You Don't Know Jack Schmidt (Schmidt Load #1)

by Susan Renee

  “Definitely not a professional suit. That’s not me at all. I want to be comfortable, but I don’t want to stand out. I want my fashions to shine. So, maybe something black with a pop of color in my accessories?” Jenna says as we step into Macy’s and begin to look around.

  “Okay…pants? Dress? Leggings? What do you think?” I ask her as I pull off a few items from a rack in front of me. She turns to look at what I’m holding – a black chiffon tunic dress with beading along the halter-style top, a red mini-skirt, and a white blouse – and tilts her head, thinking.

  “I think I love that dress. I want to try it on. Do you think a dress is okay, or should I be thinking pants?” she wonders.

  “Don’t know.” I shrug at her. “I’ve never done this before either, but I imagine you want to look sexy as hell. I mean, yeah the night is about your fashions, but in the end, people will want to meet you and you’re going to want to look amazing.”

  “Yeah…” Her words fade, as does her confident expression. The one thing I know about my best friend, is that the more she thinks about something, the more anxious she gets. Too much over-thinking is never a good thing.

  “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to pull three outfits for you and you’re going to try them on. We’ll go from there and see what you like. You need to look good, but more importantly, you need to feel good.”

  “Okay. Do you think I should call Jacoby and get his opinion?”

  “Fuck no! I’ll give him his props when it comes to writing a steamy sex scene, but women’s fashion? Girl, he tried to give you a t-shirt that said, ‘Jacked Up’ on the front. He won’t have a clue, and he’ll say yes to everything you put on. Trust me.” Seriously, this girl. I roll my eyes at her crazy talk which makes her laugh.

  “Okay, okay. You’re right.” She spreads her arms out, motioning to all the clothing racks surrounding us. “Have at it, my friend. Go crazy…but not too crazy…and leave that black dress. I want to try that one.”

  “Yesss!” Throwing a triumphant arm in the air, I excitedly turn away and begin to shop for my best friend. There’s nothing in this world I love more than shopping…except maybe Jenna.

  “So, Jacoby’s coming to the fashion show, right?” I ask Jenna as we sit at the Harp and Hound enjoying some lunch.

  “Yeah, he is, actually!” she responds. “He told me he would be there if I wanted him there, and of course I want him there. He’s my rock.” She looks up to see me raise an eyebrow at her. “I mean, other than you, of course.”

  “Of course.” I wink at her. “So, things with Jacoby are…” I wait for her to finish the sentence.

  “Blissfully fantastic.” She smiles.

  “Good.” I smile back. “I’m super happy for you. He seems good for you, and you for him from what I’ve seen so far.”

  “Yeah, he really is. He’s that voice of reason when I’m having a shitty day, and he’s really good at just letting me vent and cry out my stress.”

  “And the grade-A hole punch ain’t bad either, right?” I smirk.

  “I mean, I’m not complaining,” She laughs. “But he’s more than just a huge dick. Wait…that sounds like I’m calling him a dick. But he’s more than a dick…ugh. You know what I mean.” She waves her hand away, giggling. “What about you? You haven’t talked about anyone lately?” She takes a bite from her fish and chips platter. “And come to think of it, unless there’s something you’re not telling me, you haven’t been out much lately either.”

  I haven’t told her about Jack yet. I have no idea what this thing with Jack is other than someone I talk to online almost every day…for a few hours at least. But that could be nothing.

  “Yeah, no. I haven’t really been out much. You’re right. I guess I just haven’t been feeling it.” I sigh dramatically. “Maybe it’s time to settle down and try to find just one guy instead of like ten…I don’t know. Maybe that’s just not me though.”

  “What’s not you?” Jenna asks. “Finding a guy who makes you feel good? A guy who makes you happy? A guy you could live with for the rest of your life?”

  Like Jack.

  “Yeah.” I shrug, picking at my food. “I mean, maybe I’m just not meant for that kind of life. I’ve always been the party girl. The one-night-stand type. Maybe long-term shit just isn’t me.”

  “I call bullshit,” Jenna states. “I think the right guy is out there for you. You just have to be patient and be open to finding him. You know, Jacoby has a friend. He’s really nice. Maybe I should see if we could double date.”

  “No way.” I shake my head adamantly. “Thank you very much, but I think I can handle this on my own. I don’t need to be dating Jacoby’s friends. That’s just hella-weird. I mean, what if things don’t work out? Then it could be weird for you. I wouldn’t want that.”

  Jenna shrugs. “Yeah, I guess. Maybe he’s spoken for anyway. I don’t think I’ve ever asked Jacoby. I just assumed he was single.”

  “So.” I wipe my mouth one last time and swallow the last of my lemon water. I pull out enough cash from my purse to pay for lunch. “Are you ready to find the perfect knee-high boots to go with your new black dress?”

