Dangerous Hilarity

by Sioux Dallas

  “If I don’t take it with me, you sure can. You’re going to get a nice surprise soon, but don’t think you can get it out of me.”

  On Tuesday the twins visited Fairfax High to meet the principal, Lloyd Grissom.

  “Hello, boys. I see that I’m going to have to get well acquainted in order to tell you apart. Your transcripts are here. I’m pleased to see you’re both honor students and I sincerely hope you keep that up. Are you interested in sports? Maybe you’ll go out for basketball.”

  The twins looked at each other and grinned. “Yes, sir. We have been on both basketball and baseball teams.” Tom informed him.

  “We haven’t made hard and fast decision as to what we’ll do yet,” Tim explained. We’re waiting to see what our classes will be like and what we’ll be doing outside of school. We’re in a youth choir at church and we hope to be involved in city youth programs.”

  “That’s great. You know where my office is and if I can help you with anything, in or outside of school, don’t hesitate to talk to me. There’s going to be a lot of students eager to see you again and some who want to meet you. Some teachers are working on new teaching equipment in the library and one has been looking forward to seeing you again.”

  The twins looked puzzled and followed Mr. Grissom out of his office, down the hall and into the library.

  “My goodness! It can’t be. My boys are tall, handsome young men now.” A woman ran to hug them. The top of her head just fit under their raised arms.

  “Mrs. Berry!” the twins said as one. “What are you doing here? I planned to call you tonight and see when we could visit.” Tim reached to give their much loved sixth grade teacher another hug.

  “I’ve been like a little kid anxiously waiting to see you boys. I want to see your pictures and hear all about your great adventures.”

  “We have a video of a sled dog race that dad was in with Greatheart and he won. We’ll bring that for you to see, and you’ll swoon at the beautiful scenery.” Tom told her excitedly.

  “It also has some of the friends we made in Nome and parts of the town. It was strange at first, but we fell in love with the people and the place,” Tim added.

  “Boys, how would you like to speak in assembly one day and share with the students about your life in Alaska?” the principal asked.

  “Even confess our goofier moments?” Tim laughed.

  “Sure. I don’t know why not. We’d love to, but what do you want from us?” Tom asked.

  “Whatever you want to share with us,” the principal answered. “We’d give you about fifteen minutes following your program for the students to ask you about something that interested them.”

  “I’ll get permission to bring my class over so we can hear it, also. They’ve heard all about you through your letters. The ones that were in school with you are now here in high school,” Mrs. Berry said.

  “Oh, you’re not teaching here in high school?” Tim asked.

  “No. I just came today to learn how to work the new equipment.”

  “Good deal then. We’ll talk to you later. I sure did appreciate your letters keeping us in touch with our friends here.” Tim hugged her again.

  “I was thrilled to hear from you and so glad you had this opportunity.” she smiled giving both boys another hug.

  “As much as we’re enjoying talking to all of you, we have a job we need to get to. It costs a lot of money to furnish things we need in school and for our personal pleasure.” Tom said as the twins told everyone goodbye and left.

  On the fourth of July Herb took the family to the city park to join friends and neighbors for the celebration. Lots of young people were in the city swimming pool and some were playing soccer. Tim was running after the soccer ball when his attention was diverted to an interesting group entering the park.

  “Hey, Tim. Whereya’going?” Tom called to his twin. He looked to see where Tim was staring. A group of people, of all ages, were settling jut a few feet from where the Jackson family was sitting. Tom ran to join Tim.

  “Mom. Dad. Did you see all those dogs? Why are they here?” Tim still stared with interest.

  Herb looked around. “Humm. I didn’t see them. I bet they’re from the guide dog training school. The instructors are probably teaching the dogs to work in spite of noisy distractions. The dogs need to bond with their assigned person as long as they’re working, so don’t bother them.”

  “May we pet the dogs?” Tom asked.

  “I don’t think so,” Irene answered quickly. “You heard your dad say the dogs need to keep their attention on their assigned person.”

