I close my eyes and remember the way it was with Sam. He wasn’t rough when he touched me, yet his touch was firm and confident. I remember the way he seemed to command my body with his mouth and hands, the way he moved his hips against me. If dominance was his intention, he was sly about it. But he could anticipate my needs, just like Monica said about Jonathan. It didn’t feel overbearing or controlling. It felt good and safe.
For the first time in a long time, I think I might have found a place where I can feel safe and protected. That place is in Sam’s arms.
What have I done?
I gotta call Sam… if he’ll even answer. Maybe I have been overthinking this. Maybe we really can find a way to be together.
I jump up to grab my phone and pause, staring at the screen, wondering if I should call or text. Call or text? Gah! My hands shake and fumble with the phone as I find his name in the list of contacts. My finger hovers over the messaging bubble, then the little phone symbol. I must have bumped the phone symbol because I hear the ringing sound coming from the ear speaker. Fuck. I’m not prepared. Text, Eve. Always, text.
“Eve.” His sexy voice barrels through the phone, and a zing of energy zips down to form a swell between my legs.
“Hey. You answered.”
“Hey. Of course I answered. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I freaked out on you. I’m sorry.”
“That was freaking out? I’ve seen worse.” He snorts and clears his throat. “I mean, not to diminish what you were feeling. But I think I get why you left. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I have so much I want to tell you. So much more than I said the other night. I ran away from my life to live here. It’s so… complicated.” Tears swell beneath my eyelids. This is hard. Opening up to him like this is so hard.
“Eve, it’s okay. There’s nothing you can say that will send me running. I adore you.”
“Sam.” Tears are flowing down my cheeks. He’s so genuine, almost too good to be true. “I adore you too. I wish I could see you tonight. I mean, duh, you probably already have plans anyway, but I’m leaving to go out of town tomorrow morning. I have to go back home and settle some things.”
“How long will you be gone?” His voice turned deep and dark.
“Two days.”
In the background, I hear the engine of his car whining as it it’s accelerating. “Sam, are you driving?”
“What’s your apartment number?”
“Why? What do you mean? I told you I can’t get together tonight.”
“Me neither. What’s your apartment number?”
“It’s 212, but you can’t just come over here. Sam!”
But the line is dead. Blood is pounding through my veins, partially because I am angry that he hung up on me, but mostly because I’m completely and totally turned on by his urgency to see me.
My hand is on the door knob, turning it to open the door, when I hear his footsteps. I step out into the hallway, ready to give him a piece of my mind, but he’s stalking toward me, looking so hot in dark jeans and a black leather jacket. Then he’s there, pushing me up against the wall with his whole body. I’m trapped by the wide expanse of his shoulders, his hard cock pressing against my belly, his strong thighs firm against my legs.
His eyes are smoldering and half-hooded. His jaw ticks as he searches my eyes. “There is nothing you can say about your life, past or present, that will drive me away from you.”
“You mentioned that.” I swallow.
“Not unless you tell me to leave. Tell me right now if you don’t want this. Tell me right now, because once I kiss you again, there’s no turning back for me.”
Sam’s voice is so deep and low, it reverberates in my mouth and my throat and my chest. My nipples are hard against him from the vibration. I gulp air so I can find the courage to say what I need to say. He needs to hear me out.
“Sam, I want this. I want you and me. And sex with you.” I sigh. “I’m just so afraid that if I let you in the door… I won’t be able to watch you leave.”
His eyes study mine. “I’m not leaving. We’re adults, so we can work this out. Just tell me how.” His voice hushes to a whisper. “Tell me what you need.”
Those blue eyes are stormy and confident, like a hurricane over the sea. I’m lost in them as I realize I can’t say no to this man. He’s irresistible, and that makes me want to trust him. As I watch the emotions swirling in his eyes, I feel as though I can see deep into his soul. I see honesty, loyalty, and honor inside him, and I realize he’s nothing like my past. He’s what I want for my future.
“Kiss me,” I say.
All at once, his eyes close and his hips twitch against me. Those two words seem to harness enough power to release the storm stirring inside him. His lips meet mine, and his kiss is hard, his tongue lashing mine with long, slow strokes. His legs and hips push until I’m only being supported by the pressure of his frame against me. He takes my bottom lip between his teeth, biting gently, then he teases my lips with his expert tongue. His hands firmly hold my jaw, guiding my mouth and orchestrating our kiss. Our epic kiss.
Before I can recover, his hand slides down my chest over my breast, my nipple stiffening through my T-shirt. He lightly moves his fingernail over the hard peak. He trails kisses across my face until our noses touch. I inhale while his hand slips farther down the curve of my body to the waistband of my yoga pants, then it dips inside. My eyes close and my mouth opens, but no sound comes out.
My legs shake when his fingers so skillfully circle my clit. Every nerve ending is engaged as he strums, and it doesn’t take long to work me into a frenzy. His hands are slow and relentless, and I realize I need to come, but I can’t seem to get there. Gasping and needy, I feel his forehead rest against mine, so I can’t help but look up. The storm in his eyes has been replaced with pure lust and need.
“Come for me, baby. Let me see you.”
