Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three)

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “I think you may be right.”

  “I think it’s good for both of them. Brandon needs some stability and no one will dote on him more than Mandy. We both know that.” He nodded in agreement just as Brandon and Mandy walked in. Brandon didn’t seem the least bit bothered they’d been caught, but Mandy looked timid when she saw us. I noticed the way Brandon took her hand and she seemed to relax.

  “I didn’t expect you two back so soon,” Jesse teased. Mandy just glared at him and Brandon ignored him as they both came over and got some pizza. I looked over to Mandy and our eyes met. I smiled at her and she knew I was happy for her. I was happy for both of them. I couldn’t wait to get Mandy alone though so I could get more details. I finally got my chance when she and I took the leftover pizza into the kitchen to put in the fridge.

  “So,” I said, looking over eagerly at Mandy. “I would like some details.”

  “What do you want to know?” she asked meekly and I was surprised she wasn’t dying to gush about every little detail, considering she’d always been so excited to hear everything about my love life while we were still in high school.

  “How’d it happen? How’d you two hook up?”

  “It just happened,” she said with a sweet smile and when she looked at me, I saw her eyes were moist.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, reaching over and resting my hand over hers.

  “I’m just happy,” she said quietly. “Brandon’s not the same person he was before the army. He’s sweet.”

  “This is the same guy who trapped you in the devil house,” I laughed and she just grinned widely.

  “He’s still an idiot,” she said with a sarcastic eye roll. “But he almost died, Riley. He’s afraid to let anyone see how much it affected him, but he lets me know. I feel like I can talk to him about anything.”

  I felt myself tearing up. It was hard to ever think of Brandon struggling with anything and since I’d been back in Carver, he’d seemed so normal, I’d almost forgotten he’d lost a leg. He was so capable and carefree, but obviously he did have demons and I was glad he had Mandy to help him through it.

  “Is Brandon okay?” I whispered.

  “He is,” she nodded assertively. “He sees a therapist to work through all the psychological stuff and he started talking to me too and then…I guess it just happened between us.”

  “I think it’s great, Mandy.”

  “Me too,” she said softly and I didn’t press for any more details. While Mandy was a ditz and Brandon a complete clown, something about their relationship seemed to surpass all that and I had a feeling it was going to be something beautiful.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  We played a few more games of pool and finished off the pizza, but I wasn’t surprised when Brandon and Mandy decided to call it a night. I figured now that their relationship was out in the open, they didn’t need to make any excuses about hanging out on their own rather than with us. I knew they wanted to be alone and Jesse and I stood beside each other as Mandy’s car faded off into the distance. I knew I should get in my car and follow them, but I didn’t. Instead, I looked up into the night sky, so clear, just like the night Evan had proposed.

  “You have the best view out here,” I said, my neck craning up.

  “Yeah. It never gets old.” I looked over and I saw he was staring up into the sky too.

  “There’s just something about this place. I never realized how many stars there are till I moved here. When I was in Kansas City, we went to dinner at Evan’s parents’ country club,” I said and I heard Jesse laugh quietly.

  “A country club? Sounds right up your alley.”

  “I’m not sure if I should be offended or not,” I laughed, but he just looked away from the sky, bringing his eyes to meet mine. “Anyway…it was fancy and uppity and Evan’s mom has pretty much decided we’ll have our reception there.”

  “And how do you feel about that? It is your wedding after all, not hers.”

  “When I was there, all I could think about was being back here, riding on a quad in a pair of flip-flops and cuts-offs and terrible country music blaring in the background.”

  “Well,” he said as he looked me over. “You are wearing flip-flops and cut-offs and there are a couple of quads at our disposal. Plus, I do believe that’s country music coming from the shed, although I wouldn’t call it terrible. Wanna ride?”

  I felt my mouth curl up into a smile and nodded.

  “Yeah, I would.”

  He turned and I followed him into the shed. He straddled his favorite quad, the white and blue flamed one that had always looked too menacing for me to try, and then he motioned towards the red one.

