Tallow Jones: Wizard Detective (The Tallow Novels Book 1)

by Trevor H. Cooley

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Ross scoffed, his teeth bared. “You saying you are a professional smoker?”

  Tallow laughed humorlessly. “The smoke is a tool, nothing more. I truly try not to inhale it. Some of the different herbs can be quite caustic.”

  “Just a minute,” Douglas said, staring at Tallow dumbfounded. “You’re serious about this. You’re saying you’re a wizard?”

  Ross gripped Tallow’s shirt tighter. “He’s joking. Toying with us. I don’t think it’s funny.”

  “I most definitely am not joking,” Tallow said, but with one glance at the anger in Ross’ face, shifted his plea. “Douglas, think about what I have done today. I would hope that the evidence speaks for itself.”

  “What evidence?” Ross snapped.

  “Well . . .” Douglas stood with arms folded, his eyes narrowed. He looked thoughtful, but dubious. “There is that thing he did with the smoke.”

  “It was just some fancy weed, like he said,” Ross explained. “Old-school forensics.”

  Douglas nodded. That was definitely possible, though it didn’t explain the way the smoke had behaved. “What about freezing Mr. Niceman?”

  Ross frowned. “Some kind of hypnosis.”

  “You think he just hypnotized him instantly?” Douglas said. As detectives, they had used hypnosis as a tool in cases before to help witnesses remember events. There was a specific procedure to get someone under and it took time. Not like stage hypnotism, which was ridiculous. Though they were talking about magic, so what was ridiculous anymore?

  “Gentlemen, if I might interject,” Tallow interjected. “Hypnosis doesn’t work that way.”

  “Shut up,” Ross replied, his hands still pinning the man to the stack. “Maybe he has hypnotized him in the past. They’ve met before. That’s how he got the guy to let us in so easily. Then he just has a trigger command he can use whenever he wants and bam!” Ross snapped his fingers. “The guy freezes in place.”

  “You are overthinking this,” Tallow said, then frowned. “Or maybe you are underthinking it . . . Anyway, I never met the man before today. It was a paralysis spell.”

  “Quiet! The grownups are talking here,” Ross said.

  Douglas pointed at the still-smoking moonrat on the floor. “What about the way he fried that . . . thing?”

  “He has a taser in that cane of his,” Ross replied lamely, though it hadn’t behaved like any taser either detective had ever seen. “Or some kind of Tesla coil type thing.”

  “And that?” Douglas pointed to the glowing orb of light overhead. It still pulsed and crackled with energy.

  “Still haven’t figured that one out,” Ross admitted. “Some kind of device . . .”

  “Ball lightning,” Tallow said. “It’s a ball lightning spell. It isn’t the most efficient way to light a room. It flickers and casts uneven shadows, but I figured I could also use it as a weapon if I needed to.”

  “Oh, come on!” Ross said. “You think I’m stupid?”

  “Just . . . watch.” Tallow stuck out his hand, palm up. The shining orb shivered, then slowly shrunk down until it was the size of an apple. He cleared his throat, and it floated down towards him. “You might want to step back, Detective Ross. You don’t want to touch it.”

  Ross let go of Tallow’s shirt and backed away warily, eyeing the ball of energy. “Just what are you planning to do?”

  The ball floated just a few inches above Tallow’s hand, and paused, tiny arcs of electricity darting about its surface. Tallow looked at Douglas. “I plan to prove myself to you. To both of you. By the time we leave this dock, you will know without a doubt that I am telling the truth.”

  “This is ludicrous,” Ross said, though he backed another step away.

  Douglas looked Tallow in the eyes. There was confidence there. Was this some kind of con? Ross was right. The whole idea was ludicrous. The whole day had been ludicrous. Yet there was still something about it all that rang true. Something in Tallow’s countenance made him want to believe.

  “I will hear you out,” Douglas decided.

  “And I will answer all your questions,” Tallow promised. He extended his hand and the orb darted towards the doorway. It expanded slightly and illuminated the area. “Ross, can you find the light switch?”

