“Kody,” I said in a breathy voice. “I need you inside me. Like now.”
He kissed his way down my body. “Not yet.” He slid my panties down to my ankles, and I stepped out of them. “I would rip these babies off if you didn’t have to walk back.”
I laughed as I held onto his shoulders.
He placed his large hands inside of my thighs. As though we were in sync, I widened my stance. He dropped to his knees and lifted his hooded gaze up to me. A bevy of emotions pooled in his blue depths, but one stood out above all the rest—love.
My legs began to tremble, and not from anticipation of what I knew was about to happen, but because a man had never looked at me with that much love or want or need.
Without taking his eyes off me, he slid a finger inside me. I whimpered.
Then he kissed and licked a path up one thigh then the other. His assault on me was exhilarating as he teased me, always getting close to my bundle of nerves, but never touching.
“Please, Kody. I beg of you.”
He pushed in another finger as his tongue snaked out to graze my clit. I flinched so hard, he had to steady me with his hands on the backs of my legs.
Then he did it again.
I saw stars, bright and blinding.
I snaked my hand in between us, wanting to play with myself, to get some relief, or else I was going to scream. But the man had other plans. He popped to his feet and tore out of his briefs. When he did, his erection made me whimper. I lowered myself, took him into my mouth, and sucked.
“Holy fuck, baby doll.”
I loved my pet name. I loved him. I loved everything about him. I wasn’t saying that because I was ready to climax or because I was drunk on him. I’d never felt strongly connected to someone else before. Kody stole my breath, my heart, and he had a lock on my soul.
I massaged his shaft as I took and tasted and played. He gripped the side of my head gently, playing with my ears as he moaned, a sound that sent delightful shivers all over my body. There was something about being naked amid nature that was quite erotic and freeing.
“Jess.” He said my name with pain in his voice. “We need to…”
I released his erection as I glanced up at the Maxwell god. He helped me to my feet and brought me into the tent. I didn’t have a chance to check the ground, but I didn’t care. As long as I felt his weight on top of me, I couldn’t care less if I had sticks poking me in the butt. I was pleasantly surprised when I felt something rather soft.
I giggled as I adjusted myself with him hovering over me. “A blanket.”
Before I had the chance to register the blanket, Kody made quick work of settling in then sucking on my clit. My body came off the ground as I mewled and moaned so loudly, I swore the animals would gather around us.
“That’s a beautiful sound,” he said in between licks.
I latched onto my nipples and played as I rocked into him. My breathing labored, and a fluttery sensation gripped me as Kody took me to a place far better than he had when I was with him last if that were possible.
I cried out, saying his name over and over again. He kissed me everywhere until I was a pile of mush. Then he slipped his hand underneath the blanket and produced a condom. I didn’t want him to wear one. I wanted to feel him inside me. But I wasn’t about to protest. We were in a groove, and he had the condom on in two seconds flat.
Then before I could take my next breath, he rose up and thrust inside me, hard and fast. He groaned, and his biceps bunched as he stared down at me.
“I love you, Kody,” I said.
He answered me with a thrust then a heated kiss that was wet, hot, and sloppy.
Our bodies were slippery with sweat, and the glorious friction enhanced that feeling just after an orgasm where my body shuddered and tingled.
I rocked my hips as he moved in and out, slow then fast.
He swallowed hard, breathing heavy. “I’m not going to last.” His blue eyes were clear and dark and full of so much emotion. He slid his hand in between us and found my bundle of nerves. “Again, baby doll, if you can. I want to hear my name again on those sweet lips of yours.”
I swatted his hand away and played with myself. He watched for a mere second, then out of nowhere, he rolled us over so I was on top. He shaped my hips, helping me move on him.
“I’ve been dreaming about you on top of me.” He teased his way up my waist until he was pinching my nipples.