  “Let’s go,” he grinned, revving the engine so loudly it vibrated the walls.

  I climbed on, turned on the engine and followed Jesse out onto the trails. The dim headlights of the quads didn’t offer much light and I hoped he wouldn’t take off, leaving me alone. Jesse had been riding his whole life and knew the trails around his house like the back of his hand. I, on the other hand, was a mediocre rider at best. I knew he was holding back as he led me down the dirt paths around his house. He always stayed just in front of me and he turned around every so often to make sure I was still there.

  I’d longed for this feeling of freedom and now that I had it, it felt incredible. My hair whipped around my face the way I’d wanted it to and the engine was so loud, I couldn’t think of anything but concentrating on the road. The weekend in Kansas City had been confining and I hadn’t even realized it until now. I looked up and saw Jesse had stopped his quad and was waiting for me.

  “Having fun?” he shouted over the roar of the engines.

  “Yeah! Let’s keep going!” I called back and then took off, able to hear his laughter for a second before it was drowned out by the engines and the distance between us. My confidence was growing and I wanted to go faster. I throttled the engine as a hill approached, my adrenaline keeping me from realizing I probably shouldn’t be going so fast. I discovered this too late and I felt myself losing control. The handlebar started wobbling and I struggled to keep it straight. Before I knew what was happening, I was tipping backwards and then I slammed to the ground. All I could see was the black silhouette of the quad above me and my leg was searing in pain as I rolled down the hill.

  “Riley!”

  Jesse’s voice pierced through the night, forcing its way over the sound of my quad that was idling on its side a few feet away. I heard the sound of his four-wheeler getting closer and then screech to a stop as dirt and rocks kicked up behind him when he slammed on the breaks and jumped off. I looked up and he was running towards me, panic spread over his face.

  “Holy shit, Riley! Are you okay?”

  He rushed over to my quad and quickly turned it off before kneeling beside me as I struggled to get up. I felt his hands on me as he eased my body into a sitting position and I gave myself a quick once over. I was covered in dirt and I knew I had scratches on my arms and legs, but then my eyes focused on my left calf, which was caked in sand, rocks and blood. It had started throbbing the moment I hit the ground, but once I actually saw it, it was as if my brain was finally recognizing the source of the pain and it felt as if my leg was on fire. I didn’t want to cry and I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears, but I blinked and they fell down my smudged face.

  “Do you think you can walk?” he asked, frantically as he started brushing the hair away from my dirty face. I nodded and then I felt his arms wrap gingerly around me as he helped me to my feet. My leg burned when I put any weight on it, but I tried hobbling, using his body as support. I don’t know if I was going too slow for him though because he suddenly scooped me up in his arms and carried me over to his quad, carefully lowering me onto the seat and then getting on himself. “Hold on tight,” he said and I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my cheek against his back, the all too familiar scent of him enveloping me as we rode. He was careful as he drove, doing his best to avoid as many bu
mps as possible and a few minutes later, we were back in front of his house.

  “I can walk inside,” I said once we’d stopped, but he ignored me, again scooping me up and carrying me inside. He didn’t say anything as he laid me down on the couch, obviously not caring about the blood that was dripping from my leg. “What about your couch?” I called to him as he walked away.

  “It’s a piece of crap anyway,” he said from the kitchen where I could hear him opening drawers and turning on the water in the sink. He returned a few moments later and pulled the coffee table closer to the couch and sat down. He picked up my leg and began wiping it with a warm rag. “I’m sorry if this hurts,” he said when he heard me wince. “We need to clean all the dirt out of here so it doesn’t get infected.”

  “Is it as bad as it feels?” I asked him, glancing down, watching him clean the cut.

  “I don’t think so. It’s bleeding pretty good, but I don’t think it’s that deep. You should have your mom look at it when you get home though.”

  “It hurts like hell,” I said, closing my eyes as he dug at a sensitive spot.

