Ohh Yes, I'm Single: And so is my Girlfriend

by Datta, Durjoy

  ‘Not funny. But stick with her. You are great with her.’

  ‘I intend to go nowhere else,’ I said.

  We talked for a little while, drank a little more and drifted off to sleep. Anyway, time took its course and the day of his departure to France came and went.

  For a month at least thereafter, I would be sad because there was nobody to do guy stuff with, but then again, I had Manika to take care of me. So everything went back to being just fine; I learned to live without him. Though, to date, it’s never been more than two days that Sidharth and I haven’t talked, and that was good enough.

  From the moment Sidharth left, my relationship started getting serious with every passing minute, and I kept asking myself questions as to whether I should take the next step or not. To me, I had no doubt in my mind that I would see this relationship to its very end. I love you, what can possibly go wrong?, I always told her.

  ‘Joy?’ Manika said. ‘Do you think we can last?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You mean, in the long run, you and me?’ she asked again, as she laid her head on my shoulder.

  The question was meaningless for I was sure about her; for the last few months, she was all I needed and pined for. I was there when she left for office; I was there when she came back after office, when she woke up with her hair in tangles, when she went to sleep in the Winnie-the-Pooh imprinted pyjamas, on her good days, on her bad days—we were together 24/7! We were pretty much living together. I saw no reason why I wouldn’t be able to do the same for the next many lives, together.

  ‘I am sure about it, Manika. You are all I need, it’s like you are everything I wanted in a girl. I can’t be happier. I have seen how complete I am with you. I just don’t want to be without you now. I can’t be.’

  ‘That’s so sweet. But tell me, just hypothetically, if you wake up someday and I am not there, I am just not there, what would you feel like?’ she asked in all earnest, and my eyes welled up almost instantly, and I wanted to run away from the question and the possibility.

  It was not an option.

  ‘I will do anything just to get to you. Anything.’

  ‘What if I die?’ she asked and I saw tears sprouting in the corner of her eyes too.

  ‘I will follow you,’ I said, and she hugged me. I felt her tears wet my shirt. We were together. We were always meant to be. I had chosen her.

  For life.

  ‘Awww, that’s so sweet,’ I said and hugged him. He looked so sweet when he repeated the dialogues he had said. And really, I had never imagined him like this; I had always seen him as a heartless bastard. So, I told him, ‘It’s almost unbelievable that you can talk like that. It’s unreal. Which girl wouldn’t love it?’

  ‘Thank you, Neeti. But then, it really was effortless with her, it wasn’t as if I was trying to be sweet. I didn’t have to think before speaking back then. No pretences. No lies. I just poured out whatever I felt like and she liked it that way,’ he said, ever so cutely.

  Awww, I just wanted to cuddle him so bad. It was actually a shock for me to see him lovelorn, an absolute romantic.

  ‘So, what next?’ I said. ‘When did you two write the book? The first one?’

  ‘Hmmm, actually she wrote it. Almost all of it, and it was early in the fourth year of my engineering that she completed the book. So if you don’t like the book, you have to blame Manika and not me.’

  ‘When did it get released?’

  ‘After it got accepted, it took a few months to come out in the market. I read the manuscript on our first anniversary. I had read it in parts but she hadn’t let me read the whole thing,’ Joy said. ‘And that’s another story.’

  ‘Tell me,’ I said and Joy continued.

  The First Book

  Six months passed since Sidharth had left and another semester ended. Just a year left for my engineering and things couldn’t be better; I couldn’t have asked for anything else and everything was just perfect. My grades went up in my third year as Manika made sure I studied, and arguing with her was the last thing I ever wanted to do. As the fourth year started, so did the placement season. Since I had done so well in the last year, I fancied my chances in firms that I wouldn’t have had a chance at, a year earlier.

  ‘Are you nervous?’ she asked as she ruffled my hair.

  ‘What do you think?’ I countered. I was freaking out, I was nervous and sweating and I felt like I would faint; the suit and the tie I wore were suffocating me and I wanted to run away. I could hear my heart pound ferociously.

  ‘A little, maybe.’

