Fashionably Forever After: Book Ten, The Hot Damned Series

by Robyn Peterman

  “Prove it,” I growled, still unsure. “Give her the gum and ask her again.”

  “I have a better fucking idea,” Lizard grunted as he grinned like a psychopath and took off running toward the menagerie in front of us.

  “What in the Hell is that boy doing?” The Kev yelled, watching in horror as Lizard moved faster than the speed of light and shoved gum into the mouths of the dying bunch.

  “Clamp their lips. NOW,” my insane Demon shouted at the top of his lungs.

  Without a second thought that one of my Demons had just given me an order, I waved my hands and sealed the mouths of Elle, Martha, Jane, The Dave and the illusions of Gemma and The Kev shut. Lizard sprinted back to us, covered in blood and filled with a vicious pride.

  “What do you want me to ask them, my Lord?”

  “Are they who they appear to be? If not, make them show their true selves,” I said.

  And he did.

  The illusions groaned and writhed on the ground, trying to fight the enchantment that Lizard had forced upon them. Slowly one by one they morphed into enormous Trolls. However, the kicker was they still kept the face of whom they’d been impersonating. It was surreal.

  “What the ever loving ass?” Gemma gasped out as the Trolls with the facial features of those we loved the most began to charge.

  “This l’appel du vide is some fucked up stuff,” The Shelia said as she quickly took her beast form.

  The Shelia was correct.

  And Gemma had told the truth.

  That was not my Elle. It would still be difficult to eliminate something that bore even a slight resemblance to her, but I was about to do it. Time was one of the only things that waited for no one. And I didn’t have a lot of it left.

  Shit was about to get ugly.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Killing the Troll version of Elle was easier than I’d thought. There was nothing of her essence in the abomination. However, if The Kev hadn’t stopped me, I might not have even noticed that important clue. All my life, I’d been an emotionless executioner—not anymore. Feelings were messy and unfamiliar, but I was beginning to embrace them for all I was worth.

  The Fairies dispatched of their own Trolls with deadly efficiency. It was tragic I wasn’t allowed in Zanthia. These Fairies were fascinating, deadly creatures.

  “Move. Now,” I yelled as I made for the enormous door. With a slice of my hand through the air, I blew it sky high. The door shattered into millions of glittering shards and fell to the ground. It bounced covering the area in sparkling ice. The frozen entryway looked as if a diamond mine had exploded and showered the riches everywhere.

  There was no way in Hell that Fate didn’t know we were here now. I hoped it would send her into hiding instead of hurrying to finish the curse. I would definitely find the bitch and she would pay dearly. I just needed to make sure Elle and Sadie were safe first.

  “Do you know where you’re going?” The Shelia asked.

  “No. I’m going to feel my way,” I told her.

  “You want to get there faster?” she inquired with a lopsided grin.

  “Does the Devil wear Prada?” I snapped.

  “Well, usually,” she shot back. “Although today I think he’s wearing Chanel.”

  “If you know a faster way, tell me now or I will turn you back into a brothel bed.”

  “Dude,” Gemma snapped and whacked me in the back of the head, shocking everyone to silence including me. “You’re being an asshat. Tamp that crap back. We’re on the same team here. The Shelia has been to the Ice Palace. Tell her what you saw in your dream.”

  Once again Gemma had an excellent point and once again she reminded me of my mother.

  Giving Gemma a glare that would have sent most running for the hills, she simply grinned. The Fairy was ballsy, I had to give her that…

  “A long white hallway—no windows—no doors,” I replied tersely, obeying her instead of smiting her.

  “Follow me.” The Shelia wasted no time as she sprinted through the ornate crystal foyer and made a sharp left at the grand staircase. “That hallway is on the main floor if I’m remembering correctly.”

  “Does your sister have a good memory?” I asked The Kev as I sprinted after her.

  “Like a steel trap,” he replied, running next to me.

  The Shelia came to a stop when she reached her destination. We were at the place I’d seen in my dream. The hallway gave the illusion of going on forever.