  Ross walked towards the door, eying the ball of light and muttering to himself. He suddenly stopped and pointed. “It was right by the damned door!”

  “Ah.” Tallow winced. “Sorry about that.”

  Ross flipped the switch and fluorescent bulbs fluttered to life all around the dock. The claustrophobic darkness was dispelled and the dock area now just looked like cluttered warehouse space. The stack of crates they had knocked over were mixed in with the debris from multiple boxes that had been ripped open. Douglas thought that perhaps the beast had been searching for food. Piles of travel pamphlets and papers were strewn about the floor.

  Ross rejoined them and pointed back to the ball of lightning. “What are you going to do about that thing?”

  “Oh!” Tallow gave a little half grin, raised one hand and snapped his fingers. There was a small pop and the ball flared, then dissipated. He lowered his voice a bit sheepishly and added as an aside, “By the way, snapping my fingers wasn’t really necessary. I just thought it would look cool.” He cleared his throat. “So. Questions?”

  “What do you mean by the term wizard?” Doug said, his arms still crossed, his eyes focused on Tallow’s every move.

  “I mean it exactly how it sounds,” Tallow declared. “I am a wizard in the traditional sense. I have control over certain magical elements. I use this control to cast spells.”

  “And yesterday you said you were a private detective,” Ross said with a chuckle.

  Tallow nodded. “Oh I am. I was a detective long before I became a wizard.”

  “Just a minute.” Douglas rubbed his temples as he tried to digest what Tallow was claiming. “So you’re trying to say you’re a wizard like those in fairy tales or fantasy novels? Like Merlin or Gandalf?”

  He shrugged. “Well, it’s not exactly the same. But yes, that is what I mean.”

  Ross was standing with hands on his hips, a wide grin splitting his face. “So you know Merlin?”

  Tallow laughed. “Of course not. I’m not crazy. Those characters in the fantasy novels, the wizards in the fairy tales? Those are fictional. What I am talking about is real. I am real. That-.” He tilted his head towards the dead moonrat, “is real.”

  The reminder of the moonrat wilted Ross’ smile. Douglas’ eyes remained trained on Tallow, trying to figure him out. What the man was saying was insane and yet, everything in Douglas’ life was insane lately.

  Tallow extended a hand toward Douglas pleadingly. “Douglas, I know this is a lot to absorb. You don’t have to understand it all now. You don’t have to believe all that I have told you, yet. But you will. Give me a chance to prove it.” He cracked his knuckles. “Ask me to perform a spell. Pick something.”

  “Pick a spell?” Douglas said, his jaw hanging open.

  “Yeah. Say, lightning?” Tallow made a fist and visible arcs of electricity rippled from his elbow to his knuckles. “Fire?” He opened his palm and a small ball of flame appeared above it. “I know it’s not as impressive, but I’m not as strong in fire as I am in air and earth.”

  “I think the guy’s a looney, Douglas,” Ross said and took another step back, his eyes wide. “And I think that smoke he made earlier is why we’re tripping.”

  Tallow rolled his eyes. “Come on! Think about what you’re saying. So I use hallucinogenic smoke and then am somehow able to control exactly what it is you’re seeing so that I can use it to manipulate you? That’s ridiculous.”

  “What’s ridiculous is you and what you’ve been doing since the moment I met you!” Ross barked. He placed his hand on his chest. “I am a grown man! You are seriously standing here trying to tell me that the laws of nature and physics have changed in one afternoon just be
cause you say so?”

  Tallow’s shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh. He gave Douglas a pleading look. “Douglas, all I ask is that you believe one thing. I am trying to help you find your son. That is why I’m here. I have abilities that will help in your search. You have seen that. I have shown you only a little of what I can do. There is a lot more.”

  Douglas ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he looked at the two of them. There was no making sense of any of this right now. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Let’s table this conversation and come back to it later. Right now we have a mountain of evidence in front of us. We are going to need to call in a forensics team.”

  “Yeah,” Ross said. He pulled his smart phone from the inside pocket of his suit coat. “I’ll call it in.”

  “By the way, Detective Ross,” Tallow said. “‘Looney?’ Seriously, who says looney anymore?”

