"Someone is in your house!" I scream at Kellen when he comes running down the hallway with a confused look on his face. He takes off in the direction I came from.
"Go to my room, Audrey," Kellen calls out in a cold tone when he walks into the kitchen.
"You aren't going to introduce me to your friend?" The man chuckles, "Are you embarrassed of your own father?"
Father. That one word hit me like a ton of bricks. Kellen’s dad left him twenty years ago. What is he doing here? The man walks into my view and I take in his face and features. At one time this man would've been handsome. Kellen definitely has his features but it's clear he hasn't taken care of his self. I can smell the whiskey from across the room when he grins at me. As Kellen walks up beside him he’s visibly tense and angry.
"That should last you while." Kellen hands him an envelope. "Call before you show up again." His tone is harsh.
"I sent you a text and you didn't respond." His words are starting to slur.
"I'll show you out." Kellen clasps his hand around his father’s shoulder and drags him toward the door.
Once they are outside I hear Kellen talking in a stern voice. I even hear him yell a few times. I quickly try to compose myself and lay all emotions to the side before he can explain to me what's going on here. After several moments I hear a car pull up and a door slam. Kellen walks inside just as the car is driving away. He runs his hand through his hair while he walks toward me staring down at the floor.
"That’s the text you’ve been so upset about." He finally looks at me. At this moment I don't care what he has to tell me. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. My heart breaks at the sight of him hurting.
"He showed up within the first week I was drafted." He pulls back from me to sit down on the couch. I copy his movement. "He contacts me when he needs money."
"What about your mom?" I blurt out before I can stop myself.
"I haven’t heard from her," he shrugs. "My father is an alcoholic. He is living with a new girlfriend each time I hear from him which like I said, is only when he needs money."
"Why didn't you tell me? Does your family know?"
"I didn't want you to worry." He leans in for a quick kiss on my forehead. "And no, they're not going to find out."
"You don't owe him anything, Kellen."
"I'm done talking about this." His tone comes out harsh.
He gets up and stalks off into the kitchen leaving me wondering if I over stepped my boundaries. Kellen probably needs to be alone tonight and I know I need to go back to my place. I have a paper due Monday morning and its Saturday and I still haven't started it. I do have a nagging concern in the back of my mind that Kellen and I are spending too much time together again. If we plan on making this work, our second time around we need to take this slow.
Since he asked me to move in with him already it appears that I will be the one that has to keep distance between us. I walk over to the table where I dropped my purse when we came in from the airport and grab my keys and my still dead phone to toss into my bag.
"Hey baby, I'm going home." I turn the corner in the kitchen and find Kellen digging through his liquor cabinet.
"You're leaving?" He stops and looks up at me. "I was about to make us a drink." The look in his eyes is enough to make me want to move all of my things in here right now but I'm staying strong.
"Yeah, I have a lot of homework. Call me or come by if you need anything." I walk over and plant a soft kiss on his full lips and step away before he can start anything else.
"I love you, Kellen."
"Love you too, babe." He's already distracted with his liquor cabinet again.
My mixed emotions are clouding my judgment as I climb into my car. I'll call him in an hour to check on him. My car is speeding down the highway when I finally burst into sobs. Kellen has kept his dad being out of his life a secret from me the entire time we have been together. On numerous occasions he has flat out lied to me about him. Before I can stop myself, I wonder what else the man I’m in love with could be hiding from me.
∞
I stayed with Olivia all afternoon making sure she was emotionally okay. She cried and vented and I added my input when it was expected, but my mind always landed on Kellen. He called to let me know that he was going out with Adrian and some teammates tonight. His teammates worry me. Adrian knows about me but do his teammates? Images of women hitting on my drunken boyfriend all night take over my mind. I know it shouldn't bother me but, jealousy is an ugly thing.
