Forever Careless

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Forever Careless Page 12

by Brittany Butler


  The faint, constant sound of vibrating wakes me up from my wine induced coma. The number on my cell phone isn't one I recognize. My thumb hovers over the phone until I finally press answer.

  "Hello." My voice is so raspy that even I don't recognize it.

  "Is Audrey there?" A small voice asks.

  "This is Audrey speaking."

  "Hey! It’s Chloe," she says more upbeat.

  I bolt up from my bed and look at the clock, its midnight here. My heart sinks when I realize Kellen may not have arrived or something has happened to him.

  "What's wrong?" I ask.

  "I was going to ask you the same thing. Why aren't you here?" I let out a sigh of relief. Kellen is fine.

  "We got into a fight, Chloe."

  "I heard. What happened?"

  "I found out something about him and my best friend. It happened a few years back."

  "If it happened that long ago, why are you two fighting?" She asks in confusion.

  "They should've told me!"

  "I get that." She sighs. "Did Kellen remember? I'm not sure if you know this but he has had his fair share..."

  "I know, Chloe." I cut her off quickly, not wanting to discuss his whoring. "He told me he didn't remember at first..." My voice trails off. After Kellen came by my room he admitted he remembered it happening. He remembers my perfect best friend and will be able to compare us on almost every level imaginable.

  "Hear him out, Audrey. That boy is devastated." The admission is a punch in the gut. "He's been drinking entire two days he's been here."

  "Okay," that’s all I can manage to say.

  I toss my phone and it's temptation to the opposite side of bed. My irrational mind starts to decipher and analyze every detail of my relationship drama. Chloe has known for awhile and has kept this a secret from me. Kellen didn't remember. Now that I brought it up, can I live with my insecurities? Can I be with him after he’s been with my best friend? I slam my hands back down on my bed. I'm getting nowhere with this. I've been in my bed for two day and the only outcome I've had so far is an ever present hangover.

  Moments like this I pick up my phone to call my dad and then I remember what happened. It hits me that I’m not able to call Olivia or my mother. The anger and hate have left my heart leaving me numb. I was half way broken but Kellen Reeves finished me off.

  Chapter twenty-one

  A knock on the door draws me from staring at the blank flat screen in front of me. I've been standing behind the couch with a now cold cup of coffee, chewing a hole in my lip. I haven't made any progress with my dramatic cluster-fuck of a life. Olivia and Kellen are both due back today from their family’s home.

  "I have a delivery for Audrey Henson." A small man greeted me as I opened the door. I grabbed the unnecessarily large bouquet of flowers and thanked him.

  I want to see you. I'm so sorry, Love, Kellen.

  I grab my iPhone from the table to check for messages. I have two texts from Kellen and one from Chloe, also a missed call from my mother. I am not even going there this morning. My buzzes and I glance down to see Kellen calling. I pull in my bottom lip; my mind is jumping around too fast to make coherent thoughts.

  "Hello." I squeeze my eyes shut.

  "Audrey," he sounds surprised. "Baby, it's so good to hear your voice."

  Before I can speak I hear a female voice. "Are you Kellen Reeves?"

  "No, I'm not. He's a really good looking guy though. I'm flattered," he laughs. "I'm sorry. I'm taking my seat on the plane,” he tells me.

  "It's fine," I lie. I'll never get used to the groupies he seems to have wherever he goes. If Kellen was a normal guy that didn't stand out or get recognized almost everywhere we go, things could be different for us.

  "Can I see you when I get home?"

  "I guess you can come by my place." I try to act nonchalant as I look around my disastrous house and catch my horrifying reflection in the mirror.

  "You can pick me up at the airport..." He starts to say, but I cut him off.

  "Don't push it." He laughs.

  "I'll text you when I land. I love you, Audrey." The phone disconnects as soon as the words leave his mouth.