  A man, who seemed to be in charge of the group overheard the Jackson discussion and came over. “Excuse me. I couldn’t help but hear what you were saying. I’m John Middleton. I help train the dogs and people together so they can work safely. We have this group here today because we know there’ll be crowds, lots of young children and fireworks. The dogs are being trained to ignore noises and crowds and to take care of their person.”

  Anna, and some of the girls, had left the pool and joined them. She was curious as to what the group with the dogs was doing. “Oh,” she said with a catch in her voice, “look at that precious child in the wheelchair.”

  “Young lady, please don’t say anything where these people can hear you,” John Middleton placed a friendly hand on Anna’s arm. “We work hard to encourage them to feel good about themselves. They have enough to overcome without self-pity. We teach them that each one has a valuable contribution to make up society. They need to be strong emotionally and --”

  “Yes, Mr. Middleton. I’m sorry and I understand. I would never purposely make them feel badly about themselves or demean them. I do feel compassion, however.”

  “Of course you do. By the way,” John said turning to Herb. “Your sons show a lot of interest in the animals and your daughter seems to be naturally caring about people. Do you think they might be interested in being volunteers in our Canine Wonders? Would you object to them working with us and learning how we operate?”

  Anna broke in before her father could answer. “Would we! I would be honored to be allowed to help and I’m positive my brothers would be eager to volunteer. In fact, they’ll be a lot of help. They learned to train our wolf dog while we lived in Alaska.”

  “Really!? A wolf dog? I’d like to hear all about it sometime. Right now I need to see about my people.” He looked at Anna. “Would you like to meet Marshall and his dog? That’s the five year old in the wheelchair. Don’t let him throw you. He’s a bright little rascal. It’s sometimes difficult to remember he’s only five.”

  “I would love to meet Marshall.” As Anna walked with John to the child in the wheelchair, she saw a black Labrador lying at the boy’s feet.

  “Marshall, my man. This is your lucky day. Here’s a beautiful girl who wants to meet you.” The dog stood up and placed himself in front of Marshall.

  “Hi, John.” The boy’s small face lit with a beautiful smile. Boy! She’s be-u-ti-ful.” He dragged the word out. “My name’s Marshall and his name is Chuckles,” he pointed to the dog. His wide grin was contagious. “What’s your name?”

  “I’m Anna. I love your dog. How did he get the name, Chuckles?”

  “Cause when he was little, he’d get so excited he’d make happy sounds like he was laughing. He’s a clown, too.”

  “Well, I love his name, but how is he a clown?”

  “He won’t let me be sad. He’ll do a lot of silly things to make me laugh. He’s my bestest buddy.”

  “I can see that, but what funny things does he do?”

  “He rolls on his back and puts his paws over his nose. When he thinks he’s done something wrong, he’ll lay flat down and put his paws over his eyes. He gets my ball in his mouth and throws it up in the air and chases it. He does a lot of funny things.”

  “I think he’s a handsome dog. Is it okay if I have my lunch with you?”

  “Oh, boy, yes. Be careful though. Chuckle
s will expect you to share.”

  “I don’t mind sharing with you or Chuckles, but I must ask Mr. Middleton if it’s all right. I’m not sure I can even touch your dog because he is supposed to be helping you and guarding you.”

  “Sure you can touch him. If he didn’t have his working harness on, he’d roll on his back and beg you to rub his tummy.”

  Anna looked around. “Where is your lunch, Marshall?”

  At that moment John Middleton walked over with a plate for Marshall. “Yummy,” Marshall rubbed his stomach. “Hot dogs, potato salad, pickles, deviled eggs, tomatoes and lots of good things. John, can’t Anna have some of our lunch?”

  “She sure can. We have enough for a small army.” Marshall laughed as if it were the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

  “I tell you what. I have fried chicken, so why don’t I share a piece of chicken with you and I’ll eat one of your hot dogs.”

  “Sounds good to me. Can I have a leg?” Marshall bounced in his chair.

  “May I have a leg?” John corrected his grammar.

  “You can if Anna has enough,” Marshall said and then wondered why John and Anna laughed so hard.

