Whispers in the Sand

by Barbara Erskine

  It was as though it had never happened. She brushed her hand against her lips, confused. He was kneeling now, in front of the hamper, producing bread and hard boiled eggs and fresh white cheese and fruit.

  She shook her head in confusion. ‘How will we get back onto the Ibis?’ Suddenly that seemed important to her. She wanted to go back to the others.

  ‘You’ll see. As she comes past it will be easy.’ He heaped her plate with food for her as if she were a child and sat down a few feet away. He had not looked directly at her again.

  She glanced at the parasol. It had been moved, so that it was between the river and the spot where she had been lying. No one on the boat would have been able to see what had happened, if it had happened at all. Confused, she looked down at her plate. What appetite she had, had gone.

  Carstairs looked at her at last. ‘What is it? Don’t you like it?’

  She shrugged. ‘I’m sorry. I’m not hungry any more.’

  Setting down the bottle with which he had been topping up his own glass he moved closer to her again. ‘I hope the sun has not been too much for you?’

  ‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘No, I thrive on the sun.’

  Had she dreamt it? If she accused him of taking advantage of her, would he call her a liar?

  He was smiling again now, beside her, reaching for her hand. She tried to look away.

  ‘Louisa?’ His voice was clear above the roar of water. ‘Don’t fight it. Look at me. You know you want to.’

  She took a deep breath, staring hard at the dappling of sunlight on the water, trying to resist. ‘Roger, please –’

  ‘Look at me, Louisa. Why fight it? Look at me. Now.’ His hand over hers was ice cold. She shivered. Unable to stop herself she felt her face lifting towards his.

  ‘That’s right.’ His eyes were intensely overwhelming. She could feel herself being drawn in by them once more, her thoughts wiped from her mind, her body that of a limp, obedient doll.

  ‘That’s right. It’s so easy this way.’ He trailed his fingers lightly up her arm and took her chin between them, raising her face a little more. This time her lips parted obediently beneath his, even though her body did not respond. She was totally without defences. She knew he had moved the parasol again; then she felt him unbutton her high-necked blouse, felt him insert his hand, pushing aside the soft damp lace of her chemise as his ice-cold fingers groped for her breast. She gasped but she did not push him away.

  ‘The scent bottle, Louisa. You are going to give it to me. You are going to make me a gift of it, my darling.’ His lips were by her ear now. The words echoed in her mind. The scent bottle. A gift. The scent bottle. A gift.

  Hassan’s gift!

  Her eyes flew open. ‘No!’ She pushed him away violently. ‘No! What are you doing?’

  Scrambling up she ran a few steps on the slippery rock and felt her feet going from under her. With a gasp of fear she threw out her arm to save herself, somehow recovered her balance and stood swaying on the edge of the water.

  It was at that moment that she saw the tall figure standing between her and Carstairs.

  It remained there for a moment between them, hands outstretched, the face a mask of fury, then it was gone.

  Carstairs seemed frozen to the spot. He was as white as the foam on the water around them, trembling violently, his eyes alight, but whether with excitement or fear she could not tell …

  ‘Ahoy, Louisa! Ready to come aboard?’ A voice reached her suddenly over the roar of the rapids and she turned to see the dahabeeyah within fifteen yards of her rock. All around it suddenly were dozens of men, pulling at the ropes with which they were dragging and levering the boat up against the roaring water. Sir John raised both hands and waved. In a moment one of the crew was there on the rock with them. In seconds their belongings were being packed. In another ten the boat was close enough for her to grab the handrail of the ladder and pull herself aboard. Behind her Carstairs handed the last of the cushions up to the reis and scrambled up himself.

  ‘So, did you sketch us? Let’s see.’ Sir John held out his hand for her book. She gave it to him mutely.

  Behind her Carstairs leant forward and put his hand on her elbow. His fingers on her bare skin were like cold India-rubber.

  With a start Anna looked up. She frowned and glanced at her watch. Nearly an hour had gone by and there was no sign of Serena. Reaching for the phone she picked it up and dialled the other cabin.

  Charley answered. ‘Who is it?’ She sounded as though she had been asleep.

  ‘It’s Anna, Charley. I want to speak to Serena.’

  There was a pause, then a hollow laugh. ‘Tough. She’s not here.’