I didn’t want to think how I would never feel the nipple sensation again if I had the surgery, which I suddenly realized, in the heat of the moment, didn’t matter. Watching him as he was on the tip of letting go was all I needed to feel a wonderful shudder throughout my entire body, and that feeling was far better than anything.
I circled my clit as I rocked against him.
He flipped us again, grabbed my butt, and pounded into me. A blinding white light flashed before I screamed his name for a second time. I was grateful we were far enough away from any humans that no one could hear us, especially his parents.
Within a second, Kody was grunting his release as sweat poured off of him and onto me. I didn’t care. I would take this man any way and any how, sweat and all.
He held me steady, locking his gaze onto mine. I squeezed around him, and he closed his eyes briefly.
“So you love me?” he asked.
“I’m all in. Afraid or not. That’s how I feel. I can’t deny it anymore.”
He rolled off me and onto his side, where he latched a leg over mine.
I was on the precipice of heaving. I suspected he felt the same. In so many words on two separate occasions, he’d practically come out and told me his real feelings. Regardless, I wasn’t looking for him to tell me he loved me just because I’d said it.
“No girl or woman since Mandy has made me feel the way you have.”
“Not even Ms. Sharp?” I teased, more out of nerves.
He rubbed my arm. “She will always have a special place in my heart, but not in the I can’t live without you sense.”
“What are you saying?”
“You’re mine, Jessie Ryan. I want you. I need you. I’m head over heels in love with you. But if you leave me, I will die a slow death.” He delivered his words with conviction.
I touched his rough jaw. “I don’t give my feelings to someone then take them back.”
“I didn’t mean leave me as in break up, although I would hunt you down if you did.”
I placed a finger on his lips. “I know you’re scared. I know you’ve struggled with Mandy’s death. I also know that you don’t like motorcycles, and that scares you beyond belief. But I know what I’m doing on a bike. I’m not going to die.” I didn’t know that for sure.
“It’s never the rider, but the other drivers,” he said. “Still, I can’t deny the way I feel for you. But I want you to know that I’m not a fan of you riding. I’m not asking you to stop. You are who you are because you love motorcycles. That was the way Mandy was too. I would never take that away from you.”
I lifted up and kissed him softly on the chin. “Thank you.” I didn’t ride all that much, anyway. I understood his fear. I believed that when my time was up, whether it was on a motorcycle or in a car or even walking across a street, then God would decide how that played out.
His fingers coasted over my breast. “Have you decided whether to have the surgery?”
I burrowed into him more. “I go back and forth. I think I’m waiting for a sign from above.”
He chuckled. “Do you want my opinion?”
I lifted my head, nodding, when inside, my stomach was giddy. Kody had said I would still be beautiful with or without breasts.
“I think you should go ahead with the surgery. Your chances of developing breast cancer will be diminished greatly, right?”
“Yeah. So you won’t run when I don’t have the real thing anymore?” I held my breath.
He threaded his fingers in mine. “I already told you that you could have a
sex-change operation and you would still be as beautiful as ever.”
“The Maxwells love hard, don’t you? I see how your father dotes on your mom and vice versa.”
“If you haven’t noticed, family is everything to us, Jess.”
Laying my head down on the pillow, I nuzzled into him as tears stung my eyes. I missed my parents. Sure, I had Lowell, but our parents had been in love just like Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell. We’d been a tight-knit family, and I wanted that in my life again.
“I have my mammogram tomorrow.”
Kody wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him if that was possible. “Do you want me to come with?”
A tear slipped out. This man was out of this world. I didn’t know how I’d gotten so lucky to meet him. I seriously had to do something special for Raven. The little girl had no idea how she’d changed my life.
“It’s just routine for them to get a baseline. I’m good. I’ll see you afterward at The Cave.”
Silence floated around us until he rolled me over. Then mammograms and surgery became a distant memory for that moment.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jessie
I sat in the imaging center, watching an episode of HGTV’s House Hunters. Well, my eyes were on the screen, but I wasn’t listening. Instead, I was reminiscing about how drastically my life had changed in the last month. Between finding out that I had a mutated BRCA1 gene and falling in love with Kody and everything in between, my head was spinning.
