Razor stands up from his seat and takes his beer with him, “Don’t get drunk and make a mistake, ‘cause I’m hittin’ the hay. Fuckin’ exhausted after today, but you have a good night now, Shiloh.” Razor shoots me the brightest smile I’ve ever seen from him since he’s been here and I’m caught grinning back.
“Thank you, and you too.”
Razor starts to walk away from me, but he stops mid-track and ends up coming back over to me. He leans his elbows onto the bar and gets a bit closer to me. “Now, I’m not normally the type who meddles in other people’s business, but I am gonna be that type of man today. I hear shit, especially from the ladies. They love to gossip, and everyone says you and Hammer got somethin’, but they also told me somethin’ is goin’ on between you two, some tension or shit. I don’t know the man well, but what I do know is he’s a stand-up guy. Sure, a little hot-headed, but I’m confident he digs you more than he admits. Now, I don’t know what he did, but give ‘em another shot. I think the guy deserves it.”
I don’t say a thing to Razor, but I listened to every word he says.
“Now, have a good night, and this time I’ll leave you alone.” He walks off and disappears up the stairwell to where the rooms are.
I’m left alone for a good couple of minutes before I finish off my drink and go to the fridge to grab another one. By the time I’m back with another drink in hand, Hammer’s sitting next to where I was. Instead of avoiding him, I walk right on up and sit back down in my seat.
I turn and suck in a deep breath, handing him my drink. “Mind opening this for me?” It’s a twist-off cap, and I sure as hell know how to do it, but it’s the perfect introduction for us to strike up a conversation.
He nods and takes my drink in his hand, wraps his palm around the top of the bottle and removes the cap like it was nothing, then hands the drink back over to me. I grab it and offer him a kind smile. “Thank you.”
Instead of smiling back at me, he mutters his reply quietly, “No problem.”
A few minutes of silence pass between us before I find the need to grab onto his hand and pull him into some conversation. “What’s going on?”
Hammer groans and puts his hand over his forehead, not saying a damn thing, and with every moment of silence, worry fills me. My mouth goes dry and my neck goes stiff. “You hear Razor and I caught some dealer out in town today, selling product?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Yeah, well, he was trying to sell to this eighteen-year-old girl, and I thought, wow, she looks so much like Jada. Like the same sort of facial structure, it was just weirding me out, but I didn’t think anything of it. Well, long story short, the girl dropped the fact I’m her father. And I mean, Shi, she looks just like my sister. I . . . I called Zane and let him know about the dealer, but I went out to dinner with the girl. Her name’s Oakleigh, and she told me her life story. The kicker here, she . . . she could be my kid. She told me her mom’s name and I . . . I did fuck her mom back in my senior year of high school. Like a lot, we were prom dates and everything. Her mom put her up for adoption. It was one of them open adoptions, but she was returned and put back into the system. She’ll be phasing out of the system soon and she was on a quest to find me, apparently. Did some research on me, found out where I grew up. I don’t think she was trying to find me the way she did, but . . . she did . . . and she’s staying with the Vixens at their house tonight. Bambi said she’d keep an eye out for her, and Madame said she’d watch her like a hawk and make sure she’s alright.”
I might be a bitch for saying this, but any woman would ask it. “Are you sure she’s yours?”
He shakes his head. “No, but I’m gonna take her to get a paternity test. If she’s mine, I’ll take care of her . . . and if not . . . fuck it. I still might. She’s a kid and she needs help but given the details she told me, no way she could’ve made that shit up. She knew too many details.”
I furrow my brow and ask the million-dollar question. “Why didn’t she go to her mom, or did she?”
With one glance, I can tell the girl went to her mother, and obviously, it wasn’t a good visit. “Her mother hasn’t spoken to her since she was thirteen when she begged her to take her. She’d been in contact with her through the open adoption, but when CPS got involved again, it’s like she didn’t want to communicate anymore.”
