My Weakness

by Alison Mello

  “Come for me, Kara,” Reid whispers.

  His words are the catalyst, it’s like I’ve been waiting for his permission. My eyes flutter closed and I come with such force that my legs shake and my heart is about to burst from my ribcage. I ride the high as long as possible and Reid continues to move his fingers, this time more gently as I ride out the aftershocks.

  I feel Reid’s weight shift behind me and he slowly rolls me onto my back. I look up into the emerald green orbs of his eyes and I can see the love in his gaze. There’s no questioning that this isn’t one of those times where a man says what you want to hear just to get what he wants. Reid Marks loves me. The realisation hits me square in the chest. He kisses along my jawline as he moves to rest over me. His arms are braced on either side of my head as he lowers his mouth to mine and claims my lips in a sweet kiss. I’m aware I probably have morning breath, but the moment he parts my lips with his tongue to seek out mine, I realise I don’t care. Our tongues dance slowly at first, our kiss soft and tender. I hitch my legs around his waist to draw him nearer. I need him like I’ve never needed another. His touch makes all my earlier thoughts evaporate, all that matters is the here and now.

  ***

  I’m making breakfast when Reid strolls in wearing just his jeans from last night. His skin is beaded with water from his morning shower and I can’t help but watch as he walks towards me, the top of the V showing just over the waistband of his jeans. His abs are defined as if someone had sculpted him out of clay. Perfection personified; two words that describe this truly beautiful man.

  Wrapping his arms around me from behind, he distracts me from my task by kissing my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I finish chopping the fresh fruit to go with our pancakes without causing myself an injury, a feat I swear I nearly couldn’t manage considering Reid keeps up his distraction techniques; moving my hair aside and kissing my bare shoulders, gently nipping my earlobe, and growling playfully when I smacked at his arm in an attempt to try to get him to behave.

  “I hope you’re hungry,” I say as I point towards the breakfast bar.

  I’ve already laid out the plates piled with pancakes, a can of squirty cream, and a bottle of maple syrup. Reid looks in the direction of the food and then smacks my ass playfully as he walks over and picks up a pancake. He rolls it up and takes a huge bite. I laugh as I walk over with the fruit in hand. We take our seats opposite each other and begin to eat.

  “I’m sure I could find another use for this cream,” Reid says as he shakes the can and squirts some directly into his mouth.

  “I’m sure you could, but not right this minute.”

  I am nowhere near sated from the mind-blowing orgasms he gave me not too long ago, but I am also aware that the bubble needs to burst. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t want it to, I would want to wrap us both inside for as long as possible, but I fear we need to talk. Really talk. I don’t want to push him before he’s ready, but I need to know where I stand. I can’t let this go any further without some kind of reassurance from him. My insecurity has reared its ugly head, and as much as I want to push it to the back of my mind, I just can’t. I am already so deeply in love with him that if he walked away now, it would break my heart. But I fear the longer we go on without acknowledging certain things, my heart will be put through the wringer, and I just think it prudent to keep a bit of distance between us until I’m clear how things are between us.

  “Are you okay?”

  I shake myself out of my thoughts and smile at him.

  “Of course, just a little…” I trail off.

  I wanted to at least enjoy breakfast before approaching this conversation, but I’m not sure it’s possible.

  “Kara…” He reaches a hand across the small breakfast bar and lays it on top of my hand.

  I look up and see a questioning look in his eyes.

  “Reid, honestly, let’s just enjoy breakfast.”

  “Okay.”

  His short reply makes a lump form in the back of my throat. I guess the bubble has well and truly burst.

  ***

  After cleaning up the breakfast dishes, I distract myself by cleaning the kitchen surfaces down. Reid disappeared to retrieve his shirt from my room, then went into the lounge. I have no idea what he’s doing, but I know what I’m doing; I’m playing for time.

