Mated in Mist

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  She padded down the hallway toward the living room where she could hear voices. Walker had his hands over the large burns on Ryder’s side and stomach, his eyes closed and his mouth murmuring chants.

  She put her hand over her mouth to hold back a gasp. She’d been so drugged out she hadn’t seen the extent of Ryder’s injuries. And since Walker was Healing them already, what she saw wasn’t even the worst of it.

  Ryder looked up as she entered but didn’t say anything. Instead, he let his gaze trail down her body and back up again before settling on her eyes.

  “You still have cuts and burns,” he said finally, his voice a bit raspy.

  “I’m going to have to Heal your throat, too, brother. You have a bit of smoke inhalation.” Walker shook his head but went back to work.

  Leah had started toward the two of them before she thought better of it. She cupped Ryder’s face with her hands since it was one of the only places where he didn’t have cuts or burns.

  “Never do that again, Ryder Brentwood. Your family almost lost you because you literally jumped through fire.”

  “You were going to die if I didn’t,” he growled, then let out a cough.

  She pulled back before running her knuckles down his cheek. “You can’t die for me, Ryder. You can’t.”

  “I didn’t die. Walker will Heal me, and we’ll get you in the bath so you’re healed, as well. Everything will be fine.”

  It wouldn’t and she knew that. They were getting too close, letting emotions rule while they both knew they had to step back. They weren’t going to cement the bond, and every day she stayed with him, it would only make it that much harder to walk away. And yet she couldn’t leave. Not yet. She was torturing herself, but she couldn’t help it.

  “I’m going to be about twenty minutes more,” Walker said casually. “Leah, do you mind getting us each a glass of water? I know we could use something stronger, but water should do.”

  Grateful for Walker’s interruption, she gave him a nod then made her way back to the kitchen. She’d stopped shaking the moment she saw Ryder because then it wasn’t about her. It was about the man who’d risked his life for her. He’d saved her, and she didn’t know how to repay him. He and the Talons had saved her more than once now. She would be forever in their debt.

  Roland would know what to do.

  She stopped what she was doing and blinked. She hadn’t thought of her twin in a few days, though she knew he’d been in the back of her mind no matter what. It hurt to think that he wouldn’t be there to hear about what had happened. It hurt more that he wouldn’t be able to take a stand against not only Humans First but the Coven, as well. He had always been better with words than her.

  She’d told herself when she left his grave that she wouldn’t allow Roland’s death to rule her life. But it still ached that she didn’t have him anymore. And now, Ryder had almost died, as well. It didn’t matter how many times she told herself that they wouldn’t be good for each other and that they would never mate; she knew if she’d lost him, she would have broken, shattered into a million pieces.

  There was a reason the goddess had designed them to be optional mates, there would always be a connection because of it…until Ryder found another mate she supposed. But he’d told her he would never take a mate. However, no matter how hard she tried not to, she could only worry that maybe he’d meant that he would never take her as a mate. Maybe the next one would be the one that made him break his internal vow, the woman he’d want to bond with for eternity.

  She didn’t like thinking she wasn’t good enough, but she couldn’t help it.

  She hadn’t been good enough for the humans, hadn’t been good enough for the Coven. It was only fitting that she wasn’t good enough to mate the Heir of the Talon Pack.

  Leah might tell herself that she didn’t want to mate with him because of the target she would put on his back, but now that she’d seen how the Pack worked, she knew differently. He would always be a target. For as long as there was the potential for war, he would always be in danger. Hell, he’d almost died for her, and they hadn’t even mated.

  It would be good for everyone if she left and never came back.

  And yet, she knew she couldn’t do that.

  There had to be something wrong with her with the way she wanted him but he didn’t want her, but she’d deal with that. And since she’d given her word to help the Pack, she would do that. She’d take it seriously and learn to protect herself and others. She had to work past the fear that had put Roland and her at risk in the cave and find a way to make the changes for herself. It was all she could do.

  She was a witch; she had the power.

  She’d prove it.

  She carried all three glasses back without a tray and set them on the coffee table once she made it into the living room. She handed Ryder his and set a soft kiss on his lips. She’d needed to say her thanks and, frankly, needed to touch him. There was no going back from what had happened, no hiding from his family. Not with how he’d apparently reacted when he’d heard she was gone. Brandon had let a few things slip in the SUV, and Ryder hadn’t been pleased. Yet she didn’t care that Ryder hadn’t wanted her to know he cared about her. Hadn’t wanted her to know that he had been frantic with worry searching for her.

  The sheer fact that he’d jumped on the burning pile to save her from the stake told her that much. The rest was just reassurance.

  Instead of commenting on her rapid thoughts, she held out a glass to Walker. The Healer triplet took the glass and smiled. He nodded in thanks and chugged down the water quickly, sighing after he’d finished.

  “Would you like some more? I know it takes a lot of energy to Heal. How about some food?”

  Walker shook his head. “I’m almost done. I’ll head home and get some protein before crashing. No need to worry about me, Leah. I’ve been at this for a long while. I can take care of myself.”

