by Alison Mello
“The coffee bar looks good. I like how it’s set out.”
“Thanks, Zo. It means a lot that you came to take a look round.”
I hug my best friend and look around my place in awe. I can’t believe it’s all mine. Something I have wanted to do for a long time now is actually going to happen. It’s no longer ideas scribbled in a journal, it’s a reality, and I am going to work damn hard to keep my dream alive.
***
“Chapter & Verse, I like it,” Zoey says as she serves up the meatballs and tagliatelle she cooked for our tea.
“Yeah, I worked on names for such a long time. I went on forums and canvassed opinion on which of my options they liked best.”
I sit down and begin to devour the delicious pasta.
“And the website looks great. I can’t believe how awesome it all looks. Actually, no, I can believe it because you’ve busted your ass for months.”
We chat as we stuff our faces with the most delicious meal I’ve had in a while. I have been working so hard and putting in such long hours that microwave meals for one have been my sustenance, and they aren’t exactly nourishing.
I load the dishwasher and top up our glasses of prosecco.
“You know we have to have real champagne at the opening,” Zoey pipes up.
“Yeah, I’ve got some on order, don’t worry. And soft drinks for any kids that might come along.”
“Sounds like you have it all planned. Who’s cutting the ribbon?”
“Me, why? Who did you think it would be?”
“Well, I thought a local celebrity or something. You know, like a gimmick to get more people to turn up.”
“It’s my store, why should anyone but me open the place?”
I can’t hide the fact that I’m affronted. I didn’t think it needed a gimmick or something to attract more customers. But now she’s said it, I can’t get it out of my head. Should I have booked someone to come and open it?
***
10 days later…
It’s the day of the opening of Chapter & Verse, and it seems I didn’t need a celebrity or anything to attract more custom. The crowd gathered outside seem more than happy to see little old me as I step up to the microphone. I’d had a local PA company set up a speaker outside so I could be heard. I wasn’t sure I’d need it, but looking out at the crowd, my opinion has changed.
“Good morning, everybody, my name is Kara, and I am the owner here.”
I give a short pause and look around at all the faces in front of me. There are just so many people here that I am overwhelmed.
“My vision was to bring you a bookstore with a difference. Inside, you will find a coffee bar, a mom and baby room, also a small room with a few iMacs set up for research. I guess you could say that this is part bookstore, part library in a way—there isn’t one term to define it—but I hope you will find what you’re looking for inside and will come back time and again. I want you to feel comfortable and welcome here. So without further ado…I give you Chapter & Verse.”
I cut the red ribbon across the double doors that bear my new logo and the automatic doors open. The crowd burst into a round of applause and then there is a flurry of activity as they all bustle inside and go in different directions.
“This is an amazing turn-out,” Zoey says as she grabs my arm and pulls me to the table set up in the main room of the store.
We start to pour glasses of champagne for the people milling around and hand out cartons of orange juice to the children. I have disposable glasses and a box by the doorway that has a ‘Please Recycle Here’ sign.
I look around and am feeling all kinds of giddy.
“This is a great place you’ve got here,” a cute guy says as I hand him a glass.
“Thank you.”
I feel a blush creep across my cheeks. I’m so proud of this place and I really hope it can stay afloat.
“I mean it. I used to shop at the smaller store across the other side of town but they didn’t have as much in the way of genres as you do. Nor do they have some of the latest books that I want. I love how you stock Indie authors too.”
“That’s great. I have a lot of hope for this place, and my Indie bookshelves are some of my favourites in the whole place. I’m Kara, by the way.”
“Liam,” he says as he shuffles the pile of books he’s holding to the other arm so he can stick out a hand for me to shake.
“Pleasure to meet you, Liam.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of me. The store is great, I have a really good feeling about the space.”
“Me too.”
Liam puts his pile of books on the counter in front of me and I ring up his purchases.
“You must be something of a bookworm,” I say as I put his books in a couple of bags, “Sorry, that was stating the obvious. I’m really nervous, can you tell?”
“You’re bound to be nervous, it’s a pretty big day for you. Don’t stress, just go with the flow.”
I smile as Liam hands over the money for his purchases.
“You were right though, I am a bookworm. My boyfriend thinks I’m a studious geek,” he said as he air quoted the last two words.
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with being studious, you know. How do you think I put together a business plan for this place? I studied, hard.”
Liam laughed as I handed him his bags.
“Well, you’ll probably see more of me, as I tried the coffee earlier, and boy, it’s good stuff. Better than any instant crap.”
I had to laugh. I’d researched everything down to the smallest of things, and coffee was one of the things I really wanted to get right. I knew it would be important or else the customers wouldn’t return.
“Yeah, none of that instant crap.”
“Well, I’ll be off, but I’ll see you soon.”
“It was nice meeting you, Liam.”
I was still laughing softly to myself when Liam said goodbye and left.
