Belonging

by Samantha James

  But thinking of Matt in that way reminded her of Evan, and at the end making love with Evan had been an ordeal. Though they had once shared a satisfying, active sex life, she hadn't been able to respond as she once had.

  "Angel...my sweet Angel," he'd whispered so many times while holding her tenderly in his arms. How she had loved the sound of that tender endearment coming from his lips, loved it and flourished in the headiness of his desire.

  Later there were no warm, breathless words of love, only cruel, ruthless taunts. He'd called her frigid and other ugly, dirty names.

  It was a vicious circle, one that Angie hoped would end soon. Was it any wonder that she would have liked to forget what happened with Matt the other night?

  Unfortunately, Matt wouldn't let her.

  Spooky suddenly appeared in the doorway of her den and rubbed against her legs, then looked up at her. Angie laughed and settled the fat furry length of silver stripes onto her lap.

  "What would you do if some pesky old tomcat kept hounding you?" She ruffled the cat's silky fur. Spooky responded by gently nudging her nose under Angie's hand for more. "I guess that's a silly question to ask you," she teasingly accused. Spooky had borne three litters of kittens before Angie took her off for a nice little visit to the veterinarian.

  Besides, Matt wasn't hounding her—precisely. But he certainly wasn't backing off, either.

  The phone perched on one corner of her wide mahogany desk chose that moment to give a strident peal of summons. Spooky slid off her lap and onto the floor. At the doorway she cast a leisurely look back at her mistress as if to say, "I'll leave you two alone now," before strolling from the room.

  Angie cast a jaundiced eye at the phone. It rang two more times. Sighing, she reached for the phone, then spoke a cautious hello into the mouthpiece.

  "Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?" a voice asked without preamble.

  Against her will Angie smiled. It had become Matt's standard greeting the last four nights. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was nine-thirty. "You're half an hour late," she told him nonchalantly. Before he had called precisely at nine.

  "And you haven't answered my question."

  She could tell he was smiling. "I don't think you want to hear it," she teased back.

  "I think I do."

  Angie hesitated. It was getting harder and harder to turn him down. "No," she said finally.

  She knew he must have detected her indecision when he laughed. "You know you still owe me a lunch. I could collect on that." There was a slight pause. "I don't suppose you'd care to make a little wager instead?"

  "The chief of police a gambling man?" She pretended to be shocked. "What would people think if they knew?"

  "Just don't tell my boss," he pleaded. "Okay?"

  Angie chuckled and switched the phone to her other ear. "What is this infamous bet you're so anxious to make?"

  "That you will have a meal with me within the next week."

  "Hmm," she mused thoughtfully. "I think I should warn you I don't like to lose."

  "Typical statement, coming from a politician."

  She couldn't seem to stop smiling. It was odd how that always happened during these nightly phone conversations with Matt. "That reminds me--what will I be winning?"

  "Me," he replied without hesitation.

  Her breath caught in her throat. Her laugh sounded rather strangled. "Matt..." she began.

  "Oh, all right." He relented good-naturedly. "If you win, you don't have to take me to lunch. I'll buy yours instead. And if I win—-" his voice dropped to a low, husky pitch "-—I'll settle for a kiss, freely given, even more freely accepted."

  Angie's heart stood still. A feeling of warmth stole through her, spawned by an image of a dark-haired, impossibly handsome man from Chicago.

  It took a moment before she could breathe again. It was only a game, she told herself. A game that children indulged in. A game between lovers.

  But there was no denying that Matt was proving what she already knew. She liked him. She liked him far too much for her own good.

  "I hope you're not a sore loser," she heard herself say lightly.

  "The way I see it, I can't lose either way."

  It didn't occur to her until after she'd hung up an hour later, but that was exactly how she felt, too.

  There was a familiar-looking BMW parked at the baseball field the next morning when Angie and the girls piled out of the Crawfords' station wagon.

  Bill spied it at the same time. "Say, Angie." He winked at Janice, then grinned. "Isn't that Matt Richardson?"

