by Coralee June
It suddenly became obvious to me what this all meant. Pretty soon I would once again have to decide between Dormas and Galla. Between Josiah and my new friends. My new . . . family. I looked around the room at the men that were quickly finding the empty holes in my heart and filling them. I wondered if staying behind would make them more of a target.
“We can’t afford to take on the Galla province yet, but we need to show a display of strength until we can gather more allies. As we speak, Huxley is making arrangements to meet with neighboring Scavengers,” Cyler stated.
Almost as if he heard us talking about him, Huxley opened the door and entered my room without knocking. He stared at all of us and shrugged. “I secured a meeting with a neighboring camp on neutral ground. Hopefully, this will get us in with the scavengers,” he said in a gruff voice and followed by a yawn.
“Well. We’d better get some rest, we’ve got a big day ahead of us.” I said casually. I could sense that each of them wanted to continue to chat about what was going on, but the thoughts that swarmed my brain were equal parts depressing and scary.
Chapter Twenty
I ended up sleeping on my bed squished between Jacob and Cyler. Warmth came off them in waves, and it kept a thin sheen of sweat on my forehead, but I didn’t dare complain. I felt safe near them and relished the contact they both gave me. How did this family become such a necessity to me?
Everyone else left to their rooms, but in the morning, I was shocked to find Huxley sleeping on the floor at my door. I doubted he was concerned about me and just wanted to make sure Jacob and Cyler were alright. I made my way to the kitchen while they slept and prepared breakfast. I decided on a simple meal of eggs, bacon, and toast. I wasn’t sure how long everyone would be staying and didn’t want much food to go to waste.
Eventually, the guys made their way downstairs. I noticed that they each wore thick belts with long knives belted to them. The weapons made me nervous but curious. They were quiet and watched me with varying looks of apprehension. Even Huxley moved with a strange sadness that I didn’t quite understand. Soon, the doorbell rang, and Jacob headed to answer the door with a stern scowl.
I made myself busy until Jules’ shrill voice could be heard echoing throughout the hallway. I instantly worried about Jacob being alone with her, but before I could go to join them, Huxley threw an arm out to stop me, and Cyler waltzed towards the entryway with a broad, determined grin.
Soon, everyone was in the kitchen, and my hands shook while plating breakfast. I hoped that everyone would make their way towards the dining room, but Josiah seemed to want to be near me, and the others didn’t trust him to be alone with me. The strange mix of possessiveness and protectiveness made me dizzy.
Occasionally, I eyed Josiah, and each time he looked determinedly at me with wide, fierce eyes and clenched fists. Jules tried diffusing the tension in the room by discussing the differing fashions between each province, but it just added to the angry tone of the room.
We made our way towards the dining room and sat down in tense silence. Everyone seemed to wonder who would break first, who would crack the dam of pleasantries and unleash the violent river of everyone's true intentions. Josiah’s eyes furiously scanned his tablet with fiery eyes. I was used to the severe and focused expression he wore, and I assumed that he was receiving an urgent update, probably relating to either the incapacitated guards or the newly-diseased fake Walkers.
Surprisingly, Kemper was the one to end the pleasantries. His soft exterior wore a stern expression that caused the exotic butterflies in my stomach to go wild. He sat with his arms crossed and his lean frame seemed rigid and tense, preparing for action. “We’ve arranged for a train to pick you and your men up this morning and take you back to the Galla province. After breakfast, we will happily escort you to the station,” he said with an uncharacteristic smugness.
Josiah's face went from aggravated to ferocious, but his voice remained even. “Jules was hoping to stay for the Solstice Festival; she’s spoken very highly of it all month. Perhaps we could intrude on your kindness for a bit longer?” he asked. This political dance was exhausting. Neither one wanted to admit what was going on, and it was too dangerous to start a war.
“Ah, the Festival is tomorrow, and we simply have too many preparations to make. It would seem that the Walkers you provided us need much more work than we originally planned. For some reason, we found a group of them asleep outside the Walker Dorms this morning,” Maverick said with a smirk. He was, apparently, proud of himself.
I watched as Josiah’s face turned various shades of red, but he swallowed his rage in an exaggerated gulp. “Perhaps I should take this round of Walkers back with me? I would hate for this to reflect poorly on Galla; we only want to give you the very best,” he said in a low voice.
“That won’t be necessary. The new Walkers all seem quite eager to stay behind here with us. I’ve promised them a cure for their . . . laziness. I look forward to working very closely with them,” Kemper said with a smirk.
“Well, then I guess it is my turn to speak.” Jules interrupted with a high-pitched voice and forced proper accent. “Josiah and I have decided that we simply aren’t a good match. I’m too . . . homesick.” While she said this, she looked at Jacob with sick and hungry eyes that made my stomach drop. “We have called off the engagement indefinitely, and I’ll be moving back home.” Her words caused everyone to exchange varying looks of surprise.