  “What do you see?” I asked the others, making sure this wasn’t some form of l’appel du vide that was screwing with my mind.

  “Long hallway,” The Kev said. “No end in sight.”

  “All white,” The Shelia added.

  “No doors. No windows,” Gemma chimed in.

  “Fucking ugly—extremely boring,” Lizard finished.

  “Are we all in agreement?” I asked, moving down the hallway and looking for anything that might be an entrance to where I needed to be.

  “We are,” The Kev said, joining me in my search as the others nodded their assent.

  “Can you feel Elle?” Gemma asked as she too hunted for weaknesses in the walls.

  Pausing I centered myself. Pulling on my dark magic I let my mind wander from my body for a moment. A sparkling black mist blew through the colorless hallways and the temperature rose dramatically. Moving slowly down the vast hallway, I realized the feeling of drawing closer to Elle was stronger. Elle’s soul grew warmer inside my body and I smiled my first genuine smile since I’d seen my Siren last.

  “I do,” I said, picking up my pace. “She’s farther down this way.”

  The Fairies followed, keeping close but staying behind me. I halted as the sensation grew weaker and backtracked to the section where it was most intense.

  “She’s near here,” I growled in frustration as I slapped my hands against the wall and pushed. “Should I blow it up?” I wondered aloud.

  “Risky,” The Kev responded to my query as he ran his hands over the area. “If she’s in ice she won’t be able to sidestep an explosion. I sense a spell here.”

  He was correct. The spell was as intricately woven as the ice surrounding the Siren we’d come across. My fury began to build and it was all I could do not to level the entire Ice Palace.

  “Watch out,” Lizard grumbled as he shoved everyone out of the way. “I’m gonna let loose. You might want to back up a little. Don’t want to accidentally knock anyone’s noggin off.”

  “You think you can break through?” I asked with doubt written all over my face.

  “Won’t know till I try,” he replied.

  Eyeing my strange and loyal Demon for a long moment, I made a decision that wasn’t at all in keeping with my normal behavior. I didn’t care. Times were changing and apparently I was too. “What is it that you want most?”

  “Not following, My Dark Lord,” he said.

  “Your dream. Your fondest desire. What do you want most in this world?” I asked.

  Lizard scratched his head in thought and then slowly smiled. “I want to marry my concubines in a human ceremony in Hell and I’d like you and Queen Gemma to preside over it.”

  Of all the things the idiot could have asked for…

  “Interesting… is there anything else?” I asked, holding back my pained wince with enormous effort.

  “Nope. That’s it,” he replied.

  “Are you certain?” Gemma asked, clearly realizing where this potential clusterfuck was heading.

  “Positive,” Lizard said. “My Martha and Jane would be beautiful brides. I want to treat my concubines right. Make them legit—show the world that I love them with everything I am.”

  Son of a bitch. I’d just backed myself into an ugly corner. Maybe I’d been hasty in telling everyone I couldn’t fuck myself because I was about to do just that.

  Sighing and trying not to gag, I put my hand on my Demon’s shoulder. “I know you would work your hardest for me even if there was no incentive atta
ched.”

  “Always, my liege,” Lizard said as he bowed to me.

  “However,” I went on. “You have been a loyal subject. And to give you added motivation I shall grant your wish if you can get through this wall.”

  “Seriously?” Gemma asked, giving me the side eye.

  “Yes,” I said, giving it right back to her. “The Fairy Queen and I will preside over your matrimony to your hookers in Hell.”

  “Concubines,” Lizard corrected.

  “Right. Concubines,” I amended.

  Lizard glanced shyly at his Queen.

  “I would be honored,” Gemma choked out as graciously as she could.

  Lizard squealed like a girl and did a little jig that could only be described as atrocious. His joy was extreme, even though for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why he wanted to tie himself to Martha and Jane. Love was clearly blind, tasteless, appalling, disturbing and gross in this particular case.

  “Watch out,” the happy Demon grunted as he choked up on his bat and got into his wall knocking stance. “As James Brown says… Papa’s got a brand new bag.”

  “Actually, he’s getting two bags in this deal,” I muttered and backed away.