  John motioned for Anna to move to one side with him. “Marshall sometimes gets choked because he has trouble swallowing. Don’t let him bite off the bone. Maybe you can tactfully offer to tear the meat off for him. After all, we are in the park and it’s difficult to get to a sink to wash sticky hands. You can make him think you’re just trying to help him keep clean. I’ll leave it up to you, but I’ll be nearby. He is my responsibility. I keep a careful eye on all of folks.”

  As Herb walked over to them, John said, “Mr. Jackson, your daughter is a wonder. You can observe what good care she is taking of young Marshall and making him feel special.”

  “It always makes a father proud to hear his child complimented. I have to take a mental step back often and remind myself that she is a mature young lady on her way to college. She’ll always be my precious little girl and my sons will be my heart’s joy, but we need to let them grow and have a chance to make their own decisions. If they don’t make mistakes, they’ll never learn how to make sensible decisions.”

  “I doubt your children will make many mistakes.”

  Herb threw his head back and laughed loudly. “I’ll have to tell you sometime what Tom has put us through, but he’s doing well now and he is growing and maturing. By the way, I’m Herb.”

  “I know what you mean. Mr. Middleton makes me feel old from someone my age. Please call me John.”

  “I’m glad so many of my children’s friends are also interested in volunteering with your group.”

  “It’s great as long as they don’t display too much sympathy. These people need to be as strong emotionally as possible. Oh, I don’t mean they’re to be ignored when they’re upset. They just don’t need to be encouraged to feel sorry for themselves.”

  “Knowing my children, and their friends, you won’t need to worry.”

  Four boys and three girls joined the group. “Mr. Middleton, may we speak with you?”

  “It’ll cost you a nickel, but I guess I can share the time,” he grinned.

  The young people grinned as Jim spoke. “I guess I’ve been chosen as spokesperson. We’ve been discussing the work you’re doing. All of us have animals and we sure like working with people. We’d like to volunteer to help any way we can, if you’ll have us. We’re friend of Tom, Tim and Anna.”

  Before John could answer, another worker, Jean Worley, faced them. “We could sure use your help. If you’re willing to bathe dogs, clean kennels, hug puppies, walk young dogs, talk to nervous people and comfort them and keep cheerful through it all, them we can use you.”

  John laughed. “I’m not sure how cheerful you’ll be after all of that, but it give one a good feeling to know you’ve helped someone from being a prisoner in a limited world and made an animal happy, also.”

  “Just give us a chance,” Jason Horn urged.

  “We don’t mind hard work,” Mark Tuttle added.

  “I have a cousin who is a Downs Syndrome child, so I’m used to having to be patient and careful with a person in need,” Miguel informed him.

  Chuckles pulled Marshall’s wheelchair to the group while Anna walked beside him. “I heard your offers to help, and I’d like to be part of that until I have to leave for college. I can work for a short time and can always work during vacations and holidays, if that’s okay.”

  “Why don’t all of you come to the school day after tomorrow and take a walking tour. You can get acquainted with some people who are finishing their training with their dog. It will give you a chance to know what will be required and you can then decide if you still want to be involved.”

  “I can pick everyone up in the van at nine and we’ll go down together,” Dede offered.

  “Mark, Jason and I will walk to the Jacksons and wait for you there,” Jim said.

  “Silly. You can ride over with me, or are sisters to be avoided unless you have boys with you?” Dede teased.

  “Kookie sis. I love you, but I want to walk with the guys and talk.”

  “Okay, it’s agreed,” Tim spoke, “we’ll leave from our house at nine. Is there a place to get lunch?” he asked John.

  Jean answered. “There’s a nice restaurant about two miles from the school, or you can bring a lunch. If you work with us, you’ll eat in the cafeteria.”

  The teens walked around telling the fifteen people that they had enjoyed meeting them and would be visiting the school. Marshall led a cheer for them.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “Attention! Attention!” Mayor Richard Warfield spoke over the sound system. “Welcome to our fourth of July celebration. It’s time for the games. Fortunately there are shade trees for spectators and for the contestants to rest without getting too hot. Grab a good spot and let Debbie and Mary explain the rules. Everyone can’t win, so I hope you’ll all be good sports.”