  ‘I see. When did she go out, do you know?’

  ‘I’ve no idea.’ The voice was suddenly very bored. ‘I’m not her keeper.’ And the phone was slammed down.

  Anna pursed her lips.

  Closing the diary she pushed it back into the drawer. She was making her way towards the door when there was a knock.

  Serena was standing there. One glance told Anna she had been crying.

  ‘What’s the matter? Oh, Serena!’ She caught her hand and pulled her into the room. Pushing her down to sit on the bed she stared at her for a moment then she sat down beside her. ‘Please tell me it’s not Andy. Has he been having a go at you because of me?’

  Serena shrugged, then reluctantly she gave a slight nod. ‘It’s not your fault, Anna. He’s been on the point of saying all this ever since I met him.’ She sniffed and groped in her skirt pocket for a tissue. ‘It’s just that he was so cruel.’ She looked straight ahead, her face crumpled and bewildered. ‘I’m no use to you like this, Anna.’

  Anna stared at her, aghast. Standing up she went over to the dressing table and poured a glass of water. Handing it to Serena she shrugged helplessly. ‘What did he say? Would you like to tell me?’

  ‘I doubt it. I’m sure your imagination is good enough to fill in the gaps. Basically I’m to keep my menopausal madness to myself and not come near you any more.’

  ‘Or what? Exactly what does he intend to do about it?’ Anna could feel her fury mounting.

  ‘Nothing to you, obviously.’ Serena drank the water quickly, her eyes closed, both hands clamped round the glass. ‘But he’ll make my life hell. And he can do it, believe me. He’s done it before. He comes round. He phones. He implies that I’m going round the bend. He threatens me with psychiatrists and exorcists and God knows what! It’s not worth it, Anna.’ Sighing, she put the glass down and shook her head. ‘Even if I wanted to I can’t be there for you. He’s drained every particle of confidence from me. In this state I’d be mincemeat for your priests. My only consolation I suppose is that I don’t even have enough energy now to make it worth their while trying to possess me.’

  Anna closed her eyes. The temperature in the cabin seemed to have dropped several degrees. She was thinking of Louisa and her fear. ‘What makes you think they would try to possess you?’

  ‘I’m an initiate. I probably have the kind of energy they want. If I was strong, centred, I’d be able to stand up to them. I’d be able to fight them on their own ground and maybe I’d be of some use to you.’ Serena shook her head. ‘But according to Andy I only have my self-obsessed paranoia left now. I begged him to try and see it from our angle. To try and imagine the threat to be real. To try and think what would happen if those two priests get stronger. There is no one to fight them except me.’

  ‘I can still throw the bottle away, Serena,’ Anna interrupted.

  ‘That won’t do any good! You said yourself they followed you to the dam. They’re not tied to the bottle, Anna. They are real independent beings! I don’t know why they didn’t show themselves before. Maybe they knew you would bring it back to Egypt one day. Maybe they couldn’t find enough of the right kind of energies in London. But now they have found the means to gain enough strength they are not going to jump in the river after the bottle and disappear in a plop of steam
!’

  Anna smiled involuntarily, in spite of her fear. The description conjured up a wonderful image. ‘Then you must help me, Serena. You have to. I need you. I keep thinking of Louisa; of how frightened she was.’ She stood up again, suddenly resolute. ‘I’m going to have this out with Andy right now, and get him to lay off you.’

  ‘No, please!’ Serena caught her hand.

  ‘Don’t try and stop me. I’ve had enough of his interference, I really have. We’ve both said he is a bully and you’re right, this is none of his business.’

  ‘He’s made you his business, Anna. He fancies you, and to be honest,’ she hesitated, ‘I think he fancies that diary of yours even more. At heart Andy is always the dealer first; friend or lover second. It sounds awful but he’s probably got a buyer and a price in the back of his mind already. If I’m in danger of coming between him and his turn on a swift buck I’m dead meat!’

  Anna stared at her in silence for a moment, then without another word she spun on her heel and stormed out of the cabin.

  Andy wasn’t hard to find. He was sitting on a stool at the bar, watching Ali with his cocktail shaker.

  ‘I want a word. Now.’ Anna stopped in front of him, her hands on her hips, her eyes blazing. ‘Your interference has gone far enough! It has to stop.’

