Waves of Desire: Pleasure Point Series Book Three
Page 5
He gave a little wave as I sauntered toward him. “Just giving them my John Hancock,” he said. “About a million times.” He winked. “Told you my autograph would be famous one day.”
He signed the last of the medical documents, and the administrative assistant took his paperwork then spoke into the phone to order a wheelchair.
“I can walk,” Butch said.
“Of course you can. Standard operating procedure.”
When the wheelchair arrived, instead of the usual orderly, Dr. Bryant pushed it. Butch’s eyes lit up.
“Well, hello there,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. His face turned deep crimson. “I couldn’t let my favorite patient leave without a goodbye.”
Dr. Bryant instructed me to pull my truck to the front of the hospital. By the time I retrieved the truck, set the parking brake, and jogged to his side, Butch was making jokes and chatting it up with the Doctor like they were old friends. She threw her head back and laughed at one of his dumb jokes. “Hey, Dr. Bryant, did you hear about the patient who lost the entire left side of his body?”
“Why no. What happened to him?”
“He’s all right now.”
She practically doubled over in laughter. “Oh Butch, you are a comedian. I’m going to miss you.”
“Jax, take a picture.” Butch handed me his phone, and I snapped a photo of their two smiling faces, Dr. Bryant bent over with her arms around him. She told me to take good care of my friend, and I loaded him into the truck and headed for breakfast. Butch waved to Dr. Bryant until he couldn’t see her anymore.
We found a bistro close to the airport, and after the server brought coffee and warm croissants, I took a deep breath preparing to launch into my story about Rosalyn and Eugene. “Remember how I told you I was meeting with Rosalyn yesterday?”
He buttered his croissant and said, “Who?”
“You know, the friend of the family who called.”
“Oh yeah, how’s she doing?”
“Well, are you ready for the story of the century?”
“Dude, I thought you gave me the story of the century when you told me about your stable of women.”
“This story’s better.” I leaned back in my chair. My hands shook when I picked up my mug and took a sip of cappuccino. I set the cup down and told him the whole story, starting with when I was seventeen and ending with our meeting the previous day. I told him about how we started, about Rosalyn’s “tutoring sessions,” about how I’d fallen in love with her, and even how we’d been caught by my mom. I didn’t leave anything out. As I told the story, Butch’s eyes got wider and his eyebrows crept up his forehead. He sipped more coffee and homed in on my eyes.
His voice was halting when he said, “You mean to tell me you were a virgin?”
I folded my arms. “Yep.”
“And she actually popped your cherry?”
I shoved him in the chest. “I prefer the term ‘deflowered’.”
“Well that sure explains a hell of a lot.”
“Like what?”
“Like why all those women pay you all that money. Seems like this Rosalyn person taught you a thing or two.”
My face grew hot. “Guess she did.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “Shit. That totally sucks that your mom caught you guys.” When he said that, all the air in the room vanished, and I struggled for breath. Butch said, “And you never told anybody else?”
“Tyler was the only other person who knew.”
“Didn’t you try to get in touch with her all these years?”
“‘Course I did. But she didn’t want to be found. Even made up that crazy sperm donor story so her kid wouldn’t ask questions.”
“You mean your kid.” He sat up straight, his face serious. “Jax, you’ve got a son.”
“Jesus, Butch, I don’t even know if he’s mine.”
“But you’re going to find out, right?” I nodded. “You’re still in love with her aren’t you?”
I combed my hair back with one hand and averted my gaze. “I don’t know. I mean, what the hell? She screwed me bad, leaving me like that all those years ago. Not telling me I had a son. I honestly don’t know if I can ever forgive her.”
Butch leaned forward and put his hand on my arm. “Jax, I want you to listen to me. When I was lying on the beach and in the helicopter and then getting all those tests, you want to know what I thought about?”
“What?”
“When I was afraid I might die, I started thinking about my life.”
“And?”
