A Disguise to Die For

by Diane Vallere

  “Black Jack told me it was me or you.” The tears from last night returned, filling my eyes and overflowing down my cheeks. “Where is he now?”

  “In jail. Where he’ll be for a long time, thanks to you.”

  I leaned back against the pillows and thought about what had happened in the past twenty-four hours. Detective Nichols and company had taken Black Jack into custody. I’d given my statement before the police cleared out. The last of my energy had been spent scaling the steps, showering, and falling into bed.

  “Do you think your job will understand if you stay away for a few more days while we wrap everything up here?” my dad asked.

  “About my job,” I started. He patted my hand, and I said what had been on my mind for the past few days. “When you were in the hospital in Moxie, you said you were willing to give up the store. And everybody keeps telling me how you want to go out around the country and scope out costumes for the shop. It’s what makes you feel alive.” I turned my hand over and squeezed his fingertips.

  “Margo,” he said, “the heart attack changed my priorities.”

  “It changed mine too. I want you to live the life you want to live, but I’m not ready to let the costume shop go. Not for a long time. I want to stay here and run the store.”

  “This isn’t what I wanted for you.”

  “You always said you wanted me to find out what I wanted for myself. This is it.” I leaned forward and told him about my ideas for displays and marketing, about how Kirby had approached the set designer of his school’s drama club about painting backdrops for our windows, and how we could create themed party packs for people who didn’t have their own ideas. I told him about Willow and the Conehead costumes and the medical uniforms that I’d learned about from the crime scene cleanup crew.

  “You’ve really been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you?”

  “I’m a thirty-two-year-old woman who likes to dress in costume. I think running Disguise DeLimit just might be the perfect job for me.” Soot walked across the bed and butted his head into my dad’s hand. I looked around the room, confused. “Where’s Ivory?”

  “Ivory is out front with his owner.”

  “Ebony’s here?” I asked. I threw the covers back and winced at the pain that shot through me.

  “Join us when you’re ready. She’s not going anywhere.”

  I climbed out of bed and glanced in the mirror. I had a black eye—or rather, a purple, green, and yellow eye. There was pretty much only one costume that would hide it. I dressed in a pair of black leggings and a loose white puffy shirt, and then, after brushing my hair, slipped a black leather pirate’s patch over my head.

  Ebony was in the kitchen with my dad. I threw my arms around her and she squeezed back tightly, as though she thought she’d never have the chance to hug me again.

  “Now things can get back to normal.” She looked around and knocked on a wooden spatula. Today her Afro was pulled back into a puff on top of her head. She wore large gold hoop earrings, a latte-colored silk dress, and strappy gold sandals that laced up her calves.

  “You’re still missing something,” I said. I picked the medallion from the table and hung it around her neck. “Now things are back to normal.”

  Immediately her fingers rubbed the metal. I thought about Willow’s theory and knew, no matter how confident Ebony appeared to be, her medallion gave her strength.

  “You never told me where you got that necklace,” I said.

  “My mother gave it to me before she died,” she said. She looked at the metal, raised it to her lips, and tucked it into the neckline of her dress. “Now before you go hammering me with a hundred questions, sit down and relax.”

  “Why are you both up here? Shouldn’t someone be downstairs running the store?”

  “Kirby’s down there. He said he didn’t mind watching over things as long as you were up here.”

  Since everything ended last night, I couldn’t stop thinking about giving up my job in Las Vegas and moving back to help run the store, but it bothered me that I hadn’t bonded with Kirby the way everybody else had.

  “You guys wait here. There’s something I have to do,” I said.

  I found Kirby by the accessory wall, restocking neon fishnets and brightly colored plastic earrings. “Can we talk for a second?” I asked.

  “Sure.” He set the box down and looked at me. “Your dad told me what happened here last night. I can’t believe Black Jack was holding you at gunpoint.” He looked down at the toe of his black Converse sneaker. “I wish I’d had more of a chance to get to know you.”