  She was aware of various other people in the lounge glancing at her quickly then looking away. She took no notice of them.

  ‘So, Serena went straight to you did she?’ He scribbled his name on a chit and took the glass from Ali. He raised it to her in mock salute. ‘I just wanted to save you from getting dragged into her drama sessions. You would have thanked me, you know. But,’ he shrugged, ‘if that’s what you want. So be it.’ He took a deep swig from his glass.

  ‘It is. And I don’t want to hear that you’ve been intimidating her. For God’s sake, stop sticking your nose in! What makes you think you’ve got the right to have any say whatsoever in what I do or who I have as friends? I’ve only known you a few days!’ She was over-reacting, she knew it, but suddenly she had seen Felix in front of her, choosing her friends, dictating her life. No more. The new Anna was free and a far more powerful person than the old one.

  ‘You’ve only known Serena a few days, too,’ Andy retorted. He shook his head.

  ‘So, I’m going with my gut feelings,’ she flashed back. ‘I like her and I trust her.’

  ‘Ouch! Do I infer from that that you neither like nor trust me? I’m sorry. I’d somehow got completely the opposite impression.’

  She looked him in the eye. ‘I like you, Andy, and I’m sure I can trust you. But that does not mean I have to give my whole being into your hands; nor does it mean you can pick and choose my friends for me.’

  Andy held her gaze. ‘Similarly,’ he said softly, ‘may I remind you that I have known Serena for years. You have known her for only a very few days. My relationship with her is none of your business.’

  There was a moment’s silence.

  She stepped back and gave a small nod. ‘Touché! As long as your relationship with her doesn’t interfere with my relationship with her!’ She turned sharply away from him to find Toby standing behind her. Beside him was Charley. Toby had, Anna realised suddenly, been holding Charley’s arm.

  ‘Is this a private war?’ Toby gave her a wry grin. ‘If not, we’d like to join in –’

  He broke off as Charley lunged past him, breaking free of his restraining grip.

  ‘Andy, you bastard!’ Her words were slurred. Her eyes were unfocused, wandering past him across the room and back as though she couldn’t quite locate him. As Anna moved away she lurched forward, putting her hands out towards the bar. ‘Andy? I have to do this for the goddess Sekhmet. She needs me, Andy. She wants me.’ In the shocked silence that followed her words she stared round. ‘Andy, what’s happening?’ Her voice was suddenly quite pathetic. ‘Andy, what’s happening to me?’

  Anna turned at a slight pressure on her shoulder. It was Toby. He beckoned her away and with a hasty glance first at Charley then towards Andy, she followed him.

  ‘Andy? What’s wrong with me?’ She could still hear the pathetic high-pitched voice as they got to the door.

  ‘You’re drunk.’ Andy’s harsh rejoinder could probably be heard by everyone in the room.

  ‘No!’ She burst into tears. ‘No, I’m not. I haven’t had anything …’ Her voice trailed away. She stood for a moment, swaying slightly, then she crumpled slowly at his feet.

  ‘Leave Andy to deal with her.’ Toby ushered Anna towards the door. ‘Let’s go outside.’

  ‘She doesn’t look well.’

  Sekhmet. Had Charley really mentioned Sekhmet? She shivered. As she followed Toby out onto the shaded afterdeck she was frowning. ‘She didn’t look drunk to me.’

  ‘I don’t know that she was necessarily drunk when she kicked up all that fuss at lunchtime.’ Toby sounded thoughtful as they leant against the rail, looking out across the river. ‘There was no smell of booze. I’d say she was ill. I suppose it could be the heat.’ He shrugged. ‘Perhaps someone should have a word with Omar.’

  He turned round. ‘Andy seems to have quite a few problems at the moment one way and another. And one of them seems to be with me.’ His voice was light, casual as he changed the subject.

  She was gazing down into the water. ‘As you say, Andy has problems with a lot of people.’ She glanced up at him suddenly. ‘She did say Sekhmet, didn’t she?’

  He looked blank for a moment. ‘Who?’

  ‘Charley. Charley was talking about the goddess, Sekhmet.’

  ‘Was she? She was ranting and raving like a mad woman. It was all I could do to hold her off long enough for you to have a go at him first.’ He gave a mischievous grin. ‘Don’t read too much into anything she said. She really wasn’t with us.’

