Dangerous Hilarity

by Sioux Dallas

  Chapter Nine

  Anna was driving as they headed north toward Utah. In northern Arizona there were signs saying, “dust blowing area.” The wind whipped the red dust around and across the road until Anna was forced to drive so slowly she almost stopped in places. Visibility was limited.

  All of them exclaimed in sorrow to see the skinny, hungry horses with all ribs showing as they staggered beside the open road. There were even starved sheep and goats. There was no grass to eat and no water where they were. The twins hoped someone owned the animals and would take care of them. Irene reminded them that the people were also poor and most of them didn’t get enough to eat. The animals were either turned loose to fend for themselves or had been abandoned.

  Tom tried to take their minds off the sadness by reading aloud from the Arizona tour book. “Aw, we can’t go through Flagstaff. It says that Flagstaff got its name from a flagpole made from a Ponderosa Pine. In 1876 a group of people stripped the branches from a pine that was growing beside the trail. It remained as a landmark for wagon trains traveling to California. The fort built here became known as Flagstaff. In time a town developed and was given the same name. Boy! That’s interesting.”

  Galena became worried again because she could not understand why her humans were so quiet and seemed so sad. She moved from person to person whining and licking any face she could reach.

  Irene finally chuckled. “Everyone, including me, lighten up. We’re worrying Galena.”

  The temptation was too much for Tim. He picked up the Utah tour book and read aloud. “Hey, listen. In Marysville, Utah is the Big Rock Candy Mountain. I always thought that was just a cute song Burl Ives sang, but it’s true. Wow! There’s even a lemonade spring.”

  “Will we be there?” Tom asked hesitantly.

  After a moment of silence Irene answered, “I think we might be able to stop.” Looking at the Utah map she said, “Yes, we’ll be near there in time for a late lunch.”

  “Hurray!” both boys exploded.

  The family was in awe of the scenery. “My goodness,” Irene observed, “the rocks do look like giant pieces of candy. It must be different chemicals in the rocks that show various colors when the water settles in them. Let’s try the lemonade spring. I’m ready for a cool drink.”

  They paid for their cups in the gift shop and hurried out to try the lemonade in the spring. “May I buy a bag of that real rock candy to take to dad?” Tom asked almost shyly.

  “Of course, Tom. That’s nice that you thought of your dad. I don’t know if he ever came here or not.” Irene said as she smiled and patted his back.

  “Yeah, suck up to dad. Maybe he won’t be too mad at you for scaring us and giving mom such a hard time on the trip,” Tim sneered.

  “You’re just jealous because you didn’t think of it,” Tom shot back, “Both of you--outside this minute. I am so embarrassed that you would cause a public spectacle. Tim, I’m astonished at your attitude.”

  Tim snorted and whirled around to walk toward the car beside Anna. She looked at him with a sad expression. “Tim, I love my brothers and have been truly proud to be your sister, but I don’t understand you. Both of you know that mom is under a strain being responsible for everything, and us, on this trip. Remember, she wasn’t too enthused either about the move.

  After all, dad is making the money that you gladly spend. We’re all tired and, yes, you’re probably bored most of the time, but you’re making it worse for you and for us by your attitude.”

  Anna turned to look at Tom who had caught up with them. “That goes for you, too, buddy boy. Let’s make a pact that we’ll think before we speak. We have to be together, in a small space, so let’s strive to make it easier for mom and ourselves. It doesn’t feel good to have someone we love say hurtful things or try to belittle us. Can we make an agreement to be more considerate and think before we speak?”

  The twins looked at each other and then shamefacedly nodded at Anna. “Okay. Let’s build on it.” She held out her left hand and each boy placed his left hand on the stack followed by their right hands. “Now. We have a firm agreement.” Anna grinned.

  “What’s all this?” Irene asked as she walked to them.

  “Just something we promised each other,” Anna smiled as she took Galena from the station wagon. “I’ll give Galena a break and then I’ll drive, Mom.” Galena obviously enjoyed the break. Irene privately thought the dog was better behaved and less trouble that her sons.

