“Look,” said Nabila. “There’s a river right over there!”
Past a few lawn chairs and a croquet set on a wide field of grass, a river ran past us.
“Here, Fishy Fishy!” Shane yelled out to the river.
A bird squawked in the distance.
“It would appear that everyone has abandoned this retirement home,” said Director Z.
“But we know they’re still somewhere,” I said. “And I still feel like we’re close. I just don’t know where to look. Maybe we need to ask Diblo for more clues.”
The small monkey jumped off of my shoulder, screeched, and pointed out at the hole in the wall.
“Yes, yes, we know they went that way,” I said. “Pietro, do you think you can smell where they are now?”
Pietro, still a wolf, ran up to the hole and took a big long SNIFFFFF with his wet dog nose. He pawed over to me and shook his head.
Again, the monkey pointed out at the hole in the wall and screeched.
“I’m getting sick of this little guy,” said Gordon.
“You’re getting sick of him?” I asked. “Has he been breathing down your neck this whole time? I think he pooped down my back.”
Shane came over to have a look. “Nope,” he said. “Just Venus flytrap guts. You must have gotten them on you when you stabbed the killer plant.”
EEEEEEEK! EEEEEEEEEEE!
“Go on, monkey, go perch on Gordon,” I said.
“Wait, it’s pointing at something!” said Ben. “Look!”
I looked where Ben was pointing, and that’s when I saw it. Shane saw it, too.
“Awesome,” Shane said. “I knew we’d find someplace right out of Tomb Raider!”
On the shore upriver from us stood a huge stone ruin. It was so covered in jungle vegetation that I hadn’t even noticed it before.
“That looks like a nice place to retire,” said Clarice.
“Yes,” I said confidently. “Yes. That’s where they’re hiding out.”
“I can’t take much more of this jungle stuff,” said Gordon. “I like it better in this clean facility.”
“I don’t really think I’d call it clean,” said Nabila. “Unless you don’t mind the blood on the walls and the boars running wild.”
“All I’m saying is, I saw a shower back in one of the rooms,” Gordon said. “And I could really use one. I’ve got to wash my greasy face. Look, I have another zit popping up right on the tip of my nose.”
“I could really use a manicure, now that you mention it,” said Grigore. He inspected his long, dirty nails. “My cuticles are a mess.”
“We don’t have any time for showers or manicures,” I said. “It’s going to be sunset soon, and who knows what we’re going to have to fight to get into that place—I’d rather do it during the day.”
“All right, you heard the man,” said Shane, pretending to be a drill sergeant. “Let’s get moving.” He marched through the hole.
The hole was so large that we could go through two by two. The cool dark of the facility gave way to the heat of the open field.
I reached up to my shoulder and realized the monkey hadn’t jumped back on.
I peered back in through the hole and saw the monkey climbing on the robot.
“Come on,” I said. “You don’t have time to play with the robot.”
It howled in disappointment and then joined the rest of us out in the sun.
“Oh man, I think I’m going to melt,” said Ben. “Where’s the shady jungle when you need it?”
“At least we can see what’s creeping up on us,” said Shane. “Which right now seems to be a whole lot of nothing.”
“There are a lot of holes out here, though,” said Gordon. “What’s that all about?”
“Zombie meerkats?” asked Nabila.
“Watch your ankles, people!” yelled Shane, still in the lead.
We made it to the edge of the plain. The ruins loomed ahead of us in the jungle, tucked right up against the river. The old black stones seemed impenetrable. The trees were lined with huge bats that hung upside down like giant furry fruit.
“Something tells me they’re not going to want to let us pass,” said Shane.
“Let me go talk vith them,” said Grigore, and with a POP, he turned into a bat.
He approached a smaller group of bats with a SQUEAK. Almost immediately, the bats stretched out their wings and swooped at him.
“They’re at least five times his size!” said Shane. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “Grigore, get back here!”
Grigore didn’t need to be told twice. He ducked two attacks and then POPPED back into human form about ten feet off of the ground.
FWAP.
He hit the ground and bounced a few times. His forehead bled terribly.
“Were you bitten?” asked Pietro as he ran up to him. “Are you going to become a double-vampire?”
“There isn’t such a thing, and they veren’t vampires,” said Grigore. “They vere fruit bats. It’s strange that they’re being so aggressive. They’re usually pretty friendly. It’s like something’s possessing them.”
“Can you negotiate with them?” asked Director Z.
“Vhat do you think I vas doing up there?” asked Grigore, frustrated. “Asking vhat time it vas?”
“I’m sorry, old man,” said Director Z. He pulled a white handkerchief out of his pocket and began to dab at Grigore’s head.
“Save that rag for later,” said Grigore. “It’ll make a nice snack vonce it’s dried out.”
“Mmmm, blood jerky,” said Gordon.
“Maybe we could swim up the river a bit and then come up to the other side of the ruin,” I suggested.
“What about Fishy Fishy?” asked Shane.