  “Ready when you are, my friend, but keep your money.” She beams, grabbing her purse and pulling out a wad of cash. “Jacoby insisted that lunch be on him.” She winks.

  “Gag me.” I roll my eyes, laughing at the sweetness that is Jenna and Jacoby, but as we walk out to the car I wonder to myself if something will ever come of my online relationship with Jack, and how on earth I will know when it’s time to go further? Maybe I should say something to him tonight? How in the hell do I start a conversation like that?

  NoRagrets: So, I Googled ‘serious questions for online dating’ and got something like ninety-seven different questions. First of all, how can there be that many serious questions, and who decides the order of seriousness?

  There. That should break the ice for the night, right? It lets him know that I’m interested in asking serious questions. Ugh. Who knows. Maybe I’m shit at this.

  * * *

  Jax: You mean questions like “What’s your typical Sunday morning look like?” or “How are you with PDA?” That sort of thing? ‘Cause those are some make-it or break-it kind of questions, you know.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: Hahaha yeah, I guess. And since you asked, I should probably let you know that my typical Sunday mornings are spent laying around until I have to go to work. Our General Manager takes Sundays off to spend time with family and work her other job so it’s usually me working on a Sunday.

  * * *

  Jax: No judgement there. My Sundays are usually spent with family too. Or hanging out at home.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: Hmm PDA…it’s never scared me away before.

  * * *

  Jax: Me either, but I draw the line at sex on a park bench in the middle of the day. #splinters

  * * *

  NoRagrets: Lol! Damn, that was on my bucket list too.

  * * *

  Jax: Well, in that case… maybe I should reconsider.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: I think since you’re a lawyer, maybe we shouldn’t think about that. I’m certain there are laws against such things.

  * * *

  Jax: Right. Yeah. Fucking laws. hahahahaha Pun totally unintended!

  * * *

  NoRagrets: hahahahahaha!

  I couldn’t be more grateful that Jack has a sense of humor and seems to put my overactive mind at ease without even knowing it. He doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously, which I like because I don’t think I’ve ever taken myself seriously.

  NoRagrets: Can I ask you a personal question?

  My pulse quickens when I hit “send” and my question appears on the page.

  Jax: Sure.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: Have you ever been in love, I mean like, an actual serious relationship?

  The question tugs at my heart, spreading
an overwhelming feeling of anxiety through me. What if he says yes? What if he’s just coming off a long-term relationship? How can a guy as nice as he seems to be even be single in the first place? Or…what if he says no? What if he’s not the least bit interested in finding something long-term?

  Jax: Well I’m not sure one equals the other or vice-versa, but to answer your question, No. I mean, I thought I was in love once, after college, but as I grew up and things changed, I realized it was really just a short-lived infatuation. It didn’t last more than six months. I’ve been single for the past three years.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: I’m sorry.

  * * *

  Jax: There’s nothing to be sorry for. I just grew up and realized she wasn’t the one for me.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: So how is it that a guy like you has been single for so long now? Did you swear off the vagina forever or have you just not been looking for anything long-term?

  * * *

  Jax: hahaha no. I did not swear off the vagina. I guess after my last relationship ended, I just decided to focus on my career and that’s where I’ve been ever since.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: And now?

  * * *

  Jax: And now… I’m looking for a vagina.

  * * *

  Jax: Wait… that sounded totally wrong and not what I meant at all.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: LOL! That’s ok. I understood completely. I love how much you make me laugh. Even if you don’t mean to.

  * * *

  Jax: Phew! I’m glad you have a sense of humor enough to know I’m not a gross douchebag who thinks about vaginas all day.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: I’ll reserve judgement for another day.

  * * *

  Jax: Thanks, I think… So, what about you? Have you ever been in love?

  His question comes up and the pit in my stomach grows. I knew it had to be coming. It’s only fair that I answer the same questions I so bravely throw at him, but how do I tell a guy - that I’m more than a little interested in - that until now, I’ve just slept around on a whim not caring at all who the penis was attached to?

  NoRagrets: Umm, no. I guess I haven’t. If I’m being honest with you, I have always been the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, non-committal type. Until recently.

  * * *

  Jax: Until recently? Did something change?

  * * *

  NoRagrets: I met you. (ps. I know, that sounds stupidly corny)

  * * *

  Jax: Linda? Can I be honest too?

  * * *

  NoRagrets: Of course. Put me out of my misery. My face is all flushed over here.

  * * *

  Jax: If it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t interested in looking for a vagina until I met you. (ps. That was a joke. I don’t care about your vagina as much as I seem to care about you.)