  I knew the bizarre man would have given everything he had to demolish the wall, but the added inducement made him practically insane. It was strangely glorious to watch.

  “Sweet Hell in August,” The Shelia said as she clapped her hands and conjured a protective bubble around us. “That boy is something else.”

  Chunks of wall flew everywhere and Lizard had become a Demon possessed.

  “Can I point something out?” Gemma asked, watching Lizard go at it.

  “Be my guest,” I replied, knowing exactly where the Fairy was headed. However, I was quite sure I deserved what was coming as I’d technically fucked her over as well.

  “You actually are a contortionist,” she said with a laugh. “You have free rein to use that phrase from now on.”

  “What phrase?” The Shelia asked, confused.

  “I believe the rude child is referring to I’m fucking Satan,” I supplied with a raised brow and a smile pulling at my lips. “And I’m wildly displeased to agree in this case.”

  “A man of many talents,” The Shelia said with a chuckle and then grew serious. “You can’t end Fate. You are cognizant of that fact?”

  “I’m well aware,” I replied I a clipped tone. “But death has many definitions. The end of life is only one. There are far worse things than actual death.”

  “The Tribunal,” Gemma said. “Pam called a Tribunal on Fate when we fought the Trolls in Disney World.”

  “Pam?” The Shelia asked with wide eyes and an even wider smile. “The one and only bat shit crazy Angel with a direct line to God and just about everyone else? The fabulous pain in the ass who can drink my butt under the table while watching Jerry Springer and cussing like a pack of sailors? And did you say Trolls in Disney World?”

  “Yep,” Gemma replied with a grin.

  “I missed all the fun,” The Shelia said with a shake of her head.

  Gemma rolled her eyes and then glanced over at me. “What exactly is a Tribunal?”

  “Nothing you ever want to be a part of,” I replied curtly. “Trust me on this.”

  “I see light on the other side,” Lizard called out as he examined the hole he’d created.

  “Excellent work,” I said, snapping my fingers and disintegrating the bubble The Shelia had created. “I believe I can get us the rest of the way through now.”

  “As you wish, My Dark Lord,” Lizard replied with a bow and a thumbs up.

  It looked like I was going to be performing a wedding in Hell and bizarrely enough I was fine with it. The things we do for love…

  As I raised my hands to burn out a larger entrance, I was thrown back and slammed into the wall behind me. The Fairies were tossed like rag dolls and hit the wall with extreme force. The air was charged with dark magic and an icy blue fire blasted through the small hole Lizard had created.

  “What the…?” Gemma gasped out as she scrambled to her feet. “Do you think that was Fate?”

  “I certainly hope so,” I growled. “She and I have a few things to discuss. Take cover. Now.”

  With a slash of my hand through the air and a few chosen words of a language understood by only a very few, the wall turned to dust before our eyes. Piles of glistening white sand were now underfoot, but what lay ahead was not what one would expect the pristine sand to lead to…

  A jungle of frozen Sirens greeted us—hundreds of them. It was macabre and horrifying. Some were frozen on their knees with hands raised—clearly begging for their lives. Others looked as if they’d been trying to crawl away. Yet a few had assumed positions of fury—clawed hands and open mouths of rage. No matter the position, it was all shocking and offensive—an odd thought coming from someone who punished for a living.

  “We can’t leave them like this,” The Kev whispered as we carefully made our way through the chilling display.

  A layer of thick silver fog began to snake its way amidst the ice-covered tragedy reminding me of the moors of England. It was eerie and made navigation difficult. I could feel Elle near, but I couldn’t see her… yet.

  “We won’t leave them like this. It’s inhumane. It’s wrong,” Gemma said firmly.

  “We’ll see,” I said. “Find Elle and her mother. I will deal with them first and we will save the others if we can.”

  “Promise?” The Shelia asked, touching the ice that encased of one of the Sirens.

  “Yes,” I snapped.

  “Are you lying?” Gemma pushed.

