My Weakness

by Alison Mello

  I realize my hand is wrapped around my cock, and it’s hard beneath my hand. I groan as erotic images flit through my mind. I feel my balls draw up tight. A tingle starts at the base of my spine as I imagine my fist is her tight pussy. I come with a grunt and a groan, my come splashing against the shower wall.

  After rinsing off, I climb out of the shower, and with a towel wrapped around my waist, I head into the kitchen and grab a beer out of the fridge. I flop down on my couch and turn on ESPN. I’m only half watching.

  Lately I feel like I’ve been in a funk, and I don’t know how to get out of it. It feels like life is moving around me at a fast pace, but I seem to be standing still. I can’t even say that it’s because of Chloe, because honestly, I started feeling that way before we slept together.

  I’ve felt restless, unsettled. My dad seems to think it’s because I’m ready for more out of my life—that I’m ready to settle down—but that can’t be it, can it? I’m twenty-four years old. I’ve enjoyed lots of women since I began to take notice of them. I’ve always loved uncomplicated, and the one time I tried to take it seriously, it went to shit real quickly.

  Tracey and I met while I was still at the community college with Violet, taking our pre-requisites. From the start, I should’ve known it was wrong. We didn’t fit; I’ve always been social and make friends everywhere I go—girls and guys flock to me. But she hated going to bars and kept to herself a lot. She shied away from people she didn’t know.

  Whenever we went out, I liked to put in extra effort to look good, but Tracey preferred running shorts, t-shirts, and tank tops more than anything. She never wore makeup, either.

  None of that bothered me, though. I thought she was beautiful, and I told her that repeatedly. But it was four months into our relationship when I noticed her mood swings. Sometimes they happened so rapidly that I could barely keep up. I worried about her all of the time. My grades started falling because I was afraid to leave her alone. I’m not sure if I thought she would hurt herself or afraid she’d hurt someone else.

  Two months after that, her parents finally told me that Tracey was bipolar and her rapid mood swings were called “rapid cycling.” They were in the process of getting her into a treatment center that specialized in bipolar disorder.

  We broke up right before she left. It was amicable, but it still fucking hurt. She wrote me for a while after she left, and the last letter I got was a year and a half ago. Tracey said she was doing great and the meds she was on were the right mix to keep her level. At the end of the letter, she threw me for a loop and told me she was getting married, and I honestly felt my heart break a little.

  Oh, I’m over it and her now. We weren’t meant to be, and I’m okay with that, but maybe that’s when a little bit of an unsettled feeling started. I finish my beer and grab another, trying to shake off the melancholy. Something needs to change.

  ***

  I pull up in front of my parents’ home. It’s my dad and uncle’s birthday, and my mom is throwing them a birthday party. My mom has made a big deal out of birthdays for as long as I can remember. It was always breakfast and presents in bed the morning of.

  Dad and Uncle Dustin are getting a couple rounds of golf from me. I know they don’t always have time to go, but buying them a round is the least I could do. I climb out and make my way up to the front door. I don’t bother knocking because it swings open as I reach it.

  “Uncle Joey!” Natalie flings herself into my arms. “I’ve missed you!”

  “I’ve missed you too, baby girl.” I step inside, and it’s chaos. My cousin Carrington is here with her husband, Damien. He’s with the DEA. Their little twins are playing on the floor with my sister’s youngest. Abby and Cari are sitting with them on the floor.

  “Hey, guys.” Abby comes toward me with Rion in her arms. I reach out to stroke his caramel-colored curls, and he reaches for me too. I take him from his mom. I bend down and kiss Abby’s cheek. “Congratulations.”

  She smiles so big I’m surprised her cheeks don’t crack. “Ben was supposed to let me tell you, but he’s been so excited about it.” Abby rubs a hand over her little baby bump. “This is the last one. Four kids are enough, especially since we weren’t planning on this one.” She points to her belly.

  Cari comes over and gives me a kiss and a hug. How she can carry both of those kids without any help is beyond me. I’d probably drop one or both of them. I carry Rion as I follow Natalie through the house and out the back door where the rest of my family is.

