“Talking fireflies?” asked Gordon.
“Adzes!” said Grigore.
“What?” I asked.
Before Grigore could answer, the crazy old firefly man opened his mouth with a snarl. “Ooooh, François, have you brought us a treat?”
The firefly man licked his very crooked but very fangy teeth. He looked deep into Nabila’s eyes.
“I’m a tasty, tasty treat!” yelled Nabila. Her arms flapped wildly, and she stumbled toward the old man. He opened his mouth wider.
“Enough!” yelled Director Z. He stepped in front of the old man.
As soon as the old man’s gaze was blocked from Nabila, she dropped like a sack of potatoes.
“I told you, don’t you dare try to give any orders around here,” said François.
“You told Chris that,” said Director Z. “You didn’t tell me. And even though this isn’t my retirement home, you have to respect me.”
POP! POP!
The two other fireflies flashed into crazy old humans. There was another man and a woman. They rushed over to Nabila.
“Did someone say something about a treat?” both of them said at the same time.
“I think it’s best if you find a meal in the cafeteria,” said François, and he led the three away from Nabila and out into the main room.
They turned as he shuffled them out, trying desperately to look into our eyes.
“Look away,” said Director Z.
“What did you say they were?” I asked Grigore.
“Adzes,” he replied. “Vampires from West Africa that assume the form of fireflies. When they’re captured and brought into a house by a victim, they have the ability to turn into humans.”
“And possess you,” said Director Z, helping Nabila off the floor. She was awake but groggy.
“Are you okay?” Ben asked.
“I think so,” said Nabila. “My head hurts a little.”
“Wow, we’re really seeing a different side of monsterdom,” said Shane. “Ancient monsters, new types of vampires, burly talking bats. Everything feels so new, just like when we started at Raven Hill Retirement Home.”
“Ah, those were the days,” said Pietro.
“So not all Earth monsters are like this?” asked Twenty-Three.
“No,” said Director Z. “But something doesn’t feel right. I don’t think they’re supposed to be like this. Those adzes were as old as Grigore was a few months ago, but they’re acting like teenagers, reckless and out of control. They’re filled with a strange energy of some sort.”
“I guess that’s why I was called,” I said.
“Friends!” yelled François from the doorway. “Come now, let’s continue the tour!”
“Keep your guard up,” Director Z whispered. “I don’t trust François. He goes from friendly to angry to friendly again in a flash, like he’s hiding something that he doesn’t know how to deal with. He’s out of control.”
Director Z turned to the door. “We’re coming!” he yelled.
I Pledge Allegiance to Tikoloshe
“Most of our facility—along with the residents—is deep underground,” said François. “However, there was one more thing I wanted to show you upstairs.”
We walked toward the back of the ruin, in the direction that the pterosaur had flown.
We passed a room with rock slabs laid out as tables. Around one table, the adzes hovered over something.
CRUNCH MUNCH MUNCH.
“That must be the cafeteria,” Ben said.
At the sound of Ben’s voice, the adzes’ heads popped up. With a smile, one looked at Nabila. “Hello, snackie!”
Nabila shuddered.
“Don’t bother the residents as they eat,” said François. “Let’s keep going.”
We passed other rooms in the narrow, cool hallway. There was nobody but us.
The end of the hallway led to another large room like the first we had encountered just past the entryway.
“Now we know how the pterosaur exited,” said Shane. “The back of the building is completely gone.”
A warm jungle breeze blew into the room. Vines crept in.
Ben craned his neck to look out at the jungle, which sloped up into a small hill. “I wish I could see another dinosaur,” he said.
Shane pointed up. “Perhaps you should look for a flyby,” Shane said. He turned to François. “I thought you said that you had something to show us upstairs.”
“There is one tower that remains,” said François.
We walked to the far side of the large, open room and came to a door set in the wall. François opened the door to reveal a spiral staircase.
“Up we go,” he said.
We slowly made our way up the spiral staircase. Open windows were chiseled into the stone, and no matter how high we got, still more green from the wild jungle outside crept in.
At the top of the tower was a small room that we could barely fit into.
“Did you bring us up here for the view?” asked Shane. “Because it’s pretty awesome!”
“Do enjoy the view while you’re here,” said François. “But there’s also a bit of business we need to discuss.”
“Business?” I asked.
“You must bow down to the shrine of Tikoloshe and pledge your allegiance,” said François. He stepped aside to reveal a small statue of a gremlin or troll with a wide grin. The statue was surrounded by candles and burning incense sticks.
“That’s one ugly statue,” whispered Shane.
A wind blew through the windows and made the candles flicker. The cloud of incense moved from the statue to Shane’s face.
Shane coughed twice, sneezed, and then . . .
“Arrrrrgh,” Shane yelled. “My nose!”
Shane doubled over in pain. His knees hit the floor. He cupped his nose, which was as red as Rudolph’s, and moaned.
“Shane!” I yelled, and moved forward to help my friend.