“And I wasn’t thinking about Butch Wolf the surfer or Butch Wolf the business owner or my retirement accounts or my surfboards or the next surf session or my house in Encinitas.” He leaned in further. “I thought about who I was as a person. Was I a good person? Did my life have a purpose? Was I making a difference? Did I take things for granted?” Butch’s eyes glazed over with tears. “Could I have given more? Did I appreciate this crazy thing we call life as much as possible? And if I had died that day, would my family and friends know how much they meant to me?” Tears welled up in Butch’s eyes. I handed him a napkin, and he dabbed his eyes.
“Jeez, you’re going to start writing for Hallmark,” I said in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Seriously, buddy, I was scared to death you weren’t going to make it.” At that moment I realized how lucky I was to have a best friend, my health, and what could be one heck of an exciting life if I changed my attitude. But I still wasn’t sure how to frame what was happening with Rosalyn.
“Jax, you’ve got a son. You know how crazy lucky you are?”
I peered down at my hands. “I guess.”
“Did they really give her six months?
“That’s what she said.”
He exhaled. “That sucks.” He leaned forward, his gaze intense. “But she can’t give up. And you know what I think? You’ve got to help her. I say you talk to her, meet the boy, keep an open mind. This could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.” Butch collapsed back in his chair. “I know I encouraged you to go for it with Holly. But none of us knew about your son. Do you know how amped I’d be if I found out I had a kid? I say you go for it.”
“You think so?”
“Yes, Jax, I do.” He stared at me for what seemed like minutes, neither one of us saying anything. Butch broke the silence with a smile. “Now, what’re you going to do about all those ladies who are begging for your services?”
“Think I should send them your way?” I said with a grin.
“Who’s going to want to pay to have sex with a peg-leg?”
I thought of Olivia and her peculiar tastes. “You never know.”
“And what about Holly?”
I fidgeted with my silverware, lining the fork, knife and spoon up in a perfect line. I glanced at Butch. “I thought we could’ve had something.”
He barked out a laugh. “I didn’t want to be the one to break this to you buddy, but if you had been in love, you never would’ve started screwing those chicks at the Ritz.”
“Do you have to make me feel worse?”
He placed his hand on my shoulder. “You, my man, have got it made. You’re healthy, you’ve got friends, and as it turns out, you’ve got a family. Wish I could say the same.”
“But … this kid’s a stranger to me.”
“And you are to him. But your DNA runs through his veins.” He picked up his coffee cup and smiled. “I’m going to ask Summer out.”
“Who?”
“Summer from the hospital.”
“Holy shit, you mean your doctor?”
His face was split open in a wide grin. “Yep. I like her.”
“Dude, she’s too smart for you.”
“That’s okay. Maybe she can teach me a few things.”
“Plus, isn’t she geographically undesirable?”
“I could use a few trips here. And she could use a romantic getaway to Encinitas. It’s only an hour and a half flight.
I like her. A lot. And I’m not afraid to tell anybody that’ll listen.”
I smiled at my friend, and in that moment it felt like maybe everything really would be okay. “Let’s order a real breakfast. These fancy croissants are okay for those model types on anorexic diets, but we need real food.”
Butch picked up his menu, frowned and said, “What’s less fattening than a sandwich?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “What?”
He gave me a deadpan stare. “Half a sandwich.”
I lightly punched his arm. “Let’s order.”
We dove into the menu and ordered eggs, bacon, hash browns and pancakes with warm syrup. Then I dropped Butch off at the airport. We hugged and his body felt strong and alive. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and said, “You make sure to keep an open mind today, okay?”
I told him I would, but I still wasn’t sure how this whole thing with Rosalyn was going to turn out. My protective shield was not ready to come down, not yet.
Rosalyn
After Eugene left for school, I raced around the house throwing dirty clothes into the hamper, watering plants, brushing crumbs off of the sofa, making my bed, washing dishes, sweeping up the dry cat food that had spilled out of Leo’s bowl, and cleaning the cat box. When I got to Eugene’s room, it was the usual disaster of clothes on the floor, the overflowing wastebasket, and his Guitar Player, Kerrang! and Total Guitar magazines strewn everywhere. I just said, “Screw it,” and then gently closed the door.
