“We’d stop until you could keep going.”
Sultry had been a bust, so she batted her eyelashes. “You wouldn’t carry me?”
He gave her a look. The look. The one her brother had used when she wanted to wimp out on a skiing run or hike. “Suck it up, Bishop.”
Those were the same words Nick used to say to her. And that’s when it hit her. All day, Jake had been treating her like Nick’s little sister. Not the woman he’d kissed last night. She wanted to know why. “I need to stop.”
Jake turned toward her. “Have a drink of water. You’ll feel better.”
Carly drank. Physically, she felt better, but emotionally…She shivered.
“Cold?” he asked.
“What are we doing?” she asked.
His brow creased. “We’re snowshoeing.”
“That’s not what I mean.” She tried again. “What do you want out of this? Us, I mean.”
“I want you to be happy.”
She thought about his reply for a moment. “You want the kids to be happy, too.”
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked.
“Because I’m not a kid anymore,” she said, irritated. “You alternate between wanting to devour me with kisses and treating me like Nick’s little sister. I don’t get this hot-and-cold treatment.”
“Hot and cold?” Jake repeated.
She crossed her arms against her chest and glared at him. “How about just plain cold?”
He glared back. “You are Nick’s little sister. I’m trying to be considerate here. Make you happy. What’s wrong with that?”
She didn’t want to argue, but Jake brought out the best and worst in her. “I know you’ve gone out of your way these past couple of days to make Christmas special for both the kids and me. I appreciate you and all you’ve done. It’s been magical and wonderful. But instead of trying to give me what you think will make me happy, why don’t you ask me what I really want?”
He flung his arms wide. “Okay. What do you really want?”
“I want what I thought I lost on this mountain six years ago. I want what I thought I could never have again. Love. A happily ever after. And I think I want it with you.”
Jake stood silent. A beat passed. And another, while her hands and feet turned icy cold and apprehension froze her chest.
“I want you, Carly,” he said finally.
A little warmth trickled through her. That was good. But it wasn’t enough. “But do you want to have a relationship with me or just a fling? Which is it, Jake?”
Her question hung in the icy air.
“There you guys are!” The call came down the trail.
“Hot chocolate!” Kendall cried.
Jake’s eyes met Carly’s in unspoken apology as the group came down and surrounded them.
Or was that relief?
Do you want to have a relationship with me or just a fling?
Carly’s question had been on Jake’s mind ever since they got back from snowshoeing. And he still didn’t have an answer for her or himself.
Outside, he placed the garbage bag into the can. His breath fogged in the cold night air, but he wasn’t in a rush to go indoors. The kids were in bed. That would leave him and Carly alone.
Jake secured the top on the garbage can.
He’d always gone for what he wanted. The only time he hadn’t was with Carly. First, she’d been too young. Then she’d fallen in love with Iain. And then there had always been Nick, who would have punched Jake out for thinking about his little sister that way. Even after Iain and Nick had died, Jake had hesitated to act on what he wanted because of Carly’s grief and his own guilt. Those had all been good, valid reasons, but now…Now nothing stood in the way.
I want what I thought I could never have again. Love. A happily ever after. And I think I want it with you.
Nothing but him.
Jake wanted only the best for Carly, but he didn’t know if he could give her what she wanted. He didn’t know if he could be who she wanted.
He walked slowly to the back door, shoving his bare hands in his pockets. No matter what he decided, Jake had one thing left to do, one more thing to offer her. He entered the mudroom and made his way to the kitchen.
“Let It Snow” played on the radio. Carly dried her hands at the sink. She shot him a strained smile, her unanswered question still hanging between them. “The dishes are loaded. The only thing left is straightening the living room.”
Jake’s work was almost done here. Almost.
She walked into the living room, kneeled beside the Christmas tree and arranged the toys underneath. “It’s hard to believe Christmas is over.”
Jake leaned against the couch, watching her. “There’s still a few hours left.”
Carly got a wistful look in her eyes. “I guess.”
He walked over to the tree. “Christmas can’t be over because I haven’t given you your present.”
“You got me the snowshoes.”
“Those were from all of us.” Jake reached under the red-and-green velvet tree skirt and pulled out a gift he’d hidden two days ago. “This is from me.”
Whatever else he could or couldn’t give her, he could give her this.
She stared at the package, wrapped in bright red paper and tied with a white ribbon. “You didn’t—”
“Open it,” he urged.
Carly looked at him with hope and doubt before turning her attention to untying the lopsided bow and unwrapping the box. She removed the top of the box, unfolded the white tissue paper and stared at the front of the photo album made from wood. She ran her fingers along the stained and polished cover. “It’s beautiful, Jake.”
“You told me by looking back you could move forward,” he explained. “I thought this might help.”
She opened the first page and gasped. “This is from when we were kids.”
