I Walked With Her

by Lisa Barrington

  And I am done. I am officially going to vomit my coffee. Fuck this. Where are some clothes.

  "If I know Max, she is waiting and eavesdropping from her door."

  An immediate reflex I yell. "I am not."

  Shit I think I said that too quickly. I am absolutely going to kick his ass. I open my door and return to the den. Never did find any sweats, only have a pair of yoga pants and a tee shirt in tow. I am in my oversized robe, simply to spite Ben. I will deal with him at another time. He exposed personal parts of me I do not share. It is a good thing he leaves in the morning.

  I smirk as I pass him, handing Lindsay the clothes.

  "I am pretty certain these are going to be short on you, but definitely drier than what you have on."

  "Thank you. I'm sure they’ll be fine. You didn't choose the robe on the left. I saw it myself. I could not help but wonder how sexy you must look in it. That is not to say I am not enjoying what you chose. That looks cozy enough for two."

  Again? Ben spits a small amount of seltzer as he laughs, when my eyes squint in a small degree of awe. Whose house does she think she is in? Oh please can we play now? Please?

  “Oh Max, Max I like her. I really like her."

  Oh, Lindsay, you young, naive, precious one, with absolutely no idea.

  Lindsay stands, I can see in her smile, she truly feels she is ahead of me. She extends her hand to me. "I'm going to go change. Come with me?"

  She takes my hand before I can answer. She continues over in front of Ben. I shoot him a stern look. I am Daniel and the Lion’s Den is my room. It is me who will walk out of this unchanged. My truth. Twisted. Truly. I hope they are both ready. Olive juice Ben.

  Lindsay places her other hand out for Ben. First time I've seen him speechless. “Are you going to join us?”

  Now, I smile with ferocious intent. I allow this young woman to lead us both to my bedroom. Once inside, she lets go of my hand. I lean against my dresser and close the door behind them both. I should have a sign on my bedroom door, ‘enter at your own risk’. What is most titillating, even if I did, I feel it would not deter this woman before me. For now, I watch. She is playing her next move. Lindsay walks Ben to my oversized reading chair. Part of me cannot help but feel I am watching a car crash. How do you look away?

  She leans up and kisses him. I can see his surprise, yet pure delight. He is immediately aroused. This turns me on. I am slightly confused. I've never wanted to see him with someone else. It is then, my madness returns. I realize this arousal is different. I am enthralled by the fierce competition beginning. This is no longer between us both. That is what arouses my senses. Their kiss becomes more lustful. I feel my heartbeat quicken. I know her next move, as well I know what mine shall be. This is mesmerizing. I can’t tear my eyes away.

  He thinks she is my match? Is this a reflection of who I am? His hands travel all over her. As tall as she is, she is on her toes seemingly trying to get deeper inside him. I clasp my hands tight on the lip of my dresser behind me. Lindsay moves her hand between them. She begins to stroke him over his pants. I'm not sure how long I can stand here. I am witnessing pure lust.

  For the briefest moment, a waive on insecurity rushes through me. My twisted mind questions me in my room? Insecurity in my own four walls? Do I provide this for him? This lust I am witnessing. I have never played him as a toy. A game. Okay enough! I am not an insecure woman! Get it together Max. Tonight is his fantasy. I will not allow myself to become weak.

  Finally, Lindsay backs away.

  She licks her lips before she speaks. "Do you mind sitting for a bit? I need to finish what I started before you came home. Stay?"

  Oh! He is not going anywhere. I would tie him down, if he tried. Still she doesn’t realize this is MY room? I am beginning to feel slightly bad in how I am going to play with her. Though technically, this may be educational for her. Okay there is no harm then. I feel better. See it is all about perception.

  She turns sideways now between the both of us. This is what Ben said he wants. This is exactly what he is going to get. Stay? You can't be this brazen and not see this is exactly why I have you here. She turns directly towards me. The time is now here. Your move still Lindsay. That last move was with Ben technically, not me. Kitchen no longer counts it wasn’t in my den. Oh God, no. Is she really going to open her mouth again for anything other than pleasure. Does she have a mute button? Here we go again.

