by Anton, Sandy
Finally, he looked at her, a wry smile on his face. “It's been a long time since I've been with a woman. I mean, in a relationship, not just physically. And it's never gone very well. I guess I'm not very good at relationships.”
Hearing the words, spoken in such a degree of sadness as they were, made Jenna's chest feel like it was weighed down with rocks. She reached up to caress his cheek, where a slight shadow of stubble was growing.
“I don't have the best track record either,” She admitted. “But if we're both willing...”
She trailed off, not knowing what else to say. All of this had happened so quickly. Twelve hours ago it had just been another day of editing videos and taking walks down to the grocery store, and now she'd not only had sex with her upstairs Dom, but she was falling for him- hard.
Fernando rested his hand on hers and turned his face to kiss her palm. “You are a gift to the world, Jenna Smith.”
“That's the pot calling the kettle black,” She grinned.
“I want to take you out; show you the city. I want to take you to a fancy restaurant and have every man in there watch jealously as I take your coat off and push in your chair. I want to take you to parties and have you meet all my friends. I want to stay inside with you all day and find out every last thing about every single year of your life.”
Jenna gasped for breath. How on Earth did the man manage to be so freaking romantic? “It almost sounds like you're asking me to be your girlfriend,” She responded.
Fernando bit his lip, and a little-worried line appeared between his brows. Jenna laughed. “Because if you are,” She continued, “Then I'm going to say yes.”
He grinned, his face lighting up like a lamp had just been turned on it. “Then consider this as me officially asking.”
Quickly, his lips pressed against hers again, his hands wound through her hair, and Jenna let her weight fall against the mattress, collapsing into the perfection of the moment.
Chapter 10
Jenna paused, holding Fernando's key in the palm of her hand. On the other side of the door, she could hear some soft Jazz- Fernando's favorite genre- playing. She bit her lip, an ocean full of emotions swirling around inside of her.
She and Fernando had been dating for almost two weeks, and it had mostly been great. He knew all the best places to go in the city, including the hottest rooftop bars and the most underground comedy clubs. Fernando was suave, attentive, and had a great sense of humor. And, oh yeah- he was as hot as a man could get.
So why had him giving her a key to his apartment that morning made her feel so... Confused?
He'd put his Dom business on hold for her, even though she hadn't asked him to. But he'd insisted that he wasn't comfortable bringing women into his apartment now that he had Jenna in his life. She'd found his relinquishing of his side business a bit relieving, yes, but she also hadn't wanted him to change his whole life around for her.
Then again, she'd told him- after their first night together- that she wanted to be his girlfriend. So what was the problem?
She was scared to commit after Brad, her sleazy ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her a year ago. That was it. She knew it.
Jenna had taken months to get over Brad, and afterwards, she'd told herself that she wasn't going to commit to one guy for a while- not until she found someone that she knew was the one. She didn't want to go through heartbreak again.
It didn't matter that every day Fernando did something else to make it, even more, likely that he could be that special one. Jenna didn't know for sure that he was and that just made things too hard.
She reached her hand out, ready to put the key in the lock when the door opened. Fernando stood there; bare-chested save for a kitchen towel draped over one shoulder. He had on flannel pajama pants, and his black, wavy hair was slightly damp. The smell of onions cooking wafted over his shoulder.
Jenna laughed. “Don't you know you're not supposed to cook naked? You could do some serious damage that way.”
Fernando grinned; displaying a dazzling set of white teeth, and ran a hand through his wavy black hair. “I guess it's good I'm not completely naked. Although if you want me to be...”
He trailed off and stepped aside to allow her to enter his apartment. “I got home earlier than I thought I would,” He continued. “Are you hungry?”
Jenna nodded and dropped her purse on the floor next to the couch. “Starving,” She said, before collapsing face first onto the cushion.