The endless possibilities of what Kellen has been keeping from me aren’t helping my nerves. My heart is telling me that he would never betray me, but my overactive mind is getting the best of me. The question still remains; if he could lie to me about something so small, what else am I in the dark about? I reach for the remote beside my bed and start flipping aimlessly through channels, looking for a distraction. After no luck I choose the first thing I land on toss the remote. Turning off my lamp, I roll over on my stomach and hope for a decent sleep. Somewhere in the craziness of my mind sleep engulfs me.
I'm jolted awake when my bedroom door bursts open and hits my wall knocking over frames in the process. I hear male voices and the sound of something being knocked over. I'm sure I'm being attacked by this point.
"I think this belongs to you," a familiar voice says. My light is switched on. Adrian is leaning on my door, which is surprisingly still attached. Kellen is sitting on the floor with his hands in his face and behind him four guys are snickering. The realization of how little I have on hits me. My face heats with embarrassment.
"Everybody out!" I yank my covers above my tank top and point to the door.
"Relax, we’re leaving. Kellen wanted to come here," Adrian shrugs, "Where's Olivia?"
"She’s in her room." I wonder if Olivia will get the wakeup call I just received as Adrian leaves my room. Kellen pulls himself off the ground and stumbles over to my bed. I storm over and close the door and turn off my light before he can crawl in.
"Why are you so far away?" He slurs and reaches out for me.
"Go to sleep, Kellen." My cold tone is thick. He mutters a curse and rolls over. His breathing events out instantly, leaving me alone with my frustration. Adrian and Kellen will get an ear full tomorrow morning for their wake up call.
Like clockwork I wake before eight in the morning. Kellen is still asleep. He's lying on his back with his right arm thrown over his eyes. His full lips are the only feature visible on his face and I have to stop myself from going toward him. The covers are pulled below his bare chest and I look over to see his pants, boxers, and shirt tossed in the floor. He must have woken up in the middle of the night. A devious grin stretches across my face.
"Wake up, baby." I shake his shoulder but he only groans in response.
"What time is it?" He says groggily and removes his arm from his eyes.
"Will you make me pancakes?" I kiss his cheek and continue to shake him.
"What time is it?" He looks around waiting for his eyes to focus.
"It doesn't matter." I pull his arm until he's sitting up. He finally gets up and starts toward the door.
"Uh Kellen," I cock my eyebrow at him and let my eyes linger down his perfect but naked body. If we were alone today I wouldn't mind looking at him like this all day, but the last thing I need is Olivia seeing my boyfriend in all of his glory. He rolls his eyes but walks over and pulls on his boxers and leaves the room. I sigh. It's a start, I guess.
I walk down the stairs after him, giggling that I actually got him out of bed to make me breakfast. When I can look at him and see that he is hung-over. I glance down at myself remembering I'm in a tank top and panties with no bra, but Olivia has seen this before. I slam into Kellen at the bottom of the stairs I look up to see Adrian and four other guys, I assume are Kellen’s teammates, occupying my living room.
"Good morning." One of them looks me up and down. My cheeks burn red I try to cover all parts of my body with my arm
s and hands. Adrian slaps the guy on the back of the head and Kellen flips him off. He grabs me by the hand and walks me upstairs, shielding me from prying eyes.
"Sorry babe." He closes my door. "I thought they left."
After handing me a pair of pants, he walks over and kisses me tenderly. His hands travel down the small of my back but don't linger further. He pulls back and looks into my eyes; his perfect smile doesn't reach his blue eyes.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"I talked to my family after you left." He sighs and takes a seat on my bed. "I'm not giving him money anymore."
"Is this what you want?" He nods his head.
"I need to do this," he tells me.
"If you need to talk, I'm here." I kiss his cheek.
"I didn't want you to leave last night, Audrey."
"You should have told me."
"We are still learning, Audrey." I just nod in response. "Being with you may not always be easy." He tucks my hair behind my ears. "But I can't imagine it any other way, Audrey. I love you."
"I love you, too."
"It'll get easier. I promise." He gets up and pulls me to my feet. "Let’s go make some damn pancakes."