“You’re right,” I said. “Ugh! If these monsters really want me to help them, they should make it a little bit easier!” I kicked the ground in frustration and got my foot caught in one of the many holes. “Stupid holes!”
I had to sit down on my rump in order to pull my leg out of the hole. When I did, I saw how deep it went.
A lightbulb went off in my head.
“Twenty-Three,” I said, “I need your help. Are you up for a special mission?”
“Always!” he said, and scampered over to my side. “What is it?”
“I want you to crawl deep into this series of meerkat tunnels and see if one leads to the ruin,” I said.
“Even if one doesn’t, I’m sure I could find the closest one and dig the rest of my way there,” he replied. “I’ll do it!”
He quickly jumped into the hole that my foot had gotten stuck in.
“Wait!” I said. “Once you get there, you’ve got to convince the monsters in the ruins to let us past the bats.”
“Tell them residents are seeking shelter,” said Director Z. “They can’t say no to that. Don’t mention that Chris is a Director.”
“Got it,” said Twenty-Three.
Twenty-Three disappeared under the ground.
We waited.
No Turning Back
It had been a whole hour since Twenty-Three had headed underground, and the sun had almost set on yet another crazy jungle day.
“Maybe I should turn into a mist and try to float past the bats,” said Grigore.
“Why didn’t you think of that before?” I said. “Twenty-Three is probably still clawing at a rock and getting nowhere. Can you turn into a rat and see how he’s doing?”
“No need,” said Twenty-Three. He walked out from the jungle under the fruit bats.
Behind him, the jungle shook and shimmied, and a huge fruit bat the size of a professional football player walked through the green, his wings wide open in welcome.
“My friends!” he said. “It’s so nice to have you here. I’m
sorry that my cousins kept you from approaching. They usually only do that to humans. Any humans here today?”
Shane was about to say something, but Director Z motioned for him to zip it.
“All right, then!” said Fruit Bat Man. “Come on inside. My name’s François, and I’m one of the few of us up during the daytime. I keep watch over my cousins. Many of the residents are finishing their afternoon naps in preparation for another night on the town. Our leader, Tikoloshe, is too busy to meet with you right now, but I’m sure he’ll be happy to know our numbers have grown once again.”
“Do your numbers grow often?” asked Shane.
“Oh, yes,” said François. “We have new residents arrive from all over the world every month. But we have plenty of space—there’s still an entire wing of our new home that could be used. But who is here . . . hmmm . . . aside from our African residents—Mokele-mbembe, Kongamato, a few adzes, and many more—Rangda is here from Bali, we have a banshee from America—”
“Betty,” screeched Clarice excitedly.
“—a penanggalan from Malaysia, various European vampires and werewolves, a handful of zombies from South America . . .”
François continued his list as we walked up the massive stairs of the ruin into the main section of the building. He swung open a huge wooden door that creaked on rusty hinges. Inside, it was cool and inviting.
“Enter, please,” said François. “The others should be up to meet you shortly.”
“Now that we’re here,” I said, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Oh, I know,” said François. “You children are human, aren’t you? It took me a while to figure out, because these two look like zombies, with those terrible head wounds.” He pointed at Gordon and Ben.
“Hey!” said Gordon. “They’re just zits.”
“You certainly don’t look like the children from town,” said François. “Not that they’d be stupid enough to come here, anyway.” He turned to the monsters and Director Z. “Have you brought us a present?” he asked. “A little something to munch on?”
“A present, yes,” said Director Z. “But it’s not what you think.”
“I’m your new Director,” I said.
François threw back his head and laughed so hard a brick jiggled out of the ceiling and almost smooshed Twenty-Three.
“No, really,” I said. I held up my pendant. “Look.”
“We already have a Director,” said François. “Tikoloshe is our Director.”
“I’m sorry, Teek-oh-what?” asked Gordon.
“We don’t need you,” said François. “We don’t want you. Tikoloshe will make us strong. Tikoloshe has plans for us. He’s already given us freedom we never had at the old facility. We can run free and be who we want to be.”
My cheeks turned red with anger. We had come this far only to be laughed at and told off.
“Fine,” I said. “I came all this way to help you out, and you’re going to turn that help down? Fine by me. I’m outta here!”
I walked back down the stairs. After the third step, a white light filled my eyes, and my head split open with pain. I tumbled down to the bottom of the stairs, knocking the monkey off of my shoulder.
“Chris,” said Shane. “Are you okay?” He ran down to help me back up the stairs. The monkey followed.
“Just give me more armpit raisins,” I said to Gil. “Let me clear my head.”
“I told you,” said Director Z. “You have made a sacred oath. If you break that oath, dire consequences will ensue.”
“Can’t I take Gallow Manor, and you take whatever this place is?” I asked.
“It doesn’t work that way,” said Director Z. “Now that you’re here, you have to bring this retirement home to order. Only then will you be able to walk out of its doors. But you’ll have to return if you’re gone too long. You and this place are now forever connected.”
