The Wedding Bargain

by Yvonne Lindsay

  She stepped away from him and reached for the oven door.

  “Let me. You go sit down.”

  “I’m not helpless, you know,” she muttered in frustration.

  “I know. Tell you what. You can wait on me for the whole rest of the trip. How’s that?”

  She laughed, her irritation dissolving just as quickly as it had arisen, which was what he’d obviously intended all along. “Fine, I’ll do that. But you might be sorry.”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s right. You don’t cook. Well, let’s see about teaching you, hmm?”

  He put their plates on the table and sat down with her.

  “This is good,” he said, after tasting the toast. “There’s something different about it.”

  “Could be the vanilla essence,” she said, accepting his compliment with a buzz of satisfaction.

  “Interesting addition.”

  “It’s something my mum does. I learned it from her.”

  “But not anything else?” he questioned.

  “No, not anything else. What about you? Do you cook?”

  “Mum made me learn before I went to uni. It was pretty useful when it came to impressing the girls, so I expanded my repertoire pretty quickly.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I would have expected that of you.”

  He shot her a cheeky smile and applied himself to the rest of his breakfast. When they’d finished, he suggested that he get the boat back en route upriver and leave her to guide it while he tidied up.

  For the next few hours they lazily cruised along the Murray, taking turns at the helm and admiring the riverbanks as they went along. It was incredibly peaceful, with the exception of the occasional speedboat that went whizzing past, often with a wetsuit-clad wakeboarder hanging off a rope on the back even on a cold day like today.

  It was past midday when they reached a small town. The rain had stopped a couple hours earlier and Shanal had been sitting out on the front deck, admiring the ocher-colored cliffs that rose from the river.

  “What do you say about a walk?” Raif called to her through the open cabin door.

  Shanal started to say yes, but then a memory from the bad dream she’d had last night tickled the back of her mind. She could still recall the all-encompassing fear she’d felt in the dream when Burton had forced her to remain at the altar. She knew it was ridiculous, that her ex-fiancé couldn’t possibly have tracked her down yet—and even if he did, he was hardly the violent type—but nevertheless she shook her head. “I’m happy to stay on the boat. But you go on if you want to.”

  “He’s not going to find you here, Shanal. And even if he does, you don’t have to go with him.”

  She closed her eyes and counted slowly to ten. How was it that Raif could read her so easily?

  “Okay, I’d like to take a walk with you.”

  They moored near a ferry landing and then followed the road up the hill and around a sharp bend. It was good to get out of the boat and really stretch her legs, she found, and she enjoyed the view once they made it to the lookout. From there they had a great panorama of the river. Beneath them the ferry plied back and forth, and other houseboats were moored near the terminal on the other side.

  “Our boat looks tiny from up here, doesn’t it?” she commented.

  “It does. I always think a view like this helps remind me to keep things in perspective. When we’re on the boat, that’s pretty much all we see—aside from the river around us, obviously. Sometimes you just need a bit of distance to rebalance your perceptions. There’s so much else that’s out there. It makes what we are, what we’re going through, seem insignificant sometimes.”

  “I guess,” she agreed, but held the safety railing in front of her in a viselike grip. She wished her problems could fade away into insignificance with just a little distance, but she’d have to return to face them sooner or later. “So, where are we heading from here?”

  Raif pointed upriver. “I thought we could keep motoring up toward Swan Reach. Or maybe stop near Big Bend for the night and get to Swan Reach in the morning.”

  She nodded in agreement and they started the walk back to the boat. As they strolled together, Shanal mulled his words over in her mind. Perspective. That’s what he was giving her here by taking her away like this. Time to make her problems seem less insurmountable than they’d begun to be. A tightness invaded her chest as she thought of what might lay ahead. So far, for her at least, the concept of perspective wasn’t working all that well. Right now, avoidance was her preference.

  She staggered a little as Raif gave her a playful shove.

  “You’re thinking too hard—I can see smoke pouring from your ears. Come on, I’ll race you back to the boat. Last one there makes lunch!”

  Her mind latched onto the challenge. With his long legs and strength she had no doubt that he’d beat her, so she took advantage of the fact he was still talking, and started to run.

  “You’re on!” she shouted over one shoulder.

  Rapid heavy footsteps gained steadily from behind, making her squeal.

  “I never took you for a cheat,” Raif goaded her, from far too close.

  “You have to take the advantage where you can!” she laughed, and pushed herself just that little bit harder.

  She was out of condition. With helping at home and all the palaver in the lead up to the wedding, combined with her heavy workload, she’d struggled to find time to even do so much as go for a walk each day. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d spent any time at the gym. A stitch began to develop in her side but she was nothing if not determined. She would win this race.

  Shanal had one foot on the gangplank to the boat, then another, and was about to turn and relish her success when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her and lifted her clean off her feet. She squealed again, this time in surprise, as Raif spun her a full 180 degrees.

  “I win!” he crowed as he set foot on the deck and slowly lowered her down, laughing in the face of her frustration.

  “And you say I cheated?” Shanal said through gasps of air, turning to him in disgust.