  Why am I such an idiot? Why couldn’t my emotions stay at bay just for one morning? I’m surprised he hasn’t cut and run already. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. We slept together, there shouldn’t be this much emotional entanglement after one night. But it’s not just one night. It’s been years. I’ve tip-toed around my feelings since I met him. Has he truly felt the same like Zoey implied? I need to get in that bloody lounge and find out. So why are my feet glued to the floor? I feel like I’m rooted to the spot and it takes so much effort just to put one foot in front of the other.

  I make my way to the lounge door and stop to listen for a moment. I hear Reid’s footsteps like he’s pacing the room. When I open the door, I see he’s doing just that.

  “Hey,” I say cautiously as I approach him.

  I take Reid’s hand in mine and lead him over to the couch. We sit side by side and he wraps his hand tightly around mine.

  “What is it, Kara? You can just spit it out. Do you regret last night? Do you think you made a mistake?”

  “What? Oh my god, no! Reid, it wasn’t a mistake. At least not for me.”

  He sighs audibly and I take a few calming breaths before continuing.

  “Reid, I don’t know how to…it’s just…wow, I’m making a real hash of this. I heard you last night. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t know if you meant for me to hear.”

  My words come rushing out and I’m making a total mess of what I wanted to say.

  “You heard me what, Kara? I don’t know what you mean.”

  His words say one thing but the look on his face says another. He knows exactly what I mean and I think he feels a little embarrassed about it.

  “You said you love me.”

  Reid reaches up and cradles my face in the palm of his hand.

  “And you have questions about whether or not I meant it?”

  “I guess so. I mean, I just don’t know where I stand. I mean, we aren’t dating, it was just sex, right? But then you said you loved me, and I know some people say that in a haze after sex, but they don’t mean it, not really.”

  I’m rambling and we both know it.

  “Kara, take a breath. I meant every word. I do love you. I have for a long time now. It’s a long story, I guess, but I’ve loved you since I met you.”

  My heart is beating erratically. He can’t mean that. He was with Zoey when we met and they were so in love. I saw it with my own two eyes. They were one of those sickly sweet couples.

  “Reid, I…”

  I don’t manage to finish my sentence because Reid leans in and claims my lips with his. It’s not a sweet, gentle kiss. It’s full of passion, lust, love. He pours all his emotions into the kiss. When he pulls back, I trace my fingers across my lips, they feel all tingly.

  “Kara, I know we aren’t dating, but it wasn’t ‘just sex,’ it was so much more than that. I know you’re probably confused by my actions, but if you’ll let me, I’d like to make it up to you. I told you last night that I want you. I told you I want a relationship. All of that was true. I’ve loved you since we first met, and that’s the truth too. I can see by the look in your eyes that you don’t quite believe that, but I swear it’s the truth. Zoey and I weren’t right for each other, but neither of us knew how to let go. It’s hard to explain, but honestly, we weren’t right for each other. We weren’t even in love. Not in the end. Well, I’m not sure we ever were.”

  His words take me by surprise and he must see the shock register in my eyes. He pulls back a little further and looks me directly in the eye as he takes my hand and places it over his heart. I feel it thundering under my palm and it registers that he’s just as nerv
ous as I am. Though why he has to be nervous, I don’t know. It’s a good job I’m not working today because I don’t ever want to move. The man I’ve loved for as long as I’ve known him is looking me in the eye, imploring me to believe that he’s been in love with me all along. Everything else fades to background noise as I let it sink in.

  “I love you too,” I confess softly as I lean in to kiss him again.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Reid

  Kara looks at me and I can’t look away. I can’t break the spell. She doesn’t know that she holds my heart in the palm of her hand. There’s so much more I want to tell her, need to tell her, but I can’t bring myself to talk about it just yet. She needs to know where she stands, and I need to make her aware of how just much I love her. I want her to know exactly what she means to me and I intend to show her, not just tell her.

  “Have you got work today?”

  I see the surprise flicker in her eyes at the seeming change of conversation.

