The Awakening (Wake Up #1)

by Sarah Brocious

  Nolan paled.

  "I almost lost you tonight," she explained.

  He drew in a deep breath. "It’s not right. Even if I could...I wouldn't."

  She reached over, and touched his hand.

  He turned his palm over, so theirs touched. "I've taken enough liberties...far too many. I just haven't been able to help myself." His eyes lifted, and gentled on her. "I've never been so obsessed with someone...ever."

  Raina felt her tummy flutter. She'd never been more excited over another man. Even David, and that scared her. If she had been wrecked losing him...how much more so would she be over Nolan?

  "We weren't dealt a fair hand," she whispered. "Wanting to be together...but the cost, so great."

  His brow furrowed. "I know."

  "You won't hurt me," she said gently.

  "I wouldn't be able to help it Raina. It’s just how it is." His eyes darkened, at the look in her eyes.

  "For normal immortals," she smiled at "normal". Immortals were far from normal...but Nolan was more special than any other immortal she had met. "You're special."

  He smiled sadly. "I'm nothing special."

  She shook her head. "If Richard had done to Thanatos, what he had done to you...Thanatos would be gone. How does that not make you special?"

  Nolan shook his head. "Don't romanticize my gifts Raina, so that it benefits what we both want."

  She felt her lip tremble. "I only...I only am trying to convince you to stay because there may be hope for us."

  He slid his chair back in frustration, his fingers weaving through his hair, and then resting on his neck...where he rubbed without thought.

  "It’s ok," she sighed. "I know your life will be easier without me in it."

  He frowned, grabbed her wrist, and hauled her over into his lap. He was kissing her before she could make protest. His arms surrounded her tightly, but she was not fighting to get away. Her arm encircled his neck, and she held on for dear life.

  Their life may be upside down, and far from perfect, but this always worked. There was no awkwardness, timidity in this kiss. It was passionate, sweet and arousing...and real, pure, untainted.

  Nolan breathed in the breaths she was gasping, as he kissed the wits out of her. He wanted nothing more than to silence her painful words, sooth the rejection in her voice. He also wished to silence the ache in himself, and touching her both calmed and excited that ache. He was nothing without her and everything with her.

  He pulled away, looking down into her now gentled blue eyes. He smiled at the swollen mouth, the pulse at the base of her throat pounding. His own heart clamored to escape his chest, and his breathing was ragged at best, but she no longer looked grieved....rejected. "Life without you would be far from easy, Aelan," he breathed harshly. "In a perfect world, I would have you for always. I would make you mine in every way. But we don't live in a perfect world."

  Raina’s fingers still tangled with his hair, and she tugged gently. "There is only one thing that could come close to perfection," she sighed. “Being with you.”

  Adrenaline spiked through his veins. He felt as though his ability to breath had been choked out by the meaning in those words. His hand brushed her cheek, his thumb gently swept over her bottom lip. He touched his mouth gently to it. "I could just be like this for hours,"

  He smiled at her flushed face, kissing her cheeks, the tip of her nose, then tenderly, her forehead. He looked down into her hazy eyes. "I wish I deserved you."

  She blinked, and shook her head. "You have me."

  He breathed deeply. "You just love to tempt me, don't you?" His voice was not angry...just amused.

  "Come," she whispered, getting to her feet. She tugged his hand, and then led him to the living room. She shrugged out of her fluffy robe, having grown far too warm. She sat down on the couch, and looked up at him. "Sit with me."

  He tilted his head.

  Raina laughed and patted the cushion beside her, and he sank down next to her. She made quick progress, crawling back into his lap.

  His breath caught, and he gave her a stern look. "You're in my lap."

  "Oh I'm sorry...does this bother you?"

  He chuckled, as her arms went about his neck, her fingers twisting in his hair. “For all the wrong reasons."

  "You're not going to remind me of boundaries?" She pulled his hair teasingly.

  His eyes softened. "I won't have to if you behave."

  "I just want a kiss." Her blue eyes danced, and she pulled him slowly to her, her lips just a breath away. "Don't hold back this time. If all I get is a kiss...I want it to be worth it." She tugged his hair again.