  “What?” I scream, sitting in front of my laptop. “Did he just say? He said…Oh, my God…he cares about me? What the hell do I say to that?” This is one of those times when I wish I would’ve just come clean to Jenna and told her about my lecherous online affair with a man named Jack. Okay, maybe not lustrous, but oh, my gosh he cares about me? I need her to tell me what to say. I need her to tell me how to not fuck this whole thing up. That’s what besties do, except…I’ve been keeping this whole thing a secret assuming I would’ve fucked it up a long time ago. I didn’t want her to have to say, “I told you so.”

  “Buck up, Linda. You can do this.” I encourage myself, staring at the screen forever, trying to come up with the right words to say.

  Jax: Uh…did I scare you away?

  * * *

  NoRagrets: NO! Sorry, no. I just…umm, I don’t really know what to say. I’m trying to come up with something perfect to say only I’m not good at it.

  * * *

  Jax: You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. We can just sit here in silence.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: Well, that would be awkward. Can I be honest one more time?

  * * *

  Jax: Always.

  * * *

  NoRagrets: I was sitting here trying to remember the last time a guy told me that he cared about me. I honestly can’t think of even one time.

  * * *

  Jax: That’s bullshit. I think about you every day. I wonder what you’re up to, or I hear something that reminds me of one of our conversations. I look forward to chatting with you every night because I care about you.

  “Here goes nothing,” I mumble as my fingers glide across the keyboard.

  NoRagrets: I care about you too.

  * * *

  Jax: I think we should meet.

  Chapter Nine

  Jack - 2013

  I’m a twenty-four-year-old virgin. I don’t really have shame in that, because I respect my life and my parents and my future career too much to mess that all up just because my dick wants a little attention once in a while. That and up until now the right girl hadn’t come along, but then I met Veronica. Her father is one of the university’s trustees. He’s a big name around here and I know, even though they would never say it, my parents are giddy over the fact that I’m not only seeing someone, but that Veronica Lafrance could become a potential future wife for their son. We met here in law school and have spent more time together in the past few months than apart. She’s beautiful, incredibly sexy, hard-working, and a bit bitchy at times, but I like that about her. It gives her an edge over the guys around here who think they have their lives figured out and that people like Veronica should just step aside. Nope. This girl can hold her own.

  “Hey.” She runs up behind me, linking her arm with mine as we walk down the hallway to our last classes.

  I kiss the side of her head. “Hey beautiful. How was your meeting with Dr. Tines?”

  “Oh, my God, Jack!” she exclaims, practically skipping with excitement. “It went better than I ever could have expected! He wanted to let me know that three different New York City law firms had called inquiring about me!”

  “What? That’s amazing!” I practically shout. “So, what did he say?”

  “He said that when the semester is over, I could pretty much take my pick of where I want to go! They all want me and they’re all waiting to negotiate with me. Seriously, law firms fighting over me? This is totally amazing.” She beams. “We have to celebrate.”

  “Okay. I’m game. Where do you want to go? I’m available after Family Law.” Veronica takes my hand and turns in front of me, stopping me in the hallway.

  “I was thinking of a different kind of celebrating.” She bites her lip, looking at me with a hunger I haven’t seen from her before. Is she talking about what I think she’s talking about?

  “Yeah?” My eyebrows shoot up in disbelief.

  She shrugs like she’s trying to play it off. “Yeah. I mean…you know…why not? I deserve to be rewarded, and anyway don’t you think it’s time?” She kisses me on my cheek before skipping off ahead of me. “I’ll catch you later, okay? Text me when class is out.”

  “Yeah.” I watch her, wide-eyed. “Okay.” We’ve been down this road before. We’ve had our intimate moments together. Even if we haven’t yet had intercourse, I can walk tall knowing that I know what her body likes. I know what she wants, I know where she likes to be touched, and thanks to the magazines Jacoby used to have in his dorm room a few years ago, I do a pretty good job knowing how to make her come apart, reveling in her pleasure. But up until today…there hasn’t been much of an interest in reciprocation from her. She would either fall asleep after climaxing, or seem a little uneasy about touching me the way I would touch her. I’m not the kind of guy to ever pressure a girl into sex, and certainly not Mr. Lafrance’s daughter. My dick may make me a horny twenty-something, but I’m not stupid. I would simply let her sleep while I excused myself to the bathroom to finish the job, usually with whatever lotion she had on hand.

  The door to m
y Family Law class opens and a few girls walk out chatting to each other and giggling. There’s no way they heard our conversation and there’s no way they know what I’m thinking right now, so I ignore them as best I can and shuffle into my last class a little prouder than usual. If Veronica meant what I think she meant, I may end this day not a twenty-four-year-old virgin.

  I better clean the pipes before I see her again.

  If she’s really going to touch me, I’ll be damned if my date with Destiny repeats itself.

  “Yessss, Jack,” Veronica whispers as she lays beneath me, her eyes closed, her body writhing under my touch. After all this time, I feel like a damn super hero having a beautiful woman buckling at my touch…speaking my name.