Reforming Elizabeth

by Lorin Grace

  Lucy stepped out of the door and came to stand by Samuel. “Can you come back in for a few minutes at least?”

  Elizabeth took an uncertain step toward them. Lucy gave her husband a little push. “Samuel is going to go help Sarah finish the weeding.”

  Samuel gave Elizabeth a nod before stepping off the porch and heading for the garden.

  Lucy beckoned for Elizabeth to quicken her steps, her smile more welcoming than Elizabeth expected.

  Lucy shut the door behind them and gestured for Elizabeth to return to the rocker.

  “Elizabeth, you need to know I forgave you long ago.”

  “Bu—”

  Lucy held up her hand. “I know you didn’t ask me to, but I learned I needed to forgive others so I could find contentment in my life. I needed to forgive Mr. Simms first. He wasn’t a kind father. Then I needed to forgive the man who sired me.”

  Elizabeth tried to control her expression.

  “Most of the town folk who lived here during the war know about it. Your rumor on my birth was more based in fact than you know. But my point is, I forgave a man who was dead, and a man my mother never knew so I could have peace. They didn’t need to ask me. I forgave you in a similar way. I wanted to talk to you, but you disappeared after Christmas. So I wrote it in a letter. With all the gossip accompanying your disappearance, I wanted you to know that I held no grudge.”

  “Gossip?”

  Lucy pinked. “Yes, gossip. What else did you think would happen when you disappeared?” Lucy didn’t give Elizabeth the chance to answer. “Of course, your father refused to give me an address. He offered to mail it, but—” Lucy shrugged her shoulders. She took a folded and sealed paper from her writing desk and turned it over in her hands. “I wrote my forgiveness here. I never expected you to come begging my forgiveness when I wrote it, so much of what I wrote—” Lucy trailed off, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. “But seeing you, I think you need more than my forgiveness. You need to forgive yourself. You have already been seeking God’s forgiveness. I saw the difference in your demeanor last Sabbath. And I know you have visited every woman in town our age, looking for theirs.” Lucy held out the letter.

  Elizabeth took it and set it on her lap. She traced her name written on the front, giving herself a moment to call back the tears that threatened. “Thank you.” The lump returned. Out of all the women she’d visited, Lucy—the one she’d most consistently abused and embarrassed over the years—was the only one to offer forgiveness.

  Elizabeth went to stand and found herself wrapped in Lucy’s arms. Lucy’s tears mingled with hers. After a moment, they let each other go.

  “I get so weepy.” Lucy wiped her tears with a corner of her apron, then stilled. Her hand flew to her abdomen. She looked up, eyes wide. “He moved.” A giggle escaped her, and her other hand covered her mouth.

  Unsure what to say, Elizabeth merely smiled. What would it be like to carry a man’s child when that man loved you like Samuel loved and protected Lucy? She would never know. She might well carry Abner’s child one day, but she doubted they would ever have a relationship like Lucy and Samuel.

  Tears filled her eyes again. She clutched the letter to her breast and whispered a good-bye. No one stopped her this time.

  By the light of her lamp, Elizabeth broke the seal on the letter Lucy handed her. After eating supper with her parents and Abner, she figured nothing could be worse today. The look of awe Lucy’s eyes held when she’d felt the babe move would be forever etched in her mind.

  An unbidden prayer went up. Please help me to feel that way when I carry Abner’s child. She shivered. Abner looked at her much the way Mr. Butler had. He would do his best to make sure she carried his child. She’d dodged his kisses so far, pleading for some time to get to know him, hoping one day her skin wouldn’t feel like little ants crawled all over it each time he touched her.

  Lucy’s letter did not repeat the gossip that reached her ears, only reassured her she knew it was not true, as did Samuel.

  … Forgiveness is not something one gives because they are asked. It is something one gives because it is needed.

  I know you will probably never ask, but know all is forgiven. Including the little mouse in my desk. As for the mess with Samuel, how could you have believed we were really married when I myself did not? The situation was fraught with oddities.

