My Weakness

by Alison Mello

  Ugh…the sadness is trying to creep in, but luckily Haddie and Abby come toward me, and it immediately goes away.

  Joe’s sisters wind their arms through mine as we begin making our way through the mall. They all certainly make me feel like part of the family, and when we go to stores, they give me honest feedback as I try clothes on. For the party, I buy a pair of gray jeggings and a black flowy tank top with a blue cami to wear underneath.

  Abby doesn’t have very many nice things to say about some of Joe’s friends when I tell them who we are going out with. I then tell them about meeting Chris in Atlanta and that he stared at my chest almost the whole time he talked to me.

  After we finish shopping, we make our way across the parking lot to the gourmet burger joint we chose for lunch.

  “Chloe, sit by me,” Natalie says as we get seated at our table.

  Pulling my chair out, I sit down next to Abby’s oldest. “Where are your brothers today?”

  She smiles up at me with her gorgeous hazel eyes. “They’re home with Daddy because they’re naughty and they’re boys. This is girl time.”

  I smile down at her as she begins to color and then look at Abby across the table with a raised brow. “They’re not totally naughty—they’re just three and two and are partners in crime,” she says, “but that’s what I get for having them close together.”

  Our waitress interrupts us when she comes to take our drink order, and as soon as she walks away, Natalie looks up at me. “Are you going to marry Uncle Joe? Can I be your flower girl? I hope you have girls…I don’t want any more boys.” She goes back to coloring, and I feel my face heat up as Journey and her two daughters smile widely at me.

  I look anywhere but at them and am thankful that our waitress comes and takes our orders. When she walks away, I want to follow her, but I don’t. Instead, I turn to Abby. “I hear you sing, too.”

  “I do but not too much these days except when I’m putting the kids to sleep, but I’ve always loved it.”

  “Mommy sings all the time. Gigi says Mommy sings like an angel,” Natalie says from next to me. I wrap my arm around her little shoulders and give them a squeeze.

  “I bet she does.” Abby gives me a smile, and then I look at Joe’s baby sister, Haddie. Over the years, she’s really grown into a beautiful woman. She’s taller than her sister and mom. She’s willowy with long curly strawberry blonde hair and eyes the same color as Joe. She’s also got a tiny gap between her front teeth just like her mom. She’s stunning and doesn’t wear a stitch of makeup. According to Joe, she’s getting ready to begin nursing school.

  “Haddie, do you have an area of nursing that interests you?”

  She’s sitting across from me. “Not really, but I think I want to do hospice. You know, helping someone at the end of their life. I know it’ll be sad because I know they’ll pass, but just helping them die comfortably and with dignity is important.”

  “That’s amazing, and it’s great that you know what part of nursing interests you. Your cousin Carrington is a nurse too, isn’t she?”

  “Yeah, she’s a nurse in the emergency room. She actually works with Ben’s mom, who’s a nurse practitioner,” Haddie says before picking up her iced tea and taking a huge drink.

  The rest of lunch is good. We talk about their families and mine. They ask about my band and my brother.

  “What was Joe like as a kid?” I look at Journey, and Abby starts laughing. “Oh God, do I want to even know?”

  “He was a good boy, but he was mischievous. I used to get calls all the time because of him getting caught kissing girls. He shamelessly flirted with all the females, including faculty. I swear I spent more time at school for him alone compared to the other kids.” Abby and Haddie both agree with their mom.

  “Why can I totally picture him being like that?” I shake my head.

  “He’s definitely kept us on our toes, that’s for sure.”

  When the waitress brings the check, I try to hand her my credit card to pay for everyone, but Journey gives me a look that has me putting it away. Haddie takes Natalie to the bathroom, and we all make our way toward the entrance. “Abby, your belly is just so cute. When are you due?”

  “March second.” She rests her hand on her baby bump, and all I feel is envious. Our kids would’ve been close in age—Violet’s, too. Fate is a cruel bitch sometimes. “Every baby I seem to show earlier and earlier.”