  From the strain in his eyes, she wasn’t sure that was exactly the case. She couldn’t get a bead on the Healer. One minute he was the laid-back triplet with a nice drawl, the next, he barked orders and hid secrets within his gaze. He wasn’t the Brentwood she should be trying to figure out, however. That honor went to the other wolf in the room.

  “If you change your mind, let me know. I don’t want you passing out on the way to your house.” She picked up her glass and took a deep drink, missing the taste. She’d already had three glasses since being saved, and yet, she couldn’t get enough. Her magic was almost at full capacity—where she would do her best to keep it. She wouldn’t be caught unawares again. She wasn’t some helpless damsel, and she’d be damned if she acted like it once more.

  She watched in silence as Walker finished his work. She’d seen her own healing at work, of course, but seeing a true Healer help those in need was a thing of beauty. By the time Walker was through, she was ready for a long bath…and perhaps a bit more with Ryder. She knew she was an idiot to want him like she did, knowing there was no future for them, but not every intimate moment had to lead to mating and children. It could just lead to emotional healing.

  Again, if she kept telling herself that, it would be true. It had to be.

  When Walker left, she closed the door behind him and locked it. The keypad and hand scanner would allow him back in since Ryder had programmed his whole family with the right protocols, but they also had a mechanical lock in case the former became corrupted.

  “You need to take a bath,” Ryder said from behind her. She turned and let out a little sigh. She loved the way he looked without a shirt. She loved the way he looked period. Walker had Healed his wounds, but the new skin was still a tad pink. Plus, he still had dried blood on him that would need to be washed off.

  “Bathe with me?”

  His eyes glowed gold for a moment before he regained control of his wolf. “Let me shower while you start your soak. You already washed off the dirt and blood on your skin, but I haven’t.” He paused, and she held her breath. “T
hen I’ll join you.”

  He held out a hand, and she took it as they made their way to his large bathroom in silence. His thumb brushed along her skin, and she leaned in to him when they reached the glory that was his bathroom. Seriously, she could have easily—and happily—lived in his bathroom alone.

  “I can get the bath ready myself if you want to shower,” she said, as he bent down over the taps.

  He stood again and took her face in his hands. “Okay, little witch.” He let out a shuddered breath. “I almost lost you, Leah.”

  She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened them again. When she leaned toward him and pressed her lips to his, he shook.

  “Shower, Ryder. I’m okay. You’re okay. We’re alive. Remember that.”

  He kissed her a little harder then let her go. She had to take a few moments to compose herself so she didn’t break down in tears, or worse, strip off his jeans herself and make love to him hard against the wall.

  When she felt steady enough, she turned on the taps to as hot as they both could take it and added a few bath salts. While she normally liked her water pure and simple, both of them had been through a lot and a little bit of pampering couldn’t hurt. Plus, she liked the scent of the salts. So much better than burnt wood and smoke.

  The shower started behind her and she had to force herself not to turn around and look at Ryder through the clear glass door. She’d ogled him enough for the day. Leah quickly stripped out of her clothes, aware that Ryder was staring at her. She couldn’t help but feel his intense gaze on her. It was almost palpable. She wasn’t self-conscious about her body, especially with Ryder, so she slowly eased herself into the extra-large claw foot tub. The thing could easily fit three or four people, and it achieved the amazing feat of covering her knees and breasts at the same time. It was seriously her most favorite thing in the house.

  As soon as she let the water lap over her skin, she let her magic ease through her pores. Her small cuts and burns healed quickly, the bruising taking a bit longer as they were deeper. Soon, she was healed, and the water was at a decent level. She reached up to turn it off, but Ryder beat her. She hadn’t even heard the shower turn off since she’d been focusing on each bruise on her body.

  “Lean forward,” Ryder said. She did, bringing her knees to her chest so he would have space to maneuver around.

  He slid into the tub right behind her, his legs encasing her on each side. He wrapped an arm around her waist and brought her back to his front. His rock-hard erection pressed into the small of her back, and she had to bite her lip to stop from moaning. She let her head rest on his shoulder and sighed, finally finding some semblance of peace for the first time since she’d felt that pinprick at her neck.

  They lay there in silence, their breathing easing into soothing inhalations and exhalations in sync with one another. His hand gently ran up her stomach and to the space between her breasts before going back down again. It was an easy movement, one of comfort and familiarity. She had her fingers on his other arm, letting them dance softly along his skin so she could feel his touch, feel him.

  “I almost lost you, too,” she said finally, surprising herself. Ryder’s hand stopped moving, his fingers right under her breast.

  “Leah…”

  “I know we’re being careful, or at least trying, but I can’t lie to myself anymore. I almost lost you because you were trying to save my life. I’ll never be able to repay you for that…but I don’t know what I would have done if you’d died.” She was grateful he couldn’t see her face.

  “I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost you either,” he said after a moment of silence. “I just don’t know.”

  “What are we doing, Ryder? How can it hurt this much yet feel so…right?”

  He kissed the side of her neck, and she let out a sigh. When he buried his face there, she had to press her lips together before she said something monumentally stupid like she loved him or something.

  “I can’t form a bond with you, Leah. I…can’t.” His voice broke and he let out a growl. “You have no fucking idea how much I want to, damn it. I want you in my bed. In my life. I want you as my mate, but I can’t.”