“Hannah has all the pictures organized so that made them easy to find.” Jake couldn’t tell if she liked it or not. “The beginning of the album is filled with my favorite pictures of us. All of us. The rest of the book is blank so you can fill them as you make new memories.”
Tears welled in her eyes. She blinked.
Carly thumbed through the pages, laughing and wiping her eyes at the all those times spent together, all those long-forgotten memories…
Jake got a funny feeling in his stomach that spread throughout his entire body and seemed to settle in his heart.
“Do you remember this one?” She pointed to a picture of her, Iain, Nick and Jake climbing at Smith Rock. “Or this one, when you and Nick took me backpacking?”
He laughed. “How could I forget the huckleberry ice cream incident or the run-in with Mr. Skunk?”
How could he forget any of this?
Jake had been dragging his feet, afraid to commit his life to Carly, but she was already part of his life. The proof was right in front of him. All those pictures of them. The good times and the bad. Sure, there was a six-year gap, but now that she was back, Jake knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted to be in the rest of the pictures. He wanted to fill all those blank pages with memories of the two of them. Together.
“This is incredible,” Carly said.
No kidding.
“Thank you.” She closed the album and looked up at him, her eyes shining. “It’s the best gift ever. Well, next to the dog sled ride.”
She laughed. So did he. Happy, relieved, nervous.
Jake hadn’t felt so alive, so whole in six years. He felt as if he was starting all over again. As if his heart was brand-new, full of wonder and waiting for new discoveries. As if this woman sitting next to him was all that mattered, and would ever matter to him.
Carly parted her lips slightly. He took that as an invitation, pressing his lips against hers. Warm, soft, smooth.
Now this was the perfect Christmas present.
Moving his mouth over hers, he reveled in the taste—a mix of spices, chocolate, Carly. Exotic, sweet, unique.
And all his.
Finally.
Jake wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. He wanted to make the most of the moment.
No more “should have.”
No more “what if.”
No more regret.
He kissed her, holding nothing back. As his lips savored every sensation, heat sizzled through his veins.
She arched toward him, never removing his lips from hers. “Oh, Jake.”
Her eagerness thrilled him. Turned him on. He combed through her hair with his hand, his fingers twisting in the silky strands.
He wanted…more. Okay, her. And for the first time, he had the chance he’d dreamed about all those years ago.
But this had nothing to do with then, and everything to do with now. He’d finally found home, where he belonged, and he wasn’t ready to let go.
Jake didn’t know if this was the best thing for Carly, but it was what he could give her. That had to count for something.
He kissed her as if she were the moon, earth and sun. And right now she was all three. The past, the present and, he hoped, the future.
His mouth moved against hers, wanting her to know how he felt. Words wouldn’t do. He wouldn’t know what to say or how to say it, but this kiss…
Yes, this kiss.
Hear me, Carly. Jake deepened the kiss yet again. Please hear what my kisses are saying to you.
Carly didn’t want Jake to stop kissing her. Not now, possibly not ever. That fact alone should have sent off warning bells, but all she wanted was more kisses.
He had one arm around her back and his other hand in her hair. She scooted closer until she was on top of his lap.
For so long, she’d felt alone. But no longer. Carly wasn’t alone. She didn’t have to be alone ever again.
As he kissed her neck, she sighed.
Carly didn’t want this to stop. She didn’t want to let Jake go.
Don’t think about it too much.
She focused on the now. On Jake’s kiss. How his lips caressed her, showered her with love.
Don’t stop.
“I’m not planning to.”
Carly must have said the words aloud. She didn’t know. She didn’t care. No one had ever kissed her so thoroughly, so intensely. And…
Crying.
She stiffened, a nanosecond before he pulled away from her. “One of the kids.”
Jake swore and then sighed. “Let’s go.”
Her swollen, bruised lips longed for more kisses, but she knew where her responsibilities lay. So did Jake. She crawled off his lap and stood. He laced his fingers with hers.
Carly smiled. She climbed the stairs with Jake at her side. The crying came from Austin’s room. She pushed open the door.
“Austin,” she said softly.
The boy sobbed from the lower bunk bed. “I miss my mommy.”
“Aww.” Carly pulled him into her arms. “It’s hard when you miss your mommy and she’s not here.”
Austin hiccupped. Jake kneeled at the side of the bed. “Your mom will be home soon, buddy.”
Austin sniffled. “I want her home now.”
“I know you do.” Carly combed her fingers through his short, tangled hair. “But she needs to be in the hospital right now to recover from having Tyler.”
“What if she never comes back?” Austin asked.
Carly didn’t know how to answer. He might not remember his biological father, but he knew his daddy had left one day and never come back. “Your mommy loves you very much. No matter where you are or where she is.”
“Your mom wants nothing more than to come back and be with you,” Jake added. “But she has to wait until the doctor says it’s okay.”
Austin wiped his eyes.
“Do you want to call her?” Carly asked. “Would that make you feel better?”