  “I still find it unclear myself how I got here, from a cup of coffee only a few hours ago. However, you do have me here now. So I am taking full advantage of what is before me. I have full intention of living this right now."

  Ah, yes, they insinuation again, she has not done this before. I am quick again to respond to such a deceptive statement. “You’ve really never done this before? I am truly beginning to wonder. As far as living it right now, hhmm, I am still waiting to see what you have to give. What was it you said in the kitchen earlier? I am having trouble remembering?”

  It is at that very moment, I can see Ben’s eyes. He realizes this is a game, not sex for me. Not even fucking. This is a game. Control. This will be all he never witnesses. The games I play, but never before in front of him. Never before with him.

  Chapter Three

  Lindsay walks to me. I see Ben not sit but fall into my chair. I can see how hard he is, despite his cargos still buttoned. He is equally aroused. I wonder what he must be thinking now by his last expression. It is only when I see him search for my eyes and mouths, "Olive juice".

  I see a small, but evident level of fear that is unsettling for him. This side of me I've hid from him. However, this game, this woman, this is for him. She has one idea. She is here to play also. The way she touched Ben, I see her desire for tonight also. She is not solely looking to play with me.

  I only have one plan. I will not be satisfied until it is completed. I am sorry Lindsay, sorry I deceived you. I am quite certain you will enjoy this, but my intentions are not pure nor honest. Truth, I will do anything for this man. The rush of adrenaline and the ease it pulsates through my veins. The euphoria I feel at this moment is intoxicating. To think, I have yet to be touched.

  I look directly at Lindsay's beauty and I smile. She is like a porcelain doll I am about to play with. I will use her for pleasure. I will see to it she fulfills any of Ben's desires. I will be given and she shall be taken. I will leave her to wonder, what the hell even happened tonight.

  She smiles as she stops directly in front of me. I can see her confidence rising. I love a confident woman. Even if her confidence is a bit misplaced for this arena.

  She places her fingers on the top button of her dress. Never leaving my eyes, she begins opening them. One by one.

  Last time I looked, my room was shabby chic, not whorehouse porn. Simply pull it over your head. Honestly, it would have the same effect.

  She finishes and opens her dress, letting it drop to the floor behind her. Despite being utterly amused, I need to be serious. I want this. Her body may be different, but her mind is the same as all the others. It is time. My turn. I take her. I run the back of my hand over her cheek. I say nothing; I only smile at her again. I pick up where I left off in the kitchen. Always begin with the eyes.

  She stays in my gaze as she unties my robe. She pushes it down off my arms, dropping it to the floor. I place my hands back on the lip of my dresser. I lean slightly back against the wood to keep my full stare. Lindsay places her hands behind her back and unclasps her bra slipping out of it also. I never leave her eyes. Her intent, it seems, is to be naked before me. Lindsay ever so slowly removes her panties. It is fire that I feel burn through my pupils as I look her over. I take in my opponent one last time. I take all of her in.

  A small anchor tattoo rests on her hipbone. That is going to drive Ben insane. He has a weak spot for the anchor on my wrist. An anchor on a stranger, so close to her sex could be a distraction. I am surprised. I will need to make sure she, again sees mine. Reinforce it is there, on my
pulse. An anchor within an infinity sign.

  I had it done, after Ben gave me his one-year coin. A new. I meant something true. I was entrusted with a physical symbol of his hardest journey. Small purple flowers, green leaves adorn it. Beauty in the possibility of a new life. ‘Dream’ inscribed in the infinity sign that runs around it. I many not ‘believe’ dreams do come true. Though in my most private moments, I wonder what it must be like. To dream forever.

  The anchor, in one respect is the obvious. In a more relevant one, it reinforced why I returned. I returned to the beginning. Anchor my soul, my mind, and me. Anchor one’s soul, as you dream forever. I anchor him. He anchors me. Forever here. In my past, the hope of a future. Maybe a dream I cannot admit.

  To this day, Ben traces it with his fingers at surprising moments. I know he does not know all of its truth. He is well aware of its placement. The place one can count the beats of my heart. I have purpose in all I do. There is not a moment with me he cannot see it, we do not speak about it. Another inscription of life. Truth. Truly, twisted.