  He chuckled, huskily. "Raina...I have to hold back. You don't just lose yourself in a kiss and expect to recover enough to respect boundaries."

  "I have faith in you," she laughed, nipping at his jaw.

  Nolan choked on a laugh. "Faith that I will succumb? Yes...I know."

  She played with his hair, burying her face against his neck. "Are you saying I'm trying to seduce you?"

  "Quite effectively," he growled.

  She smiled, knowing he could not see her, as her head was tucked against him. She breathed in deeply.

  He sighed. "This does not make things better for me." His lips whispered a kiss against her temple. "I can't be here now...feeling what I feel...wanting what I want, with you in my arms, kissing my neck...cuddling into me. It will only lead to one thing...and that is not going to happen."

  She frowned, sitting up to look into his face. She shifted in his lap, getting his gorgeous frowny face in return. "What’s one more going to hurt?"

  Nolan frowned. "Another kiss Raina and I can make no promises."

  Her eyes danced. He did not like the triumphant look there. Then just as quickly as the triumph was there, surprise replaced it, and she gave a shriek, jumping from his lap.

  Nolan thought for a moment she had come to her senses, but instead she was on her feet, chastising the dog for a cold nose on her leg. He chuckled, patting Turk happily. "Thanks boy," he chuckled. "You saved me. I might have had to endure another torturous kiss."

  "It wouldn't have gone anywhere anyway," she bit back, upset and embarrassed now. "Not with you...noble Nolan."

  His brows lifted, and by the look in his face, she knew she had hurt his pride. "Come back over here and we'll see how far it goes," he said with soft threat.

  "No thank you. I think I'm over it."

  "Over it? Raina...you'll never be over it," he growled.

  Raina growled back, and pitched a nearby pillow at Nolan. He caught it easily; his eyes alight with surprise. "You are so sure of that?"

  "I am certain," he whispered. If she felt anything like he did for her...it was one hundred percent the truth.

  She crossed her arms before her and glared at him. “I’m not that enamored. I could refrain from you if I wanted. Besides, being so sure of yourself, I don’t believe I would allow you another kiss tonight.”

  He tossed the pillow aside. "You wouldn't would you?" His annoyed frown turned his lips down.

  She shook her head, her blue eyes snapping back. "No, in fact I won't let you even touch me!" She took a step back, as he rose to his feet. Her butterflies woke up, and unfurled in her tummy.

  "Is that so?"

  "Yes, and you shouldn't look so mad about it! You said yourself...you can't be...in this room with me like that, and not touch me. I'm just saving you!" She swallowed, as he took a step toward her. Her bravado was failing her.

  "All bark, no bite, aren't you, Aelan?" He let his eyes take her in head to toe. "Not thirty seconds ago you were trying to seduce me...now you're shaking like a leaf. Is it because you don't have the upper hand anymore?" His voice dropped into a seductive tone.

  She pulled in a breath, but her heart refused to slow.

  "Good old Nolan, he'll defend your virtue, even if you push him to the very brink. You can’t tease and tease and tease......without consequences." He shook his head. "You've always seen me as pe
rfect. You are very wrong." He reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips.

  Raina’s breath caught, feeling the warmth of his lips on her hand. He branded her with his eyes, and she couldn't move.

  "I do have a breaking point. And I am very close to it right now." He drew her arms around his neck.

  Raina looked up into his face, scared and excited by the way his gaze burned. She'd never seen Nolan so forceful. "Are you expecting me to fall apart in your arms now?" She had to fight to keep the trembling out of her voice.

  He frowned. "That comes after the kiss."

  She shivered, she couldn't stop it, and an arrogant smile crossed his face. It was gorgeous...seductive, and she let out a shaky breath despite her resolve. She fisted her hands in his hair, and pulled at his nape.

  "So eager Raina?" His eyes danced with desire.

  "Yes," she admitted in annoyance.

  His chuckle came deep from his chest. "You want me to kiss you then? Touch you?"

  She nodded. "Please."