  ‘I am so glad you’re with me today, I would have pissed in my pants out of nervousness. At least when I screw up the interview inside, I can come outside and feel lucky that I still have you,’ I said.

  ‘You’re just being sweet!’

  ‘I am not! Look around you, every guy is staring at you. They want you, and that’s because you are gorgeous, they don’t even know yet what a wonderful person you are. Every one of them should be nervous about the interview, but they are busy staring at you. You are what everyone wants. And I already have you! I think I have no reason to be nervous. I already have what I want the most,’ I said.

  ‘Joy, baby,’ she said. ‘Two things. One, sometimes, you make absolutely no sense.’

  ‘Second?’

  ‘That I am your girlfriend now. You really don’t have to flirt with me like ALL THE TIME. By the way, you look like a pretty boy in a suit. Very nice, very smooth,’ she said and I blushed.

  We laughed and she wished me luck again, and then we made plans to visit the bookstore and pick up a box set of our favourite author, John Green.

  ‘JOY!’ the guy from the company called out.

  ‘Hey. Interview time. Wish me luck,’ I said.

  ‘Best of luck,’ she said and straightened my tie. ‘Are you really going to leave me outside with all these guys in suits? Some of them are really handsome.’

  ‘That’s why I flirt, just to remind you that I am better than these nerds in suits. But, seriously, don’t look at them because some of them are indeed handsome.’

  ‘Enough. Now GO!’ she smiled and blew me a kiss.

  Everyone who saw that probably died of envy right there, twice. Yes, she is mine! My face screamed at them, as I strode inside the room for the interview with a big smile on my face.

  A job well begun is half done. And talking of the job, I got it. I had prepared my resume well, Manika had made me practise talking about thirty seconds on every line of my resume, and the kind interviewer didn’t ask me anything beyond my resume; I was confident and spot on. It was a good day. Being placed on the first day of placements, and a lot many people seeing that I was dating the girl of everyone’s dreams is stuff legends are made of; that’s how victory is spelled. I had reasons to celebrate. I was with Manika and that itself was a reason to celebrate every day.

  ‘So,’ she said, as we sat in the car. ‘Where do we go today?’

  ‘Can we just walk around the campus and show everyone that I am dating you. Because I think some people haven’t seen you, and they really need to see you.’

  ‘Someone has really been practising his lines,’ she said.

  ‘I stayed up all night to perfect these! And I also watch you sleep and stuff,’ I said.

  ‘Aw. So where do we go?’

  ‘Hmmm,’ I said. ‘Why don’t we do something different like going to your place, snuggling in with a book, and then maybe we can make out a little?’

  ‘C’mon, that’s what we always do!’

  ‘That was the joke, Manika,’ I said and we laughed out. ‘Hey, wait. Mom is calling, I haven’t told her about the interview yet. Shit.’

  It was Mom, Dad and Di (my elder sister, the favourite child), everyone all at once. I lived with them, but usually three out of seven days, I lived with Manika. Mom had been furious about this for a long time, but when my grades improved, she patted my back and said she had no problem whatsoever with my study n
ights at my friend’s place. She really believed that all those red marks on my neck were nothing but mosquito bites, or at least that’s what she made me believe. Dad and Di always knew there was something fishy about the frequent night-outs and the strange marks on my neck, but they never said anything.

  ‘What did she say?’ she asked as soon as I disconnected the line.

  ‘She wants me to come home. Celebrate with them.’ As soon as I said this, her face fell and before she thought I could see that, she put a fake smile on.

  ‘You should go, you should celebrate with them,’ she said. ‘I will drop you home. Probably we will celebrate it tomorrow? Fine?’

  ‘No. Not fine. We will celebrate it today.’

  ‘But Joy—’

  ‘Never mind. Come with me, we will find a way out,’ I said.

  ‘What? Where?’

  ‘Home. Where else?’

  ‘Oh no, no, no. I am not coming. I am not even dressed properly,’ she said.

  ‘C’mon, you always look great! Just come!’ I begged. ‘They will love you!’

  ‘And what are you going to introduce me as?’