  ∞

  A car door slams after hours of me flipping mindlessly through shows that couldn't hold my attention. I run to the window to see a white Range Rover, but my eyes linger over to the owner strolling to my door. His white thermal is rolled up to his elbows and hugs his arms. He raises his face to reveal the dark stubble that lines his strong jaw line.

  "Come in." I yell at the same time he knocks.

  He wastes no time with speaking, he stalks over and throws his arms around me. His lips find mine but I push his chest before the kiss gets deeper. He doesn’t apologize; instead he pulls me on the couch to sit beside him.

  “I miss you,” he finally says. I nod in agreement, not trusting my voice to speak. My phone vibrates on the couch beside Kellen. He reaches over and lifts the phone to show me the name on the screen.

  “Please, pretend I’m not here,” his face turns to a scowl. “Answer it.” He adds when I hesitate.

  I take the phone and swipe it before holding it to my ear, “Hey William.”

  “Hello Audrey, How are you?” He asks me.

  “Fine, what’s up?” Stop beating around the damn bush. What do you want? I look at Kellen with a forced smile, but he’s still pissed.

  “Rachel and I are going to be in San Francisco this weekend. She is insisting that we all get together.”

  “That sounds fun. We should do that.” I reply with a tight smile. I can feel Kellen staring at me this couldn’t be more awkward. “Well, if that’s all I need to get off the phone. Call me when you and Rachel get here.” I end the call before he can say another word.

  “He wants to see you,” he mutters annoyed.

  “His girlfriend, Rachel, wants the four of us to meet up.” I stress the word girlfriend.

  “No,” he tells me. My jaw flies open.

  “We aren’t even together! Maybe I should call him back and tell him that. Then the two of us could meet up alone!” I yell reminding them that he isn’t going to control me.

  “Your mother would love that.” He stands and walks behind the couch to grip the back. His knuckles are white from the hard grip.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I stand up to face him.

  “She practically throws him at you and flaunts him in front of me! I will never be like him, Audrey,” His voice is low and even now. “You don’t even have a relationship with her because of me.”

  “It is not you! It’s been like this since my dad died.” My face drops in my hands when I realize we’ve managed to walk into the same fight again.

  “I made it worse,” he finally adds.

  “It was going to happen eventually, she will come around.” I lie. “This is new for her, William is happy with someone and I’m…” I let my voice trail off. I’m having the same fight with my sort of boyfriend. We’ve been broken up more than we’ve been together.

  “You’re what?”

  “In love with you,” It’s the only answer that I have. It satisfies him. He smiles, but I ask myself is it enough? He leans over to kiss me but I turn my face and say, “I need more time.” He groans in response. Minutes tick by before he speaks.

  “I’m sorry, so sorry.” I don’t look at him so he continues. “I’ll go hang out with William and his girlfriend.”

  “Okay,” is all I say but I’m smiling from my victory on the inside.

  “Okay? You drive me fucking crazy.” This time I do laugh.

  The front door opens and I hear heels click through the foyer. My stomach drops at the thought of seeing them in the same room. Will it always be like this? I know I need to talk to Olivia, I can’t let one secret ruin our friendship.

  “I’ll call you,” as if reading my mind, Kellen gets up from the couch and goes to the door without acknowledging Olivia’s presence.

  “How was your trip
?” She looks caught off guard but she quickly recovers and sits down beside me.

  “I’ve had better. How are you?” She answers me.

  “I’ve been better.” I answer honestly.

  “Audrey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to keep that from you, but I knew what it would do to you if you knew. He loves you and you love him, don’t let a mistake that we didn’t remember keep you from him.” When I don’t respond she continues to ramble, “What you have is rare. You won’t find it again.”

  “You’ve found it with Adrian. Don’t be dramatic.” I roll my eyes at her.

  “No, what I had with him wasn’t like what you have. What you had with William doesn’t compare either. You know I’m right.”

  “Had?” I look at her with question. I realize that I haven’t talked to her in days and I have no idea what’s going on in her life.