  His warm breath touched her skin. "You will tell me to stop when it gets to be too much. I will give you your kiss, and no more," he growled. "You will stop me Raina, do you hear me?"

  She nodded. "Yes, please."

  His mouth teased hers, and then drew back cruelly. "You will stop me?"

  "I...I will,” she whimpered. His lips dipped to hers. "I'll try to," she sighed into his mouth.

  He drew back. "No trying, Raina."

  She yanked his hair. "I can't make that promise."

  His eyes flashed. "Then no kiss." He disentangled her arms from his neck.

  Raina frowned, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling with all her might. Her burst of annoyed strength, surprised both of them. He took a step forward, as she took one back to compensate their balance. An ever present pooch was their demise, as he knocked into the back of Raina’s legs. Down they went.

  Raina landed hard, but surprisingly, Nolan had managed to get a hand behind her back, and her head to cushion the fall. He landed with not so much softness on top of her. The wind was knocked from her lungs.

  Nolan rested his weight of his forearms, as he loomed over her. "Raina, are you okay?" He glared at Turk, who scattered, running up the stairs in fright. Nolan pushed the hair from her face.

  Raina pulled in a gasping breath, then fell into a fit of giggles.

  Nolan smiled, and chuckled too. "That was graceful."

  They laughed together, until they were gasping for breath.

  She smiled. "Yes it was thank you." She reached up to tuck an errant strand of hair from his forehead. She liked the sight of him over her, the weight of his body against hers.

  Nolan’s laughter died, as she touched his face.

  "You are so beautiful," she whispered.

  He brushed his nose gently against hers. "That’s supposed to be my line."

  Raina drew in a breath.

  "So I will improvise." His eyes held humor. "You are lovely, sweet, tender, delightful...mine."

  Raina nodded, as all trace of humor vanished. She bit back a moan, as his lips meet hers. Her heart leapt into her throat. More joy could not be possible. The man she loved in her arms kissing her, claiming her with his words!

  Nolan could not get enough of her taste. That was soon becoming not enough, and with her beneath him, moving restlessly, it was becoming torturous. He lifted slightly to relieve her from his crushing weight, and knew the error too late. She freed her legs, and had them wrapped around his waist. He bit off a growl.

  Raina pulled him back in for a kiss. "Nolan, I love you," she breathed.

  "And I love you," he murmured against her throat. He groaned, when her hands moved under his shirt, touching his skin. He wished he had more than the protection of a thin shirt and sweat pants. There was no chance of hiding anything, especially his reaction to her.

  Raina gasped when he moved gently against her.

  "I'm sorry," he whispered, knowing his desire was no secret.

  She sighed and mimicked his motion.

  "Raina," he growled. "Be still." He swallowed her laugh with another kiss, his cheeks blazing, his heart pounding. It was too much...and it was not enough. A gasp escaped him, and Nolan tore his mouth from hers. He was dragging in ragged breaths, his eyes looked accusing. "I said still," he growled down at her.

  Raina smiled sheepishly. "It’s involuntary," she whispered, a fine pink painted her cheeks. She tugged the edge of his shirt. “Can we take this off?"

  "No," he growled.

  "Yes," she growled back, and tugged again.

  Nolan frowned, and tossed it aside, he'd been too warm in it anyway. He rolled off her, much to her displeasure. He lay on his back, dragging in breath after breath, calming himself. He swore under his breath, as she took the same place over him as he had over her.

  "Raina!" His hands rested on her hips, intending to toss her off, but he froze, unable to do it. The gentle look in her eyes stopped him. "Why are you doing this to me?" His lips curved.

  Raina slid her hands over his chest, smiling, loving the contact. "Just loving you," she whispered. She let her fingers dance over his torso, liking his indrawn breath. Her eyes fell on his scar, and she smiled sadly. Her fingers traced its ragged edge. "This...brought you to me, Nolan."

  He watched her face, not following her fingers. "Yes...I suppose it did," he said softly.

  "It’s become my favorite part of you," she whispered. Her eyes lifted with mischief.

  Nolan chuckled. "Raina...." He drug her down for a kiss.