  Anna bit her lip. She was silent for a moment or two and Toby took the opportunity to study her face. ‘Can I buy you a drink before dinner?’ He stood away from the rail and glanced back towards the door. ‘I suspect they have gone by now.’

  She shook her head. ‘Thank you, but I think I’m going to go and have a quick word with Serena. I want her to know that that bastard is not going to keep me away from her.’ She paused, scrutinising Toby’s face, suddenly realising that this was the first time she’d been alone with him since Andy’s revelation. How could she have forgotten it? But so much had happened, she had ignored it, pretended she hadn’t heard. Certainly she hadn’t believed it. Had she? She frowned, her eyes on his, then she shook her head. That was not the face of a murderer. If it was, she was the worst judge of character in the entire world.

  Serena was nowhere to be found. Her cabin was in darkness, occupied solely by a quietly snoring Charley. She wasn’t in Anna’s cabin, or on the upper deck, nor was she in the still-empty dining room. Puzzled, Anna went back to her own cabin and sat down on the bed.

  Where was she? She frowned. Surely she couldn’t have gone ashore alone. The boat was not so big that someone could disappear on it. She must be in someone else’s cabin. Ben’s perhaps, or the Booths or one of the others.

  With a weary sigh she sat down on the bed. There was half an hour till dinner. She could go back in the bar and have that drink with Toby, or she could lie down and perhaps have another look at the diary, to see what happened when Louisa got back onto the boat.

  Changing out of her spray-soaked dress Louisa went back on deck to find the Forresters talking to Roger Carstairs as they looked down at the straining teams of men pulling the vessel up the rapids. Her face coloured as she saw him. She had hoped he would have gone back to his own boat which would be following them up the next day.

  He turned to look at her and she was astonished at the expression of triumphant amusement he directed at her. She could, she suddenly realised, read him like a book. He was confident, completely secure that she remembered nothing of the incident on the rocks this afternoon, and faintly mocking. She shivered and felt as she had befor
e, like a rabbit cowering before a weasel, unable to move or run. With an effort she tore her eyes away and stepped closer to Sir John, very aware of the comfort of his burly good-humoured solidity.

  ‘So, Lord Carstairs,’ she said from this position of security. ‘You are presumably going back to your own vessel this evening? I should thank you for arranging the picnic for me.’

  He bowed very slightly. His smile was a little lopsided she noticed for the first time. It gave him a vulpine look which was extremely unsettling. She felt herself shiver once again.

  Sir John noticed. He put an arm round her shoulders and gave her a brief squeeze. ‘Cold m’dear? It’s all this spray.’

  She smiled at him. ‘I am a little.’

  The night wind from the desert had not yet come and the sun, though about to disappear below the cliffs, was still radiating warmth. Only between the rocks and the low cliff faces was the air chill. The boat was calm suddenly. The men who had been manning the ropes to pull them up the rapids in the course of the day were vanishing one by one back in the direction of their villages and the splendid Nubian pilot, who had sat all day at the helm directing matters with almost regal dignity, had saluted first the reis then Sir John and finally he too had gone home. Tomorrow they would all be back for the last leg of the journey before returning to the foot of the cataract for the next vessel.

  ‘Roger has agreed to accept our invitation to dinner, m’dear.’ Sir John was beaming. ‘He will go back to his boat later. We are here for the night. We will be pulled up the last rapids tomorrow, I understand, then we’ll lie at Philae for a day or so and wait for the Fieldings to come up as well. It will be fun to go on in convoy as far as the second cataract.’

  Louisa forced herself to smile; she forced herself to say the right things and then she excused herself to go once more below. In her cabin she stretched out on the bed, exhausted and depressed, thinking about Hassan as outside the sun went down in a blaze of gold.

  The knock on the door made her sit up with a start. She must have fallen asleep. The cabin was in total darkness and as she groped for the candlestick she could see nothing around her at all. Another knock rang round the small space as the flame caught and she realised it must be Treece already, coming to help her dress for dinner. She had forgotten she had locked the cabin door. The shadows flared over the deep russets and golds of the rugs and hangings which decorated the small area as she groped her way to the door and unfastened it.