  I hope someday you will find a man like Samuel. He finds all the good in me and makes me a better person. You may have tried to hide some of the good in you, but I am sure there is so much you have to share.

  Your friend,

  Lucy S. Wilson

  PS. Samuel forgives you too.

  Elizabeth set down the letter and cried.

  Thirty-Two

  The signed intention certificate in hand, along with a letter to Elizabeth’s father from Magistrate Adams, Gideon rode north. He hadn’t gone a mile before remembering Elizabeth’s dress. Even if she didn’t accept his proposal, she would need it.

  “Come on, Jordan, back to Mina’s.”

  An empty kitchen and silence greeted him. Gideon checked the other rooms.

  Mina lay on the parlor floor, her eyes wide and staring.

  She blinked.

  Gideon knelt by her side. “Mina?”

  The only answer he received was a moan.

  Seeing no blood, he carried her to her bed, then smoothed her hair.

  Apoplexy.

  He prayed he was wrong. Lizzy would be devastated to not be here. How quickly could he retrieve her? Would there be time? The doctor would know better. He ran next door to send one of the Purdy boys for Doctor Whiting, who indicated he would be doing rounds in the area as they left the magistrates chambers.

  When he returned to the room, Mina gave him a wild look and tried to move her mouth. The left side opened, but the right side remained slack.

  “Quiet now. The doctor is on his way.”

  “Zzzzztthh.” She raised her left arm and grabbed his.

  Gideon was surprised by the strength of her grasp. He patted her hand and tried more soothing words.

  “Gaa zzzzth.” She tried to push him this time.

  “You want me to go get Elizabeth?”

  Mina’s eyes lit up.

  “I’ll go later.”

  “Nnnnnwww.”

  “You want me to go now?”

  She squeezed his hand.

  “I’ll wait for the doctor, then I will leave.”

  Mrs. Purdy entered the room.

  “Will you sit with Mina? I need to gather a few things. She wants me to go get Elizabeth.” Mrs. Purdy didn’t need to know he’d already set out to do that very thing earlier.

  He hurried upstairs and grabbed Elizabeth’s dress. In the barn, he mulled over hitching Jordan to Mina’s buggy. Bringing Lizzy back riding double on Jordan wasn’t an option. Even if it was an excuse to hold her close. He banished the thought.

  Mina’s buggy wouldn’t stand hard riding. His brother lived less than fifteen miles south of Elizabeth’s home. If he rode Jordan hard, then switched horses and borrowed a buggy at his brother’s, he could be at Lizzy’s by suppertime. Hopefully Jordan would rest enough for the return journey.

  Gideon had just finished adding the dress to Jordan’s saddle bag when Dr. Whiting pulled into the lane. Staying only long enough to have his suspicions confirmed, Gideon started north.

  Thirty-Three

  The knock came an hour before they were to sit down for supper. Elizabeth bit back a groan. Abner was not supposed to come tonight. With four days left, she wanted to savor the last few days of just being herself.

  The maid appeared. “Miss Elizabeth, there is a man here to see you.”

  Elizabeth descended halfway down the stairs before she r
ealized the maid had not given a name. A voice came from her father’s office.

  She knew that voice.

  Impossible.

  Elizabeth slipped into the room and froze.

  Both men turned and looked at her. She felt for the doorframe, afraid she might faint.

  “Gideon.”

  “Lizzy.” He stepped forward, grasped her elbow, and led her to a chair.

  “Her name is Miss Garrett.” The magistrate tried to step in between them. “Who gave you leave to call her otherwise?”

  Gideon knelt before her and took her hands in his. Elizabeth wanted to smooth down his windblown hair, but she left her hands in his. For the first time in days, she felt like herself again.

  “Mina is ill. She is asking for you. Will you come?”

  “Aunt Mina? What—” A sob threatened to cut off her breath.

  “Dr. Whiting thinks it is apoplexy. I found her this morning. She begged me to fetch you. Will you come?”

  “Of course.” Gideon here? I must be dreaming, but Aunt Mina!

  “No, she can’t.”