  “Hiya! Hiya!” Debbie called pertly as she bounced on the platform. Mary started clapping and getting everyone to join in.

  Debbie continued, “The first game is a three-legged race. Partners, come up and get your sack, then go to the starting line and prepare to race. The men will race first, then the women. Winners will receive these gin-u-wine one of a kind silk ribbon.” Mary held up a six inch blue ribbon. “Blue is first place, red is second, third is green and fourth is white. Have fun everyone. Play fair and be good sports so that everyone can enjoy the day.”

  Tom and Jim paired off with one sack. “Come on, Dad. Let’s show them how it’s done,” Tim said while claiming a sack. Jason and Miguel Perez lined up beside Mark and Danny, then Benji and Harold Stallard quickly joined the group.

  Tim placed his right leg in the sack as Herb placed his left leg in. they put their arms around each other’s waist and held the side of the sack with their free hand. Tim whispered, “Dad, let’s move out first on our outside leg, then step forward on our inside legs. If we stay in sync, I bet we’ll beat them.” Herb grinned and nodded.

  The Mayor fired a started pistol in the air and the contestants started off. On their third step, Benji and Harold fell. The crowd groaned for them and then cheered the others. Anna and Irene ran beside the runners to watch their three males.

  “Yeah! Now what do you have to say about this old man?!” Herb punched the air with his fist when he and Tim came across the finish line in first place. A local news photographer took their picture. Mark and Danny were second, Tom and Jim were third and Jason and Miguel were fourth. All were very close together.

  Mary called for the women partners to claim a sack and line up. Anna and Irene moved in place. Dede and Janell, Michelle and Alice Werner, Sue Hall and Patti Benton, Ginger and Jamet Jenson and Sharon and Arlene lined up. The starter pistol was fired and off they went. The crowd laughed and went wild when Anna and Irene collided with Sue and Patti and the four fell before they had taken two steps.

  B
eing good sports, Anna and Irene cheered the others on. Michelle and Alice won with Ginger and Janet right on their heels. Dede and Janell were third and Sharon and Arlene claimed fourth.

  What a close race, and so exciting. Too bad folks, I’m sorry that some of you got a rough start, but you’re all good sports and this is for a good cause,” Mary shouted. “Now we have a game for the oldest to the youngest.

  “On this long table beside the stage are twenty stacks of soda crackers; four crackers in each stack. Contestants will run from this line to the table and eat the crackers as quickly as possible. The first one to eat the four crackers and then whistle, ‘How Much Is That Doggie in the Window’ is the winner. We must be able to recognize the tune. Ready? Get set. Go!”

  There was a lot of laughter and suggestions called as each contestant grabbed four crackers. An older woman, Mrs. Mercer and Mark started whistling at the same time. Mark got the giggles and couldn’t continue.

  Mrs. Mercer won, but Mark was declared second.

  People mingled and talked waiting for the next game. Debbie jumped up on the stage. “Okay, listen up. We have fourteen couples signed up for this one. There are fourteen piles of old clothes donated by you good people. The contestants will line up, and when the starter gun is fired, couples will race toward the pile they’re standing in front of. The couples dress and help each other dress. When all the clothes in the pile have been put on, run back to the starting line. Winner, of course, will be easily recognized.”

  The contestants took off and struggled to dress in a hurry. The crowd was in stitches at the ridiculous clothing some were putting on. Some had pants way too long. One girl had a pair of men’s long john underwear. All were good sports.

  Marshall had Chuckles take up to where Anna and Tom were standing. “Why don’t they do something chuckles and me can do?” he whined.

  “Chuckles and I,” Anna corrected him.

  “You can borrow him if you want to, but I would like to do one game with him.”

  While the teens were enjoying Marshall’s innocent expressions, Tom ran to the Mayor with a suggestion. “Mr. Warfield, Dad, would you two come here for a moment, please?” He told them of his plan and they agreed.