  I watch Journey put her hand on her daughter’s belly. “I was the same way. You look beautiful, baby girl.” It’s times like these that I wish I had a mother. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dads—I would die for them, and I would kill for them, but watching Abby and Journey share this moment makes me uncomfortably sad.

  Without them seeing me, I slip out the door and stand outside, letting the warmth of the sun heat my skin.

  “Chloe!” I turn to find Natalie running toward me. I wrap my arms around her as the rest of the women step outside.

  A short while later, we pull into the parking lot of Joe’s complex. I turn to Journey. “Thank you for a wonderful time today and a wonderful lunch.”

  “You’re so welcome. I had a wonderful time getting to know you today.” She reaches across and grabs me in a big hug. I don’t know what comes over me, but tears leak from my eyes as I hug her back.

  We finally pull away, and she reaches out, wiping my tears away. “No tears or Joe’s never going to let me spend any more time with you.”

  I nod and give her a watery smile. “Thank you again for a wonderful time.”

  “You’re welcome, sweet girl. Now go, because I’m sure any second Joe’s going to come out here and want to know what kept you.” I grab my bags and climb out, waving goodbye as she drives away.

  I make my way up to Joe’s door and knock. He gave me a key, but I don’t feel comfortable using it. I’m wondering if he’s even home when the door opens and he’s pulling me inside. My bags quickly fall to the floor and are forgotten as he lifts me up, my legs wrapping around his hips.

  His tongue enters my mouth, and I can taste the mintiness of his freshly brushed teeth. He pulls back and smiles up at me. “Both of my sisters texted me that they love you, and I’m sure my mom will do the same at some point. Did you have a good time?”

  “I had a great time. They were all so sweet to me. So kissing all the girls when you were little, huh?”

  He gives me that cocky smirk that I love. “What can I say? I’ve always loved the ladies.”

  I can only shake my head. Unfortunately, he sets me down. That’s when I notice that he’s freshly showered and wearing just a pair of black boxer briefs. “It’s really not fair that you look this good in just your underwear.” I walk toward his bedroom after picking up my bags.

  As I lay the bags on his bed, I feel him come up behind me, wrapping his arms around my chest. “Whatcha got in the bags?” He rests his chin on my shoulder.

  “I got an outfit to wear tonight.”

  “I got a couple of steaks, a couple of potatoes, and some asparagus for dinner. I thought I’d make us dinner before we head out.”

  “Mmmm…that sounds great. Do you want any help?”

  “Nope, you relax because it’s going to be a long night. I know I didn’t let you sleep too much last night.” Just the mention of not too much sleep has me yawning.

  He presses his lips to my neck. “Lie down, baby. I’ll wake you in an hour.”

  I crawl onto his bed, and he covers me with the softest throw blanket I’ve ever felt. He bends down and kisses my forehead. I watch him walk out of the bedroom and close my eyes, immediately falling asleep.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I do one last flip of my hair, spraying it with hair spray and then flipping it back. I smooth out the flyaways and then grab my red lipstick out of my makeup bag. I swipe it across my lips and blot them before putting the cap back on. I look at myself in the mirror. “You’re going to have a good time,” I whisper to myself.

  I figure i
f I repeat that to myself over and over, I’ll start to believe it. My outfit looks good on me, making my breasts look bigger and my ass look high and tight. Hopefully Joe likes my outfit. I slip on a couple necklaces, a bracelet, and some rings. I step out into the hall and find Joe cleaning up the dinner dishes.

  He’s wearing a white t-shirt that molds to his lean muscled body and a pair of boot cut jeans that showcase his nice ass and the impressive bulge he has in the front. He’s got a pair of black Nikes on his feet. I won’t lie—he looks so fucking gorgeous.

  When Joe turns toward me, his eyes scan my body, stopping at my face. “Damn, baby, you look incredible. Make sure you stick by me tonight…I don’t want to have to beat asses if some asshole tries to fuck with you.”