  On the road again, Tom began to read from the book on Idaho. “Gee, Mom. This is one of the less populated states in the west with a lot of uninhabitable land. We’d better fill the gas tank every chance we get. I’d sure hate to be stranded out in some of this wild land.”

  Continuing his silent reading, he burst out laughing. “It says the name, Idaho, comes from a Shoshone Indian word , Ed-dah-how, which means, ‘look, the sun is coming down from the mountain’. Isn’t that a hoot. Others say it really means gem of the mountain.”

  He read on silently and then spoke, “Gold was discovered in 1860 which brought the state’s population up to 15,000 people. In 1877 General O. O. Howard, with his troop, defeated the Nez Perce Indians led by Chief Joseph. In 1890, Idaho was admitted to the Union as the 43rd state. During the 1900s, Idaho had a steady increase in irrigation and hydroelectric power. Since 1951 atomic power has been produced by the National Reactor Testing Station near Arco.”

  Tim had been thinking and broke in, “Wasn’t it Chief Joseph who said, “I will fight no more forever”? We saw the movie, remember? I felt so sorry for the Indians. They sure got a dirty deal.”

  Anna and Irene looked at each other knowingly and laughed when Galena looked at the boys, gave a grunt and a deep sigh, and stretched out to fall asleep. “She’s relieved,” Anna chuckled. “There’s peace for a while.”

  Late in the afternoon, Anna drove across the border into Idaho. She had to go to Rockland where there was a gas station, restaurant and motel together. Galena was so happy to be stopped that she walked across the boys to get outside where she ran around and around the station wagon.

  Irene stretched, “Ummm. We’re all tired, so why don’t we eat soon and go to bed early. You can watch television if you’re not sleepy. At least our bodies can rest.”

  The next morning Irene drove across the border into Washington. It rained for hours, but they didn’t complain much because it had been a decent trip so far. “Why don’t we stop in Spokane for a lunch break?” she suggested.

  The rain had stopped for a while and the air was fresh and clear. “Mom, over there’s a great looking park. We can buy food and go over there for a picnic.” Tom looked at Tim. “Wouldn’t you like that?”

  “Sure,” Tim replied eagerly. “I know Galena will like it. Let me get the Frisbee and play with her. Seeing Tim take the Frisbee out of the car, Galena was wild with joy.

  “Catch her! Galena! Come back here!” Irene yelled as Galena ran across the street toward the park. A car screeched and turned sideways. An eighteen wheeler driver, following the car, blew his air horn and yelled as his truck went sliding out of control because he had to throw on his brakes. Galena came back with her tail between her legs knowing she had down something wrong. The Jackson family looked on in horror expecting to see a terrible wreck, but the truck driver was able to wrestle his truck back on the highway and stop just short of the car.

  The frightened and very angry truck driver climbed down from the cab ready to do battle. “Where in the blue blazes is that mangy mutt and who does it belong to?”

  “Mangy mutt?!” Tom shrieked stomping up in the man’s face with his chin out. Anna grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him back as Irene hurried to talk to the two drivers. Tim dropped to his knees, hugging Galena and still shaking from the fright.

  Irene was also shaken and with a catch in her voice apologized. “Oh, sir, I’m so sorry. I’m thankful no one is hurt and apparently there’s no damage. There isn’t any damage is there?
” she asked fearfully. “We’ve been traveling for over two weeks and the dog is so tired of being in the car she ----”

  “Lady! That’s no excuse for letting a dog run loose.” The driver of the car blurted pugnaciously. He then took a deep breath and ran a trembling hand through his hair. “Okay. I have three boys and two dogs, so I understand how these things can happen. I was so sure I’d be flattened by that semi.” He took another long breath. “Is the dog all right?”

  “She’s fine. Thank you, sir,” Tim answered quickly. He stood up in front of the men. “I can understand how angry you are.” He turned to the semi driver. “That’s a lot of weight to have to stop so quickly, and you probably have a load on board that could have been damaged. My mother told you the truth. We’ve traveled so long and the dog was very happy to see the park on the other side that she took off before we could catch her. Believe me, she is well trained. You noticed she came right back when she was called.”