  “Hey, you forget. I’ve seen how you can run,” he teased, obviously alluding to her bolt from the church yesterday. “I had to use every advantage I had. Besides, I like to win.”

  “That’s not fair,” she protested. Was it only a day ago? It felt like forever. Or did she just wish it was?

  “All’s fair in love and war.” He smiled back cheekily.

  “You may live to regret that statement,” she warned. “Remember, I can’t cook.”

  Raif shrugged. “I also like to live dangerously, don’t you?”

  She looked at him and felt a tug that pulled from her core. It had nothing to do with her labored breathing and everything to do with the fact that he still had her in the circle of his arms. Her heart was already pumping hard, her senses heightened, and all she could think of was how snugly she fit against him, how close his lips were to hers. How, if she just flexed her hips a little, she’d be nestled in the cradle of his pelvis.

  But did she dare?

  She did.

  Shanal lifted her hands to his head and tugged it down toward her. “I haven’t had much cause to live dangerously so far, but I’m willing to give it a try.”

  And then she kissed him.

  Six

  She felt the shock roll through his body as her lips touched his. He was unresponsive for a second, then two. She began to wonder if she’d been foolish to do this, to act on the impulse that had overridden her usually careful and considered way of approaching things.

  But then his lips began to move over hers, and his arms tightened, pulling her even closer against his body, against his solid strength. Her fingers furrowed through his short dark hair, holding him in place. Not wanting to let hi
m go for a second, because if she did, she’d have to face the questions that would no doubt be in his eyes. Questions she didn’t know the answer to herself.

  All she knew was that she suddenly realized just how deeply she longed for this. For this man, for his kiss. She slid her tongue softly along his lower lip, felt the shudder that racked his body, felt him harden against her.

  This was how it was meant to be between a man and a woman. Need, desire, want. Not a cold clinical agreement. Not the feeling of being a possession, to be shaped and molded to someone else’s taste. Just the need to possess and be possessed in return. She moaned as Raif’s tongue touched hers, as a flame of heat speared through her body. She pressed against him, aching for him to fill that emptiness that echoed inside her. Desperate for him to ease the pounding demand that throbbed through her veins.

  His hands slid under the sweater she was wearing—his sweater—and the heat of his touch burned through the thin T-shirt that acted as a barrier between his skin and hers. She wanted more. She wanted Raif. Her fingers clenched in his hair and she kissed him more fiercely, her tongue now dueling with his. Advance, retreat, advance again. The taste of him was intoxicating, another sensation to fill her mind and overwhelm her senses.

  She felt her nipples tighten into aching buds, and she pressed against him, the movement sending tiny shafts of pleasure to rocket through her body. She’d never felt anything quite like this before. This level of total abandonment, this depth of need.

  The sound of the ferry horn echoed across the water—a stark and sudden reminder of where they were, of what they were doing. Shanal let her hands drop to Raif’s shoulders as she pulled back. Her entire body thrummed with energy and anticipation, but as she came back to awareness of her surroundings once more, the strength leached from her body, leaving her feeling empty, limp.

  “I—” she started.

  Raif pressed a short and all-too-sweet kiss to her lips. “Don’t say a word. It’s okay. To the winner, the spoils, right?”

  He bent and lifted the gangplank, stowing it away before he released the ropes that secured the boat to the pier, then he went inside, shrugging off his jacket as he went.

  How could he be so nonchalant? As if what they’d just done had meant nothing to him at all? Shanal spun around and gripped the rail that surrounded the deck, desperate to ground herself on something, anything that had substance. Anything that wasn’t the emptiness that roared to fill the giant hollow cavern swelling deep inside.

  Unexpected tears burned in her eyes and she blinked them back fiercely. What on earth had come over her? She was a rational woman. Not one prone to obeying instinct. Not one who literally flung herself at a man and kissed him until every logical part of her brain was burned into an oblivion of physical awareness.

  He’d talked about perspective when they were up on the bluff. She’d never needed it more than she did right now. This was the time for rational thought—for her usual careful deliberation. And yet her body continued to make its demands felt, insisting that she do what felt right without a thought to the consequences. She fought for the equanimity that was her signature in every single thing she did, until every beat of her heart, every breath she took, returned her to a state of lucidity once more. Then and only then would she be ready to face the man inside. At least she hoped she would.

  * * *

  Raif went through the motions, sending the boat back upriver, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the woman in front of him. A sheet of glass was all that separated, but it may as well have been a five-foot-thick wall of lead for all the good it did him. Shanal had taken him by surprise, kissing him like that. He should have been a gentleman, should have stepped back right away. Should even have let her win their stupid race instead of grabbing her into his arms as he had. But then he’d always lived life on the wild side—always relished provocation, stimulation. And boy, was he ever stimulated right now.

  The fact that he hadn’t simply dragged her through to the nearest bedroom and acted on the incredible conflagration that had ignited between them was a testament to his upbringing. His mother would have been proud. Well, except for the kiss, maybe. That, she probably wouldn’t have approved of, especially not when the situation between Shanal and Burton was still so murky. Sure, Shanal had removed her ring and run away from their wedding, but Raif had the sense that somehow she was still intrinsically linked to the other man. Whatever was between her and Burton, it wasn’t over yet. And Raif didn’t like it. Not one bit.