  Moving toward him, I stop when we’re almost touching. I place my hands on his chest and inhale his familiar, warm woodsy scent. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

  “You ready to go?” I nod, and he grabs my hand and my car keys and heads outside. He opens the passenger door for me, and I buckle my seatbelt and watch him as he moves around the front end and then climbs in the driver’s side.

  I watch as he adjusts the seat for his long legs, and then we make our way toward a little subdivision. There’s a bunch of cars lining the street and people milling around the huge yard next to a beautiful ranch home.

  I meet Joe on the sidewalk, and hand in hand, we walk toward the house. This is reminiscent of the last house party I was at—the day I lost our baby. As quickly as those thoughts arise, I push them away. Now’s not the time to think about such things.

  We step into the house without knocking since the door is propped open. People stop Joe, and he introduces me. I’ve met so many people I can’t keep names straight. He grabs us a couple of beers. With his arm around mine, we head out French doors in the dining room.

  His friend Chris sees us and waves us over. “Don’t worry—I won’t let him talk to your boobs.” I laugh and bump my hip against his.

  “What’s up, brother? Chloe, you’re looking mighty fine tonight. If you’re looking for a real man to take care of you, you can always come to me, baby.”

  I shake my head, but Joe leans toward him. “Dude, that is never gonna fucking happen.”

  Chris throws his head back and starts to laugh. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen. You’re gonna break some hearts tonight.” Joe’s friend turns to the crowd and hollers. “Ladies, it is with great sadness that I announce that Joe Carmichael is off the market.”

  My face heats up as every woman there turns and stares at us. They look disappointed, and when they turn to me, it’s jealousy and something else…anger, maybe.

  “Seriously, asshole?” Joe says, and all Chris does is shrug his shoulders.

  I look up at Joe. “Should I be worried now? Am I possibly going to get stabbed or something tonight?”

  “Baby, I’m a cop. I’ll protect you.”

  “Whatever you say, Officer Playboy.” I feel his hand slide down my back until he cups my ass and then gives it a swat.

  Why does that turn me on? I’ve played a little bit before, and it was okay, but with Joe…with Joe it felt like so much more. He dominated me, and when he handcuffed me, I swear I almost came.

  Joe leads me toward the back of the yard where there’s a fire blazing. He introduces me to a few more guys that he grew up with. They all seem nice, but some of them just seem really immature. Two guys off to the side are making out with the same girl. There’s a group of girls dirty dancing with each other while a bunch of guys stand around and watch.

  I look at Joe, and he’s oblivious to it, but he’s obviously also oblivious to the fact that I’m uncomfortable. I’m no prude, but I was also never really wild, either. I won’t lie: I was a good girl.

  Joe leaves me to grab us another drink. I should’ve gone with him, but I don’t want to seem like one of those needy girls that have to stay by her man’s side. That’s not me. Chris comes sauntering over as soon as Joe disappears.

  “Hey, Chloe.”

  “Hey, Chris. Your place is gorgeous. As big as this yard is, I bet it takes you forever to mow it.”

  He smiles down at me, and it gives me an uneasy feeling. He doesn’t hide the fact that he’s perusing my body with his eyes. Chris surprises me, reaching out and grabbing a strand of my hair. He gives it a little tug. “This isn’t my place—it’s my parents’. They’re out of town.” He looks toward the house and then back at me. “Did Joe tell you about our parties?”

  I shake my head. “What about your parties?”

  He tugs on my hair, and I try to back away. “Have you ever had a threesome? Have you ever let two men inside your body at the same time?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Joe and I like to share, and I would love to have a taste of you. Would you let me? Would you let me have a little taste?” My heart is racing, and an ugly feeling swirls in my belly.

  “I don’t think so, sorry.”

  “Well, that’s too bad. I do have one question, though. How does it feel to know that your ‘boyfriend’ has fucked every single woman here tonight? Joe is the ultimate player, and I’m thinking you must have some sort of magical pussy to get him to claim you.”

  I’m mortified right now, and every instinct I have tells me to turn and walk away—from this place and from Joe. My eyes glance around, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s true. I knew he wasn’t innocent, but I also wasn’t expecting this. What the fuck do I do now?