As I put a teapot on the stove, I heard a knock at the door. I took a deep breath and, my heart pounding, opened the door. Leo mewed at my heels, his tail straight up in the air.
Jax stood in the doorway, his tall athletic frame filling the space. He wasn’t smiling.
“Hi, Rosalyn. Can I come in?”
I moved aside, and he brushed past me. When he saw Leo, his face broke into a grin. “You still have Leo!” He bent down to pet the little guy. “He must be—”
“Fourteen,” I said. “And never had a sick day in his life.”
Leo purred loudly, making figure eights in and out of Jax’s legs.
I swallowed hard. “Come in the kitchen. I put water on for tea.”
“Nice place you got here,” he said, scanning the room. “Right across from Pleasure Point? Lucky.”
I fidgeted with the hem of my blouse. “The landlord kind of felt sorry for me when I was pregnant, so he gave me a good deal. I’ve been here ever since I left Point Loma. And Eugene, he was born right here,” I said, indicating the living room. Jax looked at me with wide eyes, and I felt ashamed about everything he’d missed out on. “Sit down,” I said, pulling out a chair. I busied myself with herbal tea then sat opposite Jax at our small kitchen table.
I set a locally made pottery mug full of tea, in front of him. He took a sip, set the mug down, and said, “So, Roz, haven’t seen you in thirteen years. Think we can cover what’s happened over one cup of tea, or do you have plenty of tea and cookies for our little meeting?”
Tears pricked my eyes. “Thanks for coming today. I know this is hard … but I want to tell you how happy I am you’re here.”
“I’m listening,” he said as Leo jumped in his lap, purring and curling up into a ball.
“Jax, I know what I did was wrong.”
“What part of it, Rosalyn?”
“Please don’t make this more difficult,” I said. “The whole thing.”
“Do you regret what happened between us?”
“No, because the Universe—”
“Cut the Universe bullshit, Rosalyn. You and I, we both made choices.”
I reached out my hand to touch his but he moved away. “You were young when we started—”
“Screwing?”
“And I should’ve known better. But dammit Jax.” I inspected him, trying not to get caught up in the mesmerizing blue of his eyes. “We both went into our relationship with eyes wide open. No matter. We’re here now.”
He shifted in his chair, crossed one foot over his knee, and jostled Leo a bit. “I’ll tell you what I want to know,” he said. “I want to know why you never got in touch with me in all this time. Think I couldn’t have handled the truth?”
I took a sip of tea and looked away. “I thought I was doing the right thing. Jax, I didn’t want to burden you. You were so young. And then when Eugene was born … I needed to protect him. I couldn’t tell him his dad was—that I’d taken advantage of my friend’s son.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry. And then when I made up that story about the sperm donor clinic—”
“That was a brainstorm, gotta give you credit for that one. Did you really think the kid would never question you?”
“The kid’s name is Eugene,” I said. “When I went online and checked out those sites, it was kind of funny—”
“Oh, I’m getting one big laugh out of it.”
“Will you let me finish please?” I said. “They’re like dating sites. I found out that pretty much anybody who’s got the money can order up sperm based on the physical and educational characteristics they want. The places even deliver the sperm right to your front door. UPS.”
“You gotta be kidding me.” He leaned forward, those blue eyes boring a hole through me.
“And I figured it’d be something Eugene could never prove one way or the other. Once the lie was out there—”
“How many more lies you got up your sleeve?”
“Jax, I’m trying really hard here. The years just flew by. Then I found that lump, and then I tried all this stupid stuff to heal myself, and then I finally had surgery, and then—” I was talking too fast. I took a sip of tea. “Jax, I want you to get to know Eugene.”