“What a twat,” I grumble.
“You’re telling me,” Hammer takes a swig of his drink, or so I think. He downs it like it’s water, not that I can blame him right now.
“I’m so sorry.”
“If she is my kid, her mom never told me shit, Shi. It’s not okay. It’s not . . . and I could’ve made some sorta difference. Dads get shit on all the time for not bein’ involved in their kids’ lives, and here I could’ve had a kid without even knowing.” Hammer shakes his head, obviously upset by this entire thing.
I take his hand and squeeze it, wanting him to know I’m here for him. If she’s his kid, if she isn’t. Regardless, emotionally he’s gonna be going through it.
“I’m sorry for all the shit goin’ on between us, for what I did with Ruby and Zorro. Shit was stupid and I was pissed, and now here we are, and . . . fuck,” Hammer mutters out, shaking his head.
“What?” I urge him to keep speaking.
“I don’t wanna fuck this up, what we have here, what this is,” he holds our hands up, looking down to our clasped hands and then into my eyes. “As much as we try to fight it, we do have somethin’, Shi.”
He’s right. We do have something. Little does he know just how fucked in the head I am from my past. He knows parts of me, but Hammer doesn’t know everything, and I’m terrified to pull down the curtain.
I’m afraid he’ll run out of my life like everyone else has.
Chapter Seven
Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong
~ Leo Buscaglia
Hammer
“How the fuck does something like this happen?!” Zane roars in the room where we hold church, nostrils flaring, furious at the stupidity of Bama. He didn’t tie the restraints on Donnie tight enough and the fucker got loose. Hell, he cut Gears lose too, but much to our surprise, Gears didn’t go anywhere. He said he didn’t leave because the second he leaves this clubhouse, he’s dead now, and he knows it, how Boomer’s men are going to be hunting him like a rare beast.
Bama’s in the room, which is unusual, but the kid’s getting rammed by Zane right now. “I’m so sorry, Prez. It won’t happen again. It shouldn’t have happened. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You’re damn right you should be! You know where we found Donnie this morning?!” Zane’s voice grows louder and louder. Hell, he’s probably makin’ Bama shit himself right about now.
“No, Prez. I don’t.”
“Shot in the back of the head, execution-style in downtown Billings. We only got a little bit of information from him and now we can’t get anything else. Fuck. Now we’re nowhere!” Zane slams his hand down on the table. His face is turning red and I’m sure if he doesn’t take a second to breathe, he’s going to stroke out.
“I’m so sorry. What can I do? What can I do to repay this?” Bama asks like any decent person would.
Zane looks to Bama and glares with all his might. “You can get the fuck out of this room before I wrap my hands around your scrawny chicken neck.”
Bama does as Zane orders and rushes out of the room, lucky he even left with his life.
“We all know the General’s dead. No way this is the same guy,” Bull speaks up first, making his thoughts known.
“Bull is right. This has got to be some sort of copycat,” Tex is the next one speaking.
Zane nods, listening to both of the brothers. “I know. It has to be some sort of copycat. There’s no one else it could be.”
Now, I’ve never gone up against Zane, but I don’t agree with what he’s just said and I’m not going to shy away from it. “Prez, the logo was exac
tly the same. No one was trying to copy him, trust me. Do you see the small imperfection in the logo across the middle? That was on the General’s supply before, and it’s on it now, which means it’s the same stamp . . . and you know what that means.”
We all heard rumors the General was never in charge, but it was the Commander. The one calling the shots on the streets was the General, but there was a man above him. That’s who I believe is behind this shit. Who else would be going around using the same stamp? Donnie had been dealin’ in Billings for years now and he always dealt the General’s shit, so why the fuck would he deal for a copycat? Easy. He wasn’t.
“I get what you’re suggesting, but we don’t have proof. I don’t do shit unless we have facts, not assumptions,” Zane states.
