Please say yes.
Jessie and Roxanne locked eyes, and something passed between them that I couldn’t put my finger on. Then one side of Roxanne’s red-painted lips turned upward.
Jessie’s chocolate gaze skimmed over me to Raven.
“You’re welcome to join us,” I said. “You can bring Roxanne.”
Roxanne nodded once to Jessie.
“Sure,” Jessie said.
An image of me jumping up and down like Raven usually did when she got her way flashed before me.
Raven clapped. “Yay. We can go out on the boat that Papa has.”
And I get to see Jessie in a bikini, at least I hoped. That thought stirred heat so far south that my cheeks had to be as red as fuck. Kelton had a mantra for warding off an erection. I had nothing, but only because I’d never had a problem controlling myself until Jessie.
Thankfully, Raven spoke, dousing the flames burning my body. “You can meet my mommy and daddy.”
Jessie and Roxanne giggled, along with Raven.
Dad angled his head. “Jessie, is your last name Ryan, by any chance?”
Jessie nodded, and a stray hair fell forward. I started in her direction on the impulse to feel her silky strands in between my fingers until my dad spoke.
“I heard your mom passed,” he said. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Jessie stiffened, as did Roxanne, who was now crossing the room to stand beside her friend.
“How do you know my mom?” Surprise laced Jessie’s tone.
My own mom had a curious expression. I did as well, but not because I was wondering how her mom died. I was more interested in how my dad knew her mom.
My dad crossed one leg over the other. “I met her in church, and we would talk afterwards. She came to see me a couple of times.”
“My husband is a psychiatrist,” Mom said in reaction to Jessie’s eyes opening wide.
Jessie’s body deflated. “Oh. I didn’t know she’d seen a psychiatrist.”
The room fell silent.
I wondered if her mom was the reason Jessie had been crying in the cafeteria. I had the sudden urge to wrap my arms around her and tell her she wasn’t alone. But Raven decided to get comfortable in my arms and rested her head on my shoulder.
“Does your family still own that mechanic shop in town?” Dad asked.
Jessie clasped her hands in front of her, almost squeezing them together as her expression turned somber. “Yes, sir. We work mostly on motorcycle engines now.”
My muscles instantly went rigid as though I’d become a statue at the mere mention of the word ‘motorcycle,’ which made me think of Mandy. “What types?” I knew some shops specialized in certain models. Mandy had had a Yamaha, and she’d always bragged about a guy in town who was an expert with fast bikes.
Jessie’s face brightened. “Racing bikes, mostly, although my brother and I can work on Harleys too.”
My dad perked up. “I love Harleys.”
It was my turn to scrunch my face. “Since when?” He’d never talked about motorcycles. He did, however, restore old cars, although he hadn’t dabbled in that since my mom had moved back home from the mental health facility.
“I used to have one in college,” Dad said.
My mom gave him a loving look. “We enjoyed riding.”
My dad reached out to grab my mom’s hand.
The word we made me drop my jaw. “You like to ride too?” I slanted my head at Mom.
“I loved it,” my mom said, eyeing Dad as though she was ready to go riding right then.
Raven stirred in my arms. “I want a motorcycle.”
Everyone laughed except me.
“We should both get back to work,” Roxanne said. “Mrs. Maxwell, I’ll check in later, before my shift is over.” She tugged on Jessie’s hand.
“It was nice to meet you,” Jessie said. “Oh, and as far as Sunday, what time and where?”
Dad pushed to his feet. “Around noon, and our address is listed in my wife’s medical paperwork I filled out earlier.” He crossed the room to Jessie, pulling out a business card from his wallet. “Again, I’m so sorry for your loss, and I didn’t mean to throw you off guard.” He handed her his card. “If you ever need to talk, give me a call.”
Her throat worked. “Thank you.” Then she followed Roxanne out.
Once the door was closed, I found a spot at the end of the bed and set Raven down. “Nana needs her rest, so no cuddling up to her.”
“She’s fine,” Mom said. “Come sit with me.” She patted a spot on her right. “You look sleepy.”