The rest of the day went by in a blur of activity. So many customers and so many lovely compliments too. It could have been thanks to the discount I was giving to customers that spent over twenty pounds, or it could just have been the perfect first day. I don’t know, but I’m sure I’ll find out in the coming weeks.
I’m just closing the shop when I get a text from Sawyer.
Sawyer: Hey, sorry I couldn’t make it to opening day, work was mad today. How did it go?
I smile to myself as I type a reply.
Kara: Hey, it went really well. It was better than I could have imagined.
Sawyer: That’s great. Want to talk about it over drinks?
Kara: Sure. Where?
Sawyer: How about Madison Avenue?
I’ve heard of the place but never been. I’m not sure how dressy it is and I’m only dressed sort of smart casual.
Kara: Sure. I’m only dressed how I have been at work all day though.
Sawyer: That’s okay, me too. Shall I pick you up?
Kara: It’s okay, I’ll meet you there.
I pull up outside a few minutes later. Walking in, I don’t spot Sawyer, so I take a seat at the bar and order myself a diet Pepsi.
Ten minutes later, Sawyer walks in and apologises for the delay in his arrival. He looks good in a grey suit, crisp white shirt, and dark grey tie. His hair is styled to perfection and I wonder how he had time to scrub up so well, having been on shift at the police station all day. Maybe that’s why he’s running a few minutes late.
He orders a Pepsi and unbuttons his suit jacket. Greeting me with a kiss on the cheek gives me the time to discreetly inhale and see what kind of cologne he wears. I don’t know what it is, but it smells good. This only adds to Sawyer’s appeal and I can’t help but smile at him.
We sit and talk about my day and he seems really pleased for me in this new venture. It’s nice to meet someone who is so interested in my work.
Sawyer and I seem to get on well. He’s a great guy. He’s no Reid, but I have to
shake thoughts of him and move forward with my life instead of standing still. Sawyer is handsome, has a great physique—as far as I can tell—and likes to make me laugh. With chocolate brown eyes, day old stubble, and a killer smile, he is my type physically. Is there an emotional connection? I guess that’s hard to tell, considering we don’t know each other very well. I do like what I’ve seen of him so far though, so that’s something. We’ve talked about his family and how close he is to them. He has an infectious laugh and a great sense of humour. My sarcasm isn’t lost on him and he’s just as quick to quip back as I am. Unlike any other man I know, I’m sensing that Sawyer is the kind of guy that women go weak at the knees for.
We stay until closing time at the bar, both only having drunk soft drinks so that we’re okay to drive home. It just goes to show that you don’t have to drink alcohol to have a good time.
Opening my car door, I turn to say a last goodbye to Sawyer but don’t realise he’s stood right behind me. He pulls me close to him and leans in to kiss me. His mouth melds to mine, and my mind spins as he probes deeply with his tongue, our hot breath mixing and creating a heady feeling in me. Our tongues dance together and I want more, so much more. I feel a warm sensation pool in my abdomen as he pulls away and looks at me through hooded, seductive eyes. The look on his face speaks volumes, and it takes everything in me not to invite him back to mine. I don’t want to rush into things too quickly. Okay, so it was a foot-popping kiss—the kind that you normally see in movies—but that doesn’t mean I need to fall into bed with him…yet.
Chapter Ten
Reid
Liam can’t help chewing my ear off about this great girl he met in a bookstore in town. Apparently it was her grand opening and he was dying to see how she’d renovated the old cinema I used to go to as a kid, The Picture House. Apparently she’d turned it into a really cool new place to buy books and hang out, blah, blah, blah. I tuned out to what he was saying when he started on about the interior decoration. There’s only so much I can listen to when it comes to things like that. Where is my damn brother? He gets Liam’s incessant talk about soft furnishings and all things design. Turns out Liam is doing a course in interior design and hoping to kick-start a career as a designer. He ‘has an eye for these things’ as he likes to tell me. But then Liam said something and I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right.
“Say that again, what was her name?”
“Kara. She’s such a cool chick. Hey, I should see if she’s single and set you guys up. She’s drop dead gorgeous, you know, if you’re that way inclined.”
I didn’t know whether it was my Kara, but I had to find out. Well, I say ‘my’ Kara, but she isn’t. Never has been and never will be. More’s the pity.
***
I decided to ignore what Liam said. Least said, soonest mended and all that. The sooner I forgot my fantasies about Kara Scott, the better. That didn’t stop his nagging for him to be allowed to set us up. Over the week that followed, he mentioned her name far too many times for my liking. So I decided to do the only thing I could—I sent Molly a text asking her on a date. She’d replied almost as soon as the text was sent and I didn’t know whether that was her being too eager or me jumping to conclusions. We arranged to go to the local street fair. I hadn’t known the first thing about what a street fair was until Molly told me we should go to one. I decided to go on Google and search for it so I didn’t sound stupid. As it turns out, there was usually booths that sell various goods, carnival rides, and sometimes even a parade. There was also a possibility of having live bands and a fashion show, the latter of which I wasn’t interested in, but I could probably be persuaded to give the live bands a try.
