My Ranger Weekend

by Lowrance, J. D.

On the third night at my dad’s, he asked if there was something bothering me. He said he could tell I was carrying something with me. He asked about the CD I sent him and asked him to mail to Ryan. I do not know if it was the four beers I had that night since dinner or if I just needed a fresh outlook on what I was going through, but I told him everything. I told him about Ryan and the weekend we had together, minus all the sexy details. I told him about how all I did was dream about her every night and imagined what she was doing all day. My mind never drifted far from her, even in the darkest of places we went on this op she was the light that kept me grounded and focused, all with the hopes of making it back to her. I told him how I had bummed a few sleeping pills a couple of times so I would not dream of her. I either woke up with a raging hard-on or choking on emotions. On an op as intense as ours was, I had to keep my shit together and thinking about Ryan every fucking second would not cut it.

  My father listened and took everything in before turning to me and said, “Son, no one deserves you more than a woman who shines light on your dark places. That is what Margaret did for me. I was in a dark place after your mom died and Margaret was the light that showed me it is more fun to dance in the sun then cry alone in the dark.”

  “Dad,” I paused, “I want to spend every day in Ryan’s light and not another dreamless night in the dark.”

  “Then go get her son,” he directed.

  And now here I stood anxiously awaiting the plane to arrive. Amen. A voice came on alerting us that our plane had landed and that once the plane was unloaded and cleaned we would be up in the air. I smiled feeling the excitement of being one step closer to Ryan. I still had three and a half weeks of leave before I had to report back to base and I was going to spend every minute of that time getting Ryan back. The plan was simple; go to O’Malley’s the minute I was in town and then to Reggie’s parents’ house tomorrow to try and find her. I was going to prove that I wanted to pick up where we left off and make something of this, of us.

  I stuck in my headphones as I scrolled through my playlist. My thumb hovered over “the best weekend of my life” playlist. I had not listened to it since being stateside as I tried to make the trip with my father worth it for the both of us. The constant pull I felt to remember Ryan came rushing back as I hit the playlist than shuffle as Maroon 5’s “Secret” filled my ears, and memories flooded my mind of Ryan in her pink lacy matching bra and panties. I did not have to keep my thoughts of her bottled up. I was finally going home.

  Ryan

  “You ready?” called Reggie from her bedroom. I did one more quick look in the mirror and called out, “Yep.” We were at her parent’s again since they were out of town.

  “Damn girl, you look hot.” Reggie whistled and I laughed in response. The strapless dress was a sky blue color to match the blue in my unique eyes. It was chiffon and I cut it to fit like a glove on my body, leaving nothing to the imagination. I topped it off by making my hair pin straight and pulling it up into a high pony tail. I wore tan, almost nude wedges. I looked good and felt great.

  “When did you make that and when can I get one in purple?” She asked, walking around me in a circle to check out the new dress I made the weekend before.

  “I made it last weekend while you were in New York. And to answer the second question, I already made you one.” I looked to her with a big smile but was only met with a slight frown and eyes full of pity.

  “Oh baby,” she said. Each muscle tensed at hearing the pity in her voice.

  “You sure you want to meet up with Garrett?” Her eyes searching mine for a different answer than what she knew was going to come out of my mouth.

  “Definitely. No more waiting. No more crying. According to Romeo they have been home for five days and nothing from Flint.” There were no more tears to cry. I waited like he cryptically asked me to and now nothing from him. Romeo called Reggie the minute he landed in New York five days ago.

  “Maybe, he just needs . . .”

  “Stop Reg,” I interrupted, putting my hand up for her to stop. I knew she was trying to be a good friend but I could not handle it tonight. “No more, okay?”

  “Ok,” she relented. “Let’s go and have some fun.”

  We walked into O’Malleys for Throw Back Thursday right as “Karma Chameleon” by the Culture Club started to play.

  “I love this song,” Reggie called out over the music. We paid our cover and made it over to the bar. Garrett and a few of his friends were already there laughing and drinking. The minute Garrett saw me his eyes popped as he looked me over from head to heel.

