The Way of the Clan 6: World of Valdira

by Dem Mikhaylov

  And our animals were not far behind. Tyrant trotted ahead of the wooly mammoth, clearly not intimidated by its size.

  The Sleepless raid kept going in the same direction, in a straight line towards the Archs. The battle was brewing— I could hear the orders of the Red Baron in the ether.

  “Oh!” Shouted Bom, raising his paws at the sky. “There goes the golden bird.”

  Florian and the Zlawadzkii dragon, Zlata.

  The orange legendary dragon flew in a steep arc towards the Sleepless squad. But not far enough that an arrow wouldn’t be able to touch him.

  However, he remained unarmed. Zlata quietly circled the rain and landed next to the Kolyvan. The refugee pacifists united…

  But really, we were so low in level. Our levels were at least doubly less than Florian’s. His legendary pet’s size was also much steeper than Tyrant’s. A squabble between us would only be fair if I had some kind of divine weapon— Nyusha for example. Nyurgay Scherkhan, the great stinger. That would be formidable— but my spells would be practically useless. Therefore, we stepped aside, letting the big boys get the job done.

  Florian, however, had no excuses. A knight with such a rare pet left the battlefield and his native clan? What was he thinking? I will not ask. Let him deal with it with his clan.

  Actually, I know perfectly well what he was thinking— it was about the legendary armor. But I will still not ask.

  “You left?” Roared Bom, not helping to diffuse the situation.

  “I bounced,” said Florian, struggling to keep a straight face.

  “It’s your clan, how can you…” began Kirea, demonstratively kicking a rock with her armored boot.

  “Kirea!” I growled. “He’ll figure that out himself! Guys, do not spit salt on someone else’s wound. Or someone will come and pour hot lava on your bare asses.”

  “Do you even know what you just said?” Said Cray, and the Dwarf Murohrom raised his eyebrows.

  “Inter-resting,” said Orbit. “Salt? Laa-a-ava…”

  “Enough!” I shouted with some embarrassment, glancing at our new fellow traveler, who was listening to our conversation with some obvious interest. “Goddamn comedians! This sure is a way to lead a campaign for legendary armor! Damn it! We should have just formed a tremendous squad and there would have been no grief! And now look what’s happening!”

  “Why’d you call the Sleepless then?” A smile appeared on the flawless face of Florian, but his eyes began to exhibit a very evil gleam. “You could have remained a simple passenger! And you wouldn’t be in this mess right now! Who asked you to open your mouth?!”

  “Huh,” I blinked in surprise. “So it’s my fault? It’s because of me?”

  “Who else?!”

  The Kolyvan took another step and stopped at the top of an earthen knoll. The others stopped too. Stopped also the dragon and his rider, in his shining gilded armor. Beautiful… and dangerous…

  I could tell that I could easily fly off to another world right now— that is, directly to the mainland.

  His eyes were practically burning into mine.

  “You want to start something?” I asked. “With pleasure. There’s a rat skin under that golden armor, isn’t that right, gilded knight? At first you tried to get rid of me, and now you ran from a fight. And now you’re mad at me?”

  “O-o-oh…” said Florian with a deliberate carelessness. “You’re so bold. Aren’t you afraid that I’ll hit you once, and you’ll fly right back to the mainland? Together with your ragged wolf.”

  “Well, well,” I smiled. “Aren’t you crossing the line here, asshole? There are more here on my side. They are my friends, not yours. And don’t talk about my wolf. I’m not saying anything about your lizard.”

  “I’m also here,” added Lark softly, the girl whose hands continued to build a strange contraption. Her level was two hundred and forty-one. Impressive. However, she didn’t have a pet…

  “I…”

  “Let me finish!” I snapped, looking at the raid party in the distance. “There on the mainland, I might have been afraid of you. If the Archs crush the sleepless— I’ll be afraid. But what if the opposite happens? If the Sleepless bend the Archs, then straighten them, and bend them again? And you’ll stay here in splendid isolation. What will you do then? Say a proud “goodbye” to a chance at the legendary armor?”

  “Bo-o-oring,” said Orbit. “Let’s bend the d-dragon ins-stead! And la-a-ava on his…”

  “Orbit!” Barked Kira, Kaylen and Doc at once.”