  She froze, her body suddenly cold. He’d never said that before, even if he’d hinted at it. If only he’d have enough trust in her to tell her why he couldn’t. It broke her, even though she knew that she couldn’t have him either. What would happen to him if she created the bond? What would the Coven do to him then?

  “Maybe…maybe we could try without the bond?” She winced, prepared for his refusal. “We can do as we are…just without the bond.”

  He didn’t speak for so long she was afraid she’d said something wrong. Or maybe he was trying to find a way to let her down easily.

  Instead, he slid his hand down her stomach to cup her sex. She gasped and rocked into him.

  “We can try, Leah. We can damn well try. But if it hurts too much, if you need more, you need to let me know.”

  And he would let her go. He didn’t say it, but she knew that’s what he’d meant. They would have fun, have some sort of emotional tie and relationship, but they wouldn’t bond. She could do that and hope that one day he would tell her why he couldn’t bond with her. She deserved that much. But for now, she would take it.

  “Okay,” she whispered. Then he slid his fingers between her folds and rubbed her clit. She gasped, arching off his body. He wrapped his other arm around her and cupped her breast. His large, calloused fingers plucked at her nipple and she tilted her head toward him, needing his mouth.

  He obliged, sliding his tongue along her lips so she would open for him. She sank into the kiss, rolling her hips as he fucked her with his fingers and played with her breasts. He teased along her entrance before sliding two fingers in, then sped up before slowing down to tease her once more. She gasped, aching, needing more, but he didn’t stop his motions, didn’t let her go over the edge. His cock dug into her back and she rubbed against it, wanting him to come along with her. He groaned and rocked his hips, as well. Water sloshed over the sides of the tub, but she didn’t care. She just wanted him to take her to the top and let her fall in ecstasy. When he pinched her clit, she shook, her body bowing as she came hard against his hand. He didn’t stop and she almost came again. Then he removed his hand and pushed her forward slightly so he could get out of the tub.

  She felt cold at the loss of him but didn’t have time to dwell on it. He had her out of the tub and in his arms in a blink. She moved so she could wrap her legs around his waist and rock into his cock again.

  He groaned into her mouth and gripped her ass with his hands. When one finger played with her hole she stiffened, then leaned in to him as he slowly worked her, gentle and yet heated.

  “I’m going to fuck you there one day, little witch. Do you like the sound of that?”

  She nodded and kissed him again, loving the way he growled and wanted more of her. When he sat her down on the edge of the counter and leaned in front of her, she gasped.

  He spread her legs wide and licked his lips. “Keep your legs open. Can you do that? Can you keep your legs steady when I lick your pretty cunt?”

  She bit her lip and moaned. “I can try.”

  “I’d say there is no try, only do, but that might break the mood.” He slid his finger up and down her slit even as she gasped a laugh.

  “We need to watch that movie,” she said as he slid one finger into her, curling up so he rubbed along that bundle of nerves that made her eyes cross.

  “Later. First I need my feast.” Then he leaned forward and lapped at her, eating her until she could barely breathe. His beard brushed along her inner thighs and lower lips until she couldn’t formulate words. He fucked her with two fingers, then three, even as he kept his mouth on her, sending her quickly over the edge once more.

  Even as she called out his name and clenched around his fingers, he kept moving. He stood up, grabbed a condom from the drawer, and slid it over his len
gth. Ryder gripped her hips, and she held onto the edge of the counter so she could slide off.

  “Fuck me, Ryder.”

  “I can do that, little witch. I’ll fuck you until we’re both breathless and sated. Just make sure you fuck me just as hard.”

  “I can do that. Just get inside me. Now.”

  He grinned at her, tightened his hold on her hips, and thrust into her hard. In one stroke, he filled her so full she could barely breathe. She wrapped one leg around his waist and slid the other up his body so it rested over his shoulder. He held onto that ankle, kissing and licking her calf and behind her knee as he fucked her hard on the counter. She gripped the edge until her knuckles went white, rocking her hips ever so slightly and tightening her pussy so she squeezed his cock. He must have liked that because his eyes glowed brighter and he picked up the pace.

  When he lifted her other leg to his shoulder and gripped her ass, she let out a yelp, reaching for his shoulders to hold on. He held her weight with ease, lifting her and positioning her so he went deeper than he ever had before. Their gazes met and she held her breath, unable to think, to speak, to do anything but feel.

  He pulled her up and slammed her down on his cock, the sensation so fucking good she almost passed out right then, unable to even come because she knew if she did, she’d shatter. But he seemed to know where her mind had gone and slid home again, this time holding her down over him. She came then, knowing it was too much and not caring. He came as well, filling the condom, the sensation so warm and so him. She wanted him bare within her, wanted to feel him pump into her and fill her full. But she knew that wouldn’t happen.

  It would never happen. Because if it did, they’d create the bond. Instead, she would have to deal with a condom for however long they made this work.

  It would have to be enough, though. Because she wasn’t sure what she would do without him. And frankly, she was afraid of what he’d do without her. They’d have to live with the decisions they’d made and learn to deal with this new form of…whatever this was.