  “No, I’m not back at work until tomorrow.”

  I haven’t got a plan as to what to do with the rest of the day, but I need to show her just how much I want her to be mine.

  “Good.”

  I lean in to kiss her and she wraps her arms around the back of my neck, pulling me closer. I wrap one arm around her waist and cradle the back of her head with my other hand. I seek out her tongue and feel Kara melt into the kiss. I pour all of my love into this one kiss. She kisses me back just as passionately and I have to momentarily pull back to take a breath. I manoeuvre us so that she is now sat in my lap, her breathing is just as erratic as mine, and I feel my cock twitch as she straddles my lap in nothing but a pair of bed shorts and a thin camisole. Her creamy smooth skin is begging for my touch. I can’t get enough of her, but I restrain myself because we can’t spend the day in bed—as much as I’d like to. Kara leans into me and her breasts are crushed against my chest as she moves so that there is no space between us. Placing feather-light kisses along my jawline, she makes her way to nip at my earlobe as I did to her earlier. I can’t deny what a turn-on it is. My cock twitches harder and it’s becoming harder to form coherent thoughts. I feel her hand reach down to stroke me over the top of my jeans and it’s all I can do not to throw her down on the couch and take her here and now. I pull back slightly, out of breath and hazy from my thoughts.

  “Kara,” her name is more like a sigh on my lips.

  “Reid,” she says breathily as she leans in to claim my lips once more.

  I break away with a laugh.

  “Kara, as much as I want to, we can’t stay here like this all day. Let’s get dressed and go do something.”

  My heart slumps at the mere suggestion of not staying here with her, wrapped up in a blissful, perfect bubble.

  “What were you thinking?”

  Intrigue sparks in her eyes and I curse myself that I don’t have a plan.

  “How about I go home and get a change of clothes, you put on something comfortable, and I’ll pick you up in about an hour?”

  She jumps off my lap and claps with the enthusiasm of a young child. She is utterly adorable, but she could also give you whiplash at the sudden change in direction. Less than a minute ago, she was kissing me, rubbing my cock, and encouraging me to make love to her. But now she’s up and bouncing on the balls of her feet, giddy with excitement.

  I guess I have an hour to think of somewhere to take her. Reluctantly, I slip my shoes on and kiss Kara goodbye. I get into my car and head home.

  Jase greets me as I walk through our front door.

  “Yo, bro! Where have you been? Are those the same clothes as yesterday?”

  He gives me a shit-eating grin and I go up to my room, ignoring him.

  Returning to the lounge in fresh clothes, I see Liam and Jason sat on the couch. Liam grins up at me and I know I can’t keep it from him. He knows how I feel about Kara, since I told him after Molly and I split up.

  “Hey Reid, what you doing today?”

  “If you must know, I’m taking Kara out.”

  My statement garners whoops and hollers from the two of them. Jason gets up and pats me on the back.

  “About time, bro, about bloody time!”

  “Yeah, well, the thing is, I don’t know where to take her.”

  “What kind of thing did you want to do? Something romantic? Liam’s eyes light up at the thought as he asks me.

  “Yeah. I just don’t know what. Any ideas?”

  I sit my ass down next to Liam as he picks up his iPad and does a Google search for something called Blakelands. I’m not sure what that is until the search results pop up and I see a photo of a hotel. Liam picks up his phone and calls the number on the screen.

  “Hi, I was hoping you could help me. I was planning a surprise trip for my partner, I know it’s a little last minute but do you have any rooms available for tonight?”

  I don’t hear what the person on the other end says, but from the smile on Liam’s face, I guess that’s a yes. He looks at me and mouths, “Credit card.”

  I fish around in my pocket for my wallet and hand it over to him.

  “Yes, just the one night. I was thinking The Ebony and Ivory Room.”

  The person on the other end of the line must tell him the room is available, as he reads off my card number and books the room in my name for one night. Thanking the person for their help, he hangs up and gives me my credit card back.