  “We aren’t getting back together, Audrey.” She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’m fine. I’ve had my closure but I don’t want to talk about what’s in the past, I want to talk about fixing the mess I made.”

  “Who are you and what did you do with my best friend?” I smile.

  “I’ve been watching Oprah with my mom for days. Shut the hell up.” We both laugh, truly laugh where our problems evaporate and only the moment in front of us is on our minds.

  “William called.” I say when we compose ourselves, “he wants Kellen and me to hang out with him and Rachel.”

  “I don’t think he knows what he’s getting into,” her eyebrows shoot up.

  “It will be fine,” I assure her, but she doesn’t look convinced. Kellen will be on his best behavior, right?

  ∞

  “You look beautiful,” Kellen kisses me on the cheek. When I walk through his front door his eyes run down my short, navy, lace dress.

  “They will be here in a few minutes,” I remind him and he rolls his eyes.

  I take him in for the first time; he’s wearing all black which, surprisingly, is really flattering on him. His button down shirt is rolled up to his elbows and tucked into his black slacks. My eyes linger down to his dress shoes when he says, “this is as dressed up as you’ll ever see me.”

  “Unless you want me to wear a suit to our wedding,” I stiffen, but he chuckles. I hear a car pull up to his house and Kellen looks out the window.

  “Does he really have driver?” He looks at me with his eyebrow cocked and I nod in response. “I get it, his life is hard I can’t imagine what would happen if he added driving to his list of things to do.”

  “None of that,” I remind him.

  “I have thirty seconds before the pompous douche makes it to my door, I can say whatever I want until then.” I bite my lip to keep my laughter inside; I don’t need to encourage him.

  When the door bell rings I think about how it will look that we are standing at the door watching them. Kellen motions for me to answer it he while sets down a glass of amber liquid, which I didn’t notice until now, on a table. I let out a breath and hope that was his first one as I open the door.

  “Hi Audrey,” Rachel squeals and hugs me so quick I almost lose my footing. She steps back and her eyes are on Kellen. “I’m huge fan. I’m Rachel, William’s girlfriend.” She looks back at him tenderly when she speaks of him.

  Kellen offers out his hand and says, “I’m Kellen but I think you already know that.” She giggles and I hear William sigh. “Are we ready to leave? Audrey made reservations at eight.”

  “What is the address? I’ll let my driver know…”

  “I’ll drive us,” Kellen cut him off. Rachel and William lead us out and Kellen turns to me to mouth can you believe this guy? I shake my head at him and hope that he doesn’t see my faint smile. The last think Kellen needs is to be encouraged.

  “When do you start training?” William asks when we get in Kellen’s Range Rover.

  “February, but I work out Monday-Friday.”

  “Easy life,” William laughs.

  “It would be a lot easier if I had someone to drive me…”

  “I made reservations at my favorite Thai restaurant. I hope that’s okay with everyone.” I have three pair of eyes on me before I realize I was yelling to cut Kellen off. I sink back down in my seat and avoid speaking with anyone else during the ride.

  When we are seated in the restaurant I pick up the drink menu, this is exactly what I need. Kellen is next to me at the table, and Rachel and William sit across from us. Rachel is looking around while boasting compliments about the place I chose to bring them.

  “Audrey told me you could bring us to a game and introduce us to the players,” Rachel turns her attention back to Kellen.

  “She did?” He raises his eyebrows at me.

  “Yes, when we were in New York we had lunch together and she told me you give her tickets all the time. She invited me to come to a game,” I want to reach over and grab her hand to calm her. Anyone in earshot can tell that she’s nervous.

  “Yeah, sure I can do that. What about you, William? Do you like baseball?”

  “I’m not a fan of sports,” he answers quickly.

  “What are you a fan of?” An image of me pounding my head against the table is the only thing that’s getting me through their conversation.

  “I enjoy reading. That’s why I’m taking over the publishing company,” he nods in my direction, “that she doesn’t want.”

  “I guess that’s not what she’s into,” Kellen says casually as he looks down at his menu. I pull my phone out to send him a text.