  Rion sees my mom, immediately squirms to get out of my arms, and runs right to her. I go to my dad and uncles Dustin and Luke, giving them all back-slapping hugs. Ben and Damien join our little huddle. Everyone is here except for Violet and Luke Jr., because they’re both in Louisiana for school.

  My dad throws his arm around my shoulders. “Thanks for coming. I know you have a busy social calendar, so it’s nice to know you haven’t forgotten about us.” Of course he’s being a smart ass, but rightfully so. I’ve been known to blow off family stuff for a woman. I’m not proud of it, but what can I say? I’m not the smartest sometimes.

  “Har har har. Very funny, Dad. I had to come and celebrate you getting old…I mean, older.” He puts me in a headlock and acts like he’s punching me.

  I excuse myself and go to my mom, kissing her cheek. “Hey, Momma.” She’s got all three grandkids sitting with her and my aunt Stacy. “How’s Violet?”

  My aunt smiles widely. “She’s great. She’s pregnant and excited. Diego’s over the moon.” She looks at my mom. “When did we become old enough to be grandparents?”

  Mom flashes her a smile. “I don’t know, but I love it, and you will too. Just don’t go cray cray like Bellamy.”

  My aunt Bellamy was over trying to take Cari’s twins so much that they finally had to set up scheduled days when she could have the babies. These women are all crazy for their grandkids, but isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?

  “I’ll have to call Vi and congratulate her. Where’re Parker and Haddie?”

  “Your brother forgot to ask for tonight off, so he’s working but should be here by seven or eight, and Haddie ran to the store to get more ice cream.”

  I hear the sliding glass door open, and I hear a familiar voice that immediately gets my dick hard. “Tay Tay!”

  I turn to find Chloe come rushing out to my aunt and uncle. My eyes take in her gorgeous body. She’s wearing jean shorts that hug her ass and show off long, lean legs. The faded Mötley Crüe t-shirt hugs her tits and shows off her trim waist. Her raven hair is piled up on top of her head.

  She goes to my mom and dad, hugging them both. “Thanks for inviting me. Carter’s sorry he couldn’t come, but the marching band has a competition this weekend so they’re out of town.”

  I grab beers for all the men because, as always, we gather around the grill while the women are all doing whatever it is that they’re doing. I’ve yet to talk to Chloe, but that doesn’t mean that whenever she’s around that my eyes don’t follow her. Earlier, she and Aunt Stacy were talking off to the side, and it seemed serious, and the nosy part of me wanted to find out what was happening with her.

  The only thing I’ve noticed is that since their talk, my aunt keeps looking in my direction…weird.

  “Uncle Joey.” I look down and find Natalie standing next to me.

  “What is it, sweetheart?”

  “Can you come over and play with us tomorrow?” I try to get over to see my sister’s kids as often as I can. Sometimes I work crazy hours, so it’s not always possible. I pick up a lot of the slack so Ben can stay on first shift, which he just started working a few months ago. I don’t mind it—it’s not like I have anyone waiting at home for me.

  God, why does that feel depressing all of a sudden?

  I kneel in front of the little princess. “Yes, I’ll come play with you tomorrow. Maybe you and I can sneak away for some ice cream. How does that sound?”

  Natalie throws her
arms around my neck. “That sounds great! Did you hear Mommy’s got another baby in her belly? I hope it’s a girl, because I’m tired of yucky boys.”

  I throw my head back and laugh. I look around and find my dad and Ben smiling at her and all her cuteness. Chloe comes walking up and looks at us, her eyes going soft, but then it quickly disappears, and she starts backing away. I kiss Natalie and set her down before moving toward Chloe.

  “Chloe? Hey, how are you?”

  “I’m good. How are you?” I can see the pulse in her neck, and it’s pounding rapidly. Does she feel awkward being around me now?

  Without thinking, I reach out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ve been good. Been thinking about you a lot.” Her eyes widen, and I could get lost in their blue depths. “Why is that so hard to believe? We had a great time, didn’t we?”