I lifted him up by his shoulders and swung his head back.
“Oh man!” I said. “Your nose is completely covered in zits!”
“I think they’re in my nostrils!” he moaned. “It hurts so bad. Make it stop.”
I held Shane in my arms as he dealt with the pain.
“Move away from the shrine, worms,” growled François. “Everyone must pledge allegiance.”
SLAM!
The door at the top of the stairs closed.
The monsters growled. Grigore hissed. The monkey screeched.
“We bow down to no one,” said Roy. He stepped up to François.
François opened his wings wide. “If it wasn’t for Tikoloshe, none of us would be here! And if you don’t bow down, you won’t remain here long.” François was about to strike when Director Z jumped in.
“Now I’m sure we’d all be happy to bow down to Tikoloshe,” said Director Z, “if—”
“Boss!” yelled Pietro.
“No way,” said Gordon.
Roy tried to rush François.
“Pietro, don’t interrupt me,” said Director Z, holding Roy back. “I was saying, if we could know more about him. Who is he? Is he your Director? How has he helped you? What has he promised? Where is your old Director?”
“Only Tikoloshe can explain himself,” said François. “And he only explains himself when he wishes. For now, you must pledge allegiance or leave this place.”
“Chris can’t leave this place,” Director Z said to the monsters gathered in the hot tower. “We must do it.”
François put down his wings, and Roy backed off.
“You first, big man,” François said to Roy. “Bow down and say, ‘I pledge my allegiance, my life, and my afterlife to Tikoloshe.’”
“Hey, you didn’t say anything about pledging my afterlife,” said Roy.
> “Director Z, we don’t have to do this,” I said.
“We have no choice,” said Director Z. “We’ll discuss terms with Tikoloshe when he arrives.”
Roy bowed down. “I pledge—”
“Lower,” said François.
Roy bowed lower. “I—”
“Lower,” said François.
“We’re going to be here forever if you’re going to be that picky,” Director Z said to François.
“I said lower,” growled François.
Roy bowed down as far as he could and then fell forward, bashing his head on the stone floor.
THUNKK!
“Ah-ha-ha!” laughed François as Roy struggled to get up. “That’s perfect, just do it on your knees!”
“I pledge my allegiance, my life, and my afterlife to Tikoloshe,” said Roy. He pushed his body back up off the ground and hit his head on the corner of the shrine.
WHACK!
“Yowch!” yelled Roy.
The statue fell forward onto one of the candles.
“NO!” yelled François. He snatched up the statue and patted its smoking head with his wing-claw.
“It smells like burned bat fur,” said Gordon. “Whoof!”
“Hurry up, you idiots!” yelled François, slamming the statue back in place. “Pledge your allegiance and then let’s get out of this tower before you ruin everything!”
Everyone took their turn as François rushed them through.
Director Z was the second-to-last to go. “I pledge my allegiance, my—”
“Fine, fine, that’ll cover it,” said François, waving his wing impatiently. “Next.”
I stepped up, and the statue winked at me. Its cheesy grin got even bigger.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Hurry it up!” hissed François.
My mouth got dry, and I found it hard to speak. The statue of Tikoloshe was staring right into my eyes. They burned a little. The monkey on my shoulder let out a low growl.
I bowed down so I didn’t have to look at him anymore. The monkey held on to my neck as I choked out the words:
“I pledge my allegiance, my life, and my afterlife to Tikoloshe.”
Have a Nice Afterlife
We quickly made our way down from the tower, led by François.
“Well, I for one am glad that’s over,” said François. He chuckled nervously and continued, “Yes, Tikoloshe is a stickler for ritual.”
We passed by the smashed wall that opened into the jungle. The sun had set while we were in the tower, and now it was fully dark. The jungle was alive with the sounds of creatures of the night.
I looked over at Shane. One nostril of his nose was completely sealed shut with zits.
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
“My nose is so numb I can barely feel it now,” said Shane. “But I’ll be glad to finally sleep in a real bed tonight.”
“What makes you think it’s going to be a real bed?” asked Gordon. “I think François said something about a tarantula mattress.”
“Highly recommended,” François said. “It will really help with your posture. It’s almost as good as hanging upside down.”
We all walked up to a huge iron door I hadn’t seen before.
François opened it and peeked down a set of massive stone stairs.
“Let me just prepare everyone for our new residents,” said François. “I’d hate for someone to be mistaken for a snack.”
As soon as François had disappeared into the darkness, I turned to Director Z.
“What did we just get ourselves into?” I asked him. “Did we really just pledge our afterlife?”
“What does that mean, anyway?” said Gordon. “Are our souls in trouble?”
“Or our complexions?” Ben asked.
“I’m not sure,” Director Z responded. “But taking part in that ritual may have been worthwhile.”
“How was it worth our afterlife?” Ben squeaked.
“We learned something,” said Director Z. “Didn’t we, Chris?” He looked at me, waiting for me to say something.