  Standing bare, erotically exposed she smiles as she takes the final step to me. Lindsay kisses me. First licking my lips, as if I am a meal she is tasting before seeking to satisfy her appetite. However, this is my den. I am no longer Daniel, for I will be the lion first. The lion that devours the men who doubted Daniel. The game always consists of being both. I am always the one who enjoys knowing the ending before a show begins. This show I have watched many a time before.

  I allow her kiss. I even close my eyes to what I will focus on most. Fucking. Containing her, as I provide Ben with one of the most desired cliché fantasies in the world. One he voiced himself so many times, hence here we stand now.

  I let her remove my bra. My nipples grow erect to an almost painful ache. The thought of Ben watching is all the arousal I need. As for Lindsay, I will give her the rope she needs at this time. The one she will feel wrapped tight in later.

  She moves from deep within my mouth to my neck. With my breasts in her hands, she kneads them. I relish in selfish pleasure. With my hands back on the dresser behind me I stand still. I take. I enjoy her hands and lips on my flesh. I only allow low moans, as she moves down further. I will alter my rules for being vocal around others. This I will do for Ben. Only because of him.

  Now sucking wildly on one breast, she removes my thong with her other hand. Traces the inside of my legs as she has parts them traveling back. I watch her move down and then back up. I never look toward Ben. Not yet.

  Lindsay is flawless, almost satisfying. With her hands caressing my bare skin her lips find my collarbone. She places soft small kisses until she is at my neck. I drop my head back as my chest falls forward. She whispers in my ear.

  "Don’t you want to touch me?"

  I reply in more than a whisper. Low enough, though loud enough for Ben to hear.

  “No. I feel you still have more to do. More to show me.”

  Lindsay stops kissing my neck and attempts to looks deep in me. She tries to see into me. She, shall not. I have walls. Look and you shall find cement. Bricks. My soul you shall not find. She only looks at me more determined than before.

  Lindsay takes me by my waist. She presses me hard against her. She finds the back of my neck with her hand, intertwines her fingers deep in my hair. Holding me tight against her she turns us both around. Her hand is tight on my ass, searching to find me low and underneath. I continue to stare at her. I lick my lips now as she did and I wait. She is about to try and strike.

  Her kiss this time is no longer gentle or soft. It is lustful and deep. Everyone desires more of what they suddenly feel they must work for. May not possibly be enough for. May possibly not get. I will give her more rope.

  I place my arms around her, as I pull her back towards my bed. I choose to respond. I kiss her with the same desire she unravels on me. I move us both against my bed. I then let her body go. Let her lips fall from mine. This part is going to be the easiest. It does not matter man or woman; this act is the same. I am the one on the receiving end. I sit. I am aroused. I am feeling fiercely in control. I would like to orgasm now. She is going to bring me the release I desire, all while Ben watches. A movie this is not. A sight still, he shall never forget. A moment that is far more for him, than me.

  I move back slightly on the bed. Lindsay stares down at me. Looking as if she feels she has the upper hand. Funny how people feel, if they are the ones about to bring forth the pleasure, they are the ones getting what they truly desire. Rather the truth is, the one receiving it is the one who played the game correctly. I am getting exactly what I want from her.

  Something a young man, a teacher of sorts taught me a very long time ago. He taught the essence of control, the truth. What became one of my truths. I can hear his words consistently when I pursue my sexual conquests. 'I really do not want you. I simply relish in how much I can make you want me'.

  I lean back. I open my legs exposing all of me. I am wet. I do not dare glance in Ben’s direction. I stay with Lindsay. “Now, I recall what you said earlier. I hope you will find this better than the kitchen floor. Do you still want to have me? I would like you to get on your knees for me. You told Ben, you wanted to finish what you started. Here I am.”

  “Are you certain you can handle what I am capable of doing to you?”

  “I have no doubt.”

  Lindsay puts her hands on my knees, as I rest my elbows down beside me. She leans completely forward over my body and kisses my lips. She bites them before she lets them go.

