The Amish Bachelor: Amish Romance (Seven Amish Bachelors Book 1)

by Samantha Price

  “Ah, so she didn’t move here specifically for the job with us?”

  “Nee. And I can’t say more than that.” She drew her lips tightly together.

  “So, there’s more to tell?”

  “I can’t say anything.”

  He pushed the teacup and saucer away from himself. This is what women always did. His mother wanted to tell him what else she knew about Hazel, but knew she shouldn’t. By dropping little hints, she wanted him to keep asking more and begging her to tell him. He resisted asking anything further even though he wanted to learn more. Mary Lou insisting Hazel had a secret had intrigued him.

  “Did Mary Lou put you up to this?”

  “Nee, it was my idea to talk with you.”

  “Gut. Otherwise I’d feel ganged up on.”

  His mother giggled. “That would be terrible. A big strong man being ganged up on by two small women.”

  “Small in stature, and that’s all,” he said. “Large in producing fear in men.”

  She smiled at him and then looked around his kitchen. “You’ve done a good job of living by yourself. This looks like a proper kitchen.”

  He chuckled. “It is a proper kitchen, and I have proper knives and forks, plates and cups, and even food.”

  “You’ve done well without a woman to look after you.”

  “Denke, I think.”

  “I should get back to your vadder. I’ve got the younger boys washing up and cleaning the kitchen.”

  “Really?”

  “Jah, it won’t hurt them.”

  “I know that, but you never made me do it.”

  “You were always out helping your vadder. ‘Dat’s little helper’ is what we used to call you.”

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  “Ahh, it would’ve been nice to have a dochder or two, maybe three. For some reason, Gott kept giving me boys. When you got older, I made myself happy with the thought of you marrying and then I’d have a dochder-in-law, but I’m still waiting.”

  “If you’ve given up on me and Mary Lou, there’s always Levi and Lucy.”

  “We’ll see what happens there. I’m not convinced about that pairing.”

  Isaac didn’t ask why she felt that way, preferring not to know. With private and personal knowledge came the burden of being careful not to repeat it.

  “Where would you live if Mary Lou and you got married?”

  “Right here. There’s nothing wrong with this place.”

  “I know, it’s lovely.”

  Isaac knew his mother was dropping subtle hints, trying to move him forward with his plans. “Don’t worry, Mamm, you’ll be the first to know when I ask Mary Lou to marry me.”

  “Denke. That’s just the way it should be.”

  “You have my word.”

  “Well, I’ve said what I’ve come to say, and now all there is left for me to do is go home and make your vadder a cup of hot tea before bedtime.” She pushed herself to her feet and he stood as well.

  “I’ll walk you out. You really shouldn’t have come out on your own like this.”

  “Why? Do you think I’m too old?”

  “Nee, not at all. You’re capable of doing all kinds of things.”

  She chuckled as she walked through the front doorway with him following. When they got to the buggy, he leaned down and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek before she got into the buggy. It often amazed him how, at five feet and two inches, she could have such tall sons. Even his father was only five feet eight and yet he and all of his brothers were over six feet tall.

  “Gut nacht.”

  “Gut nacht, Mamm.”

  He watched the buggy disappear into the dark night, then slowly walked back into his house.

  Chapter 7

  That night in bed, Isaac asked himself about the real reason he’d delayed taking his relationship with Mary Lou further. He wondered if it was anything deep in the recesses of his mind that was causing him to resist marriage. The only thing he could think of besides liking his own company was that girl he’d met when he was a young teen. He couldn’t share that with his mother because she would say it wasn’t a real thing to think genuine love could be so whimsical, but that girl had made the biggest impact on him when it came to love.

  It was many years ago while his family was on vacation that he and his brothers had played with the local Amish children. He’d become intrigued with a girl called Livy, and they’d gravitated toward one another as though there was a magnetic attraction. They had left the group and walked alone in the woods. The other children were close, he remembered, because they could hear their laughter nearby. In his eyes, the green-eyed beauty was perfect. In his childish naivety, he’d talked to her about marriage, and she’d agreed to marry him when they both grew up. After their walk they re-joined the others. And after that day, he never saw her again.

  Now that he was older, he knew that he’d never find that girl again and never marry her. It wasn’t her, necessarily, but it was that feeling of being connected to another person that he craved. If only he could find a woman and have that same feeling again. He’d never had that with Mary Lou or anyone else. If he’d had that feeling once in his life, then maybe, just maybe, he’d find it once more.

  Had Gott brought Hazel, with those same large green eyes as that girl, Livy, and put her right there in front of him to remind him to wait for a woman he’d connect with on that level?

  He thought about the similarity of that girl and Hazel. Although Hazel looked very much the same, it couldn’t have been Hazel because she lived in a different community than the one he’d visited, and besides that, her name was different. He shrugged, imagining that girl now grown up with five children and never having given his proposal of marriage that day in the woods another thought.

  When he woke up in the morning, he recalled that he’d dreamed that Mary Lou got married to someone else and he met Livy again at the wedding. Livy and he fell in love for real and were married. In his dream, Hazel had played the part of Livy. It would be hard to see her at work after having had a dream like that.