  “Sorry,” his deep voice said softly, noticing my discomfort.

  I just bit my lip, trying not to cry. When I opened my eyes again, I saw his eyes dart quickly away as if he’d been watching me. He placed a towel underneath my leg and then proceeded to dump peroxide on the gash. The stinging was intense and I couldn’t help myself as I sat up and grabbed onto his arm, squeezing hard as I waited for the burning to subside. He didn’t seem to mind that I was nearly ripping his arm off and when he dumped the next batch onto my skin, he took my hand and I tried not to squeeze as hard this time. He patted it dry a moment later and then reached into the first aid kid he’d grabbed from the kitchen and placed a large piece of gauze on my leg, holding it down with medical tape.

  “Are you hurt anywhere else?” he asked, his eyes looking over my body again.

  “I don’t think so. Just some minor scrapes. I’ll take a shower when I get home,” I answered and then we were quiet for a few moments. “Thank you for cleaning me up.”

  He looked over to me and his face still seemed so worried.

  “You scared the hell outta me,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

  “I scared the hell out of myself,” I said and started laughing, but he didn’t.

  “This isn’t funny, Riley,” he interrupted. “You could’ve been hurt. Like seriously hurt. That quad was airborne. All I could see was you laying there and the quad over you. I thought the damn thing was gonna crush you.” He was talking quickly and he was breathing fast too. He seemed more freaked out than I was.

  “I’m sorry,” was all I could think to say.

  “Don’t apologize,” he said, bringing his eyes to meet mine. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

  “Me too,” I said and then he finally cracked a smile and I could see he was calming down.

  “When are you gonna learn to actually drive a quad? You can’t use that whole excuse about being from Boston anymore. It’s been like five years now.”

  “I haven’t had much practice for nearly four of those years though,” I said and his smile disappeared. He knew what I was implying. He knew I was talking about the fact that he’d left. He looked away for a moment and then looked back at me.

  “I’m sorry,” he said simply. “I’m sorry for leaving you.”

  “I shouldn’t have said that.” I swung my leg down carefully so both my feet were resting on the floor and Jesse left his perch on the coffee table and sat beside me on the couch

  “You only said the truth,” he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

  “I still shouldn’t have said it.”

  It grew quiet for a few moments as I watched him staring at the floor, his hair hanging on his forehead as he turned his head slowly, our eyes meeting. They stayed locked for a moment and then I saw his eyes drift down, focusing on my mouth. I knew I should stand up and leave, but I couldn’t move. I knew I should be ashamed. I knew I shouldn’t want it, but I did. I wanted to feel his kiss again and his arms around me once more. I knew he wanted it too by the way we drifted to each other, our mouths hovering just inches apart, our breath quick and needy and I leaned in, waiting to feel his lips on mine, wanting it, but then he winced and he pulled away, leaving me breathless even though our lips never met.

  “I’m too late,” he murmured softly and he picked up my left hand, touching the diamond ring on it. “I missed my chance. I let you down and Evan picked you up and I can’t ruin that for you. I’ve already hurt you enough.”

  I didn’t say anything to refute him because I knew he was right. We’d been apart for almost four years. We hadn’t seen each other or heard each other’s voices in all that time. It was as if we’d completely vanished from each other’s lives. When Jesse left, he was like a ghost, haunting me with the memories we’d shared and the future I’d wanted with him. The pain of his departure was more than I could bear at times. I knew he was sorry. I knew he was just trying to spare me the hurt of him staying would’ve caused. I knew he’d needed to find himself and take care of himself before he could ever think of taking care of me. He’d been both selfish and selfless by making the decision he did, but I still couldn’t forget the hollowness I’d felt when he left and I couldn’t ignore the way he’d affected me ever since I saw him again. The connection I had with Jesse was still there, it had never left, but we were different people now, even if I could no longer deny the old feelings were still there.

