Dream a Little Dream of Me

by Daniels, Cobie

  “Bollocks. Fucking. Bollocks!” Why did his life have to be so complicated! This wasn’t supposed to be happening. This was the stupid shit women read about in a romance novel. However, in this case it wasn’t; this was his reality. She was only eighteen; he was twenty-bloody-two. “I have my whole life ahead of me, so much school left, and there will be plenty of other women who can fill this, whatever the hell THIS is!” Gareth continued to lay there awash in thoughts that eventually turned into a dream that took the two of them away from the reality they were living.

  Kelsey stirred as the sunlight was breaking across her bed. Her head was pounding so hard she literally thought someone was beating drums in the room. Barely able to open her eyes, she began to feel around and figure out where she was and what had happened. She knew she was in an unfamiliar room; the pillow and sheets smelled like they had been freshly washed. Using her hands, she began to pat down her body. Why am I naked? she thought. When the magnitude of that discovery hit, Kelsey shot straight up so quickly, she had to grab her head to stop the room from spinning. Her breathing was in heaves as she tried to recall how the hell she wound up nude in a strange room and bed! Think Kelsey! Think! Think! Think!

  With her hands still holding her head on her shoulders, her mouth shot open. “Gareth! GARETH! ARE YOU HERE?! GARETH! HELP ME PLEASE! WHERE ARE YOU?!” Hearing his name being screamed for from the back of the apartment, Gareth jumped over the couch so rapidly he forgot he was only in boxers. Flinging the bedroom door open he saw Kelsey holding her head and her eyes shut. Gareth leapt on the bed, grabbing her shoulders. “Kelsey, it’s okay. You’re okay! You’re safe. Calm down! You’re in my apartment. You’re okay!” They sat there in silence while Gareth rubbed the sides of her shoulders reassuring her that everything was fine.

  When Kelsey was finally able to slowly open her eyes, she could see that Gareth was only in his boxers. With an arched brow she looked at him, then looked down at herself, wrapped in his blanket and sheets, then looked back at him and in a low and tentative voice asked, “Gareth…did we?”

  “Oh Jesus, Kelsey! Are you seriously asking me if we had sex last night? Do you not remember anything at all?” he asked in a harsh voice.

  “If I remembered, Gareth, then why would I be in a panic asking you?!” she snapped right back.

  “Well, let me see where do I begin? Ah yes, let’s start with the phone call you made home to your beloved Jason, who apparently said or did something to piss you off.”

  “Were you eavesdropping into my conversation with Jason last night?”

  Gareth sat silent and reluctantly responded but with a terse tone, “It was only because I could hear you crying. You were also visibly upset when you came out of your room and enthusiastically volunteered to go to the party. I had a bad feeling about it. However, I didn’t stop you because you’re an adult, and you were finally giving yourself permission to have a little fun.” Kelsey went to interject, and Gareth raised his hand. “I’m not finished,” he said through gritted teeth. “Once we got to the party, you were hell bent on being this ‘new’ person, and I was astounded when you went right for the alcohol! You never even tried to work your way up; you were doing shots in one hand and holding a beer in the other.”

  “Okay, I get it. I remember,” Kelsey said, waving her hand in the air. Gareth was so annoyed at her flippancy that he grabbed Kelsey’s face between his hands and in a controlled yet angry voice began his speech, “No, Kelsey, I don’t think you do remember, because I found you in a room with Harry. That bastard had gotten you alone in one of the bedrooms, and I found you just in time to discover that he was unbuttoning your shirt while you were passed out on the bed. He had no intention of stopping until he’d gotten everything he wanted. I jumped on him, pulled him off of you, and gave him the beating of his life. Once he was out cold, I scooped you up, and halfway back to the apartment, you asked me to put you down.”

  “Put me down?” Kelsey asked as tears began to pool and stream down her face.

  “Yes, Kelsey, I was carrying you, and I put you down so you could get sick, which you did, I might add, in spectacular fashion.” He released her face and sat next to her. “You were so pitiful, and I just wanted to get you back somewhere safe and help you get cleaned up because I knew that’s what you would have wanted. I knew that last night you were angry, and you were trying to live it up, but Kelsey, your actions almost…you could have been…last night was not the Kelsey I’ve come to lov...” He stopped before he could say it. “That was not the Kelsey I have come to care for, and I didn't want the one night where you made some bad choices to haunt you for the rest of your life.”