  On Saturday morning, Aunt Bee collected Hazel from the bus station. They'd already greeted each other with hugs, and were in the buggy headed to Bee's haus.

  “She’s at my place.”

  “Really? They let her out?”

  “Jah. She’s been doing fine on the medication, so far.”

  “Gut. I’m so glad. You can call me at the bishop’s haus and give me updates on her, you know.”

  “I don’t like to disturb them.”

  “They wouldn’t mind, and it would be reassuring to me.” She was glad to be home on familiar ground. It had been stressful dealing with new people and getting used to living in a new place. Although Ruth and John had been unfailingly kind, she was always careful that she didn’t do anything to annoy them.

  “How’s the new job?”

  “It’s going fine and everyone is so nice, and I’ve met a friend who’s invited me out with her friends. Well, she said she’d arrange something.”

  “I’m so happy about that. That’s just what you need, to mix with young people and forget all your troubles.”

  “It’s hard when all I can think about is Mamm and hoping she’s okay.”

  “You leave the worrying to me.”

  “Denke, Aunt Bee. I really don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

  “Gott is the one we need to thank. He’s the one who’s in control, not us.”

  “Jah, I forget that sometimes. If I would just remember that, I wouldn’t need to worry so much. How is Mamm? Does she have any idea of what’s going on, or is she still in another space?”

  “She’s back with us. She knows what’s real and what’s not. She’s been doing a lot of crying, but the doctor said that’s not a bad thing, that it might help her heal. She’ll be so pleased to see you.”

  They pulled up at Aunt Bee’s house and Hazel hurried inside to see her mother.

  “Mamm!” H
er mother was sitting on the couch with a blanket over her knees. She’d lost so much weight that her cheeks were sunken in and she had dark circles under her eyes. Her face brightened when she saw Hazel, and she spread her arms out. Hazel ran to the couch, knelt down, and hugged her.

  “Where have you been?”

  Hazel gulped as guilt rippled through her body. The medical bills were huge and Bee and her husband had offered to help pay them, but Hazel needed every cent from her job so they wouldn’t carry that burden alone. She'd lost her local bookkeeping job because of all the time she’d had to take off while looking after her mother after Hazel’s father had left them. Her income from the job with the Fullers was sorely needed. Hazel couldn’t be in two places at once. “I’ve been working, Mamm. In Lancaster County, with a lovely family. They make kitchen cabinets.”

  “Where’s our haus? Why am I here with Bee?”

  Disappointment filled Hazel’s heart and she steeled herself not to cry. It didn’t seem like her mother had improved much at all. “We couldn’t continue paying the rent on the haus, Mamm, and that’s why we came to live with Bee. Isn’t that exciting? You like Bee, she’s your favorite schweschder.” That almost always made her mother chuckle, as Bee was also her only sister.

  Instead of laughing now, her mother stared at her with her bottom lip quivering just slightly.

  “How are you?” Hazel asked, trying not to look worried.

  “I’m fine.” Then her mother began to cry.

  Hazel figured she was crying about her husband, Hazel’s father, who’d left them. He was the only reason her mother cried. “We’ll be fine, Mamm. I’m working to get us money and one day we’ll have a nice place of our own again. It’ll be just like the old days, only better.” Better because her father wouldn’t be able to cause them any more pain. He was finally out of their lives for good.

  Bee walked in the door with Hazel’s overnight bag. “Ach, denke, Aunt Bee. I clean forgot to get my bag. I was so excited to see Mamm.”

  “That’s fine. I’ll put it up in your room. You stay talking to your mudder.”

  Hazel gave her an appreciative nod and turned back to her mother, who was quietly sobbing. “It’s okay, Mamm. It’s all good.”

  “Nee, it’s not. Where’s Doug?”

  “He’s gone and he’s not coming back. He doesn’t care about us anymore.” Hazel thought the truth was best. Doug wasn’t coming back and that was that.

  “Where is he?”

  “He left us for an Englisch woman.”

  “Why?”

  Hazel shook her head. He was always coming and going, in and out of their lives ever since Hazel could remember. She’d lost respect for him long ago, but every time Doug left, he took a little piece of her mother with him. Now Hazel was looking at a shell of a woman. “We don’t need him.”

  “I do,” she said in a small voice.

  “Nee, you don’t. Neither of us needs him. You might think you do, but you don’t.”

  “Why haven’t I ever been good enough?”

  “Mamm, it’s Doug who wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t a right fit for us.”

  “He’s your vadder.”

  “Well, he was never much of a vadder. Neither of us could rely on him.” She took her mother’s crumpled handkerchief from her hands, and wiped her tears away. The first time she remembered having to wipe away her mother’s tears was at the age of five. Then Doug would return, only to leave again, a pattern repeated every few years. It seemed just when he’d regained her mother’s trust, he’d leave again. “Forget about Dat. We can get by without him.”

  “I thought things were different this time. I thought he’d stay.”