“What if the baby’s asleep and Mommy, too?” Austin asked, sounding like a caring, considerate big brother. Nick would have been so proud. “That wouldn’t be good to wake them up.”
“She wouldn’t mind,” Carly explained. “She doesn’t want you to be sad.”
Austin looked at her. “I won’t be sad if you sleep with me.”
“That bed’s a little small for two,” Jake said.
Austin brightened. “I could sleep in Aunt Carly’s room.”
“Can I sleep there, too?” Kendall asked from the doorway.
Carly gave Jake a rueful look. The regret in his eyes matched her own.
He touched her shoulder. “It’s okay.”
His understanding touched her heart. This wasn’t what either of them wanted, but they had no choice. She looked at the kids. “If you want to sleep in my bed, that’s okay.”
Austin jumped out of bed and grabbed his pillow.
“I’ll go get my stuff,” Kendall said before disappearing.
Carly glanced up at Jake. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think things tonight would end like this.”
“Hey, no worries,” he said. “We have plenty of time to be together.”
Together.
The thought sent a burst of heat rushing through her veins. Anticipation built within her. “I can’t wait.”
He smoothed her hair with his hand. “You won’t have to wait long.”
She took a deep, satisfied breath.
“Go crawl in bed with them,” Jake said. “I’ll make sure everything’s turned off and lock up before I go.”
“You could stay—”
“I can’t.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “But I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Aunt Carly,” a high-pitched voice called out.
“I better go,” she said. “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For being you.” Carly smiled. “And making this the best Christmas ever.”
Jake grinned. “Just wait until next year.”
CHAPTER TEN
THE NEXT MORNING, the doorbell rang. Kendall and Austin ran to the front door, their footsteps shaking the ornaments on the Christmas tree.
“Don’t open the door until I get there,” Carly said, padding her way from the kitchen.
“It’s Uncle Jake,” Austin shouted.
Her pulse quickened. “Go ahead then.”
“Good morning.” Jake stepped inside, for a moment his gaze met hers, then he closed the door behind him. He handed Austin a pink box. “Here you go.”
Kendall peeked inside. “Donuts.”
“Don’t open the box until you’re in the kitchen,” Carly said as the kids skipped off, giggling the entire way. She felt like giggling herself.
Jake’s hair looked damp and his face baby-smooth, as if he’d recently showered and shaved. Carly fought the urge to reach out and touch his face. There would be time for that.
“Thanks for the donuts,” she said. “Much tastier than what I had in—”
He kissed her on the lips, hard and fast, taking her breath away and tripling her heart rate in seconds.
Jake pulled his left arm from behind him and handed her a beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers. “These are for you.”
Her lips tingled from his kiss, her heart from his thoughtfulness.
“I didn’t know what your favorite flower was,” he admitted.
“These are.” Carly took the bouquet and sniffed the colorful blossoms. A sweet floral aroma filled her nostrils.
“Which ones?”
Happiness swelled inside her. “All of them.”
Jake winked. “Today’s my lucky day.”
“You might be right about that.” She stared at the flowers. “But I thought you only brought flowers to dates and hospital visits.”
“This could be considered a date.”
Contentment settled over the center of her chest. “You think?”
He nodded. “Of course we have chaperones, but Hannah and Garrett should be home later today.”
Excitement surged. Not that Carly didn’t like being with the kids or didn’
t want to help out with Tyler, but she really wanted a little alone time with Jake. Okay, a lot of time, but she would take what she could get. “I know.”
“I can’t wait to steal you away.”
“I’m yours for the taking.”
“Promise?”
She laughed. “But don’t forget, I’m still here to help Hannah.”
“I’ve got you covered.”
“How?”
“Leanne will come over to help Hannah with the kids so I can take you out.”
Carly glanced at the cuckoo clock. “How did you manage to arrange help at eight o’clock in the morning?”
“My methods are top secret,” he whispered, his breath hot against her neck. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kiss you.”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
“Me, either.” He peered around her shoulder. “But our audience might have something to say about it.”
She glanced behind her. The kids stood in the doorway to the kitchen. Austin had chocolate icing smeared all over his face. “We’ll be right there.”
The kids didn’t move.
Carly sighed. No rush, she reminded herself. Besides she needed to put the flowers in water. “Come on, let’s eat breakfast so we can make gingerbread.”
Standing in the kitchen, Carly inhaled deeply. “Okay, that’s it! Everybody outside.”
“Why?” Kendall demanded.
“The gingerbread needs time to cool,” Carly said.
Jake’s eyes met hers, still with that delicious warmth in his gaze. “I need to cool off, too,” he murmured, too low for the kids to hear.
Enough of his accidental brushes and subtle on-purpose touches had Carly agreeing with him.
Everyone put on their coats, hats and gloves, headed to the front yard and made a snow family to welcome the baby.
As snowflakes drifted down from the sky, Carly wrapped a multicolored striped knit scarf around a snowwoman’s neck. “What do you think?”
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