Miss Congeniality

by Marie Garner

  “About what?” She had stayed close, putting her head on his chest, realizing how much she missed her brother.

  “I am responsible for her, but not in the way you think. I’m responsible for her getting as bad as she did.” She heard the tremor in his voice, and though she hated what he did, she knew nothing compared to his self-loathing. She grabbed his face in her hands, wiping the tears falling from his eyes.

  “You’re not!” She shook her head furiously.

  “I am,” he said, the tears continuing to fall. They were both crying, a blubbering mess on Derrick and Silvia’s porch.

  “Don’t do this.” She hugged his neck, feeling hot tears fall in her hair. Alex never cried; in all the years she knew him, he was always her rock, her protector. Brea was certain there was no way she would ever be able to forgive her mother, not for breaking this man. They stayed as they were, comforting each other in a way they couldn’t before, and allowed their tears to free them. From what remained to be seen, but she felt better for them. He pulled back first, wiping his eyes with both hands. She hated the loss of contact but wiped her own eyes, as well.

  “You don’t have to tell me the rest,” she told him, figuring he wouldn’t want to carry on with the emotional overload tonight.

  “I guess I better finish,” he said sheepishly. She hated he was embarrassed, but she allowed him his feelings. He blew out a cleansing breath.

  “So, why did you start drugs?” she asked when he didn’t start talking right away.

  “Mom,” he said so matter-of-factly.

  Brea slapped her hand on her thigh. “I knew that bitch had something to do with it.”

  “Brea. This is my fault.”

  “But why?”

  He rubbed his forehead. “It’s stupid. Mom would still come by sometimes, always telling me it was my fault, and I was the reason she was like that.”

  “Tell me you didn’t believe her.”

  “No,” he said hesitantly.

  “You did,” she accused.

  “I couldn’t fucking help it,” he shouted. “Imagine a person comes up to you every day and says you’re ugly. You could be the most gorgeous person in the world but eventually, you’re going to believe it. She picked at me, like someone chips away the layers of a rock, and eventually I started believing it.”

  “But drugs?”

  “I know. I was at a party. The shop hadn’t been doing well and I was still in pain from the car accident I had right after Christmas. Someone offered me a pill, so I took it. I didn’t think it was the same thing. I was taking a prescription drug, but I ended up hooked.”

  “How long did you take them?”

  “For three months, but I swear within a week I knew I was in trouble. I was craving it, and I spent most of the day high.”

  She rubbed his thigh, aware his confession must be taking its toll. “How did Derrick and Silvia find out?”

  He held out his hand, showing her a long scar on his palm. “I had an accident at the job. I was high, of course, and I cut myself with one of the tools. My boss asked for them to do a drug test because it’s standard when they have to pay out for worker’s comp, but I tested positive.” Brea’s eyes widened, not quite believing everything he was saying. You couldn’t script this shit.

  He laughed softly, picturing their reaction. “Derrick and Silvia flipped on me, asking me how long this had been going on and lecturing me on my bad behavior.” Brea grinned, having been on the receiving end of one of those lectures. “I got mad at them and I told them to get out, but you know them. One of them was constantly stopping by, checking on me, telling me I needed to go to rehab.”

  “What happened with your job?”

  “I lost it, of course. My boss was really upset about it, but how can you have a guy who’s high on painkillers working around sharp tools?”

  “Was that when you decided to go to rehab?”

  “No, I was able to live for about another month without problems, but I was running out of money fast. What stopped me was Mom.”

  “Her again?”

  “I brought her food one day like I normally do, and she told me she recognized another junkie. I denied it. I mean, I was functioning, so how could I be like her? She told me she knew I would always end up like her, and she was proud of me. I left her and immediately threw up outside, so sick to my stomach because she was right. So I called Derrick and told him I was done, and I wanted out.” Brea had pulled her legs up to wrap her arms around them during his explanation.

  “And your dealer? I thought you were done.”

  He kicked his legs out, crossed them at the ankles, and stared at the night sky. “I was, I promise you, I was. But he came to see me, you know how dealers are.” Actually, she didn’t because she had never done drugs, but she wasn’t going to point that out. It would be like rubbing salt on a wound. “When I told him to leave me alone, he started talking about you.”

  “Me?” she asked surprised.

  “Yeah, he told me about how he remembered you being gorgeous, and how you would end up like Mom, and maybe he should go visit you.” Misery showed on his face as he told her about that night. “I told him to shut up, and I tried to hold my temper, but I fucking lost it. I just started hitting him, and I didn’t stop until someone yanked me off him.” She studied her brother, this protective man who was so flawed. She couldn’t hate him for what he did, but she definitely wasn’t looking at him as the perfect man she always remembered.

  She smiled softly, belying her words. “I’m sorry you felt you had to protect me.”

  Blue eyes so like her own flashed angrily. “Don’t you dare apologize because I protected you. You’re my little sister, and I’ll always protect you. Whether it’s from a junkie drug dealer or our own mother, I am your protector.”