“I know you don’t, so why don’t I go and find some hard proof this is legit?” One of the perks of knowing Zane this long is knowing how the guy operates. I can usually avoid getting into confrontations with him because of it.
“Fine, but Razor’s gonna help you. He has a bit to prove to me if he wants to end up bein’ the VP down at Amara’s charter.
I nod, perfectly fine with what Zane’s said. “Sounds good. I’ll get started on some stuff later.”
“Good. Now that this is out of the way, Zorro, I want you to come down to the barn with me in a bit. Need to figure out what Gears knows,” Zorro smiles devilishly at Zane’s order. The man is as fucked up as us all, but he loves him some fresh blood.
Zane ends church and we all go our separate ways, but before I head out with Razor, I need to go off with Oakleigh to the small lab in town. I got us an appointment in forty-five minutes to see if she’s my daughter. I’m sure the results won’t be instantaneous, but at least it’s one step in the right direction.
The fact of the matter is this young woman could very well be my daughter, and with everything going on with my dad right now . . . I don’t think discovering we have more family could be a bad thing. This could be a huge blessing in disguise, and Shi helped me realize that last night. I ended up taking her back to my bedroom, but we didn’t do jack shit. I just fuckin’ held her against my body until I fell asleep. I know one thing for sure—my bed will never be the same again.
Chapter Eight
Strength doesn’t come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.
~ Nikki Rogers
Shiloh
Ashley came home from the hospital yesterday and Rory looks just like Blackjack. She has the darkest hair like it was plucked straight from a raven. She even has her father’s eyes, and while Fist and Noelle are obviously her siblings, too, I think Blackjack’s features are all over this little one.
Ashley has her bassinet in the club next to the booth while we drink some coffee and catch up. Since yesterday her Aunt Roxy and cousins have been down her throat. I wouldn’t say they’ve been bothering her, but they’re definitely making sure they catch up. I can’t blame her Aunt Roxy, though. She’s the last piece of Ashley’s dad that’s still alive, besides Fist, since she named him after her deceased dad.
All the Vixens wanted to chat with her and see the baby, so I waited patiently and finally, everyone is getting used to Rory being here. We all love babies, even some of the guys. If anyone puts a baby near Zorro, his eyes light up like a damn Christmas tree and Bull too.
“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you a favor if that’s okay?” Ashley looks at me with pleading eyes.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Dex is graduating in two weeks and I desperately need help throwing a party together for him. Being pregnant threw me off track and I’m just . . . I’m slacking. I need help,” Ashley says.
“You need help with what? I can pitch in. My classes are super easy right now.” Sydney, or Syd, as we call her, halts as she walks past where we’re sitting.
“Dex’s graduation party, but I don’t want your dad reeling into me. When are your finals?” Ashley goes into mom mode with her niece.
“End of the month, but don’t worry about them. I have straight A’s right now and we all know I’m great when it comes to taking tests,” Sydney tells us, eyes not wavering from Ashley.
Ashley doesn’t seem convinced, though. “I don’t want Zane getting mad at me.”
“He’s my dad. I can handle him.” At Sydney’s words, both Ashley and I break out with a huge smile. Sydney started calling Zane her dad not too long ago, but every time I hear her refer to him as her father, my heart swells to triple the size. Everyone knows Sydney’s story is a complicated one, and while she’s never had a normal life, one thing I can say is she’s always had so much love surrounding her.
I would’ve killed to grow up in a situation like hers. I’m sure some people would call me a monster for wishing for it, but until they’ve been in my shoes, they don’t have any right to judge.
“Fine, but if he comes after me, I’m throwing you under the bus,” Ashley laughs, motioning with her hand for Sydney to join us. Sydney slides in beside me and looks in awe at Rory.
“God, she’s so beautiful.”
“She is, but don’t think I’m not pissed. I basically gave birth to a female replica of Blackjack. I mean, she couldn’t even have my eyes? All the work I did and nothing!” I bust out into laughter at Ashley’s words and even Sydney cracks a few laughs, but thankfully neither of us stir the sleeping baby.