That’s all I needed. I try not to raise my voice, but apparently I’m not successful. Just like before, his hand grips my mouth as he pins me to the wall and watches me fall apart. When my body stops shaking, he releases me from the wall but continues to hold me tightly.
“You’re so beautiful, Eve. I can’t get enough of you,” he whispers and brushes back the wisps of hair that have fallen over my eyes.
“You are too, and I need more of you.” I reach for his cock, so hard and waiting for me. I want so badly to show him the same pleasure he just gave me.
“No.” He stops my hand. “This was just for you. I wanted you to see what we can have together. That’s all that matters—who we are together. The past doesn’t matter.”
I’m stunned into silence, hanging on his every word. He speaks with confidence, as though he understands my life without me even explaining. Sam really isn’t like Matthew at all. This can be different, and it feels as though he’s making me a promise.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to run from me.” Sam taps his finger on the edge of my lips.
I open my mouth and his finger dips just inside. The taste of myself emboldens me, so I close my mouth around his finger and suck the way I want to suck his cock. Our faces still close together, his eyebrows press together and an involuntary puff of breath escapes his mouth.
“Fuck, Eve. Your mouth. See what you do to me?” He grinds his erection against me. “I know you have some kink, and I’m going to find it. I have to go now, but I’m not leaving you. Know what I mean?”
I nod.
“When you get home from your trip, this is what I want to taste.” His finger moves from my mouth to his, and he licks the next finger and the next. “Mmm, so sweet.” His gaze is locked on mine, so intense. “My plan is to make you come like that every day. An orgasm a day until you accept that you are mine.”
I am speechless. He is dominating me right now, and the part of me that wants to fight being submissive is silenced. He has captured me. I am his.
I want to tell him that, but all
I can do is say, “Yes.”
He reaches around and opens my door for me, his eyes on mine. He sneaks a quick tap of a kiss on my nose, then slowly walks backward a few steps.
“This time, I’ll call you.” He winks, turns around, and walks down the hallway then through the door to the stairwell.
I watch him for a second before I realize that this all happened in the hallway. Someone could have walked out of their apartment at any moment! The idea of getting caught horrifies me. Rushing inside my apartment and barely closing the door, I’m pulled from my passion-filled trance by the sound of my baby screaming for me in the next room.
Chapter 14
While we wait at the airport gate the next morning, Aaron is already crashed out in his stroller from the exhausting taxi ride and the constant, overwhelming airport noise. My clunky old cell phone is so outdated and on its last legs, but I can still receive texts. The reception is spotty at times, even in good places, though. A text from Sam comes through while I search my bag for something to read.
Good morning, beautiful.
Good morning. :)
Have a safe flight.
Thanks.
Can’t stop thinking about yesterday.
Me either. <3
Can I call you tonight?
Yes but my cell sucks, so I’ll text you their number.
I look forward to it.
Me, too. xo
******
Aaron is immediately comfortable with Renee and Grandpa Jack. They live on one of the ten thousand lakes in Minnesota, and their lifestyle is simple and relaxed. Jack is in his late forties, tall and slim with salt-and-pepper curly hair. He works in investments in downtown Minneapolis, so his personality is like an accountant’s: calm, serene, confident, and collected. Renee is a teacher who wears cat sweaters and mom jeans. She’s a little on the nervous side, but she’s über organized with activities for Aaron. They’ve been reading together ever since we got here. They give him constant attention and their house is huge, so he is gleefully running around.
My meeting with Matthew is tomorrow night after dinner. I’m thankful that Renee set it up for me, because I’m pretty nervous to see him. I feel like I have been able to remain strong since I left, but I’m afraid that when we are face-to-face, I might crumble from the weight of seeing him again.
But, really, why am I afraid? He chose this path. He could have done the right thing and gone to treatment so that he could be with us.
Alcoholism is a disease, I get that, which is why I promised not to press charges if he signed the papers allowing me to take our son to California. He agreed to leave us alone, and for the most part, he has. I’ve always hoped that being so far away from us might sober him up and inspire him to get help for his drinking, but I don’t know if it has. Since we moved away, he’s done a few weird things, like setting up auto-pay child support into my bank account without asking me. It was a nice thing to do, but don’t know how he got my account number and I haven’t had the time or the energy to deal with it. I really need to come up with a plan for how to confront him.
Aaron crashes pretty hard after such a big day. As I tiptoe out of the spare bedroom where we’ll share a room for the week, the house phone rings. Renee brings the phone to me in the hallway, and I take it downstairs into the kitchen, worried it could be Matthew. I hope it is who I think it is though.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Eve.”
“Sam.” Relief washes over me from just hearing his voice. I lean my hip against the counter.
“I wanted to make sure you’re all right. I didn’t give you the chance to tell me more yesterday, so if you’d still like to share, I’d like to listen.”
“Okay, well… yeah. Um, I can’t really talk about it too much… Aaron and I are at my ex-fiance’s parents’ house.” A nervous breath escapes my lungs. After another shaky breath in, I continue. “He isn’t here… but when we were together, he did some things… he’s an alcoholic. I’ve been afraid he would come after me, so I came here to settle some things.”