  Angie nodded, her eyes on the figure lounging against the shiny black hood of the BMW. It was Matt, all right. Taut, trim, powerful-looking. A brown-and-gold-striped knit shirt stretched across shoulders that seemed impossibly wide, especially in comparison to the narrow hips hugged tightly by a pair of worn jeans.

  Somehow she wasn't surprised to see him. He had offhandedly asked last night if Kim had a game today, and she had half-suspected—or was it hoped?—that he would show up.

  Bill cupped his hands and shouted to Matt, whose lean legs carried him fluidly across the grass. His dark hair was attractively feathered across his forehead by the breeze. Angie's heart knocked wildly as he approached.

  His hello and smile encompassed the three adults, but his eyes lingered on Angie before he reached out to ruffle Casey's curls. "Hi, there, squirt," he teased. Casey giggled, her eyes bright and sparkling.

  "Hi, Nancy." He smiled at the youngster, then looked at Kim. "Hi, Kim. All set for the game?"

  Solemn brown eyes surveyed him before the child slowly nodded. Matt noticed how she edged closer to her mother, her thin hand slipping into Angie's. He wondered a little about her insecurity and made a note to ask Angie about it.

  "Speaking of the game, we'd better get out there." Angie nodded to where the rest of the team had started to gather on the opposite side of the field.

  "You know why he's here, don't you?" Janice asked smugly as she fell into step beside Angie.

  Angie rolled her eyes. "It's not very hard to figure out, especially after the way you practically knocked our heads together last week."

  "I know, I know. Cease and desist. You already made that very clear." Janice grimaced, then glanced back to where Matt and Bill stood together talking, Casey and Eric nearby. "But I'd say the fact that he's here, without any outside interference from me, speaks for itself. And I don't see you complaining," she added almost challengingly. They stopped in front of the team's low-slung wooden bench. "Do I get to be your matron of honor this time?"

  Angie shook her head, but she was smiling as the crowd of young girls began to gather around them. It was just like Janice to be so optimistic and hopeful; sometimes she wished she were just a little more like her. As for Matt... well, when he wasn't eyeing her in that disturbingly male way he had, she could relax and enjoy his company.

  The game resulted in a victory for Kim's team, their first win of the season. Caught up in the chattering excitement around her, Angie found herself responding to Matt's delighted expression as he came toward them. She'd heard Matt cheering Kim whenever she made a good play, and while it might only be motherly pride, she felt a warm glow when he approached Kim.

  "Beating the opposition eighteen to fifteen calls for a celebration. You like ice cream, Kim?" Kim's eyes lit up, and she nodded tentatively. Encouraged, he turned to Angie. "How about it, Coach? Is there any place close we could go to grab an ice-cream cone?"

  Angie checked her watch. It was nearly noon. "I don't know," she began doubtfully, glancing at the two children. "It might spoil their lunch—"

  "Oh, Mommy!" Casey groaned.

  "Uh-oh." Matt flashed a lopsided grin. "Sorry about that. I didn't even think about lunch."

  She felt a small tug on her hand. "Can we go, Mom? Please?"

  Soulful brown eyes looked pleadingly up at her. Kim rarely asked for anything, so she hated to say no because of something as trifling as
a late meal. The three imploring faces awaited her response. She couldn't refuse.

  "All right," she relented, then glanced at Matt, a twinkle in her blue eyes. "But only if Mom gets to have a banana split. But we have to get the car seats out of my car.

  "Done," Matt said in satisfaction. He asked Bill and Janice if they would like to come along, but they declined, saying they were due at Bill's parents' for the afternoon.

  They had nearly reached Matt's car when Angie heard a voice hailing her from behind. She turned to see Todd Austin striding toward her.

  "Hi, Angie. I stopped by your house, but when you weren't there I thought I might find you here." Todd wore a pair of crisply pleated slacks and a pale yellow golf shirt. "Hello, Kim. Casey." He nodded politely at the two girls, one on each side of her. Was it her imagination or had Kim's fingers tightened on hers?