  Ross gave Tallow a dull look. “I thought it was appropriate.”

  The detective swiped the lock screen on the device and Tallow grabbed his wrist.

  “Before you call in your team of experts, you should really decide what to do about that moonrat.” He pointed his cane at the creature. “A creature like that doesn’t belong in this world.”

  Ross jerked his arm out of Tallow’s grasp. “If that thing is not of this world, what does that make you?”

  “Oh, I am from this world. I’m just . . . well traveled,” Tallow said. “Seriously, how are you going to explain this creature to your forensics team?”

  “I say we don’t explain anything,” Douglas said.

  His eyes were fixed on the fleshy appendage at the end of the moonrat’s tail. It looked almost human, like a fat old lady hand.

  Douglas shivered. “We fill out an incident report like normal. We’ll just tell them what happened. We walked in here and were attacked by this thing. We shot it. We’ll let the department figure out how they want to handle the discovery of a giant mutant hell rat.”

  “And how will you explain the way it was electrocuted to death?” Tallow pointed out. “Your bullets didn’t kill it. They are certain to order an autopsy of the creature and they will know electricity killed it. You can have them check my cane if you want but they’re not going to find any electrical mechanism in it.”

  “Crap.” Ross lowered his phone. “He’s right. We need to get our story straight.”

  “What do you want to do? Lie to the department?” Douglas said. “It’s here. It is dead. Our bullets are in it.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, but they ain’t going to believe your uncle killed it with some kind of lightning spell.”

  “May I make a suggestion?” Tallow asked.

  “What?” Ross said. “You have a ‘make the rat thing disappear’ spell or something?”

  “Not exactly,” Tallow said. “But I can age the corpse a bit to make it look like it’s been here for a while.”

  “You can do that? Just age a corpse?” Ross looked skeptical, but in his desperation to avoid a big inquiry, he seemed to be warming up to the idea of Tallow having magical powers.

  “All I would have to do is draw moisture out of it to dry the corpse out. It sounds tricky, but I often use spells to dry ingredients,” Tallow said. “It’s the only way to make good homemade jerky.”

  “Our bullets would be in it,” Ross reminded him.

  “Getting the bullets out is the easy thing,” Tallow said. “A simple well-directed spell should do it. You would just need to pick up your casings.”

  “What do you think, Douglas?” Ross said. “If this works, they can dissect and prod and cryptozoologize the hell out of it all they want and we will have to explain nothing.”

  Douglas had been watching the two of them with disbelieving eyes. Why muddy up the situation? They were here to find evidence of Asher’s disappearance. That was the main thing. The creature was just a distraction. Douglas shook his head.

  “You two aren’t thinking things through,” Douglas said. “Niceman will give a statement and he will say we made him let us in here. The whole reason we had probable cause to come in were the sounds that thing made. A long dead creature wouldn’t have made a noise. Besides, people could have heard our guns fire.” He shook his head. “No. We need to file a report.”

  He was surprised when Tallow agreed.

  “Douglas is right, of course,” said Tallow. He walked away from the two detectives and crouched beside some crates near the moonrat’s body. He glanced over his shoulder at them. “Police officers shouldn’t be tampering with evidence. If only I had spent more time with people like you instead of conniving old wizards, I wouldn’t have even suggested it.”

  Ross narrowed his eyes. “You’re B.S.ing us, aren’t you?”

  “Only halfway,” Tallow replied. “I have actually come up with a better idea.” He stood and reached out with his cane to lift a loop of orange extension cord that had been partially concealed under a pile of scattered magazines. The cord had been halfway chewed through. “The monster gives us our own evidence.”

  “What are you suggesting?” Douglas asked.

  “Simple.” Tallow let the cord drop, took a step back and pointed his cane at it. An arc of electricity leapt from the silver tipped end of the cane and zapped the gnawed extension cord, burning it in half. The frayed ends were left blackened and smoking.

  “We need make only one small alteration to our story. The creature attacked. You fired. I shall explain that while the creature was attacking, I saw this piece of power cord that it had been chewing on, and used it to electrocute the creature. All I need to do now is plug the end in.”