  They sat in silence for a good five minutes while the depth of his words anchored to her soul. Kelsey reached out and laid her hand on his arm. Gareth nearly jumped out of his body at the sensation of her touch. “I have no words right now, Gareth, to adequately fit the moment to show my gratitude. Would you allow me the opportunity to take another shower and pull myself together?”

  “Of course. Your clothes are washed and are now in the dryer. I just need to run and fetch them. I’ll leave them here on the bed for you.”

  With that Gareth got up and, five minutes later, brought the fresh clean clothes back to his room just as he said he would. He could hear the shower running, and while he desperately wanted to shower with her, feel every curve of her perfect body, wash her, and then worship her in his bed, he snapped out of it, put on a clean pair of jeans and a shirt decided to make some coffee and scrambled eggs to help Kelsey recover from her night. He’d have to take a mental cold shower instead.

  Twenty minutes later Kelsey, showered, dressed, and with towel-dried hair, slowly came into the main room. The smell of coffee was bad enough, but the eggs almost made her sick again. She found Gareth in the little kitchenette with his back turned to her. He commanded rather decent skills in the kitchen, which she found amusing before she was quickly reminded of the awful headache that caused her eyes to water and stop her dead in her tracks. She reached for the chair that allowed her to sit up at the bar and slowly sat down. “Please tell me you have a glass of water and Advil nearby?” Before she could even finish the question, Gareth produced a bottled water and meds. An audible sigh of gratitude left her mouth.

  “You’re going to need to eat some of this. It’ll help you recover quicker.”

  “I’m aware of this Gareth, thank you. Oh, of all days for the sun to be blazing a trail in York,” before she could even finish that thought out loud, Gareth produced a pair of sunglasses. Without a second thought, Kelsey placed them over her eyes. “Oh, Gareth, you are truly, truly, wonderful.” There was a heaviness and happiness in his heart all at one time when he heard those words. He placed a single cup of coffee in front of her. “Cream or sugar?”

  “I take mine straight black.”

  “Of course you do; you’re American.” he snickered. He then leaned over to hand her a small plate of scrambled eggs. Kelsey slowly sipped her coffee and struggled with the eggs, trying her best to get them in her system. As she sat in silence picking at the eggs with her fork, Gareth made himself two eggs over easy and two slices of toast. He grabbed his plate and nearly dropped it when he heard his name, “Gareth!” Kelsey exclaimed. He already knew what she was thinking, and so as he turned to face her, he gave her a look of reassurance. “Mum won’t be worried. She knew that we were together and that I would watch out for you.” Kelsey’s shoulders immediately relaxed, but the questions were all over her face.

  “Will she be disappointed?” Kelsey asked in a low voice. Gareth took the seat at the bar next to her and, with a perplexed tone, responded, “Why in the world would that even matter?” There was an awkward pause between them until Gareth spoke up. “For the record, no she would not be disappointed, but why does it matter what she thinks? You’re a grown woman, you didn't bring any strange men back to her home, and you have more than proved that you are a trust-worthy guest and, more importantly, a friend. Dis
appointment is the last thing you are going to have to worry about.”

  Kelsey looked back down at her eggs as her fork continued to dance over them. Removing her sunglasses, she looked up at Gareth and reached over to touch his arm while he ate his breakfast. As he tried not to drop his fork, he turned to face her. “Gareth, I need to apologize to you.” He sat there, listening intently, locked in her gaze and trying to convince himself that his arm was not on fire where she rested her hand. “Jason and I did have an argument last night, and while that does not excuse my behavior, I used the alcohol to escape the situation. And, honestly Gareth, I just wanted to not be me last night. I’m always the responsible one. Normally I don’t mind that, but last night I needed to let go.”

  By the time she was done talking, Gareth could not help notice that her hand was still on his arm as she looked out the window. He knew that he was being given a moment here with her that he might not ever experience again, and he took it in completely. He let the sun bounce off her brown hair and turn it to a caramel and then caught the green flecks in her hazel eyes. Like a hot iron he allowed that memory to sear into his mind. It was a stolen moment that was would now be his cherished memory.