  Elizabeth looked at her father. “But Aunt Mina needs me.”

  “You are getting married in four days. It takes a day and a half to get there. You can’t possibly get there and back.” Redness crept up her father’s face.

  Gideon stood and addressed both father and daughter. “Then we should leave immediately. I have my brother’s curricle. We can get to his house tonight. Then we can leave at dawn. By this time tomorrow, we’ll be with Mrs. Richards.”

  “My trunk is packed. For my mar—I can be ready in a few minutes. Should we eat before we go? Supper is almost ready.” Elizabeth stood, addressing only Gideon.

  “Yes.” Gideon reached for Elizabeth’s hand.

  “No!” Ebenezer’s cane hit the floor with a resounding thump. “You can’t go. What about Abner?”

  “Aunt Mina needs me!”

  Rebecca entered the room and looked from one face to the other.

  “Father, please. I need to go.”

  “Sir, time is of the essence. If we are to get to my brother’s tonight, we need to leave within the hour.”

  Rebecca gasped and fluttered her hands uselessly. “Elizabeth? You are not planning on leaving with this man? Unchaperoned?” Her mother’s voice rose in panic.

  “Aunt Mina. I must go.” Elizabeth struggled with the words as the gravity of the situation settled around her heart. If only Gideon needed her too.

  Her father turned to Gideon. “Mr. Frost, as a former clergyman you should see how this would look to travel unaccompanied, and that little buggy of yours won’t hold a chaperone.”

  Gideon looked from father to daughter to mother and back again. He turned to Elizabeth, once again taking her hands in his. “Lizzy.” His gaze locked with hers.

  Overwhelmed with the feeling that he was trying to communicate something very important, Elizabeth sucked in a breath. Could it be that Gideon was looking at her the way Samuel looked at Lucy? The way Aunt Mina looked when she spoke of her beloved Henry?

  “Marry me?” The whispered question hung between them. “Please?”

  “Yes.”

  Gideon leaned in to kiss her, but Ebenezer pulled Gideon back before their lips touched. “Just what do you think you are doing?”

  “Sealing my proposal and her answer.”

  “But—but she is getting married.” Rebecca fanned herself.

  “Yes, to me.” Gideon laid a protective arm around Elizabeth, pulling her into his side.

  “I have an agreement with Abner Sidewall. She is marrying him in four days.” Mr. Garrett thumped his cane again.

  “I think, sir, you are correct. You have an agreement with Mr. Sidewall. One you made and your daughter is obeying. But has anyone ever asked her if she wanted to marry him?”

  Elizabeth settled deeper into Gideon’s side. He’d defended her.

  Rebecca answered first. “No. This isn’t her choice.”

  “Magistrate, by the laws of the Commonwealth, isn’t your daughter allowed, by statute, to accept or reject her husband?”

  “Technically.” Ebenezer took a step back.

  “She accepted my proposal.” He turned to Elizabeth. “Am I correct in assuming you never accepted Mr. Sidewall’s proposal?”

  “He never proposed.” In Gideon’s arms Elizabeth found the strength to answer for herself.

  Gideon turned back to the magistrate. “Please, sir. Marry us.”

  “Father, please?”

  “But, Abner. Your dowry. He is leaving.”

  “Sir, I don’t want the money. Let Mr. Sidewall keep it.”

  Elizabeth laid her hand on Gideon’s arm and looked up into his face. “But you do need it to get a shop.”

  “It will work out. Let him have the money.” The softness of his answer and the warmth in his eyes made her believe she could live without money for quite some time.

  Elizabeth’s breath caught. She looked at her father. “Please, you know Abner is more interested in the money.”

  Rebecca went to her husband’s side. She didn’t speak but looked at him for a long moment, then turned to Elizabeth. “Will you be happier with a poor man or a rich man?”

  “I will be more content with a kind man. If he happens to be poor, then we will get by. After all, I can cook now.” She turned to Gideon and smiled—a real one, not the ones she’d practiced so often in her mirror.

  He smiled back. “And bleach linen.”