  “Hey gorgeous,” he said as he met us. He kissed each of my cheeks before putting his hand on my lower back directing me towards his friends. I took a big step forward not ready for him to touch me just yet. I needed some liquid courage so I could get through this night. “Hey Reg,” Garrett said as he led us to the bar.

  “What would you two ladies like?” Josh, Garrett’s best friend, asked.

  “Captain and diet coke,” Reggie and I said at the same time.

  “Jinx,” we called out laughing.

  “Your turn,” I said as Reggie turned to the bar to get shots.

  “You look so sexy,” Garrett whispered in my ear as he took a deep breath. “You smell so good.” I winced at his proximity but played it off as a shiver. “I see I affect you just as much,” he cooed as her ran his nose from behind my ear to the crook of my neck.

  “Here you are,” Reggie said interrupting us, “a kamikaze.” I snorted as I tried to hold in my laughter. This shot was our universal sign that the dude or dudes with us had crashed and burned and that is was time to call it a night.

  “Too soon,” I responded as I washed my laughter back with the shot.

  “It’s never too soon for shots,” Garrett said, totally misreading the situation. Reggie and I both laughed. “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” came on making Reggie clap her hands and scream, “Hell yeah,” as she dragged me to the dance floor. We danced for a few songs before our thirst won out and we headed back to the bar. Garrett immediately engulfed me in his arms as he handed me a fresh drink.

  “You looked hot out there,” he slightly slurred.

  “Thanks,” I said as I took a drink of the very strong Captain and Diet Coke. I stepped out from his arms to stand next to Reggie who was talking to Josh about plans after graduation.

  “Didn’t you hear?” Reggie questioned Josh as he asked what she and I planned to do. He shook his head no. “Ryan’s design won the MTV contest. We even found out who will wear the dress, super model Charlotte Moore. Can you believe it!” I laughed at her over the top theatrics.

  “Holy shit,” replied Josh, along with a few “no ways” from the other guys. “Did you get to meet her?”

  “Yeah. She is really cool and really nice,” I replied.

  “And really hot,” Josh laughed.

  “Yeah, that too,” I agreed.

  Garrett sat there the entire time with a smug look on his face. He was at my parent’s house helping my father the day the phone call came through. He claimed in front of my parents that he knew it all along, like he had not been pushing my parents’ agenda since senior prom. Whatever.

  “Yep,” Reggie beamed as she hugged me to her side. Now it seemed like nothing was going to keep me from fashion school. Even my parents were on board as my dad’s firm began to represent me in negotiations with Target who showed an interest in putting some of my dresses in their stores. Everything was happening so fast and I should have been thrilled but it was like I was watching it happening not living it. All of the excitement I thought I would feel was nowhere to be found. I was just going through the motions.

  “She is a true gem,” Garrett shouted over the music as he pulled me to him on the stool. He positioned me to stand in between his legs. His smile held a hint of pride and awe, earning him a genuine smile back from me. A chaste kiss to my lips followed as I stood frozen to my spot, partly shocked at his boldness and pissed at
myself for allowing this. Did he notice how stiff I was?

  Movement out of the corner of my eye drew my attention across the bar to a table in the corner against the wall. I blinked once, twice, swearing my eyes were playing a mean joke on me. He’s here! Flint, my Ranger, was here, right before my very eyes. I greedily drank him in as I took in every square inch of him. My eyes wandered over the white t-shirt he wore that barely contained his muscular physique. His day old scruff added to his devilish good looks.

  My sigh at seeing Flint was cut short when I noticed the tick in his jaw and his hands clenching and unclenching at his side. I went to step out of Garrett’s hold but he just pulled me tighter into him. I turned to find Garrett just as tense as Flint as they stared at one another.