“You ran away from him.”
“Yes. So when his parents invited us up here to spend time with Aaron, I decided I have to confront him. He used to lock up Aaron and me when he was drunk. I really don’t want to see him again, but I feel like I have to.”
He sucked in a breath. “Fuck, Eve. What an asshole.”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“I hate that he did that to you.” He huffs. “He’s a bully and needs to be taught a lesson on how to treat a woman.”
“Probably, but I just need to get this over with and go home.”
“You okay?”
“I’m okay, thanks.”
“Well…if I’ve ever known someone brave enough to tackle something like this, it’s you.”
“Thanks, Sam. I hope you’re right.”
******
The next day, Jack and Renee are still completely smothering Aaron with love and attention, so I’m going to take this opportunity to meet with one of my former professors, my mentor from the University of Minnesota. Bridget was an integral part of my plan to escape to California. She helped me gather transcripts, secure housing, and held the baby while I used her office on campus to complete all the necessary online forms to apply to UCLA. She didn’t know the whole story about why I was so secretive or why it was so critical that I move across the country for grad school. But she understood how important it was to me, and she was willing to go the extra mile to help. I feel it’s time to tell her the truth so she knows just how much her help really meant to me.
As I apply my makeup, I’m thankful that I have a minute alone to get ready. Examining my eyes in the mirror and pushing at the skin on my face, I realize how tired I look. The stress from the last couple of years has taken its toll. Even though the streak of sun from the window reflects off the highlights in my curls and makes them shimmer against my light African skin, I look different. Maybe it’s exhaustion. Maybe I’m just older and wiser, but the changes to my face make me realize that I need to confront Matthew and try to put this truly behind me.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to come up with a plan. How do I explain this situation to someone like Bridget? Will she understand? And what on earth do I say to Matthew? I need to make a set of rules for him to follow before I can ever let him see his son again. I’ll never, ever put myself or Aaron in a situation like that again. At the time, my postpartum hormone fog prevented me from seeing the whole picture, but when I could finally see the forest through the trees, I knew I was the only one who could make our lives better.
It’s time to confront him. Tonight is the night. Deep breath.
A knock at the bedroom door brings me back from my reflection.
Renee pops her head in and hands me a package when I come out of the bathroom. “Here, honey, this just came for you from a courier service. Any idea what it could be? Something for school?”
“I’m not sure. Thanks, I’ll open it and find out.”
After struggling with the bubble wrap and clumsily ripping it to shreds in the process, a small black, red-ribbon-tied box tumbles out onto the bed beside me, along with a business card that says, “The Giving Keys.” On the back of the card, it reads, “Every purchase supports job creation for people transitioning out of homelessness.”
My heart squeezes, and I hold my breath to keep the tears back because I think I know who sent this. I take a deep breath and pull on the red ribbon until it loosens. I gently lift the top to find a chain-link, antique gold bracelet, and it has a small key for a charm. The key has the word “brave” stamped in tiny block letters. I notice a handwritten note tucked inside the box and pick it up.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thinking about you. Sam
A sparkle of gratitude flutters in my chest when I think about the thought he put into this. I should call him
and thank him, but instead I snap a selfie with the bracelet, also showing the full length of my curves from above to show my full appreciation. As soon as I send the text, my phone bloops with his response.
Well, hello gorgeous. You got it.
I did. It’s beautiful. Thank you.
You’re welcome. It looks good on you.
It’s just what I needed today.
Good. Come home soon.
I will. I’m going to need wine. :)
You got it. ;)
My phone bloops again, but this time with a selfie of Sam sitting in an executive office chair, looking delicious in a dark suit with a white shirt and a red tie. The full body view makes me want to curl up in his lap while he works. Seems strange since there are other things a girl could imagine doing in the lap of a man who looks like that, but right now, I simply want to be near him.
******
As Renee is dragging a broom around the front foyer, Aaron and I slowly make our way down the dark wooden staircase toward the front door. I need to leave soon for my meeting with Bridget. Aaron wobbles beside me on the stairs, his little hand in mine, as we take one creaky step at a time. He grins up at me, drool hanging from his chin, and just like every day, I can’t help but feel a little pang of guilt, wishing I never had to leave him for any reason.
But since that’s impossible and Mom guilt does no one any good, I decide to cherish the time we’ve had together so far and look forward to spending some time with my friend and mentor. Leaving Aaron here feels funny, since he doesn’t know Renee and Jack well, but he’s so happy spending time with them. The grandparent bond is obviously strong between them, and I’m actually glad I came here so they could get to know each other. I wouldn’t leave him here if I didn’t trust them.
*******
A dimmed chandelier casts soft light over the dining room table that Renee has so beautifully decorated. Since Aaron and I are leaving tomorrow, dinner tonight was planned as a special occasion. Crystal serving dishes and antique china pieces are in their places. Aaron toddles over to me, his hair still fuzzy from a swim in the lake while I was gone for the afternoon. It was so good to catch up with Bridget and visit the campus, but I’m happy to be here with my boy again.
The Drazen World: Run (Kindle Worlds Novella) Page 6