Summer Apart

by Amy Sparling

  He smiles and shifts on his feet. “This might be weird but, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t ask.”

  My eyes narrow and my mind thinks of every possible thing he might want to ask me—for a free pass to C&C, to join his pyramid scheme—everything except what he does ask. “Would you want to go on a date with me sometime?”

  My heart leaps into my throat. “Um,” I say as my eyes go wide. Did he really just ask me out? And why am I so surprised? I mean, it’s what I’ve been wanting ever since I started dressing up more. And here’s the weird thing—lately when someone had asked me out, it was easy for me to turn them down because I was so hung up on Park. But now Bayleigh’s words come back to me and in the split second it takes me to answer him, I’ve made my decision to follow her advice. “Sure,” I say. “That sounds fun.”

  Chapter 14

  When I get back to work, I’m not feeling like I’m floating on clouds the way I felt when Park first asked me on a date. I mean, I’m happy and all, but it’s just weird. I can’t imagine myself going out with another guy even though I’ve already decided that’s exactly what I should do. It just doesn’t feel the way it should feel when a cute guy asks you out.

  After giving Ollie his coffee and hearing his praises about how I’m such a great employee, I duck under the front counter and look inside my purse. Sure enough, my phone is glowing with a new text message. Since I didn’t have my phone with me, I had given Mark my number and told him to text me so I’d have his.

  Mark: Hope this wasn’t a fake number to ditch me…

  I know it’s a little messed up to get excited by the fact that a guy thinks I’m cute enough to have given him a fake number, but I’m excited anyway. I type out a reply.

  Me:Nope, it’s me, Becca.

  Mark: Awesome. Can’t wait for tomorrow.

  Me: What’s tomorrow?

  Mark: I’m hoping it’s the day you’re free for dinner and a movie…

  This might be completely lame, but the fact that this guy I barely know just used the correct “you’re”, in a text message no less, kind of makes me like him a thousand times more than I did just one minute ago.

  Even better, tomorrow is Sunday and I am off work. I tell him I am free tomorrow and he says he’ll pick me up at six. But the idea of having a guy who isn’t Park show up to take me on a date and meet my mom and everything makes me sick to my stomach. So I tell him I’ll meet him at the movie theater.

  Mark: Meet me at the Cinema 18?

  Me: Sure. See you then.

  I try not to think about how the last several movies I saw at the Cinema 18 was with Park. I also try not to think about how very similar the name Mark is to the very same person I’m trying to forget.

  Bayleigh doesn’t answer her phone on Sunday morning when I try to call her so I can freak out about my date. Strangely, when I don’t have anyone to hear me freak out, I don’t freak out as much. Instead, I spend the morning painting two more canvasses and then I get really ballsy and take photos of them. You know…just in case I ever decide to sell them online…

  I wait until five o’clock to start getting ready for my first date with Mark. The cinema is a fifteen minute drive from my house so I’ve only left myself forty-five minutes to get ready and I’m not sure if that’s because I am a confident woman who knows I shouldn’t have to spend hours just to please a man, or if I’m just not putting much effort in because I don’t expect to get anything out of it.

  It’s just a date, after all.

  With a guy who probably isn’t Prince Charming.

  But at least I’m putting myself out there, right?

  Mom believes the lie that I’m meeting some friends at the movies and that I’ll probably be home well before midnight. She doesn’t even ask who the friends are, and that’s just a testament to how much she believes and trusts me.

  My hands don’t even shake as I arrive at the movie theater and step out of my car, wondering where I’ll run into Mark. Is it a good thing to be one hundred percent not nervous when you’re on a first date? Is that what true love is supposed to feel like? Because I feel that way now. This isn’t the craziest thing in the world, after all. It’s just a simple date. If it doesn’t go well then I haven’t lost anything and if it does go well…well I’ll think about that later.