  “And I’m my brother’s keeper. Today, and every day, I’ll always be your keeper. So I need you to fight for your life like you fought for my reputation a couple months ago.”

  “I will.”

  “Are you sure? Because you screamed for me to come and I did. I need to know the hit to my reputation wasn’t in vain.”

  He cringed, thinking about what he put her through with the media. He had understood what would happen when he did it, but he wanted his sister with him. “Was it really bad?”

  “Nah.” She waved him off. She held out her hand, ticking off the different points as she said them. “Let’s see. I was followed and harassed by the media, yelled at by my boss because of all the bad press, had to rush home to save your ass, and I am currently in the middle of a fight with my boyfriend, who coincidentally hasn’t returned although he swore he would.

  “Some protector I’ve turned out to be.” She kicked him lightly with her foot.

  “Don’t do it again.”

  “I know.”

  “I mean it, asshole, or I will kill you myself.” He held up his hands, smirking at the thought of his 5’6, one-hundred-five-pound sister trying to beat up on his 6’1, one-hundred-seventy-five pound ass.

  “You’re still a feisty little thing, aren’t you?”

  “My brother taught me how to fight, so don’t think I won’t kick your ass.”

  He laughed. “Understood.”

  “What does your lawyer believe?” she asked, turning back to the topic at hand.

  “He believes they can knock it down to a misdemeanor if I agree to go to rehab. They aren’t trying to nail me with it, which is what they originally said, but they do want me to be punished for it. My lawyer is a shark in the courtroom, and I don’t think the prosecutor wants to go against him.”

  “What about jail time?”

  “He said he could maybe get me six months or less.”

  “Seriously?” she asked, excited because he might be able serve minimal time.

  “My lawyer’s good, what can I say? You hired the best.” She wanted to help him because he was her brother; but knowing everything she did now, she knew he didn’t deserve to be in prison f
or an extended period. He was protecting her, and she would feel an extreme level of guilt if he went to prison for her.

  “So, when will you know?”

  “Damn, you don’t let up. I’ll go see him tomorrow.”

  “Good.” She figured the sooner he got this taken care of the better. “Can I ask you something else?” She was scared to ask him, but she didn’t want to leave without trying.

  “Anything,” he said seriously.

  “Will you consider coming back with me to LA?”

  “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I will consider it, and I could use a change of scenery, but I don’t know if I can leave…”

  “Mom,” she completed, knowing where he was going before he finished.

  He sighed deeply, looking older than his years. “I just don’t know if I can.”

  “Think about this while you’re considering my request. How many times do you believe she thought about your well-being? When you were fighting off her johns, where was Mom? When she was taking your money when she should have been feeding her children, what was she doing with it? You believe you can’t leave because you feel responsible for her, more so because of what you did when you were a child, but she was the adult and should have protected her children. You will never be able to make a life if you stay here; you’ll just be existing.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead, a gesture he used to do all the time when they were children, and got up to leave.

  “I’ll think about it. I can’t promise I’ll go, but I will think about it for you.” She stood up, ready to go inside.

  “That’s the problem with you, Alex. When are you going to start doing something for you?” She walked off, leaving him to his thoughts, and headed straight to her room. Lance still wasn’t back, and she checked her phone for any missed calls or messages. There weren’t any, so she simply went through her nighttime routine and went to bed alone. Sleep evaded her because her mind wouldn’t shut down from everything she had heard. She never knew her brother had such hidden depths, or kept all those secrets for years. She finally drifted off, awaking slightly when she felt the dip in her bed.

  “Shh,” he said, after she turned her head to talk to him. She fell back to sleep, encased in Lance’s arms.

  Brea woke up slowly the next day, feeling the sheets beside her. They had cooled, and she thought she might have dreamed his presence except there was a telltale indention where he slept, and his clothes from yesterday were in a pile on the floor. She rolled over on her back, staring at the plastic stars she stuck on the ceiling years ago, wanting to block out the potential conversation in her head. She dragged herself from bed and into the shower, figuring if she was going to fight with him, she should at least look good doing it. That way, he could at least see what he would be giving up if he continued to act like an asshole. Forty-five minutes and one pep talk later and she found herself following the smells and sounds from the kitchen. Everyone was in there except her, and Lance and Alex were joking about something, shooting the shit at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Well, that was something, at least.

  “She’s awake,” Alex alerted everyone to her presence. Lance’s head shot up and green eyes burned into her, his thoughts indiscernible. He simply held out his hand, and she went without hesitation. He pulled her close for a kiss before setting her at the kitchen table so he could make her some coffee. Someone knows he fucked up, she thought. Wonder how long I can milk this? She noticed Alex looking at her, telling her he knew what she was thinking, but she didn’t care. She maturely stuck her tongue out at him and accepted the coffee cup Lance gave her. She drank deeply, her heart warmed when she realized he fixed it the way she always did.

  “Talk later?” she asked, not wanting to get into another argument with her family around.

  “Sure,” he agreed, drinking his own coffee.

  “Leave the boy alone,” Alex put his two cents in. “Everyone knows he was only looking out for your best interest, even if it was against your dear, old brother.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “It’s none of your business what we have to talk about, so leave us alone.”