Another good thing about Fernando? The man could cook- like really cook. He would probably be capable of being a chef at a five-star restaurant. For Jenna, who'd mostly subsisted on frozen entrees and semi-moldy fruit from the corner bodega, having a boyfriend who cooked was like a God send.
And still she wasn't completely happy. Maybe something was wrong with her.
She reached for the TV remote. She didn't want to think about this anymore right now. She was just making herself unhappy.
Fernando hummed along to the jazz as he stepped into the kitchen. I'm thinking about this too much, Jenna decided, as she flipped through channels. I should lighten up and enjoy what I have.
Absentmindedly, she surfed channel after channel. Spaghetti western? Nope. Documentary on whales? Nuh-uh. All day John Hughes marathon? Now that was something she could go for.
She turned the volume up and slipped her shoes off. She was trying to get comfortable, but, still, there was a knot of unease in her stomach. There she was, lounging around on a couch while one of the most attentive and attractive men in the world cooked her dinner in the next room. She was crazy not to be happy.
Frustrated, she turned the TV off.
“On second thought,” She said, sitting up and raising her voice. “I actually would like to see you cook naked.”
He didn't respond, and Jenna wondered briefly if he hadn't heard her- or if her request had rubbed him the wrong way.
But then a pair of flannel pajamas pants came flying through the doorway to land right on her head. Jenna giggled as she pulled them off. Now she was feeling better.
“If you want a show you're gonna have to come in here and claim a front row seat,” came Fernando's voice.
Jenna laughed even harder as she bounded up and practically skipped into the kitchen.
Fernando swayed to the music, pulling Jenna closer to him. Behind them, light from the West Harlem Street snuck in through the living room window.
The last two weeks had been the best of his life, and he still didn't completely understand what was happening. Jenna had come into his life like a hurricane that had never even appeared as a blip on the radar map. And now, with each passing day, he felt more and more like a different man.
Never before had he been able to imagine having someone in his life who he could trust, love, and depend on. Women were fun to be around- to control in the way that he always had. But lifelong partners?
For a foster system kid like Fernando, who'd never been told 'I love you' by anyone, that kind of life had been nothing but a far-off mirage. Until almost two weeks ago, when the murky vision had suddenly started to shimmer and solidify. Now it was taking on a clear form, and it was all because of Jenna.
He ran his hand up her back, resting it against her dark-gold hair. Fernando had thought his life was full before Jenna, but now he realized he just hadn't had a clue.
“Lay down on the couch,” Fernando said, before adding another word. “Please.”
Jenna smirked. It was still funny to hear him be so polite. Their very first night together, after all, he'd played Dom, bossing her around and telling her what to do. But they hadn't assumed those roles since that night, and all of their subsequent lovemaking had been gentle and sweet.
Easing onto her back, Jenna reclined on the couch. “What are we doing?” She asked.
“Oh, nothing.”
She could barely see him in the dimness of the room, with the only light coming from in the kitchen, but she saw that he was smiling. Sitting nex
t to her, he reached his hands over and unbuttoned her jean short shorts. They came off quick, and her panties followed suit.
Teasingly, he ran his fingers up and down the length of her slit. Jenna sighed and closed her eyes. Fernando had a way with- well, everything when it came to a woman's body. Already she was wet and aching for him to be inside of her.
“I want you,” She whispered.
“Hmm,” He responded, pretending to mull it over. “I'll have to give some thought to that. What about this?”
He lowered his mouth to her clit and gently stroked it with his tongue. Jenna gasped.
“I'll settle for that,” She answered, in between moans.
Fernando didn't answer, being too busy with other things.
Chapter 11
Jenna blinked her eyes and rolled over, throwing an arm over Fernando- or at least what she'd thought was going to be Fernando. Her arm, instead, landed on a pillow. Languidly sitting up, she surveyed the empty room. Resting on the bedside table was a white sheet of paper. She grabbed it, eager to see what the note said.
Lover,
Got called to work early. Big water case is taking a lot of energy. May end up working overtime tonight. Will text. Make yourself comfortable. Already made you coffee.
