she comments as she leads us into the lounge.
“I did, and please, call me Reid.”
I look around the lounge. There’s a large bay window that lets in plenty of daylight. The room itself is large enough, but not overly so. I don’t want somewhere that feels close and cramped, but I don’t want anywhere that feels too big for me to rattle around alone in.
The estate agent points out some features of the room which I take a quick glance at, but I knew that it came with some original fixtures and fittings such as the cornicing and the ceiling rose.
“If you’d like to follow me, I’ll show you to the open-plan kitchen-diner.”
We all followed her and looked around the property. It was just what I wanted. Large but not too grand-scale. Open, light, airy, and most of all, it felt homely. The boys agreed that it seemed like a really good prospect, so I made an offer straight away. We drove to the estate agent’s to complete the paperwork, then made our way to Starbucks for a much needed caffeine fix.
“So, bro, how does it feel to be a homeowner?” Jase asked.
“I’m not, not quite yet. I still have to transfer the money.”
“Well, you know Mom and Dad set up a trust fund for you when you were younger and you haven’t touched it, so now is as good a time as any, don’t you think?!”
“You just want your house back to yourself,” I said, nudging him in the ribs.
“We do, but you don’t have to move out right this second. It’s a bloody good house with a really good price though,” Liam chimed in.
We talked a little longer about what we all liked best about the house. The boys liked that it was quaint but also contemporary. It had a great kitchen that was made even more perfect by the range cooker and the modern appliances. They certainly weren’t ‘original’ features of the house, but they brought it a bit more up to date without feeling too at odds with the rest of the house. There was also an orangery around the back and that had tipped it over into being the best property we had seen. There was space and light, comfort, and with a little redecoration to my taste, it would be the perfect home for me and maybe one day a family of my own.
***
The boys and I decided to go out for a meal to celebrate, so here we are in the Lakeside Lounge. They serve the best food in town here and I always love their steak. We all have bottles of Budweiser in hand and are waiting for our meal to be served. The waitress smiles a flirty smile my way and I take a good look at her. She’s cute as a button; red hair, blue eyes, long legs that look like they go on for miles. A little younger than me, maybe, but age is just a number. I smile what I hope is my best smile at her. Still feeling on high from buying my first home, I feel like tonight could be a good night. I could take her home with me and celebrate…but I don’t have a house yet and the boys won’t exactly want to hear her screams. I decide that I’ll come back another time and see if she’s around.
After our meal, the waitress hands me the bill and I see her name and number scribbled at the bottom. She winks at me and I pocket the slip of paper. Molly gives me a toothy grin and I feel my dick twitch. It’s been a while since I’ve had sex. It hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind, if I’m honest.
Jase calls a taxi and we wait outside the restaurant so I can have a smoke. The cool night air clings to my skin as we stand under the awning of the smoking shelter and I look up to see the full moon shining brightly, as if it reflects my mood.
Once we’re home, the boys set up the X-Box to play Deus Ex. I grab three bottles of Bud from the fridge and plonk my arse down on the one couch while the boys take up all the room on the other. For once, Liam is game for playing with us instead of reading or sitting on his laptop. I don’t know what he does on that thing, but he sure types a lot, and he closes the laptop if I pass by. I almost want to ask him about it, but I respect his privacy. We’re all entitled to our secrets.
“So, you gonna call that waitress?” Jase asks as he pops the top off his bottle.
“How did you…”
“I’m gay, not blind, dude,” he answers.
“Perception isn’t a straight thing, Reid. We all have eyes, and we both saw the way she looked at you,” Liam chimed in as he clinked his bottle with Jase’s.
“I wasn’t saying it’s a gay or straight thing…”
“I know, we’re just taking the piss, chill out,” Jase remarks as he goes back to playing the game.
“But you’re gonna call her, right?” Liam asks.
“Maybe, but not until I’m in a house of my own.”
“Oooh, he doesn’t want us to hear her screams.” Jase laughs as he sees the look on my face.
“Knock it off, boys, let’s just play the game, yeah?”
We play for a couple of hours before the boys head up to bed, leaving me to ponder whether or not to call Molly. I’m not up for a relationship, but maybe something casual wouldn’t hurt. She’s no Kara, but she’s pretty enough. I take my phone out and tap out a text. The ball’s in her court now.
Chapter Nine
Kara
A month later…
The bookstore is taking shape nicely. The builders have been more than accommodating when I asked to change a couple of things on the original plans. All it really needs now is a lick of paint and to get the furniture in. Zoey and I have been shopping for some bits and pieces that we could make work in the space. We have a few reclaimed projects that we worked on together, transforming things to look like they had belonged in the bookstore all along. We’ve been keeping things in storage until the place was ready to move it all in. The way things are going, that should be any day now.
“Wow!”
I turn round to see my best friend. Her jaw is on the floor. I’m glad she can see what I see here.
“It’s great, right?”
“It’s…perfect.”
For once, my friend is a little lost for words.
“It just needs painting, and then we’ll be set to move the tables and chairs and stuff in.”
“Yeah, I mean…wow. I knew you had a vision, but this exceeds my expectations.”
“I’m pleased to hear it. Opening day is officially ten days away, and I am so excited.”
Zoey wraps her arms around me and kisses me on the cheek, a rare display of affection.
When I first had the idea for this store, I knew I wanted to do something different. There was a lot to accomplish, and there were times when I didn’t know whether it would work or not. They say a lot of businesses fail in the first year. I don’t want that to happen to me, but I can only try my hardest to prevent that fro
m becoming a reality.
The bookstore where I worked before opening my own place know that I’m not doing this to be in competition with them. I’ve got a totally different vision in mind for this place and my old boss wished me every success in my new venture.
Part of my plan is to get authors in for book signings. I’ve always felt a rush when I’ve attended signings, but sometimes they are overwhelming and you don’t get to see everyone you want to see. However, with just one author for a couple of hours, it would be a more intimate setting. The hard part will be convincing authors to take a chance on my bookstore, but I have to believe it will work. I’ve already got someone booked in for a signing the week after I open, so I’m hoping if that’s a success, we’ll be in a better place to get other authors in.
I walk round with Zoey in tow and point out different things to her so she can see my vision in its totality. She’s literally bouncing on the balls of her feet, a sure sign she’s excited.
“I love the idea of the mom and baby room,” she says as we finish the grand tour.
“I saw the same kind of thing in a library once and I thought we could have a room like it.”
“I don’t get how it will work, though. In a library, they can take the book from the shelf and read with their child, and that’s okay, because they aren’t new books. But with a room like that in a bookstore…doesn’t that defeat the object of actually selling books?”
“In a way, yes. But the books in that room are all second-hand. They all have dust jackets and they are for reading in that room only. The parents can’t check the book out and take it home, but if they like the book, they can find it on a shelf in the store or we can order it in for them to purchase.”
“Ooh! That makes sense. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to put a damper on things, I was just curious.”
I’d felt the same when I was thinking through ways to make such a room work. But then I’d come up with a solution and thought it was a good idea. If that room doesn’t work in the long run, I can always repurpose it to fit with the rest of the store, but having asked the opinion of lots of locals when I canvassed the area, there were a lot of moms that said they’d use the room.