He stood up and stalked over to the living room window. I could practically see the anger radiating from him. “When my mom and dad died, I was just a kid! You were my best friend. More than that. I loved you and you left me without even talking to me first. How could you do that to me?” He turned away from me, looking out the window and his shoulders shook.
“Honey, your mom was one of my best friends—”
“I’m not your honey. Stop treating me like what happened between us was yesterday. Why did you leave me?”
“I was trying to do the right thing.”
“You want to know what happened after you left? I waited. And waited. And waited like some lovesick school kid who had a crush on his teacher. I kept thinking you’d come back. But you didn’t, did you?”
There was a dullness in my chest, and I remained silent.
“I tried to find you. Every day for that first year, I woke up thinking today is the day Rosalyn’s going to come back. But you never did. How could you be so selfish? I cried myself to sleep every night, and finally I got mad.
“One day, I woke up, brushed myself off and decided I didn’t need you anymore. Jesus, Roz, if I’d have known I had a son …” He turned to face me, and I could see tears forming in his eyes. “And what about when Tyler was killed, Rosalyn? Why didn’t you contact me then?”
I inhaled sharply at Tyler’s name, walked over to Jax, then put my hand on his arm. He jerked away.
“I thought I had it bad before. I didn’t know what bad was. When my brother died, I could barely move. I lay in bed for hours staring at the ceiling, wondering how things went so bad so fast.” When he looked at me again, his eyes had turned to ice. “I had no one! No family. Nobody to cry with. Think you could’ve gotten past your selfishness for five minutes and picked up the phone? Don’t answer because I know the answer to that one.”
“I was hurting too,” I said softly. “You weren’t the only one who lay in bed staring at the ceiling. But by then, I was pretty heavily into chemo. I thought about calling you, but what was I supposed to do? Call you and say what? Hey, guess what, let’s make things even worse in your life with cancer and a son you didn’t know you had.”
He blinked. “I needed you.”
“Well, here I am,” I said, spreading my
arms wide.
He collapsed on the sofa, his legs stretched out in front of him, his arms clasped over his stomach, and he finally seemed to soften. “Sounds like you’ve been through hell yourself. What’s happening with your health?”
I sat in the chair opposite him, tucking my legs underneath me, and told him all about what had happened with the lump, the surgery, the chemo, and the six-month prognosis. And then I told him about the Trinity program. He didn’t interrupt me, just sat unmoving, those blue eyes unwavering. “I can’t give up. I’ve got Eugene to think about.” And for the first time since I’d reconnected with Jax, I saw that look of compassion in his eyes.
He gave me a small smile and said, “Of course you can’t give up. How much is this Trinity program?”
“Twenty-thousand. Cash.”
He let out a low whistle. “You got the money?”
“Part of it.”
“And the rest?”
“I’m thinking of getting a loan.”
“From?”
“From my boss at work.” I told him all about my job as a physical therapist. “I’m still working part time in between all my health issues. I’ve been planning on asking the owner of the company to loan me the money.” I hid my face in my hands and peeked out at Jax. “But that’s a long shot.” I dropped my hands into my lap. “Otherwise, I could go to the bank but I don’t know if they’d loan to a person who may not be around to collect from in six months.”
“And if your boss won’t loan you the money?”
“Then I’ll figure something out.”
Jax just stared at me, unblinking. “Come on,” he said, “Let’s get some fresh air. I need to check out the waves.”
We walked across the street to Pleasure Point, and as I stood on the cliff overlooking the ocean, the sheer drop of the beige boulders, with the multitude of surfers in the lineup, Jax standing next to me, it almost felt like old times, and I was filled with nostalgia at what was and what could never be.
“Damn. You’ve got it made,” he said as he scanned the horizon, probably looking for the next set of waves. We watched as a head-high wave rolled through. Five surfers jockeyed for position, two paddling harder than the rest, one riding the wave right, one riding the wave left. “Pleasure Point. Know how many times I’ve been in Santa Cruz and Half Moon Bay over the past decade?”