My Weakness

by Alison Mello

  A degree of silent discomfort fell over us both before I whirled round, heading back to my bath.

  “Kyra…”

  He said my name in such a soft tone it coated me in shivers. I ignored him, intent on shutting the door between us whilst I buried my head in the sand for a while longer.

  “Kyra, we need to talk.”

  I turned round, pushing the door in front of me as some sort of guard against him. “About what?”

  “You know what.”

  I smirked. “If I knew what, then I wouldn’t be asking, would I?”

  He folded his arms over his muscled chest. “What was that? Last night? I mean, I’m not complaining, but it’s like someone flipped a switch and boom, off you went and jumped into bed with a woman. Where did that come from?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I told you I’d always been curious.”

  He narrowed his eyes and took a few steps towards the bathroom.

  “Fine. You said we’re just having fun because you don’t do relationships so I figured I had nothing to lose. Why not?”

  “I see.” He rubbed his chin between his thumb and forefinger, his face harbouring a thoughtful look. “So despite the fact I may change my mind at some point, you decided to put the final nail in the coffin by involving another person in our sexual relations?”

  My heart raced to new heights as dread and regret tumbled through my body. Had he just said I’d stopped any chance of us getting together? I looked down at the floor, wishing I could curl up into a ball and rewind time.

  My stubborn side chose its moment to show itself. “Yes. I’m not waiting for anyone.” I closed the door to finalise the conversation before reopening it again. “Besides, most guys would love what happened in here last night, and you’re complaining? Pffft.”

  He raised his eyebrows and his lips twitched into something of a smile. “I understand you don’t want to wait but expecting me to declare my commitment to you after a week is a little high expectation, don’t you think?”

  “I have high expectations and patience isn’t my strong point.”

  “Clearly.”

  I scowled at him. “Why the hell did you come down here anyway?”

  He ran a hand through his hair and looked away. “I wanted to see you.”

  “And you couldn’t have waited until Monday?”

  He sat back on the bed, his elbows on his knees as he cradled his head in his hands. “I thought it would be a nice surprise.”

  “Surprises are usually a relationship type of thing, Paul. You can’t take me out for dinner, ask to see me in the evenings, follow me three hours down the road, and then act shocked when I think this is going somewhere.”

  He remained silent for a few seconds before his eyes met mine, somewhat empty. “When you put it like that, I’m sorry. I guess I have given you false hope. I shouldn’t have come here.”

  “Wow. You really are a piece of work. Just go, please.”

  I slammed the door in his face before he could respond. I clicked the lock as loudly as I could to make a point.

  I slid back inside my now lukewarm bath, cursing under my breath at all the interruptions I had at just wanting a damn soak in some hot water.

  A gentle knock tapped at the door. “Kyra…”

  “I’m not listening.”

  A chuckle floated through the door, my anger subsiding. What the hell was this guy doing to me?

  “I’m not going home until you talk to me.”

  I snorted. “Enjoy your stay, then.”

  “Stop being awkward, Kyra.”

  “Fine. When you stop being a confusing asshole.”

  A loud sigh came from the other side. “Friends with benefits, Kyra. That’s the best I can offer you.”

  I smirked as I sank under the bubbles. “Fine. Whatever.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  An hour later we sat in a posh café a few minutes’ walk from the hotel. Ash insisted on taking us there for lunch so I could chat with Ben. He was actually quite sweet. I liked him. He was broad built but well-toned with sandy-coloured hair and dark eyes. His face always wore a pleasant smile and his manners were second to none.

  Ash was detailing me on how they met in Australia. “Hell of a coincidence, don’t you think, Ky? We live in the same country but never meet yet travel to the other side of the world and bam, we meet. It’s like it was meant to be.”

  I forced a smile on my face. “Yeah. Totally meant to be.”

  He caught the sarcasm in my voice and glared at me. “Why can’t you be happy for me? Just because Hot Stuff here is as much of a commitment phobe as you, don’t take it out on me.”

  Ouch. That stung. I bit my tongue, playing the one in the wrong. “Sorry. I’m just a bit tired.”

  He smirked. “Yeah, I bet.”

  He laughed with Ben whilst I turned my attention to the menu, which I’d already read five times over. Ash was picking up the bill as a treat for all of us. When the waitress came over, I took great delight in ordering the most expensive food on the menu. I blew Ash a kiss and sat back in my chair, smiling at his scowling face.

  Ash clasped his hands together, leaning on the table. “Well. I’m glad Hot Stuff here decided to show up.”

  I lifted an eyebrow. “Why?”

  His eyes flitted across to Ben before he sent a beaming smile my way. “Ben and I are going to live together and we’re going to spend a few days house hunting down here.”

  My jaw dropped open. “You what?”

  “We’ve been together over six months. It just feels right.”

  “So let me get this right.” I rested my elbows on the table, glaring at him for all I was worth. “You come back after being away for a year, which may I add, you barely spoke to me for the duration of. Not mentioning you didn’t even tell me the proper date you were coming back. You then whisk me down to London for a weekend for us to spend some time together but all you really wanted was to spend the weekend with your new play toy? Tell me, if Paul hadn’t showed up, how was I getting home?”