  Yep. I’m feeling awesome as I trek across the parking lot toward the theater’s massive entrance. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I glance around wondering if Mark can see me from wherever he’s calling. There are too many people standing around the ticket booth, so I can’t tell if he’s one of them. I take out my phone and go to answer it. And then my heart stops.

  It isn’t Mark calling me. I stop right there in the parking lot, where someone could easily drive right over me. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I even turn the phone over, then look at it once again, hoping I saw the first letter of the caller’s name wrong.

  But it’s there, plain as day in the pixels of my phone screen.

  Park is calling.

  Chapter 15

  A car honks and I jump. I look up to find a man in an SUV staring at me over his steering wheel, his arms flailing around gesturing for me to get the hell out of the road. My expression is blank as I force myself to take a few steps out of the way and then the man speeds by in annoyance, flipping me his middle finger as he passes. I don’t care about any of that.

  Park just called me.

  After two months of silence, he called out of the blue. Maybe it was an accident. I watch the phone screen, waiting, hoping, for a new voicemail message. After a few moments, nothing has appeared on the screen.

  “Hey there,” a familiar voice says. I look up and find Mark jogging toward me wearing a clean outfit of jeans and a black button-up long-sleeved shirt. “I already bought our tickets, so there’s no need to wait in line.”

  “Oh, thanks,” I say with what I hope is a genuine smile. I shake my head to clear it but no amount of mental or physical shaking is helping me get Park out of my mind. What an asshole. How could he do this to me? Two months of radio silence and one week of me finally feeling like I am totally and completely over him, and then he calls as if he had some psychic ability to tell that I was going on a date with someone new. Now my entire afternoon is ruined.

  Luckily, Mark doesn’t seem to notice that my mind is somewhere far away from here. “I hope you like the movie. I didn’t want to be cheap and go to the Cinema six down the street. That place is crappy.”

  I nod. The Cinema six sells half-price movie tickets but what you save in price you make up for by sitting in raggedy old chairs and walking on super sticky floors. Park and I went there once to see a movie that wasn’t playing in the nicer theater. Park doesn’t ever worry about money. It was never a topic worth bringing up when we went to the movies together. Of course Mark isn’t a professional motocross racer so I guess it’s extra sweet that he took me to the nice theater. Trying to look on the bright side of things, I decide to give him extra bonus points in my mind. “That was really sweet of you to get my ticket, thank you,” I say with a smile I have to practically sew into my face. Forcing my happiness right now is the hardest thing I’ve ever done at a movie theater.

  “Should we go in?” I ask. It’s weird looking at my date from eye level. Park was always so much taller than I was.

  Mark shakes his head and reaches into his pocket. “I need a smoke first.”

  “Oh okay,” I say, watching him take out a cigarette and light it up. Inwardly I’m cringing. A guy who smokes? Gross. Couldn’t he have just waited until after our date to do such a filthy habit?

  We lean against the outside wall of the theater for what feels like hours as he puffs away on his cigarette, asking me random questions about myself. By the third time the smoke accidently blows in my face and he apologizes for, I am finally convinced that Mark will not be my next true love.

  I kind of don’t even want to go through the rest of the date. But I’m also not going to b
e rude to him and he already has the tickets, so I tell myself to suck it up and go on with the date. It’s not the worst thing in the world, right? And it would have been a whole lot better if I didn’t have a cell phone in my pocket right now, driving me crazy with its one missed call.

  When the movie is over, I do something really bad. I clench my stomach, squish up my face, and lie.

  “I’m so sorry to ruin our date tonight, but I’m starting to feel a little sick.”

  “Oh no,” he says, his eyes peering into mine with worry. “Do you think it was the popcorn?”

  I shake my head and then shrug. “I don’t know. I just…I don’t really want to risk eating dinner when I feel so bad. Could we maybe finish this another time?” And just like that, the lie got even bigger. I am so not finishing this another time. Not only was the movie awkward because I’m pretty sure he kept trying to hold my hand across the armrest, but he had to leave in the middle of the movie to take another smoke break. When he came back, he reeked of the stale stench of smoke and I had to breathe into my sleeve for the rest of the movie.