  “Kelsey, can I ask you a question?”

  She came out of her trance and lifted her hand. “Of course,” she said clearing her voice.

  “How is it possible that you are eighteen?” A little unsure of how to take his question, she took a deep breath as if going to answer and then paused. “I’m not sure I understand the question.”

  “It’s just that you’re eighteen, and yet, you don’t act like the average eighteen-year-old. Not to mention, what eighteen-year-old finds the love of her life so young these days? How do you know Jason is the one?”

  With no hesitation in her response, Kelsey made direct eye contact with him. “Gareth, the day I met Jason my world went from being lived in black and white to full-blown color.” Gareth sat in stunned silence. “Does that answer your question?” Gareth pushed himself up from his chair, picked up their plates, scraped the food off in the receptacle, and placed them in the sink. He could barely share his response because he did indeed understand the full gravity of her analogy. “Yes, Kelsey, you answered my question.”

  Looking out the window and across the lawn where he saw a late morning pickup game of football starting, he had half a mind to run out and join them. Taking a moment, he reminded himself that, as painful as letting her go was going to be, he needed to make memories with her. The kind of memories that would get him through the dark days when she was gone. He turned from the window to face her, and in a voice that was filled with hope he asked, “Kelsey, what are you doing tomorrow?”

  March 2015

  The Reunion Continues

  They both stood in stunned silence. Both taking each other in. It took Gareth right back to the first day he laid eyes on Kelsey. The day he met her at his parents’ home in York, England. Her eyes were still the captivating hazel but had a shadow of sadness. Her hair was still a caramel brown sprinkled with a few grays, but her electric smile that would reach from ear to ear was diminished. Gareth immediately knew something had taken place in her life. Something had happened to his Kelsey. Forming her words took great effort, but in a low and confused voice she spoke, “Gareth, what are you doing here?”

  “I live here now. You’re looking at the new Division Chief of Cardiology at EVMS.” His tone was light and hopeful as he tried to read her facial expression. Another moment of awkward silence slipped by when Jon, Kelsey’s co-worker, walked up to her. “Everything okay, Kelsey?” he asked, snapping her out of the silence. She looked at Jon, then looked at Gareth, and before Gareth could react, Kelsey abruptly excused herself pushing herself through both men and running off the floor. “Kelsey, wait. Please!” Gareth almost felt panicked.

  Jon quickly stepped in front of Gareth. “Are you a friend of hers?” he asked.

  “Yes, but it’s been a long time. I just need to talk to her!”

  Jon put his hand up. “She’s still recovering,” he said calmly but firmly.

  “Recovering from what?” Gareth asked in a curt tone.

  “Her story to tell, not mine. If you’re a friend, then you can ask her later, in the mean time, I would suggest that you give her some space.” After a brief moment of eye contact, Jon walked off the floor to look for Kelsey. Gareth left the store confused as the American girl that he never got over in the summer of 1995 had suddenly reappeared into his life. She was broken and sad, and Gareth had to find out why.

  “Kelsey? Are you in there?” Jon asked as he softly knocked on the door. He could hear sniffling on the other side of the door and finally heard a small “Yeah, I’m here. I’ll be out in a minute.” Jon waited by the door for his friend. When he heard the lock click, he stepped back. As Kelsey stepped out, she looked up with red eyes and nose and shrugged her shoulders. “Did not see that coming.”

  “Who was he?”

  “Well assuming he did not turn into an asshole later on in life, he was a dear friend from my past, Gareth Blythe. No, wait, correction. Dr. Gareth Blythe, from York, England. I was a guest in his home as a foreign exchange student when I graduated high school.”

  Jon laughed, “You did not seem to be happy to see him; when I looked over and saw you, you were white as a sheet.”

  Kelsey blew out a deep breath. “I probably confused the shit out of him and maybe even hurt him, which he didn't deserve. I’m sure he has no idea what has happened to me in the past year.”

  Jon let out a snort, “Does he not watch the news?”

  “If he just arrived to America, then he may have no clue.”