Raven crawled up to my mom and snuggled into her as my mom draped an arm around her.
I had so many questions for my dad. He knew a lot about Jessie. He’d never shared his love of motorcycles with me. I was curious if that was because he knew I didn’t like them. More than that, Jessie had beamed when the topic of motorcycles came up.
A chill skittered through me. No way and no how could I get involved with a girl who rode. I’d vowed I would never do that again. In fact, as much as I loved an adrenaline rush, motorcycles weren’t my gig. I believed that anyone who rode was doomed. It wasn’t if an accident would happen, it was when, and only because of the other drivers on the road.
Regardless of my hang-up, one question stuck out. “Why did you give her your card?” My dad was extremely perceptive when it came to people’s feelings, as he should given that he was a psychiatrist. But he didn’t hand out his business card to everyone he met.
Dad sat back down. “I hear conversations at church about the Ryans. Jessie and her brother have had a hard time since their mother passed away of breast cancer.”
“And their father?” I asked.
“He died of a heart attack years back, according to her mother.”
When my dad said heart attack, I glanced at my mom. I couldn’t imagine life without her, or my dad for that matter.
My mom was rubbing Raven’s arm. “So sad.”
A loss of life was always sad.
“She’s a pretty lady,” Mom said, eyeing me. “A surgical nurse too.”
I picked at a nail, bracing myself for one of my mom’s talks about me finding a girl to settle down with. In some cases, I didn’t mind when Mom asked if I had any plans of getting married someday. I wanted a wife and lots of kids. I wanted a big home, like my mom and dad, with lots of land to roam, and I wanted to pass our family traditions down to my kids. But with Kross married, and Kade and Kelton almost to the point of marriage, the pressure on me to find someone increased. Even my brothers ribbed me every now and then.
“Now, honey,” Dad warned. “We don’t need to be fixing Kody up with anyone.”
Jessie was no doubt beautiful, but my heart wasn’t ready, and the fact that she was into motorcycles gave me reason to back away—far away. Maybe I should ditch the cookout. You know you can’t. It’s family time, the time you cherish. It wasn’t as though I had to chummy up to her. Besides, Raven would garner all her attention.
“Did you call Kade?” I asked Dad.
Mom narrowed her gaze. “Kody, you need to take a chance on someone. You can’t be single all your life. Besides, I saw the way you looked at Jessie.”
But did you see how my body stiffened when the topic of motorcycles came up?
I wasn’t about to argue with Mom, and the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint her. But I wasn’t about to be forced into something I wasn’t ready for.
“I’m not ready to settle down.” I wanted to kick-start my music career if I could get past my writer’s block that had set in recently.
“Son,” Dad said. “Kade and Kelton should be here any minute.”
Thank God we were back on the topic of my brothers. I didn’t want to get the third degree on why I wasn’t out there, looking for my future wife, or how Jessie was the right girl for me. Nevertheless, I walked around to the other side of the bed. Careful not to disturb Raven, who was now sleeping, I kissed Mom on the cheek.
“I know you want what’s best for me. I promise I won’t be single forever.”
Her eyes teared up. “I do want to see you happy.”
“Mom, I am happy. I will be even happier when the doctor tells you that your heart will be okay.”
At that moment, Kade and Kelton stalked in.
“Heart?” Kade’s voice hitched as he practically pushed me out of the way to get to Mom.
Dad raised his finger to his lips. “Shh.” He flicked his chin at Raven. “I didn’t want to tell you on the phone, only for you two to speed down the highway and get into an accident.”
“You said she was fine.” Kelton spoke low.
Both my brothers appeared shaken. I was glad Dad had called them instead of me. Otherwise, I would’ve spilled my guts. Then who knew what the outcome would’ve been. If I had upset them, they could’ve gotten into an accident on their way here.
“I am,” Mom said.
Kade leaned down and kissed Mom on the forehead. Big brother, Kade, always the protector, worrier, and father figure. “But you’re going to be okay?” Kade ran a hand through his honey-brown hair.