X,
Fernando.
Jenna smiled. It was a sweet note. Everything about Fernando was sweet. And that was what made her reservations so much worse.
It was likely that she didn't deserve him after all. Maybe sooner or later he would figure that out. For now, though?
Well, for now she was going to have some coffee, then she was going to go to her apartment to shower and do her video for the day. After that, she had an interview downtown with a women's magazine. An actual famous women's magazine- as in, one of the publications that Jenna herself had spent her teenage years reading religiously.
In general, things were going great on the career front. Views had been sky-rocketing over the last couple weeks, and just yesterday she had received an invitation to do a one day segment for one of New York's local news stations.
Jenna rolled out of bed and stretched. Yep. Things were looking up. She needed to count her blessings and not forget that.
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she walked across the bedroom. She had on one of Fernando's white t-shirts and a pair of his boxers. She brought the shirt up to her face to take in his familiar scent.
In the kitchen, not only was there a fresh pot of coffee made, with a mug and a spoon already set out, but there was a pink rose resting in a slender vase. Jenna leaned against the counter and fingered the flower's petals. How could she ever be expected to compete with Fernando? The man went above and beyond.
The sound of the doorbell buzzing interrupted her thoughts. Jenna froze. Who would be stopping by so early? And should she even answer it? It wasn't her apartment, after all.
Then again, it was her boyfriend's apartment...
The bell sounded again, and then a female's voice came through the door. “Yoo-hoo! Fernando, honey! I've got your book!”
Honey?
Jenna furrowed her brows. She did not like the woman's choice of words. Yep. She was definitely answering the door now.
She stomped across the apartment, intending to tell whatever woman was out there that not only was Fernando not home, but his Dom services had been recently discontinued (sure, Jenna had told Fernando that he didn't have to quit for her, but having a woman come to the door looking for him suddenly made the reality a bit much to handle).
Jenna swung the door open, her mouth already open to say 'Sorry, not sorry,' when she came face to face with a little old lady who was eighty years old if she was two.
Jenna laughed out loud, and then quickly covered her mouth with her hand. The woman's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Oh! Sorry dear,” She said. “I was just bringing by Fernando's copy of Kerouac. Is he home?”
Jenna shook her head, suddenly feeling both incredibly ashamed by the angry way she'd answered the door and by the fact that she was dressed in men's undergarments. “He left for work all right.”
“Oh.” The woman looked disappointed. “And I walked all the way down the block.”
Jenna's heart melted. “Why don't you come in?” She asked. “Would you like some coffee?”
The woman's face brightened. “Sounds lovely.”
Jenna stood aside as the lady shuffled in. “I'm Kate Winslow. I live two buildings away.”
“Nice to meet you. I'm Jenna Smith. Fernando's girlfriend.”
“Oooh,” Kate exclaimed, stopping to gape over her shoulder at Jenna. “Interesting.”
“Um, yeah. I guess.”
Jenna scurried ahead of Kate to pull the old lady out a chair and retrieve another mug. “Cream? Sugar?”
“Just cut mine with water, please. Everyone makes coffee too strong these days.”
Jenna smiled as she opened the fridge to get herself some half and half. This old lady was entertaining. After pouring two mugs of coffee (and cutting Kate's with water), Jenna turned to take a seat with the lady at the tiny table.
“What book are you bringing back?” Jenna asked, blowing on her steaming mug.
“Big Sur,” Kate replied excitedly, before reaching into her tote bag (which Jenna was pretty sure was a Forever 21 one) and pulling out the book. “I recommend it.”
“Cool. Maybe I'll read it.”
Jenna glanced at the clock above Kate's head. She figured she had ten or twenty minutes to shoot the shit before she had to go shower. Besides, it was nice having someone to talk to. Working for yourself in your apartment all day, while everyone else was out, could get pretty lonely.
“You must be an amazing woman,” Kate said.