  “You’ll get that chance. I’m leaving my magician’s assistant job and moving back to Proper. I’m going to work right here.”

  “That’s why I’m looking for another job.”

  “Kirby, I know I don’t have a lot of experience being the boss, but did I do something to offend you?” I asked.

  “Offend me?” He seemed confused. “No.”

  “Then why do you want to quit?”

  “I don’t. But I know there’s only enough work here for two people, and I figured it would be you and Jerry.”

  I couldn’t believe how badly our signals had crossed. “My dad’s not healthy enough to work, not yet. But when he does make a full recovery, he’s going to head out around the country and look for new costumes for the store, like he did with the alien costumes from Area 51. I’m going to need somebody to help me run things here, and I was hoping that somebody could be you.”

  “Really? I could use the money,” he said. His eyes lit up.

  “Not just a few hours here and there, but something more regular. A permanent schedule. Do you think you could do that?”

  “That would be awesome!” he said, and then, as if embarrassed by his enthusiasm, he thrust his fists into the front pockets of his baggy jeans. “Thanks, Margo. You’re pretty cool,” he added.

  High praise coming from a seventeen-year-old. We shook on the deal, and then he handed me a package wrapped in plain brown paper. “I almost forgot. This came in the store’s mail, but it’s addressed to you so I didn’t open it.”

  In lieu of a return address, the package said $+∆=? Money plus change equals possibility. Money Changes Everything.

  “Anything important?” Kirby asked.

  “Yes, I think it probably is.” I started back up the stairs. Halfway up I stopped and watched Kirby pick the dune buggy magazine out of the trash bin, dust it off, and open it to a dog-eared page.

  I carried the package to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. I pressed my ear to the door for a few seconds to make sure I was completely alone before I tore into the paper.

  Inside the wrapping was a plain white shoe box. I opened the lid and found a furry brown teddy bear with a note pinned to his chest.

  Dear Margo,

  This bear needs a home.

  (He also needs a costume.)

  Welcome back to Proper City!

  Love,

  Bobbie Kay

  I thought about Bobbie and her teddy bears, Tak Hoshiyama and his family’s restaurant, and Ebony and Shindig. All over Proper City were people who had decided that a little desert town inspired by fairy tales and designed by city planners was the place they wanted to call home. Even the wealthy families had put down roots in Christopher Robin Crossing instead of moving to a more status-conscious city.

  The people who lived here were a lot like me: friends, neighbors, people who wanted to dress up for the sheer fun of it. As long as people lived in Proper City, Disguise DeLimit would be A-OK. And maybe, with a store full of costumes at my disposal, I’d be okay too.

  Disguise DeLimit Costume List: Blitz Manners’s Detective Party

  Columbo

  Rockford

  Kojak

  Nancy Drew (1930s)

  Nancy Drew (1950s)r />
  Mr. Moto

  Nick Charles (The Thin Man movies)

  Nora Charles (The Thin Man movies)

  Ironside

  Remington Steele

  Cannon

  Magnum, P.I.

  Bob-Whites: Trixie Belden

  Bob-Whites: Honey Wheeler

  Bob-Whites: Jim Frayne

  Bob-Whites: Mart Belden

  Bob-Whites: Brian Belden

  Judy Bolton

  Tom Swift

  Cherry Ames, school nurse

  Three Investigators: Jupiter Jones

  Three Investigators: Pete Crenshaw

  Three Investigators: Bob Andrews

  Philip Marlowe

  Sam Spade

  Hardy Boys: Frank

  Hardy Boys: Joe

  Miss Marple

  Veronica Mars

  Hercule Poirot

  Shaft

  Inspector Clouseau

  Sherlock Holmes (classic)

  Sherlock Holmes (BBC/Benedict Cumberbatch)

  Sherlock Holmes (CBS/Jonny Lee Miller)

  Sherlock Holmes (steampunk/Robert Downey Jr.)