  “There you go, bro.”

  I look at him and realise that Kara has to be at work tomorrow. Shit! Can I convince her to take the day off, or at least the morning so we can travel back? I also don’t know that she’ll want to stay the night with me. I mean, I know last night happened, but I don’t want her to think that sex is all I have on my mind. Romantic trips are something you’d normally do in a relationship when you know where you stand, aren’t they? Why is shit so complicated?

  “Lee, I was looking for something romantic and that place looks great from what I can see, but don’t you think it’s a little soon for romantic overnight hotel stays?”

  “You stayed the night at hers last night, no?”

  “Well, yeah, but…”

  “No buts,” he interrupts. “It’s romantic and it’s a great place with heavenly food. I took Jase there a while back. She’s not going to rebuff a romantic night away with the man she loves.”

  “He’s right, big bro. Just go for it. What have you got to lose?”

  “Umm…Kara if she doesn’t like the idea,” comes my snarky answer.

  “Cool it, dude, she’ll love it. Chicks dig romance. They’re all hearts and flowers and all that shit.”

  “You’re a chick then,” Liam interjects as he playfully smacks his boyfriend’s ass.

  Jason laughs and I can’t help but hope that one day Kara and I can have the easy kind of relationship they have.

  “I guess I’ll go pack then,” I say as I leave the room and head upstairs to throw some clothes in a bag for tomorrow.

  “And don’t worry, I’ll cover her shift at work,” Liam shouts up to me.

  Well, at least that’s one thing I don’t need to worry about. All I have left to worry about is her impending rejection if she doesn’t like the idea. I think about not telling her, but that would cause problems because she’ll need clean clothes and toiletries, and if we get there without me telling her what we’re doing, she could reject me there and then, and I think that might possibly be worse.

  After my bag is packed, I throw it in the boot of the car and tell the boys I’m leaving.

  “I’ve put the postcode in your Sat-Nav, but ring if you get lost. It’s really not that hard to find, but I say that because we’ve been there before. So just call if you need directions.”

  Liam fusses like a mother hen, it’s one of his quirks.

  “Thanks, Lee. I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Thanks for covering her shift.”

  I give him a one-arm bro-hug. I also give Jase one, then I jump
in my car and head for Kara’s. God, I hope she’s okay with this plan.

  ***

  Kara lets me in, and as I see what she’s wearing, my cock twitches and my hormones go through the roof. She looks stunning. I said to dress comfortably, thinking we’d be doing something a little different to this late plan. She’s wearing a plunge neck sweater that really accentuates her figure. It’s a sort of aubergine colour and it really suits her complexion. Add to that a pair of black skinny jeans and her hair pulled back in a messy bun. She’s barely wearing any makeup. I like that. I don’t like women who are overly made-up. Natural, light makeup is perfect, and Kara has it down like an art-form. The nape of her neck is on show thanks to her up-do. I eye that expanse of skin as she walks in front of me. I can’t help but reach around her to pull her into me so I can plant kisses along the feather tattoo she has there. Kara’s giggles are like music to my ears, and she squirms in my arms as I breathe softly, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

  “So where are we going? Is my outfit okay?”

  “Okay? You look perfect. As for where we’re going, well, I’m hoping we end up getting there.”

  “What do you mean?” she asks as she turns to look at me.

  “Well, firstly, the way you look has me wanting to lock the door and never leave the house.”

  “And secondly?”

  Her voice is hesitant. She looks like a deer caught in headlights, not knowing whether to stay or run.

  “It’s a place called Blakelands Country House. So you’ll need to pack a change of clothes for tomorrow.”

  My words kind of tumble over themselves as I scrutinise her for her reaction.

  “Oh!” her voice is soft. Her lips part and her eyes light up.

  “Is that okay?”

  Now it’s my turn to hesitate. Damn. Dating really isn’t as easy as they make out on television or in the romance novels I know Kara loves to read.