  “Holy shit,” Reggie echoed exactly what was going through my mind.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Flint

  My God! She was even more gorgeous than I remembered; her hair shinier, her legs longer, her smile more brilliant. Reggie was pulling her to the dance floor. I stood frozen as I watched her body sway with the music. What I wouldn’t give to have her wrapped around me as I sank into her. I adjusted myself as I took a deep breath trying to calm down. I needed to play this smart if I wanted her in my arms by the end of the night.

  I took a seat in the corner so I could watch Ryan dance and enjoy herself with Reggie. Plus, I had to work up the nerve to approach her. The light blue dress she wore hugged her lithe body in all the right places. Without Ryan even turning around, I knew the dress matched the blue in her eyes. It was the same blue that colored my world whenever I closed my eyes.

  Three songs and two beers later the ladies left the dance floor and went to stand with . . . with Garrett. Are you fucking kidding me? I was too engrossed with all things Ryan that I did not even think to scan the bar. I watched as he and his friends basked in her light as I sat in the corner alone and in the dark. I clamped both hands around my beer to try and gain some control of all the anger that raced through me. Was she with him now?

  I saw his hand reach out and touch her! Like it was something he did all the time. It was evident from how she did not shrink away or remove his hand that she was used to his touch; maybe even wanted it. I fucking saw red as I chugged the last of my beer wanting to get the hell out of there. I’m a damn fool. I could not sit and watch as this fucking insanity ripped my world apart.

  Then he kissed her. I had never been shot in combat but I was pretty sure I knew in that moment what it felt like. A pain so searing it spread like wild fire across my chest straight to my gut. It twisted and twisted for every second his lips touched her. I reared up so fast my seat fell to the ground. And my world stopped as her eyes swung around and met mine. Her solar eyes widened then flared as her mind registered that it was me standing here staring back at her. A small light flicked behind her eyes making them glow as she took her time looking me over. I used this brief reprieve from her eyes to look at Garrett who was shooting daggers at me. I saw his arms tighten around Ryan and my hands automatically balled in and out of fists as I envisioned pounding them into his pretty boy face.

  I saw Ryan mouth my name as she made a move to step out of Garrett’s embrace. He leaned forward and whispered something in her ear. She stood frozen in place as she looked back at me and then again to Garrett. His snug expression turned to one of surprise as Ryan turned and bolted out the front door. I threw some money on the table and chased after the one thing in my life I could not live without.

  Ryan

  Garrett’s words kept running through my mind as I took off down the street.

  “Ryan,” Garrett said as he pulled on my arm stopping me. “I mean it. You go to him, after him, whatever, and this is officially done. There will be no you and I ever again. Can you live with that?”

  I needed some time to think. Flint was back here and . . . waiting for me. Everything I had told myself the last five days came rushing back. Tears stung my eyes as I marched to my car.

  Why did I not run into his arms like I dreamed about? Because my mind was screaming that he would disappear again if I went to him, but now I was trying to disappear. The brief reprieve I felt when my eyes met his was overwhelming. I knew in that moment that I needed Flint; that my heart, body, and soul would never be the same but I was afraid of what my mind was throwing at me.

  I had felt more alive in the 30 seconds that Flint and I stared at one another than I had in six months and five days. But now? I felt scared and alone. I even pushed Garrett away when I said, “How can we be done something that never really started.”

  “Ryan, wait,” Flint yelled behind me. The instant quiet of the street carried his voice. I stiffened as I heard the desperation in his plea. I did not pause as I crossed the street to the other side. I ran, or tried to, as much as my wedged shoes would allow. “Please stop,” he called out, his voice so much closer.

  “Please,” I begged, feeling the tears building as he continued to chase me. A block later he caught up to me, stopping my forward progress by standing in front of me.

  We stood staring at one another, panting. “Hey lovely,” he whispered. I turned my head away. I crossed my arms to stop myself from reaching out and touching him. I trembled slightly at his close proximity.

  “Flint,” I said, hating the nervousness in my voice.

  A deep breath later he asked, “Are you with Garrett?”

  “I was trying to be but . . .” I trailed off afraid to say what I was thinking.

  “But what?” he barked at me. I shook my head denying him those words like he denied me these last six months.

