Songbird

by Bell, Julia

  Brett took my hand once more. “Then perhaps you and I could take supper at your hotel?” I nodded with enthusiasm, even though I generally didn’t have supper after a performance but went straight to my room. “I’ve booked into the same one as you, for the next two nights.” He bent his head closer. “I thought we could spend tomorrow together.”

  I burst into spontaneous laughter that lifted my spirits. I couldn’t believe he was there. I hadn’t seen him for two months and I had missed him every single day. And just when I couldn’t bear to be without him a moment longer, he had travelled over a hundred miles to be with me.

  We walked to the dressing room where I undressed behind a bamboo screen while Brett sat in the armchair. We talked avidly all the time. Emily was not with him since his wife had taken her to Claythorpe for a summer visit.

  “Well, she’ll have a lovely time with Danny and Abigail,” I called to him. “I really envy them. I wish I could visit.”

  “Yes, it’s a lovely place,” he called back. “And they’ll probably spend all their time riding and swimming.”

  “Well, I hope they take care,” I said, coming from behind the screen.

  He clicked his tongue. “Now then, don’t start worrying about him.” He let out a gasp. “My, you look wonderful. I’ll be a very proud man tonight.”

  I had decided to wear one of my stage creations, since it was all I had available for a supper engagement. I didn’t want to put on a simple skirt and jacket for such a special occasion. I had stopped wearing a bustle the year before since they were now going out of fashion and the skirt of my gown was more bell-shaped with a small waist, this particular one made of white satin with short puffed sleeves and a low neckline. In my hair, a comb of white osprey feathers curled elegantly round my head.

  “Do you like it?” I said, giving him a twirl.

  “Breathtaking,” he smiled and rose from his seat.

  I went to him and our hands linked again. “I’m so pleased you’re here,” I whispered. Martha coughed. “Let’s go. Come on, Martha.”

  We travelled by cab and as soon as we arrived, Martha wished us a hasty goodnight and went straight upstairs to bed. Brett and I went into the dining room and a waiter showed us to a table.

  “This is the second supper we’ve enjoyed together,” I said, taking the menu offered.

  “And I hope we have many more,” he smiled.

  “How is Emily…and Angelique?”

  “They’re both well. Angelique caught a bit of chill while we were in Bath, but she was fully recovered by the time we left.”

  “Did the waters do her any good?”

  “The jury’s still out on that,” he grinned.

  The waiter came to take our order.

  “This is a lovely hotel,” I said, looking around the lemon and cream room with yellow, flowered curtains and a beautiful chandelier fixed in the centre of the ceiling. “This is my fifth night here and I don’t think we’ve stayed in a hotel for this long before.”

  “You must be getting weary.”

  I gave a jaded laugh. “Sometimes I’m so exhausted, I’m too tired to breathe. It’s been a long five months.”

  “You wouldn’t think it. Your performance tonight was as fresh as if it was your first time.”

  “That’s because I forget myself once I’m out there in front of the audience. It’s only afterwards that the fatigue sets in.”

  “Well, I enjoyed watching you.”

  I leaned my elbow on the table and cupped my chin in my hand. “You watched the whole thing from the wings?”

  He nodded. “I arrived at your dressing room intending to wait, but your maid said to come along with her and watch you from the side. I’ve never seen a stage from that angle before.”

  The waiter brought our order and we settled down to eat.

  “Jane’s gone,” I said, picking up my knife and fork.

  Brett stared at me. He seemed to be thinking this over, as he shook out his napkin and placed it across his knee.

  “Gone? Do you mean she’s given notice?”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “She just packed her bags one morning and left. Nan and Diamond were very surprised. They thought she was happy working for them.”

  He frowned. “I don’t understand that. I would have considered that kind of behaviour completely out of character.”

  “Nan thinks she found a young man and went off with him.”

  Brett shrugged and then smiled. “Well, that’s the servant class for you. Utterly unreliable and disloyal.”