  He studied Shanal as she stood on the front deck, staring into the water as if she could somehow find the answer to the meaning of life out there. He wished it was that simple. He’d done his fair share of empty gazing, but all it had taught him was that most often the answers you sought lay within a person, not outside. And sometimes those answers weren’t exactly what you wanted to see, either.

  “Hey,” he called through the door. “You still owe me lunch, remember.”

  Maybe if he could goad her, as he always had in the past, she’d fire back to life again. He counted several beats before he saw her relinquish the stranglehold she had on the railing and straighten her shoulders once more. She came inside the main cabin, wearing that same fragile, shell-shocked look she’d had yesterday when he’d rescued her in the park. It hit him hard in the gut. He’d put that look on her face by letting their kiss become more than it should have.

  “Think you’re up to making a sandwich and a pot of coffee?” he prodded.

  A faint flare of color brushed her cheeks and a tiny spark of life came back into her pale green eyes.

  “I believe I can do that without giving either of us food poisoning,” she answered, with her cute little nose up in the air and a haughty expression on her face.

  He couldn’t help it; he had to smile. It only served to make a frown pull between those perfectly arched brows of hers.

  “Life’s not a joke, you know,” she said in her Miss Prim voice that he already knew so very well.

  “No one said it had to be all hard work, either.”

  He transferred his attention back to the river, but even so he could feel her staring at him. Eventually she gave a small sniff and a few seconds later he heard her rummaging around in the kitchen. Not long after that, a small hand carrying a plate bearing a sandwich appeared in his peripheral vision.

  “Thanks,” he said, taking it from her. He let his eyes drift over her face, checking to see if the strain of earlier had gone. A sense of relief filled him as she looked back at him steadily. “You okay now?”

  She nodded and shifted her attention outside. “I’m not in the habit of kissing just anyone.”

  “I know,” he confirmed.

  He was childishly tempted to ask how the kiss they’d shared compared to Burton’s, but then pushed the thought from his mind. He didn’t want to think of Burton anywhere near Shanal. Not now, not ever.

  “It won’t happen again,” she continued.

  “If you say so,” he conceded.

  “I mean it, Raif. It can’t happen again.”

  There was a thread of panic in Shanal’s voice that gave him pause. What had her so scared?

  “Shanal, you’re safe with me. I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, I promise. But remember, we only get to live this life once. I don’t know about you, but I already have enough regrets on my conscience. I don’t plan to live the rest of my days with any more.”

  He had a gutful of regret when it came to Laurel. He’d told her he had concerns about her still being too much of a novice to tackle that waterfall trip. Telling her had been part of what had led to the argument that had eventually seen them break up. He’d never have believed that it would ultimately lead to her death. Regret left a bitter echo in his heart. He didn’t want to add to that with Shanal.

  Outside, it started to driz
zle, then rain more heavily, making visibility on the river difficult. Since they weren’t on any timetable but their own, Raif decided to moor the boat along the bank, getting muddy and soaked to the skin as he jumped ashore to tie off the lines. He was chilled right down to his bones by the time he came back on board.

  “Why don’t you look through the DVDs on the shelf under the TV and see if you can find us something to watch this afternoon,” he suggested. “I’m going to grab a quick shower and a change of clothes.”

  By the time he came back to the main cabin, dressed in an old comfy pair of track pants and a sweatshirt Shanal had handed him from the bag of clothes he’d originally packed for her, she had a couple DVDs on the coffee table. He picked one up.

  “You like sci-fi?” he asked.

  She nodded.

  “Huh, I would have picked you for something else.”

  “Like what?” Shanal sounded irritated. “Chick flicks?”

  He gestured to the Jane Austen boxed set on one side of the shelf. “More that kind of thing.”

  She shrugged. “I like that, too, but I like this better.” She suddenly looked insecure. “Don’t you like sci-fi? We can choose something else if you’d rather.”

  “No, it’s okay. I’m a huge Sigourney fan.”

  “Really? I prefer the alien myself. Such a misunderstood bio-form.”

  He laughed, plucked the DVD case from her hand and selected the first disc of the set to put in the player. To Raif’s surprise, he discovered that not only did Shanal love sci-fi movies, but she also had a very bloodthirsty streak. By the time they were onto their second movie in the trilogy he found himself adjusting a few of his preconceptions about her. Sure, she was incredibly intelligent, but she had a fun side that he’d never seen before. As the alien creature took out a few more good men, she laughed and cheered, all tension from earlier now gone.

  He found he really liked her laughter. It wasn’t something he’d heard a lot of from her, but when it came it was a joyful gurgling sound that made him laugh right along with her. He found himself ridiculously desperate to hear her laugh some more. And when the movie got really tense and it looked as if all hope was lost for the hero, her dainty hand crept into Raif’s for comfort. Squeezing tighter and tighter as the tension rose.