  “You know I don’t like games.” His words bringing me back to our time in the pool together.

  “I am not playing one. Are you?” I asked. My fear being replaced with all the anger and hurt he left me feeling for a better . . . or worse part of a year. “You give me the best weekend of my life and then disappear from the face of the earth.” I air quote the name of his CD, throwing it back at him. His silence was deafening.

  “Flint,” I begged. “Where have you been? Why are you here? Why haven’t you called? I know you were with Romeo one of the times he talked to Reggie. She told me she could hear your voice in the background.” I paused as a single tear rolled down my cheek. “Why? Why didn’t you call?” I dropped my head in my hands as the walls I had erected came crumbling down.

  In an instant Flint’s arms were around me. “Shh, lovely. Don’t cry baby. I am not worth the tears.” I melted in his arms, burying my nose into the crook of his neck and breathing deep. For the first time since I fell asleep in his arms that I felt whole. “God, I missed you,” he murmured, squeezing me tighter. I basked in his warmth, in him, as we stood there unmoving; neither one of us willing to pull away first.

  “Talk to me,” I said against his neck.

  “I didn’t call because I knew if I did I would never make it to my father’s.”

  “What?” I asked as I pulled back so I could see his face.

  “I just knew that hearing your voice would be too much and I had to go see my dad first. I had to check on him because once I was here with you I would never want to leave. I didn’t call because I would have come straight here to be with you; everything else be damned.”

  “So you went home?”

  “Not home, my dad’s,” he replied. “After we flew into New York, Romeo stayed and I flew to South Dakota; saw my dad and tried not to think of you.”

  “God, I missed you,” I said interrupting him.

  “I know baby. I know. You were all I thought about for every minute of every day and all I dreamt about every night for 98 straight days.”

  “98?” I asked knowing he was gone at least 180 days.

  As if knowing I was doing the math in my head, Flint said, “I was not taking our time apart really well and I couldn’t sleep because I would wake up every time I dreamt of you. So my commander made me see someone who prescribed some sleeping pills that let me slip into an ob
livion so deep even you could not find me.”

  “Why?” The thought that I did that to him made my chest hurt.

  “Do you have to ask?” Flint questioned as he tucked a wayward strand of hair behind my ear. I nodded, wanting him to answer me. “Because you, beautiful, in less than two days became my everything.” My hand flew to my mouth as I gasped at his words. “Just the hope that you even felt the slightest bit of what I did kept you on my mind 24/7.” He paused as his hand pulled mine away from my mouth, as his eyes roamed over my face and then my heart fluttered as he Eskimo kissed me. “I have never in my life had someone who affected me like you do; someone I want to share every moment with and have every memory with from this moment forward.” His forehead came to rest on mine. “I want to take what this is between us and continue to love and nourish it until I have your mind, body, and soul like you have mine.”

  He kissed my lips. “I may not have gone about this the right way. I know I hurt you when I left without saying good-bye, but it was the only way I could do it and still survive these last six months. I would rather have the dream of you than the reality that you were not mine. Please forgive me.”

  I was speechless. “I . . . I don’t know what to say.

  “Please baby, say you forgive me,” he pleaded.

  Another tear rolled down my cheek that Flint caught with his thumb. “Please baby.”

  “I . . . I forgive you,” I stammered. Flint stepped further into my space forcing me to crane my neck to look in his eyes. His eyes began to glow with a need so primal that I felt my body respond. “So tell me,” Flint growled as he nibbled at my lips. “Are you with Garrett?”

  “I was trying to be but . . .” I trailed off again.

  “But what?” His grip tightened on my hips.

  “I can’t.” He hulled my body up against his. My hands flew to his chest.

  “Why?” He rumbled as he ground his erection into me.

  “Because,” I paused as I licked my lips as a tremble ran through my body in anticipation of what he would do next, “I’m yours.” His mouth swallowed my cry as he kissed me breathless. Wetness and need flooded my channel in response to him. The kiss was biting in its intensity.