  “Not all of them,” I rebuked him and then changed the subject. “How is it you’re not at Claythorpe with your wife and daughter?”

  “I told them I’d follow after I’d visited you.” The horror on my face amused him and he chuckled over his wineglass. “I’m teasing you. I told Angelique I had some business to attend to and I’d travel to Hampshire as soon as possible.”

  “So she doesn’t know you’re here with me…on business?”

  He chuckled again and rubbed his finger along my jaw line. “No, my darling. She doesn’t.”

  His smile gave me courage. “Brett, I’ve something to tell you.” He didn’t answer and refilled my glass, his eyes telling me that he was listening. “Andrew knows about us…and about Emily.”

  A look of surprise and then disquiet passed across his face. “How does he know?” he said, taking a gulp of wine.

  “Actually, I don’t know. He could see how I was with you, both in Bath and Bristol. He also saw how fond I was of Emily. I suppose he worked it out for himself. He’s assumed we had an affair and Emily was the result.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, he’s very astute. But I think he can be trusted to take it no further. I believe he cares too much for you to spread any gossip.”

  “He keeps proposing,” I said, tongue in cheek. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told him that but I wanted to know how he would react.

  “Does he now! And you keep turning him down?” I nodded. “I’m very pleased about that.”

  “I thought you would be,” I said coyly.

  “I’m not very keen on sharing you with another man.”

  “I share you with your wife.”

  “No you don’t. My wife and I sleep separately. I can’t imagine that would be the case if you married your manager.”

  “Yes, he’d definitely want to share my bed. He’s quite a passionate man is Andrew.” I strained to keep my face straight.

  “Now you’re trying to make me jealous,” he said, smiling.

  I fluttered my eyelashes at him and then realised that being in his company was making me giddy with happiness. I must pull myself together. I was a grown woman not a silly schoolgirl.

  “Yes, I’m sorry. Sometimes my mischievous nature gets the better of me.”

  He caught his breath. “Come to my room. Stay the night with me,” he whispered. I looked round, but the few diners there were not interested in us. I looked back at the man sitting opposite me, his blue-green eyes shimmering with desire. A man that I loved with all my heart and had yearned for. I nodded. He stood up abruptly and put his hand under my elbow, helping me rise from my chair. “We’d better go before I throw you on the floor and ravish you here and now.”

  Despite his impatience, we walked slowly from the dining room, not wanting to attract any attention. We crossed the foyer to the stairs and when we were hidden from view of the desk clerk, he slipped his arm round me. I raised my face for a kiss and he responded passionately.

  We reached the top of the stairs and came face to face with Andrew. His expression was dark, ominous as he glared at us.

  “I thought you’d gone out,” I said, trying not to look him in the eye. I was conscious that my face must be flushed.

  “I’d like to speak with you, if you don’t mind?”

  I groaned in despair. “It’s so late. Couldn’t it wait until tomorrow?”

  Brett cleared his throat and then raising my hand
to his lips, kissed my fingers. “Thank you for a wonderful evening, Isabelle. I will see you in the morning.” He left me standing in the corridor.

  Andrew watched him walk away, the muscles in his jaw twitching and then turned to me. “I saw you in the dining room together.”

  I felt appalled. “You were spying on me?” He didn’t answer. “You didn’t want to speak with me, did you?”

  “No, I wanted to prevent you keeping company with that man.”

  “Why, Andrew?”

  He shook his head. “He’s a married man and you’re my responsibility. I don’t want you to see him again while you’re on tour.”

  Anger surged up from my stomach and I found words wouldn’t come. I turned swiftly and went to my room, banging the door behind me.

  I woke up still feeling angry. Andrew had gone too far, prying into my personal life. He was my manager and nothing more and as I dressed I decided to confront him. But first I would breakfast with Brett. That I was adamant about. As I searched for my shawl I noticed an envelope pushed under my door. I read it and then let out a cry of dismay.

