He was staring at me with such intensity I could almost feel it. His eyes were full of sorrow and apologies and I placed a finger over his mouth.
“I forgive you. No more apologies,” I said, not wanting to hear anymore sorries from him. Despite everything we’d been through, I’d never doubted his good heart or his motives. He’d been in a dark place, trying to do the best by both of us. He wanted me though. He always had, he just wanted to be able to offer me more than he could give back then, even though just being with him had always been enough for me. “From the moment we met, we’ve both said and done things we shouldn’t have, but I don’t want to dwell on it anymore. It’s done. Got it?” I said and he swallowed hard and I thought I saw tears in his eyes.
“Got it,” he said softly, his mouth rising into a smile as he brushed my cheek with his fingertips. I closed my eyes, trying to tell myself that this was real and when I felt his kiss on my lips, so kind and loving and hopeful, I knew it wasn’t a dream. Every sorrow, every joy, every heartache, every love, every loss, I’d been searching for something…for the comfort that only home can bring and standing in his arms, I knew I’d finally found it. Home wasn’t Boston or Carver or anywhere else. Home was wherever Jesse was and now that I’d found it, I never wanted to leave.
Epilogue
Three years later…
Sometimes I still couldn’t believe we were here. The silhouette of snowcapped Mount Rainier in the distance, the Space Needle and Safeco Field tucked along the horizon, and the choppy waters of Puget Sound were what greeted me every morning as I made my way to the VA hospital in Seattle. I’d worked there almost two years now and I loved every moment of it. It was an honor to go to work every day where I could give a little something back to the military members who’d given so much for our country
I’d finished my degree at K-State while Jesse stayed in Carver. We took things slow at first, easing back into being a couple, but we’d see each other a few times a month, each of us taking turns making the trip. He decided to stay in Carver and take classes at the community college while working for his uncle at the auto shop, wanting to acclimate into college life while also getting his house ready to sell. He sold it shortly after I graduated and then there was nothing left tying him to Carver.
We’d talked about staying in Kansas, somewhere near Wichita. We’d even mentioned giving Boston a try, but when Jesse’s acceptance letter to the University of Washington came in the mail, we both looked at each other and knew Seattle would be the perfect place to start our life together. I thought it would be hard telling my mom that Jesse and I were moving to Washington, but once we did, I knew she was happy for us. She’d left Carver for Boston around my age and I knew she wanted me to live my own life and have new experiences. Something told me though that we’d probably come back to Kansas one day.
Jesse started classes in September and we got married in early August on a warm evening in the same spot as my mom and Jack. It was small and simple, but we hadn’t wanted anything extravagant. We just wanted to be married. The frills didn’t matter. Even the proposal had been simple. We’d been sitting on the dock at Mrs. Kramer’s place when Jesse turned to me, holding out a ring to me. It had been his grandmother’s and he wanted me to have it. When he slid it on my finger, I didn’t shake or tremble because it felt so right and when I looked down at it, it was like it had always been there. There were no doubts, no hesitation, just peace that only grew deeper on the day of the wedding.
I wore an unassuming white strapless gown that fell to the floor and I carried a bouquet of lilacs and peonies…not the most traditional choice, but they were now my favorite flowers. All of my friends were there, including Laura, the past forgiven. I looked at each of them as I walked down the aisle with my mom and dad and I was so grateful for my friends. I could still recall meeting them for the first time that day at Carver High and I never imagined all these years later, we would all be together as Jesse and I got married, especially not after all we’d been through. But life has a funny way of working itself out and my eyes had filled with tears when I saw Jesse waiting for me at the end of the aisle. It was a perfect wedding that was only made more perfect by the feel of his lips on mine when the justice of the peace told Jesse he could kiss his bride. I still thought about that kiss and how it felt to become his wife. I’d never known any feeling greater and I didn’t think I could love him more than I did the moment we said I do…until now.
I sat on the edge of the tub, staring down at the little white stick, my eyes focusing on the pink cross. I don’t know how long I sat there going through the ways our lives would change or how I should tell him. We hadn’t planned this, but I’d come to learn the most unexpected events are often the best surprises.
I finally stood up, took a deep breath, opened the door of the bathroom and stepped out into the living room of our apartment.
“Everything okay? You were in there a while,” Jesse asked, his eyes glued to the laptop screen. He was only a year away from getting his teaching degree and I was so proud of him for how hard he worked. I knew he was going to be an awesome teacher one day and way cooler than Mr. Barry, even though he sometimes threatened to grow the mustache just to get a rise out of me. He looked so serious as he wrote his paper and he creased his forehead the way he always did when he was concentrating.
“Um…yeah,” I said softly. “It’s way more than okay.”