  “How I love agreeing with women,” smiled Doc shyly at once, realizing that he was the only man in the chorus of indignant voices.

  “Yes, well, oh… fuck it all!” Growled Florian, giving me one last look and turning away. He cast a quick look at the contraption the girl was devising.

  I’ve only seen such an offended, distorted and evil face once before. Once in my life. Back when I was in school. This happened when the most handsome boy in our class was caught telling on someone and immediately turned into an object of ridicule. That’s the same face the golden knight had now.

  “And don’t you forget another thing!” I went on stubbornly. “What if in the end it turns out there’s another door, one we can only open together? Same as the portal which brought us here. What then?”

  “Egh…” Sadly sighed Florian, seeming not to even have heard me. “Better to have stayed on holiday kayaking in the real world. Why did I sign up for this hemorrhoid? Sorry, Ros. No, really— not just because of your words. Just truly so sorry. I just wanted to dress up my dragon so much, and now it’s resulted in a goddamn political conflict! Would be so much better to just fly around myself, fighting and making peace with anyone I want and not thinking about all this…”

  “Right…” I chuckled, watching Bom install a metal cylinder into the ground.

  Three similar cylinders were already installed, forming a triangle, and now Bom was hurrying to install the fourth point. We were to be enclosed in a large square. That’s what the Baron gave the Orc, then— if I’m right, it is a giant magical barrier operating for roughly half an hour. A very useful thing, especially in raids such as this.

  “And I’m not a rat!” Added the golden knight.

  “I take that back,” I smiled. “Though, you did try to cheat me.”

  “I did, yes. Honest cheating, you know— it’s Valdira,” easily admitted Florian. “But not at the expense of the equipment. And besides, after the campaign, I would have definitely…”

  “Shit,” I muttered, paying no attention to Florian’s reconciliation. “All this makes no sense! Why fight? The whole campaign can fail because of this! Oh, I wouldn’t have them fight now! It isn’t worth it...”

  “It’s beginning! Almost! Another couple of minutes!” Cried Kaylen, trying to push to the head of the Kolyvan, to get a little higher. The bald elf stubbornly resisted, not wanting to leave his place. Damn it. Was he going to go everywhere with that mammoth now?

  The bald elf, the mammoth, and the two-headed parrot…

  Before I could finish the thought Orbit suddenly jumped as though he was stung, bowed his bald head to the shoulder, nodded several times and broke into an incredibly broad grin. He knocked a cheerful motif on his chest and, looking at nothing in particular, eagerly asked:

  “Did you hear?! Coo-ool! And I’m b-bored! Think so? Can you? Of course we ne-e-eed to! G-give me your hand! G-got it! P-pulling now!”

  What the hell?

  “Oh…” I began to utter Orbit’s name, but could not complete it.

  B-b-bam-m-m-!

  The cylinders installed by Bom shattered and fell. The earth trembled— and I paid no attention. I simply noted the fact. I was accustomed by now to the earth shaking under my feet.

  But this— this I definitely wasn’t used to!

  A huge and glowing, bright yellow arc appeared in the sky, narrowed, ad took the form of a gigantic horseshoe. In the space inside it I saw a clouded veil full of lightening. M
y hair stood on end. My comrades were in shock— all except Orbit, who danced happily and seemed to be pulling something in.

  B-b-bam!

  The horseshoe shattered into shards of light and disappeared.

  And there stood a high thin figure with a snake head, three steps away from the shocked Kolyvan. There was a god beside us…

  We stood frozen before her. The whole crowd became a quarry of stone.

  ATTENTION!

  The god SNESS has arrived upon unholy land!

  Everything living and dead on the territory of the Outland shudders in his wake!

  Everything living and dead on the territory of the Outland bows before Sness!

  The goddess Sness gets an advantage!

  The goddess Sness receives the energy of faith!

  ATTENTION!

  Temples cannot be built in this location!

  “Oo-o-oh…” Said Lark, falling from the mammoth.

  “Oo-oo-ooh,” croaked Florian.

  “W-with you?” Busily asked Orbit.

  “Ye-ss-ss!” Said the snake-headed god with a joyous hissing, raising his hands above his head.