  My Darling,

  Please forgive me for leaving you, but I believe it will not be in your best interest if I should stay. Your manager has obviously taken a dislike to me and therefore I’m travelling to Hampshire to be with our daughter. Finish your tour, my sweet Isabelle and when you are done we will meet in Brighton. And then come to my home at Standford Park and spend time with Emily and me.

  I love you with all my heart.

  Brett

  I held the letter close to my heart, trying to ease the pain. He was gone and I wanted him here with me. I walked across to the mirror and stared at my reflection. And then taking in a deep breath, I turned on my heels and went down to breakfast.

  Andrew and Martha were already there and as I took my seat, Andrew murmured ‘good morning’ and smiled as if there was nothing untoward between us. We ate our meal in silence and then Martha left to prepare my wardrobe for my final performance in Plymouth.

  “We set off for Torquay tomorrow morning,” said Andrew matter-of-factly. “And the next four weeks will be taken up right along the coast until we reach the Theatre Royal in Brighton, before returning to London.”

  I tried to smile. “Almost done, then?”

  He nodded. “Unfortunately the next month might be the most gruelling, but I’m sure you’ll manage.”

  “I’m sure I will,” I said crisply. My thoughts turned to my son. “Danny starts at The Hall in early September. I’ll need to break from the tour to go back to London. I want to see him settled in on his first day.”

  “Can’t his governess do that?”

  “I want to do it.”

  “Very well.” He pondered on this. “By then we should be in Bournemouth. After your last performance you can leave for London and meet us in Bognor Regis.”

  It was gruelling and although the weather that August was wonderful, I went from theatre to theatre, from hotel to hotel in a tired daze. When I finished in Bournemouth, I caught the train to London with a sigh of relief.

  I arrived home to a family that I had missed more than I realised. Ruth and Gwilym looked well and I laughed when I saw Ruth’s fruitful shape.

  “I’m due in November,” she said, smiling. “So, I’m going to be quite a size for Diamond’s wedding.”

  Gwilym placed his arm round her waist. “Thank you for letting us stay here, Issy. But we’ll be moving out very soon. I’ve found a rented house just a few streets away.”

  I smiled in delight. My brother and his wife would be close by and so would Diamond and Victor. Ealing will be a wonderful place to live when my tour finished.

  That evening my son showed off his new school uniform and then took himself off to his bedroom in order to translate a section of simple Latin into English; this work set by his new form master in readiness for his first lesson.

  Although Danny’s room was the smallest, there were also three quite large bedrooms and two servants’ rooms in the attic on the second floor. Nan had taken over the larger attic room and made it into a lovely workroom and storage area. Her reputation as a dressmaker had grown enormously and she believed she might have to employ a young girl to help her. Lily and Violet slept in the other room and although I could only make the briefest of acquaintance with them on this visit I could see that they had settled down at Gibson Place.

  When Gwilym and Ruth had returned, Diamond and Nan had moved in together not wanting to give them my room. I had shown surprise with this but they had sheepishly said that I might unexpectedly come home. I wondered if they, or more likely Diamond, had had an inkling that Andrew Perry would be more difficult to work with than he had been at Covent Garden.

  But that first night I didn’t want to think of Andrew Perry. I stretched in the large bed that Brett and I had shared and sank into dreamless sleep.

  The following day was spent in the garden enjoying the cool breeze. It was peaceful, sitting in a wicker chair under the trees, listening to the bees humming and the birds singing. The scent of roses and honeysuckle filled the air and it was wonderful knowing I was home and amongst those I loved. Gwilym had obtained a position at Guy’s but he had talked of starting his own practice. The following morning I would accompany Danny on the omnibus to Camden and to school and the day after I would journey to Bognor Regis to take up the tour once more. How strange that the tour was now the only blot on the horizon. Nan and Lily setting up the small table on the lawn for our afternoon tea brought me out of my day-dreaming.

