Autumn's Shadow

by Lyn Cote

  "Don't keep me in suspense," she said when they'd crossed the street. "How bad was the fight?"

  She deserved a life uncomplicated by others. Why didn't she just move ten thousand miles away from her family?

  Because she doesn't turn tail and run when the going gets rough like you, his conscience replied. She sticks with her family.

  The words stung but were too true. Keely was willing to pour herself out for others. Keely was even acting as her thankless brother's keeper. But Burke didn't think that her love would make the difference in regards to Grady. No one else cared enough about him to make him grow up. And that's what he needed.

  Wishing he could take her far away from here, somewhere she could enjoy this late October day, he instead led her to the dark green glossy park bench. She sat down. He joined her, but he didn't face her. It hurt him to have to tell her about Grady.

  Bending over, he rested his elbows on his thighs and knotted his hands together. "I'm sorry I didn't call you last night. But it was late, and I thought you'd been through enough. I tried to get here early this morning so I could have a moment to tell you privately, but that didn't happen either."

  "Okay."

  He looked up. "This is it. After I left you last night, Harlan called and asked me to pick him up a black cow at the A&W. I went in and—"

  "Caught Nick and Grady fighting again." Her voice sounded exhausted.

  He nodded, hating the truth. "If it's any consolation, Nick had disobeyed me too. I'd told him to go straight home after the fight at the game. Except for church, school, driving Harlan, and volunteering at the Family Closet, he's grounded for the rest of the month."

  She sighed and pressed her hands to her face. "And you took both of them in and charged them with disturbing the peace."

  He nodded again. Her voice didn't show any censure, any personal offense, so different from her father's bias. Keely just sounded tired.

  Earlier this morning, Rodd had sent Burke home before Turner had come in to pick up his son. Rodd had told him he expected Turner make a scene and throw his weight around. And he wanted to deal with Turner, not Burke. "Maybe I should have handled it differently. But I did it because I thought both kids needed to be taught a lesson."

  "I guessed that my being the principal might make things worse with Grady," she said finally, "but now I think Grady would be acting this way regardless. I just wish I could get through to him."

  He looked to her. "No one could blame you for all that's happened. I'm not making much progress with Nick either."

  How would it have been different between Keely and him if Nick had stayed in Milwaukee and Grady out East? As it stood now, every time he and Kelly got together it was because of trouble. Their two teens were right in the middle of it. Was one of them the firesetter?

  The wind gusted suddenly, and red-tipped yellow leaves cascaded from the maple next to them, rushing over the lawn and pavement. It reminded Burke that time was passing and he was no closer to finding out who was responsible for the pranks, the increasingly dangerous pranks.

  "People have gotten the wrong idea about your nephew. I'm sure you overheard—" her voice became gritty—"what people were saying about him at the game last night and at the truck stop."

  He recalled all too well Veda's nastiness and all the snide comments people had made, not just about Nick but about Keely. But none of it mattered the longer he stayed near her. A rush of feeling nearly swept away his logic. How much longer can I hold back from touching her, kissing her again?

  "I heard them. I'm not deaf," he answered at last.

  She closed her eyes.

  He nearly reached for her. But what if someone saw them together?

  She opened her eyes. "My brother's reputation was bad enough when he only spent time here home from school on vacations." She sighed. "I know why he's doing what he's doing. But why can't I get him to see that it will end badly for him, not just for my father?"

  "Maybe he doesn't care even about himself. I've seen that. Some kids have no boundaries inside them. At least, that's how I see it. No sense of a future. Or how what they do affects others. Or even themselves."

  She turned to look at him. "Harlan is right, you know. People might well be afraid of Grady taking over the mill someday." She leaned back against the bench. "So it's natural for folks around here to want your nephew to be the culprit, to be the one who's causing the fights."

  "And setting the fires?" Her understanding glance warmed him. Her honesty drew him even as he fought its currents. Everything between them was too mixed up, tied up and confused. He glanced away.