  She lowered her lips to his chin, down his throat, down his sternum, and then veering right, until her mouth was planting sweet kisses along the scar.

  He closed his eyes against the emotion that tender act evoked. He drew in a deep breath, feeling close to tears. Tears?

  Raina sensed his change, and her lips softened further over the scar, her eyes lifted to his, and that was enough for him.

  "Aelan," he growled. "Enough come here." He pulled her face back to his, and worshipped her mouth, tenderly. Raina’s hands on his chest, running over his arms was distracting. His hands dropped to her hips to cease her restless movement. "Just kiss me," he sighed. "Can it be enough to just kiss me?" His words were a plea.

  Raina lifted a fraction, to look down into his eyes. "No, it can't," she sighed.

  His heart thudded deep in his chest. With a moan, he rolled her back beneath him, pinning her to the ground. His hands captured hers, and placed them above her head, as he took her mouth. He let go, channeled all his love, all his emotion into her. He kissed and kissed her, until tears were rolling down his face. He pulled back breathlessly, releasing her arms.

  She brushed the tears from his cheeks, pulled him down so she could kiss them away. Her heart was so full....and he had never been more open to her!

  "I want you. I don’t want to stop," he whispered.

  Raina’s fingers went to his hair, lovingly, gently pushing her fingers through it. "I know," she breathed.

  "Tell me to stop," he sighed.

  She shook her head.

  "Yes," he demanded.

  "No," she mouthed.

  His body shook with need. "I won't hurt you."

  "I know," she whispered. She arched gently against him, and he issued a groan. She liked the sound. "Please Nolan...don’t stop."

  Nolan wanted to sob his need was so great. He pulled in a breath, and closed his eyes. "Raina....you need to wake up."

  Raina shouted in protest, "No!" She shook her head. "Don't do this to me Nolan! You know I will know...this was real!"

  He nodded, opening his eyes to hers. "Wake up, Aelan."

  Tears fell down her cheeks.

  "Wake up, baby," he murmured.

  And she did…in her bed. She awoke to her own sobs, her own feelings of defeat, and no Nolan.

  She ran down the stairs...he wasn't there. Turk whined at the door, and she ran to see if his car was there in the driveway. There was a car there...but in
stead of a red Charger; there was that black pick up.

  Chapter 19 Just…Gone

  Raina was fully dressed, had had her coffee, and taken care of her animals, before she finally had the courage to go out and face Thanatos. Her heart was still fragile...still confused. Nolan had left her.

  Slowly, she approached the pickup...a cup of coffee in hand.

  The driver’s side window went down slowly, and green eyes, full of concern, meet hers. "Hey, beautiful," he greeted softly.

  Raina handed him the coffee, which he gratefully took. She bit her lip, and glanced about. "Where is he?"

  Thanatos took a deep sip of his coffee, before he looked her back in the eye. "Away."

  Raina shook her head. "That’s not an answer."

  "He was pissed," he sighed. "He didn't give me many details. He asked me to watch over you...I drove right over." His eye brows lifted. "What the hell did you do to him, Raina?”

  Raina shook her head, tears appearing. "I wouldn't tell him to stop."

  Thanatos frown. "Stop? Stop what?"

  She blushed, and looked down at her hands.

  A chuckle reached her ears. "Oh, okay, I see. Wow...that is big."

  Raina glared at him.

  "Poor guy," Thanatos sighed.

  Raina leaned against the pickup. "He used his dream trick on me!"

  He laughed out right.

  "It’s not funny," she growled. "And now he's gone...and you of all people have no idea where he is? That scares me."

  "He will be fine Raina. I promise. He just needs to be on his own right now."

  She shook her head. "He's been alone too long. He's just scared now...he was opening up to me..."

  "And he ran to save your virtue...his own. Possibly to even save your life!"

  Raina blinked at his words, spoken so aggressively. "I don't care to have a life without him," she whispered.

  He reached out to cup her chin. "Trust me, he feels the same. But he will do anything for you to have a life, Raina...even take himself out of yours."

  She frowned. "We have to look for him..."