  “That’s still lying,” Ross pointed out.

  “But it’s my lie. Not yours or Douglas’. You couldn’t see what happened clearly. The creature was on top of you. All you two have to say is that I electrocuted it. Besides, Detective Ross,” Tallow added, pointing a finger. “My previous idea didn’t explain those long gashes in the back of your suit coat. You are quite lucky, you know. If not for those shoulder pads, it may have torn right into you.”

  “I don’t wear shoulder pads!” Ross said. He pulled the jacket off and flipped it around, looking at the damage. “Damn. This was a gift.”

  “Ross,” Douglas said. “You’re bleeding.”

  Previously hidden by the suit coat were three long gashes high between Ross’s shoulder blades where the moonrat’s claws had latched onto him. Fortunately, the gashes weren’t too deep. The detective’s white shirt had absorbed much of the blood.

  “Let me look at that.” Tallow walked over and raised his palms about an inch above the detective’s skin.

  Ross jumped as if shocked. He jerked his shoulders away. “Don’t you dare zap me! I’m fine. It’s just a scratch is all. I didn’t even notice it until now.”

  “I wasn’t zapping you. You were just feeling my magical energies probing the wound,” Tallow said.

  Ross’ mouth twisted and he took a few steps back. “You’re not ‘probing’ me.”

  “I told you that moonrats were filthy creatures,” Tallow reminded him. “The scratches may not be deep, but if they become infected, and they will, you could get very sick.”

  “I’ll tell them to send an EMT when I call this in.” Ross’ said. He paused as he made a realization. His shoulders slumped and with a wince, he added, “I am not looking forward to the rabies shot.”

  “I could heal it fully if you wanted me to, but at least let me disinfect it,” Tallow insisted. “I know what to do in this case. Your EMT’s have never treated a wound made by a beast like this.”

  “Whatever. This is Atlanta. You have no idea the kind of crap our EMTs have to treat. I’ll have them disinfect the hell out of me, pump me full of antibiotics, and run whatever tests. I won’t even ask for a lollipop. But you,” Ross jabbed two fingers into Tallow’s chest for emphasis. “You ain’t touching me. Understand?”

  “I understand you.” Tallow rubbed his chest where Ross had struck. “If you change yo
ur mind, though-.”

  “I won’t,” Ross said with a glare

  “Uncle Tallow, just let it go,” Douglas said.

  “I am letting it go, Douglas,” Tallow replied, his hands held up disarmingly. “But if Ross gets a high fever and loses his sight, just come get me, okay?”

  “Shut up. I’m calling this in now,” Ross said. He lifted the phone to his ear.

  As Detective Ross called the precinct, Douglas walked around the dock, examining the paper-strewn floor along with the stacks of crates and cardboard boxes. He couldn’t lawfully open the crates to search for evidence, not without a warrant. But if he could see anything suspicious out in the open he would have probable cause to begin a search. He was confident that there was something in the dock area to prove his suspicions. There was just too much material stored in the dock for it to be legitimate storage for a travel agency.

  “It’s hard to follow the rules isn’t it?” Tallow said, sidling up to him. “I am sure you would love to just start tearing this place apart.”

  “Usually I don’t find it that difficult. The rules are the rules. It isn’t hard to follow them because if you don’t, the bad guys get away.” Douglas continued his visual search of a collapsed pile of boxes, careful not to touch anything. “But right now? Holding back is killing me.”

  “Isn’t the dead moonrat evidence enough to get a warrant to search the place?” Tallow suggested.

  Douglas considered it. “It will give us cause to search for evidence of more creatures like that one, but we might not be able to convince a judge that it’s cause to open up all the crates.”

  “When your forensics crews come in here, they will find much more than moonrat hairs,” Tallow said, keeping his voice low enough that Ross, still talking on his phone, could not hear. “It is going to take them days, maybe weeks to catalog all the trace evidence in this building. You saw the blood I revealed in the hallway and that’s just the beginning.”

  Douglas frowned. “How do you know?”