  Encyclopedia Brown

  Mike Hammer

  Perry Mason

  Ace Ventura, pet detective

  Recipes

  HOSHIYAMA FRIED RICE

  (serves 2–4, depending on hunger)

  2 tbsp. sesame oil

  2 tbsp. butter

  2 cloves garlic, minced

  2 scallions, sliced

  2 cups cooked rice

  ½ carrot, diced

  1 stalk of celery, diced

  1 cup bean sprouts

  Soy sauce

  1 egg

  Sesame seeds

  1. Heat sesame oil and butter in skillet. Add minced garlic and scallions and raise temperature to medium. Cook for about 2 minutes. Push mixture to side of skillet.

  2. Raise temperature to high. Add rice, stir-fry for 1 minute. Add vegetables. Add 1 tbsp. of soy sauce. Mix well and cook for additional 1–2 minutes. Push everything to sides of skillet, leaving room in center of pan.

  3. Beat egg slightly and pour into center of skillet. When egg begins to set, scramble and combine with rice mixture.

  4. Add additional splash of soy sauce.

  5. Sprinkle with sesame seeds and serve.

  —

  CATCH-22 SALVADORIAN SHRIMP SALAD

  (makes 2 big salads or 4 smaller salads)

  1 lb. uncooked, peeled shrimp

  2 tbsp. butter

  1 packet Goya Sazón seasoning (for lower sodium, use 1 tsp. achiote/annatto)

  1 head lettuce (romaine, red leaf, green leaf, or iceberg)

  ½ carrot, sliced

  1 Roma tomato, diced

  1 cup jicama, sliced

  1 avocado, sliced

  ½ cup white onion, diced

  1 bunch cilantro

  1. Cook shrimp in saucepan with butter and Sazón for 3 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool.

  2. Tear lettuce onto plate.

  3. Add: carrot, tomato, jicama, avocado, white onion. Add cooked shrimp and drizzle any juices from pan on top.

  4. Garnish with cilantro leaves.

  DRESSING: FRESH SALSA ROJA (RED SALSA)

  Olive oil

  ¼ cup white onion, chopped

  1 clove garlic, chopped

  1 jalapeño, chopped

  2–3 Roma tomatoes

  1 tsp. dried oregano

  Salt

  Pepper

  ¼ cup cilantro

  1. Place all ingredients in blender.

  2. Puree until smooth. Add water if necessary.

  —

  MARGO’S EASY FRUITY PEBBLES DINNER

  Fruity Pebbles cereal

  Milk

  1. Pour Fruity Pebbles into bowl.

  2. Add milk.

  Costume Ideas

  A creative costume lies less in the construction and more in the imagination. The best way to determine a good costume is to choose a recognizable character and then identify 3–4 elements that are unique to him or her. Often it’s not only the clothes that make a costume work, but it’s the additional props that sell the concept. Here are a few examples pulled from Blitz Manners’s birthday party:

  SHERLOCK HOLMES

  1. Deerstalker hat

  2. Men’s plaid suit

  3. Tweed cape*

  4. Prop: pipe

  5. Prop: magnifying glass

  *Instructions for making an easy, no-sew, costume-appropriate cape:

  1. Buy 2 yards of fabric

  2. Fold in half (cut edge to cut edge)

  3. Fold in half again (side to side)

  4. Lay flat

  5. On the folded corner, cut a small quarter circle out of all layers

  6. Cut a large quarter circle out of all layers of the unfolded edges

  7. Unfold one time. Fabric will still be folded in half, but will now resemble a semicircle with a smaller semicircle where the head will go

  8. Cut a straight line down the center of the fabric from the neck hole to the hem

  9. Cape is complete!

  For enhanced instructions and photos, visit dianevallere.com.