The morning passes by in a blur. Adrian and Olivia sneak off to her room and don't return. I learn that the man with the lingering eyes name is Andrew, and the other three are Jared, Joseph, and Eric. The guys talk about the upcoming season and joke about the things they did the night before. My smile fall when they laugh about girls attempts to take Kellen home with them. Each of these guys sees lame attempts from women, but Kellen gets the most attention. As I look over at his face I can't say that I blame them.
Jared, the sweet one, assured me that Kellen has spoke about me numerous times to him. Joseph and Eric agreed with him, but Andrew said he had never heard of me and kept starring at me in an uncomfortable way. Kellen shot him a warning glare each time he spoke to me. I wonder if they are friends, or if Kellen tolerates him because he's a teammate.
The dorky grin that's plastered on my face can't be removed today. Kellen has brought our relationship to a new level. He is including me on his decision he made with his family, and he introduced me to his teammates. I'm confident that wherever I end up Kellen will be by my side. No more secrets.
Chapter twenty
My morning lecture ends twenty minutes before scheduled time. My mind swims with endless possibilities of what to do with my rare extra time. My legs are taking me to my car when my thoughts land on the quiet cafe four blocks off campus.
I order my usual brownie and mocha and take a place near the back wall hoping for privacy and study time. Rockell has spotted me before I can set my things down on my table. I cringe. She waves and starts to walk over to me; my plan for studying will be interrupted by her gossip and new fascination with Kellen Reeves girlfriend.
"Audrey!" She pulls me in for an uncomfortable hug.
"Hello." I keep my tone light and friendly.
"What have you been up to lately?" She takes a seat across from me and welcomes herself. "I haven't seen the star couple out in awhile."
"We stay in a lot."
"So do you guys hang out with Olivia?" The large grin on her face is full of secrets she wants to reveal to me.
"Yes we hang out with Olivia and Adrian."
"Is it awkward? You know...” her voice trails off but the grin is still plastered on her face.
"I'm not sure if I'm following." I raise my eyebrow at her waiting for her ridiculous explanation so that I can return to studying.
"I wouldn't want to hang out with my best friend if she had sex with my boyfriend." She giggles.
Olivia and Kellen, no, they hate each other. Is that why they hate each other? Olivia always shrugs off my line of questioning when I ask her about it. But this can't be true. The hot tears in the back of my eyes threatening to spill down my face. I glance up to find Rockell looking for a reaction from me.
"No it's not awkward." My voice comes out steady regardless of what I feel on the inside. "I have to get to class."
I pull myself from the chair and gather my things quickly before anyone can see me fall apart. I don't know if this is even true I need to go Kellen and ask him face to face. I jump in my car, send Olivia a text to come over and I drive for the beach house I've never dreaded to go to.
∞
"Hey baby." He meets me at the door before I can knock. "This is a nice surprise."
"Hey. What's wrong?" He takes in the look on my face and his features morph into concern.
I walk inside and kick off my flats and drop my purse without saying a word to him. I walk over and sit on the edge of his couch, quickly composing myself and wondering how to ask this dreaded question. Kellen kneels down in front of the on the floor and pulls my hands in his. I glance up at his perfect face and ask myself if I really want to know the answer. What if it's yes? The emotions in his eyes are a relief to me. I realize he cares deeply for me no matter what the outcome.
"Did you sleep with Olivia?" I look him straight in the eye looking for any indication that he lies to me. But instead of the dreadful answer I thought I might get he throws his head back in the loudest laughter I've heard.
A knock on the door pulls him from making fun of me. Olivia stalks in and her eyes settle on mine in confusion. Kellen's laughter is still present which only makes her look to me with her eyes full of questions.
"What's going on?" She's asks.
"I was told you two had sex!" My voice is already in defensive mode.
"No, we did not have sex," She finally says, but I can tell she's hiding something.