  Just now, right before our eyes, Orbit gifted the god Sness a metaphorical large strawberry ice cream.

  This is a closed system. You cannot build temples here. It is impossible to make the Outland permanently open. It’s just a one time gift for Sness, comparable to winning the lottery. The effect wasn’t permanent, but a one-time recharging of his batteries. But was that not enough? The god was already strong… and he had just been made stronger. Perhaps, the balance of divine forces had just been altered before us…

  Something huge began to appear above the raised hands of the snake headed god, some huge circular thing, and I smelled something baked and sweet…

  “Orbit!” Shouted Kira. “What is this? And how did you do it? And more so— what is that appearing?”

  “It’s b-b-blueberry p-p-pie! R-restricted b-blueberry pie in the Outland!” Happily laughed the bald elf, breaking into a crazy dance above the roaring Kolyvan. “And five! And four! This is gonna be g-g-great!”

  “Oh, yess-ss, by bald f-fried!” Agreed the god Sness. “Yes-ss!”

  “And three! And two!”

  Jumping from the Kolyvan, I sat down on the Outland grass, embraced Tyrant and looked blankly at the blueberry pie forming above our heads…

  “And one!”

  There was a thick purple flash, but it did not blind us. The materialized pie did not fly in an arc to the target. Instead, it just disappeared. The next moment, it was suspended over the frontlines of each army, and fell down with such a force that it was as though the hand of an invisible giant pressed down deliberately from above. The divine pie literally imprinted into the ground, the front rows of the two raid groups covered with a dense purple goo, which splashed in all directions.

  “What is this chaos, Ros?” Asked Kira, sinking to the ground next to me.

  “It isn’t chaos,” I said darkly, looking into the direction of the troops. “It’s pure buffoonery. I’m almost glad that Orbit decided to play a prank. And once he is done— I will continue. I have a couple of questions.”

  “I’m al-ready d-done!” Informed the elf, and grimaced with displeasure. “The second time isn’t int-teresting. Rep-petition breeds b-boreedom. Come on, Ros. S-speak! Sness, will they h-hear him?”

  “They’ll hear him,” said the god after a moment and, clutching the vest of the bald elf, pulled him towards him. The vest was immediately covered with mysterious red and yellow symbols. Sness bent down and whispered. “M-my bald friend, you brought m-me a generous gift t-today. How s-shall I repay you?”

  “Hm…” Orbit seemed deep in thought, and I opened my mouth and said in surprise:

  “They’ll hear me?”

  “THEY’LL HEAR ME?” A thunderous roar swept over the river banks flying over the earth and the jungle, and returning with an enormous echo.

  There, in the distance, separated by a bubbling mass of purple, the two groups stood motionless. All of them— including those who were not covered in the slime.

  Looking closer, I noticed reddish filaments emanating from the pie and trembling in the air.

  “Wow, Ros,” said Trouble in awe. “Say something. For example, Kira, I love...”

  “Alright,” I muttered grimly, rising to my feet and preparing to pour the entire contents of my sweet and good-natured soul on the two clans.

  “ALRIGHT… right… right…” Responded the Outland.

  “Oh, great clans!” I began with undisguised sarcasm. “I have no idea, why you suddenly ceased tearing at each other’s throats, since you are not covered in blueberry jam mixed with radioactive nitroglycerin. But, frankly, I do not care! I just want to inform you that I renounce any further help from you! From both the Architects and the Sleepless! I do not impose my opinion on anyone, and speak only for myself. I’ll try and go through the Outland alone. If I can’t— that’s my problem. All of our arrangements have been rescinded. Neither clan owes me anything. But, as my dad explained to me long ago, with every termination there must come an explanation. Fine. I will explain. I don’t know about the Architects. I negotiated for direct assistance only with the Sleepless, as it turns out. In fact— I gave this very good and wise clan everything, leaving only a small percentage for myself and my friends. In return, we received a reliable escort, very good body guards. But as it turns out, our body guards do not guard anything. Because the trip to the Outland has become a continuation of the feud between longtime enemies. And suddenly, we have become the passengers to this. I will not delve into the stupidity that instead of one big and powerful raid squad, we got two far less powerful groups. To hell with it. Because now it’s about a frontal attack. How many of you will survive this head on collision? Two or three players on each side? Less? Anyone at all? And even if it’s five or six on each side, let me ask you— how do you, the two clans, intend to keep your generous promises? How are you going to help us find the equipment? How are you going to give us our share if you all fly to the mainland and your bags remain here? You don’t know huh? I also think so. So that’s my explanation. I repeat— I am speaking only for myself. And I am very grateful for everything thus far. Everything was great. Exciting. A real amusement park. You gave me a ride and even let me shoot the crossbow. It was lots of fun. Thank you. And goodbye.”