  COLUMBO

  1. Men’s rumpled trench coat (suggestion: purchase from thrift store)

  2. Men’s rumpled suit in neutral color, white shirt, and black skinny tie (thrift store)

  3. Wedding ring

  4. Wet all clothes and garments, ball up, and run through dryer for extra wrinkles

  5. Prop: cigar

  6. Prop: police badge

  CLASSIC NANCY DREW

  1. Sweater set

  2. Plaid skirt (below the knee)

  3. Blond wig that falls to shoulders

  4. Cloche hat

  5. Prop: magnifying glass

  6. Prop: invitation from Ned Nickerson

  7. Prop: set of car keys labeled ROADSTER

  MISS MARPLE

  1. Turtleneck

  2. String of pearls

  3. Wool blazer

  4. Wool skirt (below the knee)

  5. Thick tights

  6. Sensible shoes

  7. Wool hat with brim

  8. Prop: magnifying glass

  9. Prop: teacup

  KEEP READING FOR A SPECIAL PREVIEW OF DIANE VALLERE’S NEXT COSTUME SHOP MYSTERY . . .

  Masking for Trouble

  COMING SOON FROM BERKLEY PRIME CRIME!

  THE LAST TIME I had been this close to an angry lab rat was high school. That time, I’d understood the rat’s anger. He’d been forced to live in close quarters with four others, and, having once shared an apartment with four girls myself, I recognized the universal crankiness that comes from the invasion of personal space.

  Today, the angry lab rat in front of me had a different reason to be upset. I’d just accidentally jabbed him in the head with a fistful of pipe cleaners.

  “Hold still,” I said. “If I don’t get these pipe cleaners in at the right angle, the ears will never stand up.” The lab rat mumbled something unintelligible. “You have to stop talking! I can’t understand you.”

  The rat reached up his arms—two furry white appendages that ended in pink oven mitts—and lifted the carefully crafted mask from his head. “You’re going to have to put more ventilation in there,” Kirby said. “I could barely breathe.”

  Kirby Grizwitz was a part-time employee of Disguise DeLimit, my family’s costume shop. After my dad’s heart attack six months ago, Kirby’s hours had become more regular, filling in his spare time between swim team practices. Usually his job responsibilities included keeping the racks straight, handli
ng rentals, and cataloging new inventory, but October was to our costume shop what April was to tax accountants, and our individual job responsibilities flexed to fit the needs of the business. Today’s need was to put the finishing touches on a giant lab rat costume for Kirby’s chemistry teacher. He’d allowed his honors class to choose his costume for this year’s Halloween, and they’d decided to go ironic. Enter Disguise DeLimit.

  “More ventilation. I can do that. But look, the ears are perfect.” I took the head from Kirby and turned it around so it faced him. He seemed unimpressed. The cowbell over the front door rang, and Ebony Welles walked in. I quickly pulled the rat head over my jet-black hair and stepped behind the register.

  Ebony was a strong black fifty-six-year-old woman in a 1970s wardrobe. She had a brushed-out Afro, a collection of bell-bottoms to rival J. J. Walker, and a white bichon frise named Ivory. I’d never known my own mother because she died in childbirth, but Ebony was like a mom to me—having stepped into the surrogate role sometime around when I was five. She and my dad had never been more than friends, though they often acted like an old married couple, especially when it came to raising me. Somewhere along the last fifteen years, her concerns had shifted from convincing my dad to raise my allowance to helping me find a nice single man and settle down.

  Ebony had enough superstitions to challenge the most powerful rabbit’s foot, and this time of year she preferred not to venture far from Shindig, her party planning business. When she did, she added what we called her “October Accessories”: a garlic necklace, silver-bullet earrings, and a rubber mallet that no one could explain except that it might help her destroy zombie brains.

  I watched her scan the interior of the store. When her eyes alighted on me, I stood straight up. She pointed a shiny black talon at me. “See, that right there is what’s wrong with this holiday. There ain’t no good reason for a giant lab rat to be running around our city.”

  I dropped down behind the counter, knocking a tray of vampire teeth into a plastic tub filled with foam clown noses. The tub spilled and round foam balls rolled across the floor. The mask shifted so I could no longer see, and, even more than before, I had trouble breathing.