  “Sure thing,” Mark says, placing his hand on my lower back as we walk out of the theater. “I hope you get better soon.”

  If this were Park instead of Mark, and if I were actually sick instead of faking sick, I would have leaned into his arm as it wrapped around me, letting my head fall on his shoulder as we walked. The scent of his cologne, mixed with the soap he uses in the shower would have lulled me into a calm serenity. Instead, I’m walking uncomfortably close to a guy I barely know and he reeks of smoke and popcorn butter.

  This can’t possibly be what Bayleigh was talking about when she told me to settle.

  Mark walks me across the parking lot to where my car is parked, and once I push the unlock button on my keys and see my headlights light up, a wave of relief washes over me. This terrible date is almost over and I am this close to being in the safety of my car, which smells like mountain spring air freshener.

  “Get home safely,” Mark says. He steps in front of me and pulls open the car door for me.

  “Thanks, you too.”

  I lean into my car, drop my purse in the passenger seat and stand back up so I can proceed with the awkward first date hug. Just a few seconds left and I’ll finally be done with this.

  The moment I turn around, my stomach clenches up and flips over. Because the first thing I see is Mark, leaning in close, way too close, with his hands reaching toward me. Before I can move or dodge or swerve to avoid what’s happening, Mark grabs my arms and kisses me. I freeze—like a deer in headlights. I don’t stop him and I don’t move backward like I want to. I just stand here, letting it happen to me because I don’t want him to feel bad.

  He is cute and all, and he was trying very hard to make the date fun and to get to know me. But as I stand here, my back pressed against my car, my lips being gently pried apart by two lips that taste like an ash tray, all I want to do is gag. This is not at all like kissing Park.

  When it’s over, he gives me this sideways smile, like he’s been stricken lovesick from my kiss. A few seconds pass and his eyebrows furrow. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” I say, a little too eagerly. “Just…sick.”

  His warm hand slides behind my neck and he pulls me toward him, placing a kiss on my forehead. “You take care of yourself, and I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Okay,” I manage. Now I’m feeling like I’m going to throw up for real.

  Chapter 16

  Sometimes you have days that are so bad, and your emotions have been on overdrive for too long, that eventually you hit a breaking point. You’re at the top of the meter in your heart, slipping across the red warning line that means you’re feeling too damn much today. I’ve never reached that point in my life. Not until my drive home.

  The moment my car pulls out of the parking lot and heads toward my house, I burst into tears. Every single second of that date was soured by the bittersweet memories of my days with Park.

  I know Bayleigh had the best intentions for me, but maybe I’m never supposed to find true love. Hell, I’m not even supposed to date around and have fun with it. Maybe my time for love has come and passed because the one person on this earth who is my soul mate is also a player who lives too damn far away.

  I wait until I’m at a red light and then call Bayleigh, putting the phone on speaker so I can keep driving. Last time I called her because I was upset, I ended up driving there and seeing Park. So tonight, for the sake of playing it safe—I’ll just keep my talks with Bayleigh via phone only.

  She doesn’t answer. Great.

  Halfway home, I realize that I’m actually pretty hungry because I didn’t eat much of the popcorn at the movie, due to not wanting to share germs with Mark’s hand. I pull into a McDonald’s and order a cheeseburger and fries. Then, like the loser that I am, I drive through the line and then park in a parking spot. It’s too awkward to eat inside the restaurant by myself, and if I wait until I get home then my fries will be cold.

  I sit here in my car, eating fry after fry and wondering if this is what my life will be like from now on. Me, alone, with food for comfort. Bayleigh texts me back, and I welcome the distraction.

  Bayleigh: Sorry I couldn’t answer. On my anniversary date with Jace so I snuck away to text you so I wouldn’t be rude to him. Love you!