Jenna laughed, nearly spitting out some coffee. “Why's that?”
“Well, it's pretty obvious that you're comfortable in Fernando's apartment.” She nodded at Jenna's attire, and heat rose in Jenna's cheeks. Nothing like the little old lady from down the block knowing you were knocking boots.
Kate continued. “He told me that he never had women stay over here.”
Jenna ran a finger along the rim of her mug. “Yeah, but he's had girlfriends before, right?... How long have you known him?”
Kate squinted her eyes, thinking hard. “I've known Fernando, let's see... Three years, I believe. And no, I can't remember any girlfriends. So not since I've known him. He told me he was no good with women.”
Jenna laughed. She assumed that Kate knew nothing about the late-night Dom business.
“Well, it's sweet of you, but I'm not that special.”
“You must be. He lets you stay here all by yourself. Fernando trusts hardly anybody.”
Jenna took a moment to think about that. Of course, it really shouldn't come as a surprise. After growing up in the foster system as he did- being discarded time and time again- why should he trust anyone?
“Has he asked you to marry him yet?”
Jenna laughed. “We haven't been dating for very long.”
Kate took a slow sip of her coffee. “Yes, but when a man like Fernando finally finds that one special lady...” She trailed off.
“Then what?” Jenna asked.
“It'll happen, honey.” She reached across the table to pat Jenna's hand. “Don't you worry.”
Oh, I'm not worried, Jenna thought. She wanted to tell Kate that it wasn't 1949 anymore, and some women were perfectly fine with not getting married. She decided better of it, though. Instead, she just smiled and nodded before taking another sip of coffee.
“And what do you think of his dominatrix business?”
This time, Jenna really did spit out her coffee- all across the table. “Excuse me?” She gasped. Had Fernando told this sweet old lady that he whipped naked women as a hobby?!
Kate nodded, a knowing look on her face. “Pretty interesting, huh? Are you all right with it?”
Jenna stammered, trying to get the words out. “Well, he uh- he actually
quit. I didn't ask him to, but he said that he wanted to. He said he wasn't comfortable keeping that going with me in his life.”
“Oooh!” Kate squealed like she was ten.
“What?”
“Oh, honey, you keep a lookout.”
This lady is wild; Jenna thought to herself. “A lookout for what?”
“For that ring.”
Jenna blinked hard, and her heart rate nearly doubled. “You mean an engagement ring?”
Kate nodded. “A man doesn't just change of his own accord for anyone. Trust me, honey. In no time at all you'll be Mrs. Gomez.”
Jenna took a deep breath, but it did nothing to ease the panic collecting in her chest. Mrs. Gomez?
Feeling lightheaded, she stood up. “Well, this has been great, but I have to go down to my apartment and shower. I'll put Fernando's book in his room for you.”
“All right honey,” Kate responded, heaving herself out of her chair.
“Let me get the elevator for you,” Jenna offered, helping Kate to steady herself. The woman looked like she'd tumble right down the stairs if she attempted to take them.
“You're a sweet girl,” Kate said, beaming at Jenna. “Fernando will be lucky to have you have his babies.”
Jenna swallowed hard. Babies? Okay, Kate was seriously freaking her out now.
“Well, we'll see,” She answered, slowly leading Kate to the door.
Babies, babies... Mrs. Gomez. The words spun around in Kate's head, and she wanted to knock them out of there.
“You love him, don't you?” Kate asked suddenly.
“Yes. I do.”
“So there you go,” Kate said, like it was that simple.
If only, it was.
Chapter 12
Fernando rolled the stress ball in his hands and propped his feet up on the desk. The office was quiet, almost everyone having just cleared out for their lunch break. Opting to stay in so he could get some work done, he'd just placed a delivery order over the phone to the Chinese place down the block. It had been a productive day already, but he wanted to get as much done as he could so that he could maybe leave at a decent time and get home to spend the evening with Jenna.