  Nodding to the god Sness, who had just finished whispering something to Orbit, I looked at Kira and held out my hand. Grabbing it, Trouble arose, sighed, looked me in the eye and asked:

  “Let’s go?”

  “Let’s,” I smiled, looking toward the mountains.

  “Let’s go!” Bom growled, continuing to gather a strangely grayish grass. “Mind you, Ros, I have just gathered three divine joy crystals into my bag— you’re over there talking, and we’re taking care of business…”

  “Let’s go!” Said Kaylen firmly, not listening to the laments of the half-orc. Standing over her shoulder, Cray nodded emphatically. He clearly preferred to defend his love himself, however he managed.

  “Let’s go,” Doc sighed, rubbing his temples as though he had a headache. “I can’t cure this diagnosis. It’s called terminal. But I’m with you. My ass hurts from sitting.”

  “Let’s go-o-o!” The elf supported us. “Sness? You c-coming?”

  “I cannot, m-my bald f-friend,” sighed the God with deep regret, casually flicking his fingers.

  In the distance there was an explosion, and a huge purple spot covered everything. There was the fruity smell of blueberries. But, as far as I could see, nothing happened other than this visual effect— no one was killed by this blueberry explosion.

  “I’m being summoned,” sadly said Sness. “Praying to help retrieve s-some crys-s-stal hammer… b-b-bitches… but they promis-s-se generous-s-s gifts. In anticipation of impending war… I need every d-drop of strength and every grain of gold. Farewell!”

  This time there was no horseshoe por
tal and no bright lights— the god Sness just disappeared. Melted into a haze. Apparently, it only took a one-time struggle to get in here. And the bald elf was like a beacon. Getting back was simple. I cannot even imagine how much gratuitous energy the god received from the Outland. I am certain that those who worship this god now owe the bald elf very, very much.

  “I’m with you guys,” quietly said Murohrom, standing behind me. “I will help with all I can.”

  “Huh,” I was surprised. “Good.”

  “And I…” began Florian, still completely confused. “Well… I…”

  “Keep thinking,” I smiled and turned away, taking the first step towards the mountains.

  “And I…” Hurriedly said Lark. “I will…”

  “You’re from the Sleepless!” I replied immediately. “Please be so kind as to give Busia the Liar my regards.”

  “Be so kind,” Orbit joined in. “To give B-busia the Liar a k-kick to the r-rump! Kolyv-van! Let’s go!”

  “Mammoth isn’t ours,” Kaylen reminded us.

  “Ours!” The elf shook his head. “Our p-payment! For B-busia finding out about our j-journey! And Sness breathed in-nto his snout!”

  “Sness breathed into his snout?” Trouble jumped.

  “Uh-huh!” Bom said, stepping ahead of me. “Well, let’s go!”

  The breath of the god Sness had been poured into the mammoth Kolyvan, now owned by the bald elf Orbit. Not as a pet, but, namely, something that is owned. I wonder what this means? Hm… but now is not the time.

  “Come on,” I waved my hand, walking forward. “Bom, you’re strong, throw everything unnecessary from the back of the Kolyvan. Bags, crossbows, armor and the Lark.”

  “Please don’t!” Said Lark, staring into space. Perhaps writing a message?

  “Jump off then,” boomed Bom, heading to the Kolyvan.

  “I can kick you once and you’ll fly a mile away!” Evilly promised Lark.

  Well, that was true— compare their levels, and it’s like a piglet running into a wild forest boar.

  “Kolyva-a-an!” Ordered Orbit, and the mammoth gave a shudder, trying to shake off the stranger.