Mom glanced up at him with so much love pouring off her. “Of course. The doctor is going to run some tests in the morning since the EKG showed some abnormalities. He thinks I might have angina, where one of my arteries around my heart has narrowed. But he’ll know more in the morning. The good news is once they gave me a blood thinner, the pain subsided.”
“If it’s the stable angina, then it’s manageable,” Dad said. “But honey, you do have to exercise more.”
Mom glanced down at Raven. “I was. I was playing tag with her down by the lake when I started having pains.”
“Mom,” Kelton said. “Regular exercise, like walking more.”
My mom wasn’t one for running or exerting herself, but it was good to know that she wasn’t in any pain at the moment.
Kade visibly relaxed, grabbing my mom’s other hand. “Kody, are you coming to Boston this weekend?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to? I’m helping Mr. Robinson out at The Cave on Saturday with open-mic night.”
“No. I want to make sure you’re home to watch over Raven while Mom recovers,” Kade said.
“Who’s the father in this room?” I asked teasingly.
Everyone laughed except Kade, who was sporting a serious expression.
“I’ll be home,” my dad said in a tone that implied hey, what about me? “Plus, Kross and Ruby fly in on Saturday evening.”
“I thought you had a conference,” Kade said.
“Next weekend,” Dad replied.
Kelton sidled up to Kade. “Chill, bro. I’ll come home on Friday since Lizzie is working on Friday night. Then she can head down with you on Sunday for our family cookout.”
My mom beamed from ear to ear. “I would love that. Kade, why don’t you and Lacey plan on coming home next Friday while your dad’s away?”
“It might just be me,” Kade said. “Lacey has finals.”
Regardless, the color was returning to my mom’s face, and all of us in the room let out a sigh of relief. Life was okay for the moment.
Chapter Four
Jessie
The Counting Crows crooned from the portable stereo on the shop bench along the side wall, where I kept all my tools. I sang as I worked on the Ducati Monster, a sweet motorcycle that could top speeds of 128 miles per hour. I itched to take it out and feel the wind in my face. There was nothing more energizing than a ride at eighty to ninety miles per hour on the open road.
My brother, Lowell, came up to me in his high-powered wheelchair. “I’m sick of that song.”
I rolled my eyes. “Who pissed in your Wheaties?” I snatched the towel that hung on the leather seat.
He pursed his lips together, narrowing his dark-brown eyes at me. “Did you work on Bidwell’s bike yet?”
I wiped my hands on the towel, tipping my head at the ancient Yamaha. “It’s done. Why? Is the guy upset? He just brought it in two days ago, and we told him we would have it ready on Monday.”
He threaded dirty fingernails through his wild brown curls as he hunched into himself.
“What’s going on?”
My brother’s middle name could be worrywart. He constantly agonized over finances, the shop, me, the house, and even himself. He couldn’t do much since his racing accident at the age of nineteen had left him paralyzed from the waist down. But the house and shop had been modified for a handicapped person, so he could get around easily.
His right hand shook. “Business sucks. That’s all.”
I’d never seen him so agitated, and the nurse in me immediately started rifling through all the medical conditions associated with a neurological disease.
“It has all winter,” I said. Normally the winter months didn’t bode well for tuning up motorcycles. “We should get busier with the warmer weather. Unless something else is on your mind.”
I knew from discussions with Lowell that he felt awful because he couldn’t work since jobs were limited for him. Sure, he could probably get an office job, but he wouldn’t. He’d sworn after our dad died that he would do everything he could to continue our dad’s dream. Plus, Lowell loved working on cars, motorcycles, and any engine, for that matter. But he’d been in a wheelchair for over eleven years, so I would guess his anxiety didn’t stem from the fact that he couldn’t work.
He had a faraway look in his eyes. “I’m good.”
“Maybe we should consider hiring someone. Motorcycle season is heating up.” I was at the point that I was exhausted, and with my recent DNA results, my head wasn’t on straight, although tinkering with engines or working in the shop was an escape for me.