  “Yeah, we did.” She looks down at her shoes and then back up at me. “I’m here until tomorrow, but could we talk before I head back home?”

  “Is everything okay with you?” I look her over, and she looks fine. I don’t see anything wrong with her.

  “Oh yeah, I’m fine. I just wanted to talk, but if you’re busy, that’s cool.”

  Moving in closer to her, I cage her in with my arms. “How about we go somewhere and talk after the party?”

  “Okay, sure.”

  My fingers rub against her soft cheek, and I watch her pearly white teeth bite into her lower lip. Her cheeks turn a gorgeous pink color.

  She scoots out from in between me and the railing and hustles into the house. My dad and uncle are by the grill, and while Uncle Dustin flips burgers, my dad’s staring at me with a curious look on his face. I give him a chin lift and then head inside.

  After presents, cake, and ice cream, the party is winding down. My baby sister, Haddie, and I pick up the trash so the parental units can sit and relax. Dad’s got Mom in her usual spot, on his lap. Abby’s sitting next to Ben on the sofa, and Rion is asleep in her lap.

  Chloe is sitting next to Aunt Stacy and Cari, who’s holding her twins in her arms. The munchkins are passed out. I feel someone come and stand next to me. It’s Damien. “The twins are really cute, but man, they’re busy,” I say. “How do you guys keep up with them?”

  “I don’t know. To be honest, Cari does a lot, and the girl is Wonder Woman. I feel like she’s always on the move with them, and she never complains. She wants to have another baby, but I want to wait until the twins are closer to two.”

  “Jesus, what if you have twins again?”

  “We’ll certainly be used to it. I’d do anything to make her happy.” He moves farther into the room and sits down on the floor in front of Cari, taking their sleeping son, Ryder, from his wife’s arms.

  My uncle Luke grabs his granddaughter from Chloe, and she gets up and comes toward me. “I’m going to head back to the inn, but here’s my number. If you still want to talk or can talk, just give me a call.”

  I take the slip of paper and watch her move around the room saying goodbye to everyone. I want to follow her, but it would look a little suspicious if I left with her. Although I am an adult, I don’t want my family asking questions I don’t have answers to.

  Uncle Dustin and Aunt Stacy walk her out. I’ll stay another half hour, and then I’ll make my way to Chloe. Hell, if I knew she was coming, I would’ve brought my spare set of keys and let her chill at my place. I program her number into my phone and then stick it back in my pocket.

  When it’s safe for me to go, I say goodbye to everyone and help Abby and Ben load their brood up in their minivan. I promise my mom when I tell her goodbye that I’ll come over for dinner one night next week. Even though we’re all growing up and moving away, she still insists on family dinners at least once a week.

  Of course, with Abby and her brood, it’s a chaotic affair, but my mom loves it.

  In my truck, I send Chloe a text.

  Joe: Hey, it’s Joe. Do you still want to talk?

  She answers almost immediately.

  Chloe: Yeah that’d be great. Do you want to come to me or do you want me to come to you?

  So many dirty thoughts come to my mind, and my dick starts getting hard.

  Joe: Hmmm…I could take that so many ways. Why don’t you come to me?

  Chloe: ;)

  I text her my address, and I rush home so I can beat her there. Once inside, I run through my place and make sure it’s at least a little tidy.

  A knock on my door has me moving toward it. I take a deep breath, reach for the doorknob, and pull it open. Chloe gives me a smile.

  “Hey.” I love the sexy, raspy tone of her voice.

  I reach out and grab her hand, pulling her inside my place. With my foot I kick my door shut, and I blindly reach out and lock the door. I can’t and don’t stop myself from cupping her face in my hands. “Fuck me, you’re beautiful.”

  “You’re not so bad yourself.” She pushes up on her toes until her lips are a hair’s breadth away from mine. “This isn’t why I wanted to see you.”

  My arm slides around her waist, and I pull her tightly to me. Her breasts are pressed firmly against me, and I really wish they were bare right now. I reach up and pull the pins out of her hair until her raven locks come tumbling down around her.