  He looked at me as he ran his tongue over his lips. “I’m sorry, Ky. I didn’t realise it sounded quite that bad. I was just excited about you meeting Ben and sharing our news with you. I didn’t quite think of how you may feel…”

  “No.” I stood up, scraping my chair back against the polished floor with a spine chilling screech. “That’s your lot’s problem, isn’t it? You men are just incapable of thinking of anything except your fucking dicks.”

  I stormed out, my temper getting the better of me to say the least. I found a wooden bench a few hundred yards away and sat down, taking deep breaths to calm myself. Thinking over my little outburst as I cooled my temper, guilt began to wash over me as I realised Ben probably thought I was a first class bitch by now. More than anything, I was shocked at Ash and his hidden agenda. Why hadn’t he just been straight with me from the start?

  As I contemplated going back with my apologies, Paul appeared, a blank expression on his face. I rolled my eyes, sighing as I looked the other way.

  The bench moved slightly as he sat down next to me. “I presume that was a little dig at me there?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself.”

  “Kyra, I know what I said isn’t what you wanted to hear but I’m not going to fill you full of false promises. That wouldn’t be fair on either of us.”

  I nodded, biting my lip to stem my flow of tears. I blinked for all I was worth before turning to face him. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

  He smiled, taking hold of my hand. “Are you going to come and eat your food? Ash is currently moaning he’s paying a fortune for food you’re not going to eat.”

  I laughed and nodded.

  After apologising to Ash and Ben, it was decided I would be catching a lift back home with Paul. Unfortunately for me, this meant not only leaving sooner than expected but sitting in a confined space with him for three hours.

  ***

  I woke up some time later in Paul’s car. T
he thought of the atmosphere between us drove me to want to ignore it in any way possible; sleep was my answer to that.

  “Welcome back.”

  I turned my head, blinking the sleep from my eyes as I gazed at the handsome face grinning at me.

  “Do you mind if I make a quick stop at my house before I drop you off?”

  I smiled. Hope began to reignite deep down that this was his little way of letting me take a peek inside his life. “No, of course not.”

  “We tend to have a few people over on Saturday nights. Mum usually sends me out with a shopping list.”

  I frowned. “Every Saturday?”

  He turned his attention back to the road. “Most.”

  Silence fell between us and the main roads melted into quiet back roads as he drove us deeper into the blissful countryside. As the roads became narrower and more dirt than tarmac, a pair of huge black iron gates appeared before us at the end of a rather long driveway. Held in place by two sturdy red brick pillars complete with ornamental lions on top, they took my breath away with the intricate metal work entwining all over them.

  Paul pulled up in front of them, opening the window to type in a key code on the silver number pad stationed a few feet away from the entrance. The gates glided open, allowing us to pass through. My jaw dropped open at the landscaped gardens surrounding us. The perfect gravel driveway edged to perfection with fancy curbstones kept us away from the neat green grass. Hundreds of trees hung overhead, obscuring us from the view of anyone around.

  Drawing closer to the edge of the tree lining, a fantastic sprawling mansion emerged into our view. Complete with a carriageway drive, stone water feature in the middle, and steep steps up to the front door, it was everything you would expect to see in a Jane Austen novel.

  I turned to Paul, my mouth wide open. “You live here?”

  He chuckled and nodded. “It’s my parents’ house but I have the west wing to myself.”

  I raised my eyebrows as I shook my head. Thinking of my own small abode, I felt somewhat embarrassed that he’d seen where I lived in comparison to this.

  He opened his door. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  I nodded, my eyes already trailing over the vast expanse of the amazing building. Paul jogged his way up the cream-coloured steps, entering through a set of dark wooden double doors, which housed a fabulous lion’s head brass knocker.

  After what seemed like an age, I checked the time to see he’d been gone nearly twenty minutes. Entranced by the house, I found myself climbing up the steps and tiptoeing through one of the ajar front doors. I gasped, finding myself inside an exquisite entrance room. The ceiling was so high it made me dizzy. A beautiful gold chandelier hung from the middle of the room and a dark wooden staircase sprawled up the centre, parting left and right at the top with its soft, red carpet. The white marble floor sparkled under the bright lights, highlighting the level of cleanliness this home kept.

  A dark wooden door to the left of the staircase caught my attention, its brass door handle twinkling at me.

  “Paul?”

  My voice echoed around the empty space and I couldn’t help but smile. What an incredible house to live in. I stepped towards the door, careful of making any noise in this quiet setting. Pulling the door open, I gasped as my eyes settled on a middle-aged man with a woman on each arm. He was leaning back against the marble kitchen surface whilst each woman nuzzled their way round his neck.

  My cheeks erupted with heat and I didn’t know where to put myself. “Oh my! I’m so sorry!”

  His grey eyes danced with amusement as he flashed me a dazzling smile. “Have you come to join the party, gorgeous?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  My mouth was open but my lips and tongue would not cooperate into forming words. For every step he took towards me, I took several back, clattering back against the door, which had closed behind me.

  “Aw, come on, honey. We don’t bite. Unless you want us to.” He gave me a cheeky wink as he released one of the women, stretching his hand out to me.