  She nodded. "If it's Grady, it's worse for Steadfast and LaFollette. Your nephew has no influence here, and he'll probably finish school and leave. But my brother will inherit the mill and the rest of my parents' property. I've seen the will. I get heirlooms, stock, and money. My brother, the male heir, gets everything else."

  Her voice was raw, but he could change nothing, not even for her sake. How did she handle all the talk? More than once he'd the urge to shove words down throats.

  But he had a new trouble to deal with now. I think your brother is setting the fires, Keely. But I don't know how to prove it. I can't imagine the pain that it will cause you if I do. And I have no way to shield you from any of this. I can't allow myseof to get close to you when I may have to shut your brother down. He knew if he proved Grady guilty, it would crush her. She wasn't irresponsible and arrogant like her father.

  However, his sympathy for her didn't make an ounce of difference. If he found evidence that would convict her brother, he'd proceed with it. He'd have no choice. Experience had taught him that a kid like Grady was headed for big trouble. Keely couldn't stop Grady, and her father wouldn't even try.

  An unwelcome thought intruded—the guilty party might not be Grady. Maybe he was focusing on Grady because he couldn't deal with it being his own nephew. Nick, after all, had set off the firecrackers during the game earlier in the season. And Burke knew that last year Nick had been accused of setting a fire in a waste bin outside his school in Milwaukee. Nick had staunchly denied it, but it had cost him a week's suspension. Maybe I'm just fooling myself Lord. Am I as blind as Turner?

  "I hoped Nick," he muttered, "was doing better when I saw him sitting with the team." His chest constricted. The thought came that he might have failed Nick by doing too little too late. On the other hand, what would it cost Keely to see her brother go the length of his rebellion? He bent his forehead to his hands, grappling with these fears. Fear for Nick. Fear for Keely. Fear for himself.

  "I know you think Grady set those fires last night, and I don't doubt that he could have." Keely's voice intruded, soft, earnest. "But Nick is still smoldering with anger and not all of it is aimed at you. He's angry at Grady and at the school. And Walachek was also there last night. He didn't talk to me, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't like to make me look bad my first year as principal. The culprit might still be someone we don't even suspect. Grady and Nick haven't cornered the market on rebellion."

  Her words only upped Burke's pain a notch. She's right. I haven't made any progress in solving this case. I don't even know if there is only one culprit.

  On Saturday by the time the morning fog lifted, the volunteers had already stripped shingles off the roof of the Family Closet, closed for the day. Buzzing electric saws sliced out the spongy wood that had to be replaced and recovered.

  Walachek, silent and sullen, had come to work off some of his community service hours, part of his sentence. Nick and Harlan had also arrived early. Now Harlan was giving advice to Nick, on the roof as carpenter's helper.

  Shading her eyes with her hand, Keely tilted her head back and watched the men on the roof. Lord, please help the volunteers get this done before the next rain. And keep everyone safe.

  She realized she had unconsciously been searching for Burke's face and tried to shut her mind to thoughts of him. Uneasy about having Walachek here, she walked back inside, where J
ayleen and Carrie were waiting to work with her. Both girls had signed up to be included in the Family Closet Outreach. This presented an opportunity to help these girls mature, but Keely didn't feel capable of much today.

  "Okay, girls." She forced herself to sound cheery and loud enough to be heard over the general racket outside and the pounding overhead."Let's get started. We aren't going to sort donations today. We're going to do something fun. We're going to decorate for fall. First, let's get the boxes of decorations down from the attic."

  The next few minutes were spent locating the ladder, having Jayleen crawl up and hand down the boxes to Carrie and Keely. Then Keely had the girls spread the boxes around the tops of shelves and counters. "Here, Carrie, stick up these tiny suction clips all around the main window and then put up these strings of little pumpkin lights."

  "Oh, cute." Carrie took the smaller box from Keely.

  Keely turned to Jayleen. "Would you unpack all our ceramic jack-o-lanterns and make sure they have the 'Not for sale' stickers on their bottoms? People try to buy them every year." She grinned.