  Running my hands through my hair, I glared at the annoying Fairy Queen. I was tremendously tired of her calling me on everything as of late. Being second-guessed was wearing on my nerves. One was usually incinerated when one back talked the Devil. Clearly I wasn’t going to cremate the Fairy Queen, but I was sorely tempted…

  Was I losing my edge? Nah, it had to be that Gemma reminded me of my mother and setting my mother on fire was never a good idea. The Fairies weren’t going to know what hit them when this loony tune took back her throne.

  However, I had to actually think about how I wanted to answer the question. Was I lying? No. No I wasn’t. What lay before us was not justice. It was not punishment for evil. It was genocide. I despised dictators who decimated their own. I quite enjoyed burning them at the stake in the Basement of Hell, healing them and starting over. It was a just reward for a life horribly lived.

  “I’m not lying,” I admitted, surprising myself as well as her. “If they’ve committed unforgivable sins without remorse I will deal with them, but this abuse is not permissible.”

  “How wonderful,” a familiar voice hissed, bouncing and echoing off the icy walls of the vast frozen graveyard. “I was hoping you’d come. Saves me a trip.”

  “Fate,” I snarled as the fog cleared and I saw the bitch.

  She floated above two partially finished statues—Elle’s and Sadie’s. Sadie was almost completely encrusted in ice, only her head remained free. Elle was confined to her hips. The rest of her body was unaffected.

  The fury that ripped through me made me feel as if I’d finally let go of my sanity. My desire to tear Fate to shreds with my bare hands was so intense I literally sizzled with unbridled rage.

  “No,” Gemma hissed, grabbing my flaming arm without flinching. “Don’t. Calm yourself, Lucifer. Center. We’re too close for you to blow it now.”

  She was correct, but I wanted to kill the Fairy Queen right now as well. I wanted to have a go at everyone. Rational? No. Rationality wasn’t one of my stronger points.

  “You’re quite beautiful when you’re out of control, Devil,” Fate purred with a smile that made the bile in my stomach churn. “We could have been something together.”

  “I’d rather die,” I stated emotionlessly.

  “That can be arranged,” she said with a deranged laugh. “You see, I believe
I have something of yours—something you can’t live without.”

  “She has your soul,” Elle cried out.

  Fate screeched in fury and blasted Elle with fiery lavender blaze of magic so vicious, I shook Gemma off of me and fired a death shot at Fate. It withered and disintegrated before it even came within five feet of the bitch. However, Elle wasn’t as fortunate. Fate’s ruthless shot at my Siren landed squarely and Elle slumped forward in agony. Sadie’s scream echoed in my ears.

  What the Hell was going on here? Was my power useless? That was impossible. If it was true we were fucked. I was unsure if Fate even realized I’d retaliated. Her ire was focused on Elle.

  “It was supposed to be a surprise,” Fate bellowed at a practically unconscious Elle. “I was supposed to tell him. You’re ruining everything.”

  “Tell me,” I insisted, stepping out in front of the Fairies so I could block any magic shot at them and draw her attention away from Elle. Even if I was taken down, I wouldn’t die and I needed them to be able to continue the fight. As I moved closer to Fate, I felt my power increase. Bingo. I advanced nearer. “Tell me about my soul,” I said calmly even though my insides were seething with hatred and rage.

  My relaxed stance and tranquil tone seemed to pacify the insane woman.

  “I have it,” she said with a giggle. “Do you want it back?”

  “What’s the price?” I asked bestowing her with a smile that made her blush.

  She flew around the room, darting in and out of the frozen Sirens. Her laugh was chilling. Fate was coming unhinged before our eyes.

  “Do you think you could love me?” she asked.

  What the fuck? Closing my eyes for a brief second, I bit back the truth and decided on a half-truth instead. “I love no one but myself,” I replied coldly. “You know that.”

  “But you love her,” she growled, pointing to Elle with her eyes narrowed to slits and her hands raised to throw fire again.

  “No. I don’t,” I lied, feeling ill at even speaking the words. “I’m not capable of such human emotions. Name your price.”

  “No Tribunal,” she said, slowly lowering her hands and reaching into the pocket of her ornate robe.