  He arched his eyebrow and leaned in toward her. “Oh, so I’m mistaken in thinking you are going to try and filet the man for getting mad about you paying for my bail, and then leaving so he could calm down?”

  “Shut up, Alex,” she mumbled. “What’s for breakfast?” She directed her question at Silvia, who was at the stove with Derrick.

  “I’m making blueberry pancakes.” Her favorite.

  “Maybe I should come home more often,” she joked.

  “Maybe you should,” Alex said pointedly, an uncomfortable silence settling over the kitchen. Everyone knew he was talking about more than food.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t been around when you needed me,” she apologized.

  “I told you to go and never look back.”

  “I know you did, but you don’t have to defend me. I knew what I was doing, and as much as I loved you guys, it just became easier to stay away. Especially when I had paparazzi who would just show up randomly, or people always taking pictures. I didn’t want people to know Miss Congeniality was actually the daughter of a junkie prostitute.”

  Sympathy showed in his crystal-blue eyes. “I get it; I didn’t want them to know the truth about you, either. But the crap about you being the nice, innocent one? Do they even know you?”

  “Shut up! I try to be nice sometimes. I mostly just got it because I was never in trouble, unlike Raquel.”

  “Yet lately, you can’t seem to stay out of trouble,” Lance threw in his two cents.

  She turned toward him. “I think it’s the company I’ve been keeping lately. The latest poll said I should dump you, so I can go back to being the nice one.”

  His jaw dropped. “You’re lying.”

  “I’m not. Henry, my PR rep, sent it to me last night. The article basically said since I’ve been with you I’ve been cursing more, drinking shots like an alcoholic, driving a motorcycle, and getting into a bar fight. One girl commented they’re just waiting on the tattoo. He also said I should really take into consideration what everyone is saying if I want to salvage my career.”

  “Your career is fine,” Lance argued. “Why the hell do you keep him around?”

  Brea shrugged. “I don’t know. He was good for a while, but I think he is starting to overstep his bounds.”

  “Ya think?” Lance snorted.

  “Wait a second,” Alex interrupted. “So, you’re telling me people really have an opinion about you dating him and the shit you do on your own time?”

  She nodded. “They’ve been doing it for years. I’ve just stayed out of trouble until this guy.” She jerked her thumb at Lance.

  “Unbelievable.” Alex looked flabbergasted. “And you want me to move to that shark tank?”

  “With all my heart,” Brea answered honestly. Lance laid his hand over hers and squeezed his silent show of support.

  “Wanna talk about what happened yesterday?” Brea asked Lance while they walked holding hands to a diner down the street.

  “We can,” he answered. “I’m not going to apologize for trying to protect you because you are my responsibility at this point. Not your brother, who I like, not your aunt and uncle, and definitely not your mother. You. So if I stepped on your toes yesterday, it wasn’t my intention, but I am going to make sure you’re okay.” It was hard to stay mad at the man when he said stuff like that.

  “I understand, and I will always appreciate the fact you wanted to stick up for me. However, it’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. You yelled at me and then you just left, without telling me where you were going or what you were doing.”

  “I wasn’t aware I needed to check in with you.” She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, ready to yell at him again for trying to make a joke when she was being serious.

  “I’m serious. I don’t expect you to check in with me, and I never have, but if you’re pissed and
we’re not at home, then I need to know you aren’t going to take off.”

  “I told you I wasn’t.”

  “But I didn’t know. I waited for hours for you to get back, and you never did. I had to field questions from everyone; sympathetic looks told me they knew we were on the outs. I didn’t appreciate it.” He slung his arm over her shoulder and leaned down to kiss her.

  “I’m sorry you had to try to defend me.”

  “It wasn’t that; I could take that part. You’re my boyfriend, and I will always defend you in public, even if I don’t necessarily agree with you. But I needed you last night. Alex and I dealt with some heavy shit, and I really needed someone to lean on.” She looked up and him, wanting him to understand the severity of her next statement. “If you can’t be that person, let me know.” Confusion showed in his green eyes.

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “I’m saying I needed you and you weren’t there. I need to know that isn’t going to happen again.”

  “Look, I’m not going to say it will never happen again. I’m saying I fucked up, and I shouldn’t have left you the way I did, and I will do my level best to never hurt you like that again.” She mulled it over. He hadn’t promised it would never happen again, but who could? Although she felt like they had been together forever, they were still in the ‘get to know you’ phase of their relationship, and there would be missteps. The important thing was to correct it so they wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice.

  “Okay.” She reached up and kissed him before going into the diner.

  “So, what is this place?” he asked when they were seated.

  “It’s our old hangout. We used to come here after school and get milkshakes and fries.”

  “Nice,” he said, noticing the diner was deliberately designed to look like a 1950s soda shop.

  “Brea?” The waitress looked down in shock. Brea squealed and jumped up, hugging the waitress tight.

  “Shannon! How in the hell are you? Let me look at you!” Brea held Shannon out at arm’s length, taking in her old high school friend.