  I feel Joe walk up next to me, and I can’t stop it when he wraps his arm around my waist and I stiffen. He notices, because he looks between Chris and me. “What’s going on?”

  I debate whether I should tell him or not, but Chris takes that decision from me. “Nothing, man. I was just telling her about how we used to fuck girls together all the time and I was hoping to get a taste of her magical pussy.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now? Why would you say that to her?” Joe gets in his face. “What’s your fucking problem?” He leads me away from the asshole until we’re off to the side by ourselves.

  “I’m really sorry about that. He’s drunk, and when he’s drunk, he runs his mouth. What else did he say to you?”

  Should I really tell him? Yes, I’m not going to protect that creep. “Well, he thought you’d want to share me with him since you guys do it all the time. He also informed me that you’ve fucked every girl here. Oh, and also that my magical pussy must be how I got the ultimate player to claim me.”

  He closes his eyes and tips his head back, but the one thing he doesn’t do is deny that he’s fucked every girl here. My stomach turns, and I’m not sure how to handle this. I’ve said it before—I know he’s not innocent, and I’m not either, but I didn’t realize the magnitude of his sexual history.

  “I’m so fucking sorry. I should’ve warned you about him.”

  I really want to leave, but I can’t do that—I can’t be that girl who gets upset and leaves. Do all of the girls here think I’m a joke because he was a player? Do they think he’s playing me?

  “Is it true?”

  “What?”

  I don’t want to ask, but I need to know. “Did you sleep with all of the girls here?” He looks at me. I’m not sure what that look’s about, but I know the answer. Nausea fills my belly, and I’m not sure how to deal with this. “You did.” I nod my head. “I need to go use the bathroom.”

  “Do you want me to go with?”

  I shake my head. “I’ll be fine on my own.” I feel his eyes on me as I make my way inside. There’s a line for the bathroom. I pull out my phone and scroll through my pictures, stopping on a selfie I took of Joe and me laying on the bed. I’m smiling at the camera, and Joe’s kissing my forehead. That’s the Joe I’ve fallen in love with. Not the player that slept with apparently everyone.

  “You’re here with Joe, right?” I turn, and a redhead is standing next to me in barely there shorts and a skimpy tank top with her boobs spilling o
ut.

  “Yes.”

  She smiles at me. “If you’re down, I could join you guys tonight. I know he likes threeways, but I think it’s been awhile since he’s had one. I’m sure it’s just like riding a bike, right?”

  “Um…I’m not really down for a threesome, but if you’re that interested in one, I’m sure the two of you could find a third, but it won’t be me.”

  I step out of line, and as I walk away I hear her call out, “Your loss.” I make it outside and find Joe with Chris, and they’re surrounded by girls. A red haze fills my vision, but I don’t do what I really want, and that’s to rip the hair out of each of those slutty bimbos. Instead, I take a deep, calming breath and make my way toward them. Joe turns to me as I approach and moves closer.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Not really. I think I’m going to get an Uber and head back to your place. I’ve kind of lost the desire to party.” He wraps his hand around my bicep and leads me to the side of the house.

  “You know I wasn’t innocent when we hooked up.”

  “Yes, Joe, I realize that, but I also didn’t expect to have each and every conquest of yours thrown in my face. Since we’ve been here, I’ve been propositioned to have two separate threesomes with you and someone else. None of these girls will talk to me. Everyone is so young here I don’t fit in.”

  I turn and start walking toward the front of the house. “Chloe, I’m sorry, okay? Chris is a dick sometimes, and I’m sorry. Yes, I slept around…a lot, but that doesn’t change who I am with you and what we have. I can’t change the past, but I’m not that guy anymore.”

  Joe grabs my hand and leads me toward his car. We’re both silent on our way back to his apartment. I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen.

  We reach his place, and he leads me to his door with a hand on my lower back. Once inside, I turn to look at him. “Maybe we’re just not meant to make it.” God, it hurts to even say it.