  Jon didn't pull any punches with his next question; he knew how to keep the conversations real as Kelsey had done the same for him when his fiancé called off their wedding the year before Kelsey’s life had changed so drastically. “He said he was a friend—didn't you stay in touch?”

  Kelsey let a half smile reach her lips and kept her eyes on the ground almost recalling the moment. “He was in love with me. He tried to convince me to stay in England, but I’d given my heart to Jason, and I had a life waiting to start when I returned home.

  Jon looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “Ah, I see. So you figured time and space would remove that. What about eventually finding him on Facebook?”

  “I wasn’t about to look for a man who’d been in love with me, Jon. I wouldn't have wanted my husband to do that if the roles had been reversed. My marriage was sacred to me. Gareth and his mother had been beyond wonderful and kind to me while I was in York. I have many amazing memories with them both. Gareth was my friend, but he wanted more, and I was unable to give it to him. So the day I said goodbye, I got on the plane and never looked back.”

  Jon sat and waited a moment before he responded. “Well, he is back now, and I can tell he left with a lot more questions than answers.”

  “I know he’ll be back, but maybe he’ll give me some space. I cannot handle dealing with him and this upcoming trial. I will lose what I have left of my precious mind if he does.”

  Jon laughed as he leaned over and kissed the top of her head and gave her a reassuring hug. “You’re stronger than you realize, Kelsey. Even if he turns back up sooner rather than later, you’ll be fine.” Jon released her and walked away, leaving Kelsey to blow another round of air out of her lungs while she murmured, “I’m glad you think so.”

  Gareth drove back to his apartment in a daze. Even after all these years, he never forgot about that summer with Kelsey. He knew that she lived in Virginia, and near a beach, but never bothered to ask her the exact city, mostly because he never wanted to be tempted to come find her. He loved her more than any girl who had ever walked into his life. Even with the bevy of women he’d been with after Kelsey was long gone, it was always nothing and continued to be nothing more than sex. He was just never interested in a committed relationship. Well there was one, Cora. He thought he loved her, and he knew she wante
d more, but after two years, he knew he could give her the ring she wanted, but not the love he knew was possible. Cora deserved that love, and so he ended it.

  He arrived at his new home in the Riverview building. Unlocking the door to this ultra chic, one-bedroom studio, he flipped on the lights and tossed his bags and keys on the tabletop bar. Grabbing a beer out of the fridge, he proceeded outside to the enormous deck with a gorgeous view of the Elizabeth River. Plopping down onto the deck chair, he took a long hard swig of the cold liquid and placed the bottle on the side table. Sitting up with his arms on his knees, Gareth ran his hands through his dark hair over and over trying to come to terms that he had indeed, twenty years later, come face to face with the only girl he ever truly loved. He desperately wanted to know what had happened to her resilient smile and why there was so much sadness in her eyes.

  As he stared out, he watched the tug boats push the barges down the river and was immediately transported in time to the weekend when he took Kelsey to the picturesque town of Godshill, on the Isle of Wight. Looking out over the water took him back to the day they walked the beach of Shanklin. That day almost didn’t happen as the night before the truth about his feelings had been realized. He remembered what she wore that day, her bright hazel eyes that dazzled against the ocean. It was a memory that got him through the dark days.

  After spending twenty minutes letting the memories wash over him, he decided to get up and take a shower with the hopes of getting a decent night’s rest. As he made his way back to his bedroom, he flipped on the television. He turned the volume up to listen to the local news. As he undressed and turned on the shower, he walked back into his bedroom when he heard the newscaster spout the name Jason Bauer, the murdered local businessman of Bauer Commercial Construction and deceased husband of Kelsey Chapman Bauer. They played B-roll of Kelsey walking out of the Federal Courthouse in Virginia Beach with her lawyer who quickly ushered her to a waiting car. Gareth immediately sat on the edge of the bed, stunned but finally able to make sense of it all. The sadness, the tired weariness that he saw were indeed from an event that had happened in her life. He needed the details. He knew that Kelsey loved Jason more than anything. When did this happen? How did this happen? He knew he could Google it, but he wanted to hear it from Kelsey directly. Gareth knew that if she were in front of him right now, it would be all he could do not to pull her into him. Just to hold her and make all the pain go away, even if it was only for five minutes.