  ‘I will tell them the truth that we are married and you’re expecting my child. In fact, twins, a boy and a girl,’ I said with a straight face.

  ‘What!’

  ‘As a friend, Manika, what else?’ I said.

  ‘C’mon, they are your parents. They will know I am not just a friend. You will just be inviting trouble,’ she said.

  She was probably right. I was inviting trouble. If not anyone else, my mom would have certainly freaked out; in the past twenty-odd years I have never got a girlfriend home; she would have smelled trouble. It was already getting dark and taking a girl home this late was really the last thing I ought to do.

  ‘Okay then. I will go,’ I said. ‘But I will come back. I will sit with them for a little while and then come back again. It will not take more than twenty minutes, I promise.’

  ‘But—’ she began to protest.

  ‘Nothing doing. I want to be with you tonight and we will do something crazy! And I will see to it that it happens.’

  We didn’t discuss anything further. On our way, I thought about a million pretexts that would work out for why I wanted to leave the house so late at night even though I was already placed. Another study session? In between placement week? It was a little too much to digest. Mom would see through it. After my periodic absences for the last several months, I couldn’t have told them that I was going out with my friends again.

  What really troubled me was that this very day, one year back, Manika and I had first met at that party at the farmhouse. I really wanted to be with her. For me, the day we first met should have been our anniversary, though she thought differently because it wasn’t until several months later that I asked her out, and we started dating properly, like a couple. I never bought that argument; I loved that night, the serendipity, and the mystery of the nameless girl with a cigarette dangling from her lips.

  I had saved for the last three months and got her a watch engraved with her name and I really wanted to give it to her that day. I wanted to write something for her, but had got busy with the placements and couldn’t. I really hoped she would like it.

  ‘Hi! Congratulations!’ Di said as soon as I entered the house.

  Mom and Dad followed suit, hugged me and said they were proud of me. It was especially shocking for them, since they been to my college a couple of times to solve my attendance issues with my professors. So they never really had very high hopes from me. But now that I had proven them wrong, I felt happy about it. Not as much for myself as for them..

  I am a guy and act like guys do. I don’t tell my parents how my days go, I don’t ask about theirs, I don’t call them like my sister does, I forget their birthdays and Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, and my longest conversation with them is about money or food. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care, or I don’t love them, I equally want to make them happy. I do it by talking about cricket and scoring well in my exams.

  I was happy that day to see the glint in their eyes when I told them about the job. I had done them proud, and I hoped it made up for all the times they had just wanted to sit and talk to me but I watched television instead. Somehow, I find it hard to tell my parents that I love them; I think that’s my weakness, or our weakness, and usually we need a foreign internship or a nice job to express it.

  Anyway, my mind was still stuck on Manika, who was waiting in the car.

  ‘So, where are they going to place you?’ Mom asked.

  ‘I don’t know that yet,’ I said. ‘I still haven’t gone through the offer letter.’

  ‘Please tell them that you won’t go out of Delhi. You anyway don’t eat anything. God knows what will happen if they send you somewhere else!’ Mom said.

  We all laughed at this.

  After a few more questions from Dad about the job profile and the company, Mom motioned us towards the dining table; the chicken smelled delicious. Even though it was very tempting, I was in no mood to eat.

  ‘Di,’ I whispered.

  ‘What?’ she said. ‘And why are you whispering?’

  ‘Manika is waiting. I need an excuse to run. What do I say?’ I asked her. ‘It’s our anniversary, I just HAVE to go.’

  ‘What? Mom will not let you go! It’s already too late.’

  ‘Do something. She is waiting in the car,’ I begged.

  ‘Fine,’ she said.

  I thought she would concoct a serious sounding story and narrate it to Mom, but instead she went up to Dad and told him everything. As I stood there, nervously watching and waiting for Mom to serve dinner, a smile broke out on Dad’s face.

  As we sat down to eat, Dad looked at me and said, ‘Joy, Sumit called. He said your phone was not reachable? Some symposium or presentation you had to make together?’