I couldn’t believe what Director Z said. How could I stay in this place forever? But before I could say anything, Director Z turned to François. “You have to let the children stay here,” he said.
“We have to do nothing,” said François. “Now get out of here.”
He picked me up and brought me to the door. My head exploded again.
“Argh!” I yelled. “It hurts! My brains are turning to liquid.”
“You can’t let him suffer like this.” Roy stepped forward.
“What do I care if your young friend suffers?” asked François. “He’s only a child, not one of us!”
The stars in my eyes were now blindingly bright. I felt like I was going to throw up my brain.
“What do you care if we take up the abandoned wing?” asked Nabila. “You said yourself that you have space to spare. And you know that having young children around will boost your monstrous powers.”
François walked back through the doorway. I was finally able to breathe again.
“True,” said François. “But why have a snack of power when Tikoloshe will soon bring us a feast?”
François headed for the door again.
“Wait,” I shouted. The sound of my own voice almost made me pass out, but I continued. “If Tikoloshe has the power to help you, why hasn’t he done it yet?”
François finally stopped. A puzzled look came over his face, and for the first time, it looked like he was questioning something. He threw me to the ground.
“Fine, stay if you like,” he grumbled at me. “But don’t expect any special treatment, and don’t you dare even think about giving us any kind of orders.”
He walked over to Roy and the others.
“As for my monster brethren,” he continued, “I shouldn’t have been so rude. Please make yourselves at home. It’s not a lot, but it’s better than the sterile facilities you first found yourselves in.” He put his arm around Roy’s shoulders. “You’ll absolutely love our tarantula beds. They’re so fuzzy and warm.”
“Oh, that’s okay.” Roy gulped. “I’m happy to sleep on the ground.”
“As you wish,” said François. “Now let’s go meet the others.”
The House of Eternal Rest
The door slowly creaked to a close.
BANG.
“Welcome to The House of Eternal Rest!” said François.
“You can check in, but you’ll never check out,” I mumbled.
“We’re gonna figure this out,” Shane said. “How’s your head?”
“Better, now that I’m inside,” I said.
François led us through the entryway. It seemed eerily quiet without the chatter of bugs and squawks of birds and monkeys. Even the monkey on my shoulder stayed quiet.
“It’s actually not as dreary in here as I thought it would be,” said Ben. “Only mildly mildewy. Nice and cool.”
“Only slightly drafty,” said Nabila.
“High ceilings, plenty of natural light,” said Shane.
“We’re still working on the natural-light issue,” said François. “The residents have been complaining. The only good thing about our previous facility was the fact that it was completely sealed off from sunlight.”
Suddenly, a dark figure dropped from the massive skylight in the center of the huge room. The room went dark, and there was a blast of cold air.
WHOOOOSH!
“Duck!” yelled Shane.
A massive, leathery creature flew down toward us.
SQUUUUUUUUAK!
My friends and I hit the floor. The monkey grabbed my head so hard, I thought my skull was going to crack. I moved his wrinkly little hand from my eye and saw Director Z and the monsters staring at the winged creature in wonder. It came within inches of their faces before flying back up to the ceiling.
“Vow,” said Grigore. “It’s the most ancient monster I’ve ever seen.”
“A
mazing,” agreed Pietro. “That wingspan must be at least fifteen feet!”
WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH.
The great flaps of the creature’s wings blew cool air into our faces.
“Good evening, Kongamato,” said François. “Enjoy your night!”
Kongamato flapped down the hallway toward the back of the building.
We stood up and brushed the moldy dust off of our clothes. The monkey shook his fist at Kongamato.
“Was that a pterosaur?” asked Ben.
“Some would say so,” said François. “Others might call him a hairless bat or bird—though I wouldn’t. We have a few other mysterious creatures like him—though they are all land-based.”
“Dinosaurs?” Shane said. “So this is Tomb Raider AND Jurassic Park?”
“Not exactly,” said François. “But close. Their ancestors were dinosaurs, and thousands of generations later, something between rhinos and cerapods, between bats and pterosaurs, roams the deepest jungles of the Congo. Monsters feared by the pygmy tribes that used to rule this land. Modern times have left very few. But they are here with us.”
“Heeeeeeeeyyyyy!” A tiny voice echoed through the cavernous room. “Let us out!”
François rolled his eyes and rushed into a small room next to the massive center room.
“These guys are so impatient,” François huffed.
“Which guys?” I asked. I couldn’t see anything in the room but a lantern that glowed red.
François walked over to the lantern and opened it up. Three very large fireflies buzzed out of it and hovered in front of us.
“Cool,” said Ben. “I’ve never seen a red firefly before.”
He stepped up to touch one.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” said François.
Before Ben could ask why, one of the fireflies exploded in a blast of light—
POP!
—and a crazed-looking old man appeared in front of us.
“Take that long again, François,” said the old man, “and I’ll break through the lantern.”
“Yeah,” two buzzy little voices added.
Zits from Python Pit #6 Page 6