  "Hello, Todd." Her mind more on Kim's reaction than on Todd, she began to ask what had brought him here, but Casey's voice overrode hers as she looked up at Matt.

  "Can I have orange sugar ice cream?"

  Matt looked at Angie blankly. "Orange sugar?" he mimicked silently.

  "Orange sherbet," she explained, glancing at Todd. From the corner of her eye, she saw Matt grin down at Casey. "You can have anything you want, hon," he told her.

  Todd looked past Angie to where Matt now stood behind her. "I'm sorry," he apologized rather stiffly. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

  It wasn't until Matt stepped forward and extended his hand that Angie realized she had been remiss in not introducing the two. Todd had been on vacation when Matt started his job.

  "You must be Todd Austin," he said easily. "I'm Matt Richardson."

  "Oh, yes. Our new chief of police." Todd was polite, but his tone was distant as his eyes moved assessingly over the foursome.

  His expression was faintly accusing when he looked at Angie again. That, combined with the coolness in his voice and his possessiveness earlier that week, made her just the slightest bit edgy. Still, considering how closely she had to work with Todd, she didn't like such tension existing between them.

  "Was there something you wanted to see me about, Todd?" she asked with a faint smile. "Matt was just about to take us out for ice cream. Kim's team won their first game of the year."

  For just a moment he looked angry, then he seemed to relax. "I thought you might want to review the rest of the budget material this weekend. Parks and recreation just came through this morning."

  Angie groaned. Ratification of several departmental budgets was on the agenda for Monday's council meeting. "Don't tell me. More changes?"

  Todd nodded, his expression rueful. "This is the last, I hope. I've got everything with me if you want to go ahead and take it now."

  "That'll be fine." She walked with him to his car, parked about ten spaces over from Matt's. He handed over a leather-bound bundle, then stared at her for a moment.

  She sensed what was on his mind. "Todd, I don't want any hard feelings between us," she said quietly.

  He was silent. "Because of him?" he finally asked, indicating Matt with a slight incline of his head.

  He looked so disappointed her heart went out to him. But there was no point in encouraging him needlessly. "No," she said very gently. "To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure how I feel about Matt," she admitted. "And where you're concerned, I can't pretend to feelings that aren't there, either. I like you, Todd—very much. But only as a friend. Do you understand?"

  "Yeah," he muttered. "Can't get much plainer than that." He looked down and shifted his feet, then finally looked back up at her. "I guess I made a fool of myself, huh?"

  She shook her head, relieved to note that he was smiling.

  "Everything okay?" Matt glanced over at her quizzically when she got into his car a few minutes later. Casey was already in her car seat and Kim were sitting next to in the back seat.

  "It is now," she answered.

  "Can I ask you something?" he asked presently.

  "Ask away," she said lightly.

  "Am I competing with someone else? Todd, for instance? I know you said there was nothing going on between you two, but the way he looks at you..." His voice trailed off.

  It would have been the perfect way out, Angie realized. She didn't want Matt Richardson or Todd Austin or any other man in her life. Yet here he was, here they were together. And she really didn't mind.

  She couldn't lie to him, any more than she could lie to herself. "No. There's no one. Todd would like to change that, but..." She hesitated.

  "You wouldn't."

  She nodded.

  "I see." The makings of a smile appeared on his lips. "Does that apply to me, as well?"

  Angie stared down at her hands. Now there was a question—a very good question indeed.

  Her silence reached all the way to Matt's heart. Damned if cool, competent Angie wasn't just the slightest bit shy. He took her silence as encouragement. Granted, it wasn't much to go on, but he would take what he could get.

  A blond head suddenly bobbed between them. "I thought we were gonna get ice cream!" Casey complained.

  Matt sighed. This was one discussion he'd have liked to continue. Instead, it crossed his mind he was quickly learning that patience, especially as it pertained to Angie Hall, was indeed a golden word. But he could wait. It would make the reward all the more precious.