"Nothing has ever happened between you two?" She walks over to me and pulls on my wrist to sit by her on the couch.
"Yes," she admits hesitantly.
"What the fuck, Olivia?" Kellen yells.
"It was my freshman year. You were so drunk I doubt you remember." She shoots the last part at him in disgust. I watch his expression change from confusion to regret when his blue eyes found mine.
"I don't remember," he whispers to me. His eyes never leave mine.
"I attended my first frat party freshman year with two girls from a class. I met Kellen and Adrian there. I started to leave with Kellen but when got in his car I threw up." She continues. "Kellen got pissed and made me get out of his truck in front of everyone at the party."
"So you didn't have sex?"
"No, we didn’t get that far. Audrey, I'm so sorry I didn't want to tell you." She pleads.
“What do you mean you didn’t get that far,” I’m yelling at this point. “How far did you get?” She shakes her head in response, pleading with me not to make her answer.
"I'll be home later we can talk then." I say with no emotion in my voice. Kellen shows her out of the house. I try reminding myself that Kellen had no idea who I was when this happened and he doesn't remember. Reminding me of these things doesn't ease the pain. Olivia should have told me the moment she knew I was interested him.
"Audrey." Kellen comes back into view and makes his way over to me. "I'm so sorry." He reaches out and pulls my chin up to look in my eyes. I have no way of hiding my emotions after he does this to me. He doesn't say anything, but one look into his eyes shows me every thought he has.
"There are so many Olivia’s," he begins. "I can't even ballpark how many girls there have been. I can tell you I don't remember any of those girls, but I'll never forget you. There will never be another you, Audrey."
I nod in response not knowing what to say to him right now. I want to yell there will never be another him. I want to tell him that I love him and I forgive him but the words just won't come out. I fear that my words will fail me if I speak. My phone buzzes with a text.
Audrey I am so sorry. I forgot about it ever happening until Rockell said something to me a few weeks ago. I should've told you and I shouldn't have been so hateful to Kellen.
I shove my phone back into my pocket and glance at Kellen. He’s sitting on the couch with
his face in his hands. My eyes find my purse on the side table and I glance at the door, calculating how much time I have to sneak out before he notices I’m gone. I grab my purse, tossing my phone into it as I walk, but when I reach the door he speaks, “Please don’t go.” I let out a shaky breath without turning back to face him, I walk out of the door and out of his life.
Knocking sounds at the door pulling me from the sappy movie I ordered. After I bolted from Kellen's house yesterday, I checked into a hotel downtown instead of going home and facing Olivia. I open the door to reveal Kellen leaning against the door frame with his head hung low. I step aside to let him walk in my room. Its better if I get this over with, I remind myself. He takes a seat on the couch and motions for me to sit with him.
“Where do we go from here?" He finally lifts his head to reveal his bloodshot eyes.
“Nowhere," I say with a steady voice.
He looks at me in surprise. Did he expect to come here and talk me out of this? My insecurities of our relationship cannot withstand the thought of my boyfriend and my best friend being together in intimate ways.
“Please leave, Kellen, don’t call, text, or come see me. I’m done.” I nod to the door for him to show himself out. He stares at me for what feels like an eternity before he storms out of my room, slamming the door as he leaves.
∞
My phone buzzes for the millionth time today. No I'm not going to come home Christmas, mom. I don't want to talk to you Olivia or Kellen. They'll get the hint after a few hours I guess. I fall back on my pillow and flip through channels. I debate putting clothes back on after I get out of the shower but I just stay in my towel. Nobody is coming home any time soon.
I notice the framed pictures of me and Kellen below my TV. The one on the left is a picture of us on Halloween and the one on the right is of us out on a date I'm smiling at the camera and he's kissing my cheek. I send the remote flying out of my hand at the picture. It falls to the floor and shatters; I giggle and take another sip of wine. Tomorrow I'll face what has happened, but tonight I'm going to lie in my bed and drink.
Forever Careless Page 11