  Her breath is minty as it hits my lips in little puffs. “Why did you come?” I whisper against her lips.

  “I’m pregnant.” She freezes, as do I.

  I grab her arms and push her away from me. “What?”

  “I’m pregnant. It’s yours.” I open my mouth to speak, but she holds up her hand. “Before you and after you, there hasn’t been anyone, at least not for a long time. It’s up to you whether you want to be involved or not, but I’m keeping this baby and am prepared to do it alone.”

  I can’t speak. My mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out. You don’t have as much sex as I have without being extremely careful. My brain is barely functioning right now.

  “You should go.” With all of my might, I ignore her crestfallen expression. Fuck, I don’t know what to say to her right now.

  She grabs her purse, and my door’s shutting before I know what’s happening. My feet come unglued, and I take off running down the stairs to guest parking, but her taillights are the only things I see in the distance.

  “Fuck.”

  Chapter Three

  Chloe

  Two weeks later

  With a steady hand, I use my lucky tweezers to place the cushion-cut sapphire into the unique wedding set that I’ve been working on for the past couple of days. The groom was awesome to work with because he came in with pictures of what he wanted and was very clear on the design.

  Those are my favorite clients because there is no hemming and hawing about ideas. He had a plan, and I’m executing it.

  My stomach rolls, and I take a deep breath. I don’t know where the constant nausea has suddenly come from, but I have to be so careful about what I eat or drink now. My clothes in just two weeks’ time have gotten looser. I’ve been reduced to eating saltines with a little dab of peanut butter on them.

  Pops has been over a lot, making sure I’m okay, and Dad still isn’t speaking to me. I’ve tried texting him and calling him, but he’s not answering. Pops says he’s been working on him, but I told him I didn’t want Dad forced or guilted into talking to me. I’m not going to feel bad about it because I didn’t get pregnant on purpose, but I’m not going to regret this innocent baby, either.

  I haven’t heard from Joe, but considering his reaction, I’m not surprised. A part of me wants to be sad, but another part of me says that it’s not worth the effort. Plus I’ve felt so terrible lately I don’t have the energy to care.

  I focus back on the rings. The engagement ring is gorgeous with its platinum band and a sapphire surrounded by tiny diamonds as the centerpiece. The wedding band is thin with matching diamonds set into it. With all of the gems, I was worried about them looking like costume jewelry, but i
nstead they look vintage. After polishing them up, I place them on the little stand and grab my phone to take pictures.

  When I stand up to grab a jewelry box, I have to grab my chair because I feel like I’m going to fall over. I take some deep breaths and the feeling passes, but my heart feels like it’s racing. I grab my herbal tea and take a small sip, and thankfully it stays down. Too bad it tastes like ass, and I’d kill for a nonfat caramel macchiato.

  I give the groom a quick call to tell him the rings are ready, and he’s so excited he’s heading my way now. This is why I love doing what I do. Last year for my dads’ thirty-fifth anniversary, I made them matching rings with mine and Carter’s birthstones and left enough room to add spouses and children someday, and obviously my child will be the first.

  Ten minutes goes by, and I’m sipping my tea when Mr. Harmon sticks his head in the back. “Chloe. Mr. Peterson is here for his rings.”

  I grab the box. “Do you want to see them first?”

  He takes the box from me and slowly opens it. Very carefully, he pulls them out and looks at them. “Chloe, these are gorgeous. Is this a vintage setting?”

  “No, sir. But that was the look he was going for.”

  “Well, I think you’re going to have a very satisfied customer.” He wipes his fingerprints off and then places them back in the box. I take the box from him and stand up, swaying slightly. Luckily, he doesn’t notice.

  When I’m in the middle of a design, I tend to dress more for comfort, and Mr. Harmon has never complained. My hair is in a knot on top of my head, and I’m wearing cut-off sweats, another vintage t-shirt, and my Adidas. My shirt and shorts are covered by a smock, though, but crap, I think I forgot to put on makeup today.