  I shook my head, my hands fumbling for the door handle in a blind panic. I didn’t dare remove my eyes from where he was.

  “Who did you come with?”

  I found the door handle, falling through the open doorway. “Paul.”

  He stopped in his tracks, his facial features changing in an instant. He actually wasn’t that bad looking for his age. “You’re Kyra?”

  My breath caught in my throat and I nodded.

  “I can see why he’s not been himself lately. Please forgive me. I’m his father, Roger.”

  I gave him a weak smile as I continued to back my way to the front door.

  He chuckled and followed me. “Not the best introduction.”

  “I…should probably get back to the car.”

  “Don’t be silly. Come in here and have a drink. Paul is talking to his mum upstairs. He’ll be down in a minute.”

  My jaw dropped as I took in his words. “His mum?”

  “Yes. My wife. You know, it usually takes two to make a baby.”

  My eyes flashed to the kitchen door, which was slowly closing on the two women who were watching us intently.

  He looked behind him and then back at me. “Ah. I’m guessing Paul hasn’t told you about our family business?”

  “He said you do holidays and stuff.”

  A wry smile played across his lips. “Is that what he called it?”

  Leisure and entertainment I remembered were his exact words. I pieced those words together along with the fact his dad was getting it on with two women in the kitchen whilst his mum was upstairs.

  Holy moly! I began to panic. They’re swingers! My eyes flickered back to Roger once the penny dropped with a mind spinning realisation.

  “You just figured it out, huh?”

  I nodded as I held my hands up. “I think I need to go.”

  “Don’t be daft. Come on.”

  “No. Really. I need to go.”

  I ran back across the shiny floor, cursing my choice of wearing stupid flip-flops. Still, I’d thought it was only a car ride home. Slamming the heavy doors shut behind me, I debated taking his car since he’d left the keys in it, but I didn’t know the key code to open the gates, nor did I fancy being arrested for theft. Not tonight anyway.

  I attempted to run across the gravel only for the stones to keep lodging themselves between my toes and under my feet. I stopped, ripping the useless shoes off before stepping onto the grass. Power walking my way under the darkening tree line, I tried to ignore the sound of Paul shouting to me in the distance.

  “Kyra!”

  I broke into a run as I tried to hide the hot tears that sprung from nowhere.

  “Kyra!”

  A dawning horror struck me as I realised I was in the middle of God knew where with no way of getting home. I could call Molly to come and get me but I couldn’t be doing with the interrogation. Not wanting to let this on to Paul, I marched on, determined to make my way out of those gates and keep them as a barrier between me and him.

  The sound of padding on the grass behind me told me he’d caught up with me. Before I knew what was happening, he grabbed my arm, swinging me round to meet him.

  “Kyra—”

  I yanked my arm free, tears spilling down my cheeks. “Don’t touch me.”

  “Kyra, please. I can explain—”

  “Explain what? Your dad feeling up two women in the kitchen whilst your mum is upstairs?”

  He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “It’s complicated.”

  “Complicated? Is that what you call it? Because to me it looks like they’re swingers.”

  He looked down at the floor, staying silent.

  “Holidays and stuff? Leisure and entertainment? Wow, you must have really had a good giggle when I bought that one. This is your family business? That you’re supposed to be taking over?”

  He nodded, avoiding eye contact with me.

  “Have you been sleep
ing with other women whilst we’ve been sleeping together?”

  His eyes flashed to mine, widening. “No.”

  “How am I supposed to believe that?”

  “I haven’t. I promise. It wouldn’t normally have stopped me but—”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  He closed his mouth, then ran his hands over his face.

  “You dirty bastard. You better not have given me AIDS or anything!” I turned from him, continuing my persistent walk to the gates.

  “I haven’t. We’re all tested every three months. Everyone is monitored very closely.”

  I stopped in my tracks, disbelief hitting me like a freight train. I turned round, rage oozing from every part of my body. “Oh, well, that’s okay, then. We’ll have one massive orgy because the doctor says we’re all clean. Wayhay!”

  A pained expression flashed across his face as he stepped towards me. “Ky…”

  Not knowing what to do with my boiling temper and sheer frustration, I threw one of my flip-flops at him and screamed at him to leave me alone.

  He jumped to the side, dodging it by millimetres. “Where are you going?”

  “Home. Alone.”

  “Let me take you.”

  “You are kidding me, right? You are fucking kidding me?”

  “You’re miles from nowhere. Come on, don’t be daft. You don’t even know where you are.”

  I snorted. “I know exactly where I am. At some fucked up house of horn or whatever you call it. I bet you’ve got some purple room of passion or whatever in there, haven’t you?”

  He smirked at my sarcasm and shook his head.

  “You know what, you were right earlier. You shouldn’t have come down to London. In fact, you shouldn’t have ever come anywhere near me. Is that what this was?” I motioned between me and him. “You wanted me in your sick little club?”

  He hesitated for a second, which was all the reply I needed.

  My lips curled into a snarl as I boiled over. “Well, here’s your answer!” I threw my other shoe at him, smacking him square in the face.

  He barely blinked and just stood staring back at me, completely blank.