  I look at the date. August 9th. How could I forget my own best friend’s first anniversary? My head falls back against the headrest, a single fry hanging out of my mouth. I am such a shitty friend. I pull myself together and text back.

  Me: Just calling to say happy first! Love you! Tell Jace hi!

  I figure all the exclamation marks will be enough proof for her to think I’m happy and that I wasn’t lying just now. This is her night and she deserves to feel loved. The last thing she needs is for me to ruin her night by complaining about my stupid love life.

  While I’m staring at my phone, I scroll back through the call log and my heart tightens when I see Park’s name. He called me a little over two hours ago and never left a voicemail or a follow-up text. Maybe it was an accident. He probably meant to call another girl he’s dating.

  Just as I’m staring at the phone screen, it lights up again.

  Park is calling.

  If I think about this too much, I’ll lose my nerve and miss the call. So I swallow my fear, and answer the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Where are you?”

  The sound of my own heart racing in my chest nearly muffles out his words. “I’m at the McDonald’s by my house.”

  “Are you alone?” he asks quickly, followed by, “Never mind. I don’t care. Stay there, I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “Wha—” I begin, but I’m cut off by the phone call ending. That was weird. And now I am both crazy excited and crazy terrified. Why was he acting like that? Is something wrong? Why is he in Texas?

  I quickly shove the rest of my fries in my mouth and crumple up the food bag, tossing it on the floor in my back seat. Then I pull down the visor mirror and check out my reflection. It’s not as bad as it could be, I guess. At least I’m still wearing makeup from my date and my hair is pretty good.

  Park’s truck pulls into the McDonald’s parking lot. He parks next to me and suddenly I’m so nervous I think I might pass out right here in the front seat of my car. When he walks toward me, I push open my door and beg my shaky legs to cooperate when I try to stand up.

  He’s changed in the weeks since I’ve seen him. His jeans are tighter in the thighs, and he’s wearing a motocross shirt I’ve seen before, only know it’s budging around his biceps and chest. If my knees weren’t already weak from the nerves, they’d be practically collapsing as I take in the sight of something I hadn’t thought was possible: Park got hotter.

  “Hey, Becca.” He runs a hand through his hair as he stares down at me, letting his elbow hover in the air a moment while he grips the back of his neck. I’ve always loved his forearm
s, the way his veins stick out when he flexes. Now, the effect is doubled.

  “Hi, Park,” I say, gnawing on my bottom lip.

  He takes a step closer to me. “You look beautiful. As always.”

  I swallow, feeling blood rush to my cheeks. “You look…big.”

  He laughs and glances down at himself for a moment. “I’ve been working out a lot,” he admits, taking another step toward me. My legs might seriously turn to mush any second now. I back against my car, keeping the door open as a barrier between us. I’m afraid if there wasn’t a massive piece of metal in front of me, I might dive straight into Park’s arms and beg him to take me right here on the concrete.

  “I can tell,” I say quietly, letting my eyes rake over his gorgeous sculpted body.

  He shrugs. “It’s the only thing I can do to avoid going crazy. Working out and racing.”

  “Why would you go crazy?” I ask. My fingers tighten over the top of the car door. Surely he can see my heart pounding through my chest. I watch his chest, watch the muscles tighten under his shirt as he takes another step forward. I can’t see if his heart is racing, but I hope it is. Otherwise, I’m getting the wrong idea about what’s going on right now.

  “Becca,” he says, stopping to inhale a deep breath. “I can’t live without you. I can’t be without you. These last weeks without have killed me. I learned things about myself that I had no idea existed—like how I am completely and totally in love with you.”

  I realize my mouth has been open this entire time, so I close it. Park takes one final step forward, taking my hand and gently pulling me to the left until I’m clear of my car’s door. Carefully, hesitantly, his other hand slides around my waist. As much as I want to wrap my arms around his neck, I keep my hands firmly at my sides. Park still has explaining to do, and I want to hear every word of it.