  Jayleen nodded. Then Keely heard her name being called from outside. "I'll be right back, girls." She hurried out the back door where she was given the bad news that another section of the roof under the shingles needed to be replaced. She sighed. "It can't be helped. Who can drive over to the mill for more plywood? You can put it on our account."

  Nick and Harlan left in Harlan's truck and Keely walked around to the front entrance. She needed to check if Ma and Mabel Franz had dropped off enough sandwiches for the workers or if she'd need to make more.

  From the front room, the girls' voices drifted to her.

  "...two guys like you. You're really lucky," Carrie said.

  "Lucky? Me?" Jayleen's voice was softer.

  "Grady Turner has it big time for you."

  Keely's stomach turned. Grady had been sullen and sarcastic all week. She'd had to suspend him another day this week for skipping and starting another fight, this time with Shane Blackfeather. Two suspensions in one week. Her father had retaliated with an angry phone call, and her mother had wept on the phone. Was Keely trying to destroy Grady's chances of getting into college?

  "Likes me?" Jayleen barked an ugly sounding laugh. "He just wants to use me."

  "But he's got money, and I'd give anything to ride in that car of his."

  Keely could only shake her head at this level of maturity. A car did not a man make.

  A pause. "Then tell him." Jayleen's voice cut the heavy silence with an edge of sarcasm.

  Carrie made an unhappy noise. "He wouldn't have anything to do with me. I'm not pretty enough."

  "What about your baby's father?"

  "Oh, he's all right. But he's such a baby. Grady's been around. He's hasn't had to spend his life in this Podunk county," Carrie complained. "You even got to go to Milwaukee. I've never been anywhere."

  "I'm happy to be back here with my family. You ought to be glad you're with your aunt now, and you'll have family to help you."

  Keely heard the pain in Jayleen's voice.

  "Having a baby isn't such a big deal. My cousin's having her second. She gets money from the government, and she's going to be able to live in Eau Claire and go to school. She's going to be a beautician."

  Keely had heard this kind of faulty reasoning before. Unfortunately.

  "Having a baby is the biggest deal there is," Jayleen stated. "You're a little girl if you think—"

  "I'm not," Carrie snapped back.

  "You are if you think going out with Grady because he's got money and a cool car is more important than doing right by your baby."

  "You've got a lot of room to talk. I didn't run around with a bunch of druggies!" A door slammed. Silence. Had Carrie left?

  Breathing a silent prayer, Keely walked into the main room. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

  Jayleen kept her back to Keely. "Carrie left."

  Keely nodded, reading the distress in Jayleen's voice and the stiff way she held her shoulders. Lord, give me the words."Jayleen, you've been through a lot. And I told you I won't let Grady bother you anymore."

  Jayleen made a sound of dismissal, a sniff. "Your brother is a jerk, but he's nothing compared to . . ."

  Keely took her heart in her hands and asked, "Your baby's father?"

  Turning to Keely, Jayleen nodded, a shadow moving over her expression. Tears welled up. "How am I ever going to make it up to my baby? To Rachel?" Tears slipped down Jayleen's high cheekbones.

  Keely went to her and folded her in her arms. "It all depends on you, what you do from this day forward."

  Trembling against Keely, Jayleen wept, gasping for breath. "How can I ever make it right?"

  "You don't have to. God will make it right if you'll let him."

  "I can't face God. Not after all I've done." Jayleen fought for composure, gulping air.

  Keely combed her mind, seeking God's words of comfort."Jayleen, if you read the Bible, you'll find out that Jesus only spoke with angry toward one kind of person when he was on earth."

  "People like me," Jayleen choked out.

  "No. He only got angry with religious people who put themselves above sinners. The holier-than-thou crowd. He had no patience with them. Jayleen, Jesus loved people. That's what drew people to him. His love."

  "How can he love me? I don't love me. I hate me."

  Keely tightened her hold on the girl. "God loves you. Jesus loves you. When he was on earth, he loved people so much that the religious people called him 'the friend of sinners.' They meant it as a putdown. But it was what he wanted to be, what he came to be. Sinners weren't afraid to tell him what they'd done because he didn't judge them. He loved them."