  “Max, I believe you should get ready to beg.”

  Foolish girl. “One. I believe you are forgetting we are not alone. Two. You will need to be aware. I do not beg. I command. Feel free to continue to challenge me.”

  She laughs. She looks over at Ben. I can see her pucker her lips as if blowing a kiss. I myself do not look.

  This pleasure I will enjoy. Oral sex is not about a man or woman; it is only skill. One, I have known many not to have. Here and now, I do not believe that will be in question. Lindsay turns back toward me still leaning over me, as her breasts fall away from her body. She is aroused. This power over her brings me more pleasure. Especially, her foolishly feeling she herself has the control. Manic, I possibly am. Question is will this evening send me further down the rabbit hole.

  Lindsay pushes my shoulders down, so I am flat on my back. I am amused again, not taken. I smile. It begins. I do prefer to watch. I lean back up on my elbows as she gets down on her knees exactly as I asked. Again, so foolish. Never ever kneel before anyone when seeking control. She runs her hands slowly up and down my thighs and back up my belly. She kisses my hips then runs her tongue along my pelvis. She is attempting to tease. I do not do teasing. I sit up more, defiant against how she wishes me to lay. I slowly intensify her need to succeed.

  I spread my legs wider, with one hand I slowly move her head down. If you ever thought only a man can do this, understand they solely taught us how in which, it could and should be done better.

  I can hear Lindsay's breath quicken. She is now on me. Parting me with her tongue, she circles and gently licks. I am amused. She moves one hand under her mouth, entering me. I stay on my elbows. I continue to watch. I watch what I dawned. I master a display of pleasure that sparks all of me. I let out deep moans for them both. For her reassurance is greatly part of my game. For Ben, I need him to believe.

  There is no question she has done this many, many a time. My moans grow louder as my body falls in synch. The smallest hairs on my body stand. My nipples so erect, the air feels erotic. My muscles within me envelope her. I begin to circle my pelvis upon her face. It is then she moves deeper. I swell with desire. My arousal heightens when she lifts her head but leaves her hand to look at me. I look in her eyes. She is exceptionally sexy, especially as she licks her lips again before speaking. Pulling apart rotating her fingers inside me. “Is this what you want?”

  “I want more. I need you.” No. I actually do not. Howe
ver, if you do not throw the bone to be devoured, the animal shall never trust your intentions. Especially, when you want obedience from them. We are all animals. We are all twisted.

  Lindsay returns with soulful desire. I am swollen and throbbing. I have a capacity to control my own orgasm. Take pleasure as long as I wish. That is, when I am not plain faking it. Ben is here watching there shall be no faking. He alone, watching shall set this free. My body screams to end this now. My mind still questions, how I wish to end this for her and him. I decide it will not be by me. I am not having either of them. I am also not going to give. My control drives my ultimate pleasure. She could fuck me for hours, but in the end, my desire to fuck her is lacking. I am already getting what serves me. Besides, despite her undeniable sex appeal, I much prefer men. I think she will feel the same tonight. Tonight I share. Ben will finish this all.

  Lindsay reaches up with her other arm pulling at my breast. It does feel good. I am ready. It is time. Certain if she continues and I move right, it will not be one, but multiples. I do need harder. That is fucking. Do not give me anything sweet. Fuck me or stop. I continue to watch. I need her now to feel the deception, that she is in control. Yes, it is truly only a game. A twisted game.

  Okay it’s time. Meryl Streep, I call once again on your Oscar winning spirit to embody me at this time. Good Lord here we go. “Oh God. I am going to erupt. Lindsay, I want you to come with me. I don’t want to feel this alone. God, I am so close! I can make you come with me. Lindsay, I am begging you.”

  I am close. So what. I am more, so damn entertained. Incredible how I will say anything at times. I even got in the religious reference. We all can say we find God, at these particular moments. She lifts her head from my body.

  I move back slightly. “Stand and finish me. I need us to come together. You are extraordinary. Every touch is driving me insane. You said I would beg and I am. You are truly my match.” Sweet Lord! The depths I shall travel for this man!