  “I…uh…I should get home,” I stuttered quietly as I tried standing up, not knowing what else I should say or do. I’d already almost done too much.

  “Let me drive you home,” he said as he helped me up. His voice sounded nervous as he offered and I shook my head.

  “I’ll be fine. I’m feeling much better,” I said, putting weight on my leg. It still burned, but it was tolerable now and I started hobbling towards the door.

  “Riley, please let me take you home.”

  “Thank you, Jesse, but you’ve already saved me once tonight. I can take it from here.” I smiled at him and I waited for him to smile back. He didn’t though, instead he swallowed hard and followed me outside, helping me down the steps and over to my car. Once inside, I buckled my seatbelt and rolled down the window to talk to him. He was still standing there, looking uneasy.

  “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” he asked and I nodded.

  “I’ll be fine. I’ll even text you when I get home so you know I’m alright if you want me to.”

  “Please do.”

  “I had fun tonight,” I said, trying to move past what had almost happened between us and I knew he wanted the same thing.

  “I did too.”

  “Can I still count on you to help with my mom’s wedding?”

  “Of course. Just let me know what you need.”

  “I will.” I rolled up the window and pulled away, trying to ignore the throbbing in both my leg and my heart.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Even though my mom said she wanted a small wedding, I was determined to make it memorable. True to their word, Brandon, Mandy and Jesse had helped me finish up the center pieces. We’d met at Jesse’s house a week after my wipe out on the quad. The leg had scabbed over and the surface cuts on my legs and arms had faded to a light pink. Not surprisingly, Brandon had a field day when Jesse recounted what happened that night. Truthfully though, when I thought of that night, I didn’t much think about flying off the four-wheeler. I thought about the fact I’d nearly kissed Jesse. I hadn’t seen him since that night until we all met at his house to work on the centerpieces. I’d been nervous, wondering how it would be, but somehow we moved past it, or at least we pretended we had.

  With the centerpieces finished, I’d recruited my friends to help set up the backyard the night before the ceremony. Evan was coming too and his car pulled up as Mandy and I were weaving flowers into the arched trellis where the
ceremony would take place while we waited for Brandon and Jesse to return with the tables and chairs we’d rented. It looked like Evan had come straight from work when I saw his khakis and button down shirt.

  “Need some help?” he called as he walked toward me. I finished placing the flower I was working with and then went to meet him. He was smiling and I knew he was happy to see me.

  “Hey,” I said when we finally met. He took my hands and I stretched on my tippy-toes to greet him with a kiss. “I’m glad you could make it.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” he said, brushing a piece of my hair back. “Let me see that leg of yours.” I hadn’t seen Evan since my visit to Kansas City and when I told him about the accident, as he was referring to it, he’d nearly freaked out.

  “See, I told you it’s not that bad.” I turned my calf towards him and I saw him grimace.

  “Looks pretty bad to me.”

  “Then it’s a good thing you didn’t see it a week ago. Now stop worrying about it,” I said, leading him over to where Mandy was still working.

  “Hi Evan,” she said in her typical cheerful voice.

  “Evan, this is Mandy and as you already know, Mandy, this is Evan.”

  “It’s nice to finally meet you,” he said.

  “I know. It’s weird you two have been together this long and this is the first time we’re meeting, although I feel like I already know you from everything Riley’s told me about you,” she said and Evan looked at me, a satisfactory grin on his face.

  “Riley’s told me plenty about you too. You’re the one who sorts her Skittles, right?”

  Mandy glared at me and I just shrugged.

  “Despite what Riley’s told you, I’m not a complete weirdo.”

  “Rest easy, Mandy. I never thought you were,” he said and then turned to me. “How can I help?”

  “There’s not much to do right now. We’re waiting for Jesse and Brandon to return with the chairs and tables.”

  Perhaps I imagined it or maybe it was the guilt I felt about that night at Jesse’s house, but Evan’s mouth seemed to grow into a stern line and then our eyes all turned to see Jesse’s truck bumbling toward us.