  “She had no business being loose. Why didn’t you have a leash on her?” the driver stated.

  “There’s some people that need a leash more than this dog does.” Tom looked as if he would gladly do battle.

  “Tom!” Irene spoke firmly. “It was our fault and I’m truly sorry. “Is your truck okay?” she looked appealingly at the truck driver.

  “Yeah, I guess,” he answered gruffly. “I almost jack-knifed and it scared the -- uh -- it scared me.” He turned to the car driver. “Can you pull out and give me room to straighten out?”

  “Certainly,” the man replied and hurried to his car. He turned to the Jacksons. “I hope your family has a pleasant and a safe trip.” He got in his car and maneuvered around until he straightened and left with a toot of his horn.

  The truck driver walked over and looked closely at Galena. “Is she a full-blooded German Shepherd?”

  “Yes, sire,” Tim answered proudly.

  “Humph. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen. Is she trained to be an attack dog?”

  “No,” Irene said hurriedly. “She does protect us because she’s been with us all her life. She would only be vicious if one of us were to be threatened and she felt she was needed to protect one of us.”

  The truck driver grunted. “She’s a beautiful dog, and so big,” he said again. “I sure would love to have one like her to travel in the cab with me.”

  “Sorry,” Anna giggled, “the mold was broken when she was born, and she’ll be with us as long as she lives.” the man shook his head and walked to his truck. It took a lot of pulling forward, backing and turning to get his cab and trailer straightened to drive. He blew his air horn at them as he left.

  “He’d better get out of here while the getting’s good,” Tom snarled.

  “Tom! When are you going to learn to control your temper?” Irene spoke sharply. “You could have gotten us in serious trouble if you had angered those men enough to call the police on us. It was Galena’s fault and we should have had her on a leash. It’s the fault of all of us. Now get a leash on her. We’ll get our food and cross in safety together to the park. Those beautiful shade trees are calling to me. I can hardly wait to get my shoes off and walk in that lovely grass.”

  Irene walked to a nearby fast-food counter to place their order. “I would like four deluxe cheeseburgers, two plain cheeseburgers, four orders of fries, two chocolate milk shakes, one strawberry and one vanilla shake. The vanilla one made with butter pecan ice cream, please.” She paid and joined her family. Tim helped carry the food while Tom took Galena. They carefully crossed the street and found a table with benches under a huge shade tree.

  “Here, boys. Give Galena the two plain cheeseburgers. It really isn’t good for her, but I’m sure she’ll appreciate a change from her usual dog food. We mustn’t feed her like this too often though. We leave in one hour. Don’t wander off and get into trouble or get lost.”

  The twins hurriedly ate their food and grabbed the Frisbee, calling to Galena and ran farther into the park. Irene gave a contented sigh and dropped to the grass under the tree. She lay back with her head on her sweater and one arm over her eyes.

  “Umm, Mom. Thanks loads. This strawberry shake is really good and hit’s the spot.” Anna gave a last slurp and slipped down beside Irene. She smiled to see that her mother was starting to doze.

  Irene woke when the boys came yelling back to them. “Hour’s up. Whew. Galena really had a good time. She’ll be ready to settle down for sure in the car this time,” Tim smiled.

  “I’m afraid you boys are on a sugar high. I don’t know what Galena’s excuse is,” Irene laughed. “Let’s use the restroom in the restaurant and hit the trail. We mustn’t waste time.”

  Galena promptly went to sleep. The twins were soon slumped over and snoozing. Anna drove all afternoon stopping once for gas. She drove across the Canadian border into Vancouver, British Columbia. Irene had their birth certificates and all necessary papers to cross the border. They were glad to stop for dinner and the night.

  Irene sighed tiredly. “We should see dad in two days.” The twins got out of the car and turned handstands causing Galena to bark excitedly. Irene hugged Anna. “Honey, you’ve been so much help to me; a real rock that helped steady me. Thank you, darling. Your dad will be very proud of you.”

  Irene gathered her family and said, “Let’s call dad and tell him where we are. We should be in Fairbanks, Alaska day after tomorrow. I hope we can drive straight out to Nome, but we might have to stay another night and leave the next day.”