  ‘Symposium?’ I asked, puzzled. And it was only when Di shot across a how-dumb-you-are look, did I realize what was going on.

  ‘The symposium!’ Dad said. ‘He said something about IIT Delhi and some competition. I don’t really remember!’

  ‘What?’ Mom asked as soon as she heard IIT; she had always dreamt of me going to IIT. She used to get very excited at the very mention of the name of the institute.

  ‘Oh, Mom. It’s a symposium that we had to attend. A paper presentation competition. We were in the final three and the competition is tomorrow. But we haven’t prepared really, so there’s no point going there now,’ I said, as Di and Dad silently chuckled.

  ‘Why? Why not? You should go.’ Mom said. ‘You have the whole night to prepare.’

  ‘But …’

  ‘Look, we can celebrate tomorrow. You eat now, and you can go over to his place and finish the presentation? Just because you’re placed doesn’t mean you will stop studying,’ Mom looked at Di and Dad, and they nodded furiously, trying not to smile. I ate like a madman and rushed like one downstairs. I heard Mom praise me for what a hardworking kid I was.

  Manika was still waiting in the car, her seat pushed back, music blaring out of her car’s speakers, and she was reading a book we bought on our way back from college to my place. She sat up and smiled as soon as she saw me.

  ‘Twenty minutes, exact!’ she said. ‘Not bad! What did you tell them?’

  ‘Nothing. Oh yes, Mom packed this for you … or for Sumit, whosoever’s house I am going tonight. I have to prepare for the symposium tomorrow at IIT Delhi.’

  ‘Oh, so I am Sumit today,’ she smiled.

  ‘I must say Sumit suffers from a real bad case of male boobs.’

  ‘Very funny,’ she said. ‘And you have eaten?’

  ‘Yes. I have. Do you think she would have let me leave without eating? Bengali moms are crazy about kids not eating, but I can eat a little more. I think there is plenty for us in here.’

  ‘Okay then, let’s drop everything else and do something different as you said. Let’s hang out at my place,’ she said and
laughed. ‘Anyway, it’s been a tiring day, hasn’t it?’

  ‘Yep,’ I said as I clutched my bag. The watch was still there. I thought it was beautiful and corny and lovely. I hoped she would like it too. She drove and we talked about the possibility of where my job might take me, and she assured me she would find a job wherever I was posted. I was starting to feel a little bad that she didn’t remember our anniversary, the day we first met.

  ‘So, here we are,’ she said, as she flopped on the couch. ‘Come to me, my corporate hot shot!’

  It really was a tiring day. The written exams, the four rounds of interviews, it really was a long day and it had taken a lot out of us. We had been at the college since the morning and I had spent eight hours bound in that horrible suit.

  I didn’t know when to give the watch to her, but then I thought I should get it out of the way soon.

  ‘What time is it?’ I asked.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘You know I don’t wear a watch.’

  ‘Seems like it’s time to start wearing one,’ I said and dangled the watch in front of her, almost like a dead rat, very unromantically.

  ‘Oh, it’s for me?’ she said and hugged me as I sat next to her. ‘Awww, this is beautiful! This is so beautiful. Thank you!’

  ‘Turn it around.’

  She did and read the inscription aloud, ‘To Manika, Joy. To our timeless, limitless love.’

  ‘This is so sweet! This is so sweet! A little creepy, but very sweet!’ she said as she ran her finger over the inscription and then kissed me. ‘Happy Anniversary, baby Joy.’

  ‘What?’ I said. ‘You remember?’

  ‘Yes, I do. Obviously I do, dumbass. I am a girl. Even if I try, I can’t forget these things!’ she said.

  ‘So you remembered and still didn’t get me anything? How mean!’ I said, playfully. ‘And you’re the older one!’

  ‘You selfish bastard.’

  ‘I am just kidding,’ I said, as I pulled her towards me. ‘You are my gift! All wrapped around. Let me unwrap you! What say?’

  She broke out of my embrace and said, ‘That’s for later, you desperate boy. For now, let me get you the real gift. Yes, I did get you something,’ she said and went inside and returned with two gift-wrapped boxes.