I had a couple of outstanding items to take care of. At the top of my agenda was to tell Lowell about my mutated BRCA1 gene, which I would do that night since my mammogram would be out of the way. I was still hesitant to tell him. I didn’t want him to end up in the hospital again like he had a couple of weeks ago. But it was time.
I also had a meeting with Mr. Robinson that afternoon. I was praying that the details of the contract would be a financial benefit for Lowell and me. If so, then Lowell wouldn’t have to lose sleep over our pile of debt, and neither would I.
The middle-aged lady across from me flipped through a magazine.
I went to check the time on my phone, when shoes clicked along the floor. I turned to find Roxanne hurrying over.
She dropped into the empty wooden chair next to me. “I’m sorry I’m late.” She removed her hospital badge and dumped it in her purse.
“I told you that you didn’t have to come. The test is just routine. It’s not like they’re going to find anything.”
She pursed her lips. “Pfft. I know you. Baseline or not, you’re freaking out. I want to be here for you.”
I reached over and squeezed her hand. Maybe I was nervous. On the surface, I hadn’t felt anything out of the ordinary when I’d examined myself that morning. But stranger things had happened. “Thank you.” She was such a great friend. “I’m freaking out more about Kody and me.” I hadn’t had time to tell her about my rendezvous with Kody in the tent the day before since she had been working all day.
She raised a thin brown eyebrow. “I’m listening.”
My cheeks heated. “He loves me. He told me last night.”
“Shut the front door. Seriously? Wait. Why are you freaking out? You love him too. Right?”
“Yes. Very much. He knows that too. I guess the last month has been a whirlwind, and I’m excited and scared at the same time. Kody thinks I should have the surgery. Yet in the back of my mind, I keep thinking that he’ll run.”
“That man will not run.”
A large part of me agreed with her. I couldn’t help but replay the conversation I’d had with Linda Harold and how her boyfriend had left her. I knew it was crazy to think that way since Kody had never given me any indication he would run. Nevertheless, I couldn’t let him or anyone influence my decision. Not only that, I had to believe that if he did truly love me, he would stick by me no matter what.
“Enough about me. Have you connected with Hunt?” After they’d talked most of the night at Rumors, they had agreed to chat by phone. With my busy schedule and Roxanne’s, we hadn’t spoken much.
“He’s taking me to dinner when he gets back from his business trip in a couple of weeks,” she said with so much giddiness in her voice.
I squealed as quietly as I could, when a lady in pink scrub pants and a pink-and-blue-flowered top came out of a door across from me. “Jessie Ryan.” She glanced at the middle-aged lady then over to Roxanne and me.
I raised my hand as I stood. Roxanne came with me, and we followed the nurse into a quaint area with lockers on one wall.
She gestured to the changing rooms. “Gown is on the bench. Everything above the waist comes off. You can lock up your belongings in the lockers. Then have a seat in the waiting area around the corner.” Then she disappeared.
“I’ll find us a seat,” Roxanne said.
As I closed the door to undress, my phone buzzed. I glanced at the text from Kody. Did you have the exam? Is everything good?
Just going in. See you at the Cave at five, I texted back.
He sent several heart emojis with the words “love you.”
My heart soared. It was too surreal that I was in love. I hadn’t been in love since my first crush in junior high. Since then, I’d never found that special someone. I had never had time. Lowell had gotten into his accident. Then my mom had found out she had breast cancer. In between all that, I was in nursing school.
I tapped out, Love you too.
Maybe he should’ve come with me. Kody being there would’ve erased any lingering doubts I had about him running. More importantly, having him hold my hand like Roxanne would’ve eased my nerves even more.