We’re due to meet in ten minutes and I’m sitting here in my car, parked not too far away. I’m bricking it if I’m honest. Normally I’d take a woman to a bar or a restaurant for a first date, but seeing as Molly worked in a restaurant, I was up for trying something new when she suggested it. This is something out of my comfort zone though, and I’m not sure what kind of impression Molly will have of me by the end of the day. I could totally hate it and seem like a bore, but I’m hoping that doesn’t happen.
Looking to my left, I see Molly walking towards the bench in town where I’d agreed to meet her. I get out of the car and head in her direction. She sees me coming and gives me a little wave. She looks cute in cut-off jeans and a camisole. I’m by her side in a matter of moments and she gives me a peck on the cheek. She smells good, a nice floral scent. I love how she’s curled her hair and is only wearing minimal makeup, I don’t like girls who cake their faces in it. I remember when Jason and I were younger and he asked one of my girlfriends if a Crayola factory had exploded and she’d got caught in the crossfire. I laughed my head off for days afterwards. How I’d kept a straight face at the time he said it, goodness only knows.
Heading towards the street fair, I’m unsure what to do with my hands, whether to put one next to hers and see if she’ll take it, or whether to keep them to myself a little while longer, so they hang limply at my sides.
***
The street fair was actually more fun than I thought it would be. We walked around hand in hand after Molly slipped hers into mine—I had wanted to take her hand, I just wasn’t brave enough. Visiting stalls that sold trinkets was more her thing than mine, but I observed her as she perused the goods on offer and that made me smile. I bought her a small wooden puzzle box that she’d been checking out and she kissed me in gratitude—granted, it was only a chaste peck on the lips, but she kissed me nonetheless.
There was a live band and we stood with beers in hand listening to them play. It made me want to go to a real gig somewhere, the music buzzing through my veins was a high that I wanted more of. Molly seems like a free spirit. She danced without a care in the world about who might be watching. She looked absolutely stunning as the sun shone down on her and she moved her lithe body in rhythm with the music.
I’m now sat at home thinking about the lingering kiss she left me with at the end of our date. Her lips were soft and she tasted like the strawberry lip gloss I’d seen her reapplying during the day. The kiss was warm and sensual, her tongue had sought mine out, and I had been only too happy to oblige. Though it wasn’t a passionate, frenzied kiss, it was still enough to leave me wanting more.
The chemistry between us today was…well, it was there, but I’m left questioning myself. My heart wants Kara, but my head is telling me that nothing could possibly happen with us. Can I convince my head and my heart to be on the same page? Possibly. I’ll have to wait and see what the future holds. Molly is sweet, kind, carefree, and I like that about her. Is there a possibility it could blossom into more? I don’t really know. Can I get over the love I have for a woman I can’t be with? That’s a question for another day.
First things first, I need to sort myself a house out. The sale of the one I was looking at fell through in the end, so it’s back to the estate agents for me. Liam and Jason have told me I can stay with them until I find somewhere, which I’m really grateful for. Jason said it was dead money to just rent somewhere—he said that money could be being saved up for a place to buy instead—and I guess he’s right.
It’s time to start getting my life in order. It might sound daft, or maybe a tad girly, but I really want the house with a white picket fence—okay maybe no fence—the job, wife, and children. So I guess I take it a day at a time from here to see where I end up.
Chapter Eleven
Kara
Chapter & Verse has been up and running for a couple months now and business is going well. Sawyer and I have been dating since that night at Madison Avenue, and I have to say, I am extremely happy. I’m used to dating losers, so our relationship makes a refreshing change. We haven’t rushed into things blindly, we’re taking things slowly and I really like him.
Liam has become a regular customer and frequently uses one of the iMacs to study in solitude. He’s made the odd comment on how happy he sees me with Sawyer
, but something he asked me today has me feeling lost at sea.
“Do you love him?” Liam asked as we talked about my date last night with Sawyer.
“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.
“You don’t know?”
“No, I mean, he’s great and I really like him but…”
I couldn’t finish the sentence. But what, exactly? I like him but…what the hell is stopping me?
“Buuut…?” he strings the word out.
Liam and I have become good friends since he started coming here so often. I’ve found myself able to confide in him. He’s only asked a question that any friend would ask, but it’s rankled me because I don’t know how to answer him.
Liam had left with a wave goodbye, putting his earbuds in and jogging away. I didn’t answer his question, and having had some time alone to think about it, I actually don’t know whether I do love Sawyer or not. That seems bad, considering we’ve been dating for a couple of months, but although he’s a lot of fun and I enjoy the time I spend with him, I guess I see us more casually than I previously thought.
I’m driving home and contemplating how I feel. It’s difficult with questions bombarding me from different directions. Do you love him? What is love, anyway? Shouldn’t you know whether you love him after this long of dating? Do you think he loves you? Is it going to hurt him if you don’t decide soon? Is he in this casually or does he expect more? Why doesn’t anything make sense? What about Reid?