He stopped what he was doing, his fingers freezing on the keyboard as he turned to look at me with those all too familiar gray eyes, his dark hair hanging on his forehead the way it always had. I knew I had a ridiculously wide grin on my face, but I couldn’t help it. I loved him more than I’d ever thought you could love someone, even with everything we’d been through. He’d loved me blindly while I took him for granted, not realizing how much he meant to me. He’d saved me from myself and I was a better person because of him. He’d also hurt me, just as I’d hurt him, but we didn’t think about that anymore and we spent our time trying to make up for those years we lost. Years we should’ve been together, but also years we knew we needed to be apart. Without those missing years, we wouldn’t have become who we were and it made us love each other even more.
And now as I stood here, I knew we’d come full-circle. What started as a glance between two kids, a simple boy from Kansas and an uppity snob from Boston, in Mr. Barry’s Constitution class, had turned into something so much more, so much deeper, so permanent. I held up the stick and didn’t say a word, but I watched as Jesse’s eyes focused, obviously confused as to what I held in my hand, and when I saw his eyes grow wider, I knew he understood.
“Riley,” he said gently. “Are you serious?” I nodded and he stood up, staring at me from across the room and I watched as his face turned up into the happiest smile I’d ever seen on him. “A baby?”
His voice was almost a whisper and I nodded again. Then he was dashing across the room, enveloping me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around him too as anxious and excited tears spilled from my eyes. Part of me was scared as hell as the enormity of the responsibility washed over me. The other part had never been so happy at the opportunity we were being given.
“I never thought I could love you more than I already do, Riley, but this…this is incredible and I can’t wait to share every moment of this with you.”
“Do you think we can do this?” My voice was low and nervous, but then he nodded, looking into my eyes and brushing my tears away, smiling at me in the way he did that always made everything alright, and I knew, together, we could do anything.
A Note From the Author
Thank you so much for reading Carry Me Home. If you’ve followed Riley and Jesse’s journey through Last Train Home and Far From Home, I truly hope I have given you a satisfactory ending to their story. Riley and Jesse were always going to end up together…I just couldn’t make it easy for them. The best things in life are worth fighting for and I think they put up a pretty good fight.
I
hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know the people of Carver, a fictional place that I based on the wonderfully quaint town of Wellington, Kansas, where my father grew up. I visited there often as a child and I’ve so enjoyed revisiting it during the writing of this series.
I owe a huge thank you to the readers who asked me to turn the story that began in Last Train Home into a series. When I wrote the first book, it was a stand-alone novel, but then readers got me thinking and I knew the rest of Riley and Jesse’s story should be told. I have to say, I’m a little sad it’s over. When you write, your characters become your best friends and after three books, I’m sad to say goodbye. I may revisit Carver again though. I’ve already begun work on Brandon and Mandy’s story. Who knows if it’ll ever see the light of day, but I’ve got lots of ideas and I’d love to see their story come to life. Keep on the lookout for it!
Music plays a huge part in my writing. Each major scene in my books is inspired by certain songs. I’ve included the songs that inspired Carry Me Home if you want to check them out.
Again…thank you so much for taking time out of your life to read my work, especially if you’ve been with me from the beginning of this crazy journey. Be on the lookout for my next book. I’m not sure which one I’ll release next, but you can always keep up with me by checking out my writing blog: megannugenisbell.blogspot.com or joining my Facebook page: Fans of Megan Nugen Isbell: Author. If you prefer email, I can be reached at [email protected]. I love talking with readers, so feel free to drop me a line. I’m also very appreciative of reviews of my work on Amazon and Goodreads to entice other readers to try my books. I currently have four other books available on Amazon: After the Sky Fell Down, Here With Me, and the first two books in The Home Series: Last Train Home and Far From Home. Thanks again!
With sincere thanks,
Megan
Carry Me Home Playlist
Carry Me Home by The Killers
Last Train Home by Ryan Star
Fall to Pieces by Avril Lavigne
Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne
Come on Get Higher by Matt Nathanson
Salt in the Snow by The Classic Crime
Until Morning by Dashboard Confessional
For the First Time by The Script
Science & Faith by The Script
The Man Who Can’t be Moved by The Script
Redemption by The Strange Familiar
I Remember You by Amber Carrington
Burning Bridges by OneRepublic
Not Over You by Gavin DeGraw
Say Something by A Great Big World
Pompeii by Bastille
Crossfire by Brandon Flowers
Our Story by Graham Colton
On Your Side by Graham Colton
Let it Go by Graham Colton
Best Days by Graham Colton
Longest Night by Howie Day
Collide by Howie Day
Always by Peter Bradley Adams
From the Inside Out by for King & Country
Missing by for King & Country
Start Over Again by Alex Band
What About Now by Daughtry
The Way It Was by The Killers
All of Me by John Legend
Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three) Page 25