For the next couple of hours, we create the perfect graduation party for Dex, one I’m sure Ashley will be losing her mind over. Dex might not be her biological son, but you’d never know it. She loves him so damn much, and the second he rushes off to college this summer, she’s going to be a mess. Hell, she’s gonna be a mess at his graduation party, too, because it’s all one big confirmation he’s grown up and he’ll be leaving.
We planned a barbeque here at the clubhouse and Ashley suggested we invite some of the higher-up members from the Satan’s Raiders MC, Sons of Gods MC, Devil’s Riot MC, Iron Vex MC, Skulls Renegade MC, and the Inferno’s Clutch MC. We’re on good terms with all of them, considering we have solidified alliances with every single one of them, or the club’s currently working on getting an alliance official. I think the only ones the club’s a little unsure about is the Inferno’s Clutch, but from what I’ve heard, it’s only because Zane doesn’t know their club too well. Word on the street is that Reed, the Prez of the Skulls Renegade MC out in Tennessee, has dealt with the Inferno’s Clutch MC quite a bit and he put in a good word for their Prez.
While we only have a couple of weeks before we throw this big shindig, it’s going to be one of the best parties we’ve ever had here. I just have a feeling.
Sydney takes her leave and says she has some studying to do for her AP English class, so we say our goodbyes and Ashley leaves me shortly after. She’d had the baby out here for a few hours and wants to get back home to where Dex is watching Noelle and Fist. Goodness, when he leaves, she’s going to be so short-handed in their house. I’m sure Jordyn and Nova will step up, but who knows. Regardless, Ashley will have as much help as she needs.
The night Hammer and I chatted at the bar, he told me about a girl he believed was his daughter and ended up telling me he got a paternity test done with her. She’s been staying in the Vixens’ house and a few of the ladies there are taking her under their wing.
She’s a gorgeous girl, with a light mocha skin color and long black and purple braids. She’s probably a foot shorter than Hammer, but from what I’ve observed already, I’d say she’s a spitfire. The girl has sass and I like that about her.
I slide out of the booth and look down at my cell, seeing three missed texts. I tap on my text icon and my heart sinks into my stomach.
From: Mom
Remember what I said. I’ll do it.
When will you be here? We have a job to do.
Don’t make me hurt them!
She’s the type who would take it out on innocent people, too. As a kid, I didn’t realize how corru
pt she is, but as an adult, I saw it very clearly. She’s a different type of evil, but it makes sense how she ended up with a man like my stepfather.
I shake my head and stick my phone in the back pocket of my jeans before heading over to the kitchen. I need a tall glass of ice water to calm my nerves, that’s for sure. Only, upon turning the corner, I run straight into the one man I’ve been kind of avoiding the last day—Hammer.
Why am I avoiding him?
Well, things feel off between us.
I slept in his bed the other night after we hadn’t spoken for ages and now things are even more awkward. We stare at each other from across the room and I think we’re both caught wondering what we do now. I can say without a doubt I’ve had far too many thoughts about him in . . . less than heated circumstances.
Yet the way his eyes stare down into mine causes my heart to beat ten times faster, my palms to go sweaty, and for me to become a complete idiot.
“Hey,” his tone comes out smooth and nurturing, and with one word, I know I’m in for it.
My heart’s pulling me closer to him and I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself.
Part of me wants to give in, but then I remind myself Hammer doesn’t know about my past. About the things that’ve shaped me into the woman, I am today. I never planned on telling anyone, but if there was ever anyone I’d share the skeletons in my closet with, it’d be him.
Chapter Nine
Find someone who knows how to calm your storms
~ Bliss
Hammer
“Hey there yourself,” she replies, quickly averting her eyes to look at the ground.
Hammer (Reapers Rejects MC Book 18) Page 4