  Miss Rupp had been invited to tea and in the middle of some lively conversation she touched my arm to attract my attention. “Mrs Asquith, I’m so pleased that you’ve decided to send your son to preparatory school, but I must warn you that I will be leaving too.”

  I felt aghast. “You’re leaving? But I didn’t realise you would want to.” I hadn’t thought what Miss Rupp would do after Danny went to school.

  She smiled sadly. “My time here is finished and there’s nothing for me to do now.”

  “Would you like to be my secretary?” I couldn’t hide my distress. “Oh, I don’t want you to leave. I shall miss you so.”

  “I’ve obtained a position at a girls’ school in Bloomsbury. I shall be perfectly happy, I assure you. Besides, my mother is getting on and needs more of my attention.”

  I took her hand. “But you’ll visit? You must come for tea and keep in touch with Danny.”

  “Naturally, ma’am.”

  I joined in with Danny’s excitement the following morning and the ride on the omnibus to Camden was exhilarating. However, the sight of the large impressive house known as The Hall, brought a lump to my throat. Although established only five years previously, it seemed to reek already of education and privilege and I had been impressed when I had first visited and met the headmaster. And at that interview I found I couldn’t help mentioning Brett’s name and then feeling embarrassed immediately after for my blatant name-dropping.

  Danny insisted on going in alone, although in reality he wasn’t alone since quite a few new boys were heading through the large double doors with imposing columns each side.

  “Don’t want the older boys to think I’m a fag,” he said sharply.

  “A fag?” I asked.

  “Lord Waltham told me all about it. A fag is a boy who runs errands for the older boys.”

  I felt alarmed. “I had no notion.”

  He grinned. “Goodbye, Mama. See you this evening.”

  “You remember what omnibus to catch?” I called after him, but he was already striding through the door; lost amongst the sea of uniforms.

  I gazed over the red brick building with many windows. The Belsize Park area of London was quite respectable and the steps of the school led straight onto the pavement. The omnibus stop was only a short distance away. Danny would have no trouble getting home.

  But I went home still feeling worried and all that day I felt restless, much to everyone
’s amusement.

  “Sit down, Isabelle,” said Ruth. “You’re exhausting me.”

  “Not to mention wearing out the rug,” laughed Nan.

  Ruth hauled herself out of the armchair and held out her hand. “Come with me and I’ll show you my mementoes.”

  We spent the rest of the afternoon going through the chest she had filled while on her trip. There were shells from the Philippines, a frightening mask from Africa, a Japanese fan and many more besides. By the time Danny came home carrying his books under his arm, I had had a very interesting few hours as Ruth regaled me with her stories. She and Gwilym had been away for three yeas and she had had an incredible adventure.

  Danny was filled with more information than I could take in. He had met two other boys who also lived in Ealing and they had travelled home together on the omnibus. The maths master had complimented him on his work and he had been asked if he would like to play a small part in the school’s Christmas play.

  “I’m playing Snout the tinker in A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” His eyes shone with excitement.

  “I’ll look forward to seeing it, dearest,” I said, choking on tears.

  “I don’t think you need to worry about him,” whispered Nan.

  And I had to agree.

  I left them all with a melancholy heart and journeyed to Bognor Regis for a one-night performance. Martha was pleased to see me and Andrew gave me a half-smile. I decided to persevere and get through the rest of the tour, but more especially I had Brighton to look forward to. Hopefully, Brett would keep his promise and meet me there.

  And when we reached Brighton I felt I had come full circle once again. The grandeur of the Pavilion made me smile when I remembered the last time I was there and my meeting with Eloise.

  The Theatre Royal was wonderful and I would perform for five nights, which would then conclude the tour.

  Before going on stage on the fourth night, Brett sent me a telegram that he and Emily would be arriving the following morning and would book into my hotel. I left a message for him with the desk clerk saying I would meet him in the foyer and we could spend the day together. I was determined that Brett and Andrew would not come face to face.