  An hour later both Casey and Kim had devoured hamburgers and French fries, as well as half of their ice-cream cones. Angie watched as the waitress walked toward their table with a tray in her hands.

  "I'll probably regret this tomorrow," she laughed as the dish containing triple scoops of ice cream covered with thick, rich toppings and a fluffy mound of whipped cream were placed before her. "My over-thirty figure can't handle very many of these." Her eyes glinted teasingly. "Banana splits are my one weakness."

  And you are mine, he added silently, wishing he could be honest, totally honest, with her. Sitting across from her in the booth, his eyes took in the slim bare arms resting on the tabletop. He'd already committed her body to memory—full, round breasts that he fairly ached to fit into his palm, legs that were long and slim, topped by that delightfully curved derriere

  "Your over-thirty figure couldn't get any better," he finally told her, his eyes as warm as his voice. Smiling, he gently pushed the dish closer to her.

  Angie picked up her spoon. Her face flushed with unexpected pleasure at his compliment. "Sure you don't want some?"

  He nodded. "Better eat it while you can," he added with a chuckle. Kim and Casey, seated on either side of her, had turned covetous eyes to their mother's treat. His smile deepened as Angie took her first bite, then closed her eyes. It tasted disgracefully rich, almost sinfully delicious.

  It wasn't until she was nearly finished that she looked up and caught Matt's expression. His smile was gone, but his eyes were fairly dancing with merriment that reflected a boyish charm.

  He leaned toward her, his words meant for her ears alone. "You lose," he said very softly.

  Angie couldn't help it. Her mouth curved with unwilling amusement. Until that moment she had completely forgotten about the silly bet he had insisted on several nights ago—that within the week they would share a meal. And now, it seemed, she owed him a kiss. What was it he'd said? Freely given, freely accepted. Oddly, the prospect filled her with a strange tingle of excitement, a feeling of feminine warmth and anticipation. It had been so long that she almost didn't recognize it. Almost—but not quite.

  "Are you copping out on me already?" His voice was laced with devilry.

  Her palms grew suddenly damp. Not yet anyway, she answered silently. Wordlessly she shook her head.

  "Later, then?" She heard him voice the question, saw an even deeper question in his eyes.

  She glanced around the crowded restaurant, needing a moment to compose herself. Matt wouldn't force her into anything. She didn't know how she knew it--she just did.

  And somehow that gave her t
he courage to smile shyly across at him. "Later," she echoed huskily. Later...

  CHAPTER NINE

  On the way home, it struck Angie how different Matt was from Todd. Todd was tense sometimes. A worrier, not always particularly patient.

  But the easy way Matt acted with the girls, especially, impressed Angie. He didn't seem to find Casey's nonstop questions at all annoying, though several times Angie saw him trying hard not to laugh. He even tried to engage quiet Kim in conversation. Kim responded shyly, but Angie marveled that she even responded at all. Her usual reaction when a man spoke to her was to drop her eyes and look away, pretending she hadn't heard.

  Yes, Matt was different. He was kind and sensitive. The very fact that he hadn't pressured her into something she wasn't sure she even wanted, much less something she wasn't ready for, was proof positive. Many men would have already sought greener pastures. As virile-looking a man as he was, he would have no trouble attracting his share of female attention.

  Angie had shied away from men ever since Evan died. Matt Richardson, however, was the kind of man she could care about, really care about. But did she dare? It was a question she didn't yet have an answer to.

  With a start she realized that Matt had pulled into her driveway. She smiled a little self-consciously when

  she felt his eyes on her profile. "This is starting to become a habit," she murmured. "You dropping me off at home."

  He followed the movement of her slender hand as it tucked a wispy strand of gold behind her ear. The rest of her hair lay in a single fat braid down her back. The simple hairstyle, along with the fact that she wore little makeup, made her appear very young.

  He suddenly remembered the dark anguish in her eyes when she spoke of her husband. Was it selfish of him to wonder how to ease her pain and replace it with a golden glow of love for him? Perhaps. But it didn't stop him from wanting to try.