  “We can’t trust him or the things he says. We can’t let him hurt us anymore.” Hazel had never let a man get close. Seeing the relationship between her mother and father had put her off relationships. Doug had told someone he’d never had a rumspringa and that was the reason he was so unsettled. He was in and out of the community so much that the bishop not only had to have strong words with him, he’d been shunned three times that Hazel could remember. During that time, her mother and she weren’t supposed to talk or eat with him, but that was difficult, nearly impossible when he ruled the household and had a violent temper.

  “Are you staying here now, Hazel?”

  “Only for tonight and I must leave tomorrow afternoon. I’m staying at Ruth and John’s house. John is the bishop in the community where I’m staying in Lancaster County. They’re lovely people and they’ve made me welcome.”

  Her mother took hold of her hand. “Can’t you stay?”

  She looked into her mother’s eyes. She couldn’t stay because she needed the money to cover all their expenses. Since her father left they had fallen into bad debt. “I’ll come back every weekend. You’ll have Bee here.”

  Bee walked back into the room. “That’s right, Judy. We’ve been having a good time, you and I, haven’t we?”

  Her mother nodded. “It’s been good. We’ve been sewing a bit.”

  “That’s great, Mamm. You love sewing.”

  Her mother turned to Hazel. “Have you heard from your vadder at all?”

  “Nee, Mamm, and I don’t expect to. We’ve got to let him go. He’s out of our lives for good.”

  “I have letters to give you that I’ve written him. Won’t you send them to him?”

  “I don’t know where he is.”

  “When you find out where he is you can send them to him.”

  Hazel nodded. “Okay. I’ll take them with me when I leave tomorrow.” Hazel had no intention of sending those letters, and neither had she any intention of trying to find out where her father was. There was no point. But she didn’t want to set her mother’s treatment back by telling her so. Hazel was just glad Mamm was now out of the hospital, but she didn’t know if her mother would ever fully recover from all the mental abuse heaped on her by Doug over the past years. He had always put her down and told her she was no good and couldn’t do anything right.

  He’d also told her on many occasions that no one else had wanted to marry her and she was lucky to have him. Hazel could only listen to the nasty things her father said to her mother. Doug rarely spoke to her and if Hazel spoke to him, she rarely got more than a grunt in return.

  Every time Doug was getting ready to walk out on them, as a cruel parting jab, he’d tell Judy he would’ve stayed if she’d been able to give him more children. She in turn was always blaming his bad behavior on herself. Hazel remembered hearing her mother say, If only I'd been a better wife and given him more kinner, then he would’ve stayed. Even as a child, Hazel had known he was lying and she had seen right through him. He never paid her any attention, so why would he have wanted more children? They were cruel words said simply to make Judy feel inadequate and worthless as a woman. The worst thing for her mother would be if he were to come back.

  The last time he left, Hazel could tell it was the last of the last. He’d found himself an Englisch woman at his workplace and had left to move in with her, after taking all their rent money and all their savings. There was no coming back from that.

  “Why don’t you and Hazel take a walk in the sunshine?” Bee suggested to Judy.

  “Jah, let’s, Mamm.”

  “Okay.”

  Hazel stood and then held out her hands and helped her mother to her feet.

  Once they were outside walking along the fence line of Bee’s property, her mother said, “I hope one day I can be a better mudder to you.”

  “You’re the best mudder. What are you talking about?”

  “I’m not. I’ve tried, but I’ve been sad most of the time and that can’t have been good for you to be around.”

  “I’m fine. I’ve turned out okay, haven’t I?”

  “Jah, but no thanks to me.”

  “Stop talking like that, Mamm.”

  “I hope you have a better life than I’ve had. Be careful who you marry. That’s one piece of advice I can
pass on to you.”

  “I will. That’s for certain.” Marriage was nice to dream about, and if she ever found the perfect man she might marry. But she’d always been fearful any man might turn out like her father had.

  “There are nice men around, just be sure that you marry one of them. Don’t fall in love with someone who’ll break your heart.”

  Hazel nodded, but didn’t ask her mother how to tell which was which. Her mother hadn’t known what Doug was like until after they married. She didn’t dare ask how to be sure in case it raised bad memories, or good memories of the brief times when things had been good between them. Their relationship had been a rollercoaster of emotions, with extreme highs followed by lows that were just as intense.

  Her stay at Aunt Bee’s was far too brief and Monday morning had come far too quickly.

  “I was hoping to see you at the meeting yesterday, Hazel.”

  Hazel looked up to see Joshua. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning.”

  “I wasn’t there because I went to see my family.”

  “In Allentown?”

  “Jah.”

  “Aren't there any jobs where your family is?”

  Hazel stared at him, not knowing what to say. Fortunately, Mr. Fuller came to her rescue. “Don't bother Hazel now. She's got a lot of work to get through today.”

  “Sorry, Hazel.”

  Hazel gave a smile and a little nod and Joshua walked away. She turned back to her computer and started working again. Now she was sure that Mr. Fuller knew about her situation. The bishop must've mentioned it to him.

  “Hazel, my wife would like you to come to dinner tomorrow night if you can make it. You can come home with us and then we’ll take you home when it's finished, later in the evening.”

  “That’s very kind of Mrs. Fuller. Please tell her I’d love to come for dinner.”