  You promised Kellen. Be nice.

  He started it. He responds immediately.

  And I’m finishing it! You both are acting immature! My eyes discretely find his to glare at him.

  Sorry. I’ll stop. He changes his tone and I smile at him.

  “Can we go out after dinner? I’m dying to see the San Francisco night life.” I look up to see Rachel grinning. William hates going out but I know he will just to make her happy.

  “My teammate just opened up a club downtown.” Kellen tells us.

  “Yes, that sounds perfect.” Rachel beams, but I can see William shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

  “Is that okay with you?” He leans over to whisper in my ear. I nod in response.

  “What teammate?”

  “Andrew partnered with a man that owns nightclubs,” he notices my face at the mention of Andrews name and chuckles, “we can go home if you want.”

  Of all of his teammates it would be Andrew. The one and only time I’ve been around him, I vowed to make it my last. His lingering looks and comments are making me dread what is to come after dinner. For Rachel’s sake, I decide to take one for the team.

  “We can go,” Kellen doesn’t look convinced, but Rachel smiles with victory.

  “Kellen, tell me all about baseball!” Rachel asks,

  I eat in silence as I listen to batting averages, pitching strategies, and other things that I know nothing of. Kellen seems uncomfortable and bored talking about himself; I notice that he keeps stealing glances in my direction. William texts throughout the meal and that make me suspicious.

  “Dinner is on me,” William finally speaks when the waiter drops off the bill at the table. He scoops it up and hands his card to the waiter before anyone could interject. “Kellen, how far is the club we are going to?”

  “Twenty minutes with the traffic.” He says without looking at him. At least they’re talking, it’s a start.

  “Olivia asks us to stay at your home instead of finding a hotel,” William throws at me without glancing up from his phone. Rachel’s face flushes, but she quickly composes herself.

  “She did?” I ask at the same time Kellen says “no.”

  “You can stay, Kellen is staying over also,” I announce before he can say anything else.

  “Thank you,” he stands and closes his blazer. “There’s a problem in finance I need to return to your house, Audrey, my driver is almost here.”

 
“Uh bye,” I manage to say.

  “Have fun. I’ll see you soon,” he says and leans down to plant a kiss on Rachel’s cheek. She doesn’t look bothered, instead she has grown accustom to this.

  She watches after him, as soon as he walks thru the door she leans over and smiles. “Ready?”

  “What is Olivia like?” Rachel asks as Kellen pulls out of the parking lot.

  “Well,” I start expecting Kellen to jump in at anytime. “She’s beautiful, naturally beautiful. She’s fun and carefree. The opposite of me in every way,” I laugh.

  “I haven’t met her, though William hung out with her a lot while she was in New York,” she says coolly.

  “I’m sure you’ll meet her this weekend,” I smile at her. “The three of us have been friends for as long as I can remember.”

  I hear her murmur great from the backseat. I look over at Kellen to find him watching me before he accelerates at the traffic light. Then it hits me like a brick wall. The way my mother seems to know everything happening with me, Adrian’s supposed fight with Olivia’s family after they went to New York, their final break-up, William’s impulsive decision to fly down here, his texting, his poor excuse for leaving, and Rachel’s curiosity with Olivia all lead to one thing: Olivia and William.

  Chapter twenty-two

  “Kellen Reeves, I’m on the list.” The bouncer nods and pulls the rope back to let the three of us pass. Rachel’s eyes take in the scene in front of her, but she stays quiet.

  “How long have you known about Olivia and William?” I shout into Kellen’s ear to drown out the music.

  “Adrian told me he suspected but I didn’t know for sure. We still don’t know for sure,” he adds.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I glare at him.

  “Honestly, I was afraid of your reaction,” he shrugs. He follows into step behind a man that announces he’s leading us into the VIP section.

  The man leads us up a staircase and into a private area that overlooks the dance floor. There are half walls separating ten different booths. Kellen spots Andrew and makes his way over to the table.

 

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