  The twins groaned and fell on the bed pretending to be sick at the stomach. They cheered up when they were allowed to speak to Herb first. Tom spoke first because he claimed to have the privilege of being the oldest---all of four minutes. Galena barked into the phone when she heard Herb’s voice and nosed all over the phone trying to find him.

  Herb was anxious to see his family. “Hey! I’m so excited. It seems like a year since I’ve seen all of you and I sure have missed you. I’ve made new friends but nothing takes the place of family. Just hurry to me safely. You’ve come this far. Don’t spoil your trip by carelessness. I love all of you and am so lonely without you.”

  They were all rejuvenated to hear Herb’s voice and know he wasn’t as far away. Galena ran to the door telling them she needed a walk. The twins took her and when she returned she gratefully sank to the carpet. She groaned when she was roused to eat her dinner. They left her eating while they went to find dinner for themselves. Anna was thrilled to practice speaking French to the waitress.

  The next morning Anna walked Galena and then left the car to be checked and filled with gas while they had breakfast. Even though they were excited at the near completion of the trip, they told Galena they understood why she was groaning. They were getting tired of climbing in and out of the wagon and sitting so long at a time.

  Anna begged to drive because she could travel over roads that were different than any she’d been on. The surface was not smooth and the road wound through forest areas where wild animals were frequently seen.

  ‘We’re stopping already for lunch?” Tom whined. “Shouldn’t we drive as far as we can?”

  “Don’t be selfish,” Tim scowled. “Mom and Anna have been doing the hard work and they deserve a break. Truthfully, I’ll be glad to get out of the car for a while.”

  Irene smiled at them and reached to ruffle Tom’s hair. “We’d better eat while we can. We don’t know what we’ll find north of here. Look for snacks to take with you.”

  When they left the wagon to walk toward the restaurant, Galena pawed at a window and howled. Tim ran back to her. “Go on in,” he called over his shoulder. “I’ll walk her a little. She might think we’re leaving her in a strange place.” Tim walked Galena, put her back in the car with a chew toy, and ran to join the family.

  All afternoon they stopped to take pictures of the gorgeous scenery, and some of the wild animals. Irene cautioned them about getting too close and maybe causing the animals to think they had
to protect themselves. They were later stopping for dinner than they had planned. Everyone crawled out of the car, stretching and yawning. For once Galena crawled out and stood quietly beside the twins. They walked her and returned to the car. As Tim put her back in the car, Tom looked around and suddenly spoke excitedly. “Look! Over there!”

  Chapter Ten

  A Royal Canadian Mounted Police rode up to them on a proudly, prancing horse. The twins ran toward him talking at once. Catching up with them, Irene apologized. “I’m sorry. We’ve always loved movies about the Mounties and love your red coats.”

  “That’s fine. My horse is well trained to deal with people and noises. Ordinarily I wouldn’t have this red uniform on. We wear brown and look much like many of your state police do. Today we had a visit from one of our superior officers and we wore the red uniform in honor of his visit. Too, we were on television and the yanks expect us to be wearing red,” he laughed.

  “Yanks?” Tom looked questioningly.

  “Americans. From the United States.”

  “Oh. I didn’t know that you don’t wear the red uniforms normally,” Tom was disappointed.

  The Mountie chuckled. “My name is Reginald Churchill, Lieutenant Churchill, but the people around here call me Officer Churchill.”

  “Sir, would you please tell me how you train to be a Mountie and how your beautiful horse is trained,” Tim pleaded.

  “It would take too long to tell all of it, so, I’ll just say we first train a lot like the military requires. Then we go through another training period of how to make an arrest without hurting the suspect more than absolutely necessary. And of course, keep ourselves safe. We even have pepper spray sprayed into our own eyes so that we can understand how a person being arrested feels and how to deal with it. It sure isn’t pleasant.”

  “How is your horse trained?” Tim asked. “We met a Park Policeman in Washington, D.C. and he told us how his horse was trained. Your horse sure is gorgeous.”

  “Gorgeous,” Tom teased. “You sound like a girl.”