“Uh . . . ,” I stumbled.
“Think, Chris!” said Director Z. “The pendant might give you power, but your intelligence comes from within. What did we see out of the ordinary?”
“You mean, aside from the oh-so-ordinary ritual of giving our soul to a troll?” asked Gordon.
“Soul Troll,” snickered Clive. “Yo. I’ve heard of that band.”
“François freaked out when the statue hit the candle,” I said.
“Yes?” asked Director Z, digging deeper. “And? What does that tell us?”
“That François is really concerned about keeping the statue safe?” I asked.
We could hear paw-steps coming up the stairs.
“Exactly,” whispered Director Z. “Now think about what that means. That’s what I’ll be doing.”
“Come on then,” said François. “Everyone is excited to meet you.”
We wound our way down the huge, dark spiraling staircase into the cold, deep dungeon of the ruins.
The dungeon buzzed with excitement.
“Because of all the light that filters into the top of the ruin, most of the residents start their evenings here,” said François.
“I feel like we’re in a pit,” said Gordon.
“I love it!” said Grigore. “So homey!”
Low moans and groans floated up the stairs from below. We came down the final steps and found ourselves in a sea of old zombies, vampires, and other horrific creatures from all over the world.
“There are a lot of monsters here,” I whispered. “I can’t even count them all.”
“Almost too many,” Director Z whispered back. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Like François said, they’re coming from all over . . . but why?”
“But, Boss,” said Grigore, “they seem so happy.”
An old zombie turned to us and smiled. His jaw quickly popped off.
François bent over to pick it up. “Now,” he said, “it would be best if the children slept down here at night while the residents wreaked havoc on Yangambi.” He shoved the zombie’s jaw back in place, and it smiled at us again.
“That’s one crooked grin,” said Shane.
“What’s Yangambi?” I asked François.
“That’s the nearby town,” he responded.
“This Tikoloshe,” said Director Z. “He lets you roam free in the town?”
“Like I said,” said François, “Tikoloshe has given us freedom that we could only imagine before. But the residents aren’t strong. They can’t do too much damage. Though I hope the chickens are restocked tonight.”
“But you said that Tikoloshe was going to make you all strong,” I said. “What then?”
“Well, then we’ll have even more fun,” said François. “The best is yet to come.”
“So you’ll destroy the town and kill the residents?” asked Nabila. “What about the monster code?”
François blinked at her, stared into space strangely for a moment, and then growled, “What do you know about the monster code?” He flung his wings wide open and lunged at her.
Nabila fell to the ground and covered her face. François loomed over her.
“Back off, fur ball,” yelled Gordon, and he pushed François back.
“Ow,” shouted François, and he fell onto the cold dungeon floor.
Gordon gave me a puzzled look. “I didn’t even push him that hard.”
I looked down at François, and for a moment his fur changed color from brown to gray.
“Hey, his fur is—” I started to say, but before I could finish, it had turned back to brown.
He moaned on the floor.
The other monsters began to crowd
around us. They fidgeted and growled.
“Can I help you up, old man?” asked Director Z. He reached down to help François.
“Don’t touch me!” yelled François. “And I’m not old.”
“No, you don’t look old,” said Director Z pointedly. “I can agree with that.”
“Now, everyone, back off,” said François. “I’m sorry . . . I don’t know what came over me.”
The monsters all growled and swayed, their old bodies forming a tight circle around us.
I helped Nabila up. Her face was covered in dozens of zits.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I think so,” she replied. “My face feels like it’s crawling with zits.”
“That’s because it is,” I said. “Now I’m the only one who doesn’t have them.”
“This has got to stop,” said Gordon. “All these zits are giving me more zits.”
“How are you doing, Shane?” I asked. I looked over to Shane and saw the largest green booger I had ever witnessed in my life hanging from his nose. It was so big it looked like it was moving and it had eyes. I squinted to get a better look, but I couldn’t tell if I was making up the eyes. It was covered in a thin layer of pus.
SNNNNNNNARF!
Shane snorted the super-pus booger back into his nose. “I’m just feeling a little congested now.”
“Congested with what?” I asked. Did anyone else just see what was hanging out of Shane’s nose?
Before anyone could answer, a banshee stepped forward and locked eyes with Clarice.
“Betty?” asked Clarice. “Poor old Betty, is it really you?”
Betty’s eyes burned red, and she opened her mouth.
She had the sharpest teeth I had ever seen on a banshee, and started screaming as she jumped at Clarice.
Clarice screamed. The monkey screeched.
I thought my ears were going to bleed as the two banshees wrestled each other down to the floor.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
“Clarice!!!” I yelled.
Crazy Old Friends
“Get off of me, you old bird!” yelled Clarice.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
“Betty’s screaming is making the other monsters crazy!” Ben yelled, pointing at the crowd of monsters that closed in around us. Fangs flashed. Arms reached out.
Zits from Python Pit #6 Page 7