I slipped my phone into my purse and changed. Once my clothes and belongings were locked up, I made my way over to Roxanne. The waiting area had a warm atmosphere with the soft glow of a table lamp and classical music spilling out of overhead speakers.
Roxanne was thumbing through the pages of a People Magazine.
I’d barely sat down, when a lady called my name. Roxanne squeezed my hand before I followed the Latina radiologist into a cold and sterile room.
She waved her hand to a chair beside a desk. “I’m Luna. I’m going to ask you a few questions. Then we’ll get started. Okay?”
I eased down into the chair while she asked me to confirm my name and date of birth. After I did, she asked, “This is your first time?”
“Yes, ma’am. I tested positive for the BRCA1 gene, and my doctor wants me to have the tests done for a baseline.”
She nodded her dark shiny hair. “Let’s get started. I’ll have you stand facing the machine here.” She went over to the large x-ray machine. “Slip the gown off your right shoulder.”
My mom had told me mammograms were sometimes uncomfortable. I did as Luna instructed. When she mashed one of my breasts in between the pads of the machine, I winced. Mom had been right. The sensation was weird and definitely uncomfortable.
“Hold your breath and stay still,” Luna said from behind me. After a couple of clicking sounds, the machine moved, unhinging my breast. Not as painful as I’d imagined.
After she took x-rays from several angles, she switched to my other breast and did the same. The process didn’t take but fifteen minutes at most.
Tying my gown, I asked, “Does everything look okay?”
She fiddled with her computer screen. “The doctor will look over the films. Have a seat back in the waiting area.”
I knew she couldn’t tell me. It was against policy for any technician to disclose the results. But I figured I would ask.
Roxanne looked up when I walked out. “Well, is it painful like we hear from our older lady colleagues at the hospital?”
I cinched my gown at my cleavage. “Not really. She wants me to wait here. The doctor is looking over the x-rays.” Standard protocol, and even though the imaging center had a policy that all patients would leave knowing their test results, I couldn’t help but bite a nail.
Roxanne closed her ma
gazine. “I want to hear about your night with Kody.”
“I should tell you first about Mack.”
Her jaw stiffened. “Please tell me he and Kody did not tear each other’s throats out.”
“Almost. But Mr. Maxwell was there when Mack and I showed up at the Maxwell house for Mack to get his Harley. Things got tense, and to make a long story short, Mr. Maxwell intervened. I’m not sure, though, if they worked out their differences.” I hadn’t asked Kody, mainly because I didn’t want to ruin our time together. On the other side, I hadn’t seen Mack to ask him if things were good between him and Kody, although Lowell had said to not push the issue. Mack and Kody had talked, but it wasn’t as though they would be friends. As long as they didn’t kill each other, then in my book, they’d made progress.
I gnawed on another nail. “You and Hunt and dinner?”
She blew out a dreamy sigh. “Two weeks is going to be a long time.”
My heart warmed at how my best friend seemed so high on life. For so long, she and I had put all our time and effort into school and working. We’d rarely found the time to enjoy ourselves or made an effort to put ourselves out there.
The handle of the door clicked, and Luna came out. “Jessie, can you come with me?” Her tone was even, giving me no indication of my test results.
Roxanne and I swapped smiles even though I was silently praying for good news. You have nothing to worry about. You check your breasts in the mornings, and you haven’t found any lumps.
I followed Luna back into the same room I’d been in for x-rays, repeating over and over again, No lumps. No lumps. No lumps.
“The doctor would like to do a breast ultrasound. We found a suspicious area in your left breast.”
I swayed on my feet as I started running my fingers over my breast. “But I check myself constantly.”
Luna regarded me, her dark eyes holding no emotion. “You have dense breast tissue. So sometimes, it’s hard to tell what’s going on. The area in question is small. The ultrasound will give us better insight.”
Tears stung my eyes. “My mom died of breast cancer. Please don’t find anything. I’m way too young.”
The Maxwell Series Boxed Set - Books 4-6 Page 51