  Rebecca whispered in her husband’s ear.

  “Very well.”

  Elizabeth hugged Gideon and gave a tiny squeal.

  “Stop! Let me finish! I’ll have my clerk post your intentions, but you can’t marry for more than two weeks, and you are not taking my daughter unchaperoned anyplace.” A smug look covered her father’s face. Elizabeth turned to Gideon.

  Gideon reached into his pocket. “We already have our intentions certified, and I carry a letter from Magistrate Adams of Stoughton. I believe he is known to you.”

  Ebenezer snatched the documents. His face fell as he read them. Finally, he slumped in his desk chair and pointed to a shelf. “Mrs. Garrett, hand me that book.”

  Rebecca moved to a brown leather volume.

  “No, the little one. Freeman’s Massachusetts Justice.” Ebenezer thumbed through the pages. “I can’t find a legal ground to stop you from getting married. But Reverend Woods will need to perform the ceremony, as I refuse to.”

  Rebecca let out a gasp.

  “His house is across the street. I suggest you go talk him into this, Mr. Frost. Good luck. He isn’t one to perform marriages willy-nilly.”

  Unless you are Lucy and Samuel. Elizabeth kept the thought to herself. She wouldn’t mind having something in common with the couple. And the way Gideon looked at her, she might have more in common than she thought possible.

  Gideon leaned down to drop a kiss on Elizabeth’s lips, but the sound of her mother’s garbled squeak caused Elizabeth to step back.

  “Later,” he whispered. “Oh, you might need this.” Gideon handed his bride the muslin-wrapped dress that lay on the bench.

  Elizabeth looked out her window toward the reverend’s house for the seventh time. Her mother and maid nudged her back to the dressing table. The blue dress turned out exactly what she envisioned.

  “This dress is so modern. Are you sure it is what you want to wear?”

  “Yes, Mother. I made it myself after a fashion plate only recently arrived from France. I saw a couple like it in the shop windows in Boston.”

  Male voices filtered up from below.

  Rebecca turned to the maid. “Go see if they are ready.”

  Left alone with her mother, E
lizabeth wanted one last hug. “I love you, Mother.”

  Rebecca dabbed at her eyes. “There was so much I was going to tell you in the next couple of days. To prepare you for—”

  Elizabeth placed her fingers on her mother’s lips. “I am prepared enough. Gideon has always been kind, and I want to be with him.”

  At the maid’s knock, they opened the door and walked down the stairs, arm in arm.

  Reverend Wood sat in the parlor talking to the magistrate. Gideon stood nearby. He noticed them first. His smile was quick. He cleared his throat, ending the conversation.

  The reverend crossed the room. “Elizabeth, are you sure about this?”

  “Yes. I love him.”

  “What of your commitment to Mr. Sidewall?”

  “That is my father’s agreement. No one ever asked me.”

  “Very well. I understand you must hurry back to your aunt’s. Let’s begin.”

  Reverend Woods finished the ceremony and nodded to Gideon.

  Just as Gideon’s lips lowered and Elizabeth lifted to her toes to meet his kiss, the front door slammed against the wall. They both stepped back in dismay.

  “What is this? You promised me the money!” Abner Sidewall advanced on the magistrate.

  Reverend Woods rushed forward and stopped him with a restraining hand. “Shall we take this conversation to the magistrate’s study?” The reverend followed Mr. Sidewall and Elizabeth’s father into the office.

  Gideon gave her a little shrug. “We should hurry so we can get to my brother’s before it grows too dark.”

  Rebecca supervised the loading of the trunk and a basket of food from Cook’s kitchen.

  Elizabeth stood nervously with Gideon, waiting for the men to emerge from the office. She needed to say good-bye but didn’t want to linger. Mina waited. On the other side of the door, the shouting dwindled.

  Then the door opened and Abner emerged. The triumphant smile on his face scared Elizabeth. The man stopped before Gideon. “Good luck with the little strumpet. I got my money. Wouldn’t have minded taming her, but you should get something out of the deal.”