He gripped the arms of his wheelchair. “How am I supposed to pay them?” His tone could cut ice.
I folded my arms over my chest. “I know money’s tight. I get the sense something else is going on, though.” Maybe he was thinking about our mom. She’d died in the spring four years ago—June to be exact—and we were approaching her anniversary.
He glanced out the bay door. The late-afternoon sun cast a shadow across the driveway.
I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Are you thinking of Mom?” A pain clutched my chest. We both missed her dearly. I held back tears as I thought of how she would walk into the shop with lemonade and sandwiches while Lowell and I worked and sang. Even when she had slowly been withering away, she’d kept an upbeat attitude.
“Lowell, talk to me. Why is your hand shaking?” I twisted the towel in my hand as though it was laden with water. I’d seen my fair share of patients with different conditions that could cause someone’s hands to shake.
His dark eyebrows drew down. “My hand is fine.” He held out his arm. “See? Steady.”
Maybe I was imagining things. For three nights, since I’d gotten the news I carried the mutated BRCA1 gene, sleep had escaped me.
Lowell feigned a smile. “You worry too much, sis.”
Like brother, like sister. But I stressed over him more than anything. Lowell had been in and out of doctors’ offices and physical therapy, and he had been depressed for years. He’d been seeing a psychiatrist in town, who had helped his state of mind.
“Lowell, I love you. If anything happened to you, I don’t know what I would do. You’re the only family I have left.” In his past depressed state, he’d always said he wasn’t suicidal. My mom had asked point-blank if he had been. His answer had always been a quick no. I wasn’t exactly worried about him taking his own life as much as I was worried about his physical state. Stress could certainly land a person in the hospital.
I had contemplated telling him about my DNA test, but I knew my brother, and he would ask a million questions I didn’t have the answers to yet. My gynecologist had recommended I speak with a genetic counselor, who would explain the facts and my options. I’d made an appointment for Monday. Regardless, I had to come to terms with what I was facing. Until I did, I wasn’t tellin
g my brother, especially since something was bothering him.
Lowell’s large, warm hand covered mine. “Now I should ask you what’s wrong.”
I shook off the chills, feigning a smile. “We’re just in great shape today, aren’t we?”
He chuckled, a sound I loved hearing from my brother since he didn’t laugh much. I couldn’t help but laugh with him.
I slung the towel over the bike’s handlebars. “Did you know that before Mom died, she was seeing a psychiatrist?” I wasn’t surprised she’d been talking to Mr. Maxwell. However, I was miffed that she hadn’t told me. We’d talked about everything.
Lowell’s unshaven jaw twisted. “No. Was it Dr. Davis?”
“It’s not your psychiatrist, but a Mr. Maxwell.”
“The family that lives on the outskirts of Ashford?”
I nodded as I went over to the stereo to lower the volume. “I met him recently when he brought his wife into the ER.” I also met his gorgeous son, who’s popped into my mind several times in the last three days, and I can’t wait to see him at the cookout tomorrow. “Do you know Mr. Maxwell?”
He scratched his head. “I believe one of his sons dated Mandy Shear before she died in that motorcycle accident out in Lancaster about six years ago. Do you remember her? She would’ve been sixteen back then. I worked on her bike a few times. Plus, I overhear customers talk.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, Ashford was a small town, and Lowell did deal with local folks more than me. I’d been off to nursing school at eighteen, so I hadn’t been around much.
I returned to the Ducati. “You and Mack worked in the shop back then.” My brother had hired Mack, who’d been fifteen at that time, and taught him how to work on cars and motorcycles. “Where is Mack these days?” I hadn’t seen him in months.
“He’s been on the West Coast, racing. He still has a thing for you.”
I laughed. “Mack has always had his eye on me.” I’d finally given in and had sex with him last year before he left town. But back when he’d been sixteen and I’d been nineteen, it hadn’t felt right to accept his advances.
“He’s a decent guy, Jess. You two would make a great pair.”
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