  "But how can you say what I've done is right?" Jayleen wiped her tears with the backs of her hands. "I was so stupid. I believed his lies and then he did awful things and I couldn't stop him."

  "You didn't do right. Jesus didn't tell sinners that they'd done what God wanted. He accepted their confessions, and then he'd tell them, 'Go and sin no more.' "

  Jayleen relaxed against her. "I don't ever want to do what I did again."

  "Then tell Jesus so. He can forgive you, and he will send his love flowing through you and change you forever. Let him help you change your life. And when she gets older, your baby will thank you." Keely cupped Jayleen's chin with her hand. "That's why the Family Closet is here, to let people feel God's love in a way that they need right now."

  Jayleen tugged her face away. "I still don't understand how he can love me."

  "His love is beyond our understanding. His love changed me. I don't want to think what my life would have been without him."

  Though drawing away, Jayleen looked up at her. "What did you do that he had to forgive you?"

  Keely shook her head. "A person doesn't have to do anything we think of as evil to need God. Sin is sin. My mother sent me to Sunday school and I learned about Jesus when I was very small. I realized then that I needed him. I don't understand how except that I felt his love and I wanted it in my life." She shrugged. "I don't know how to explain it. But it's real, Jayleen. And it's yours for the asking. Do you want Jesus to wipe away your sin and become a new child in him?"

  Jayleen frowned. "I don't know . . ."

  Keely read by the girl's expression that Jayleen expected ...what? For Keely to pressure her, reject her? She chose her next words with care. "Pray about it, Jayleen. If you ask God what he wants you to do, he'll answer."

  Jayleen stared at her and then turned back to the array of orange ceramic pumpkins of all sizes.

  Keely went over to the window to finish up what Carrie had left undone, her heart thanking God for giving her such an opening. But she grieved for Carrie.

  In the cool midnight air, he shut off his car. He got out and slammed the door. He didn't have to be quiet. He didn't feel like being quiet. No one lived near enough to hear anything, see anything. He unlocked his trunk and took out the full gas can. He felt
in his pocket for the matches. This would get them all crazy again. Tomorrow was Halloween. He was just celebrating a day early. Besides, he'd had enough. I'm not taking their garbage anymore. They're going to be sorry.

  Chapter Eleven

  The look on Keely's face in the hellish light from the raging orange-gold flames had been dreadful to witness. Burke had stood beside her, helpless to stop either her pain or the flames. But now the firefighters had pumped enough water onto the blazing Family Closet to quench the inferno. Mud around charred remains and the lingering acrid smell of smoke and gasoline were all that was left.

  Rodd walked over to them. "It's out. As soon as the firefighters clear out, we'll cordon off the site. I'm going to leave two deputies here on guard. I don't want anyone tampering with possible evidence."

  Burke nodded, his anger over this latest tragedy still blazing inside him.

  "Ms. Turner," Rodd said, "I'm so sorry about this. I know how hard you've worked to make the Family Closet something good for this community. I won't stop till I find out who did this."

  Burke agreed with every word his friend uttered. And each one was a punch to his middle. God didn't seem to be helping Nick turn around.He asked himself grimly, If God isn't having any luck, how can I?

  "Burke, why don't you drive Ms. Turner home," Rodd suggested.

  "No, I ...my car ...," Keely mumbled. Her hair hung over her smoke-smudged face; her shoulders were bowed.

  "I'll have one of the deputies drive it home for you when his night shift ends at 7 a.m. You aren't in any shape to be driving anywhere by yourself. No argument. Take her home, Burke."

  Burke nodded again. "I'll come right back."

  "Your shift ended at eleven. Go home. You'll be more use to me if you're well rested. At daylight, I'll want you to go over everything with me, step by step, so we don't miss anything."

  "Okay." Burke was relieved. Rodd had only told him to do what he'd have insisted on himself. "I'll be back at seven." Burke took Keely's elbow and led her toward his Jeep. She looked stunned, destroyed. Her eyes held the look of disbelief. She was taking this personally. Of course, that would be her natural reaction.