“Oh sister, I'm most displeased to hear that,” Cyler said in a menacing tone that reminded me of his darker side. “Of course, this means that the terms of our contract are breached,” Cyler continued.
“Oh yes, I’ve considered this” Josiah said with a mock sigh. “Which is why I’ve concluded that I should take Ashleigh back with me to Galla. I feel that although it’s an unfair trade, it’s a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the sake of goodwill between our provinces. The success of the empire relies heavily on our alliance.” Josiah’s voice was so proper that I almost missed the insult he threw my way.
“I completely agree,” Huxley said. He was leaning against the wall at the entryway to the meeting room. The dark circles under his eyes gave him a rugged, terrifying look. He began walking towards where Josiah and Jules sat, and before speaking, he bent over to whisper near Josiah's ear. “It would be a very unfair trade.” His voice was low and full of meaning. Was Huxley defending me?
I considered the options before me. I knew that the Black Family would allow me the opportunity to choose what I wanted. For my entire life, I’d wanted Josiah to pick me. To show the world that I wasn’t someone he hid in the shadows of his home, but someone he was willing to go to hell and back for.
But, now that I had his full attention, it felt wrong. Bravely, I stood up and looked around the room. I locked eyes with each of them, gathering whatever strength I could. Lastly, my eyes landed on Huxley. He nodded a bit, and I took that as encouragement to say what I needed to say.
“I would hate for it to be an unfair trade. Until better arrangements can be made, I suggest that Jules travel back with you. This could be an opportunity for you both to reconsider the engagement and for us to find an equal opportunity to revise the contract. The resources in the Dormas province are quite impressive, and I’m sure we can come to some agreement.” I borrowed the arrogance that Mistress Stonewell used daily and forced myself to sound reasonable during my speech. I expected Josiah to scowl, but instead, I was rewarded with a small smile. Maybe the old Josiah was still somewhere in there.
“I see,” was all he said. “Well, I guess Jules and I will need to pack for our trip. We will put a hold on all trade until a more suitable agreement can be made.”
I looked over at Jules, and her mouth was hanging open in pure shock and rage.
“But . . . but Cyler, surely I can stay?” she pleaded.
“I’m sorry, Jules, you know how politics can be,” Jacob said with a smirk. He was practically bouncing with enthusiasm, and appare
ntly, happy with our little meeting.
Everyone made their way to the entryway. I watched as the Black family built a wall between me, Josiah, Jules, preventing them from speaking to me. Once outside, I pushed through to give Josiah one last hug. Regardless of my decision, I still cared for him in ways I didn’t quite understand. We had a toxic love, but there was love between us, nevertheless.
I heard Cyler practically growl when I pushed through their wall of bodies. I called after Josiah, and when he turned around, I cautiously put my arms out to hug him, not caring about my status or what anyone thought. He crushed my body to him, and I relished the warmth and familiarity of it. I knew deep in my soul that this wasn’t the end. I’d see Josiah again.
“This isn’t over,” he whispered to me.
No, no it wasn’t.
Chapter Twenty-One
Josiah and his men left within the hour. The Black brothers wasted absolutely no time at all in getting rid of them. Something nagged at the back of my mind that this was too easy, but I assumed it was my natural disposition to be the skeptic.
Jacob spent the rest of the morning trying to cheer me up. He helped me bake the cake for the Solstice Festival, and occasionally the others would visit us in the kitchen to check on me. I was treated like a porcelain doll, and part of me was annoyed by it, but the other part, thankful. As always, Maverick was most perceptive to my heartbreak, and instead of trying to cheer me up, he corralled everyone out of the kitchen so that I could work alone and in silence.
I had almost completed a four-tiered cake and was putting the finishing touches on it when Huxley and Patrick entered the kitchen.
Maverick didn’t immediately kick them out, so I wondered what they needed. Huxley plopped down at the kitchen table with a frown, but Patrick bounced up to me with a broad, flirtatious, grin.
“We got you something, beautiful,” his voice rang.
I politely smiled, but the emotion didn’t fully reach my heart. Huxley pulled up a brown sack and threw it over at me carelessly, causing both Maverick and Patrick to frown at him.
“Here. I don’t know if it’ll fit you, but you needed something nice for the festival,” Huxley said with a shrug.
I opened the bag to find a long, olive-green dress made of thin material. It was strapless, and the top was cut in a heart-shape with the fabric gathered in ruffled bunches. The rest draped delicately down in a straight line. It was beautiful. Stunning. Way too nice for me.
“Oh, I can’t possibly–” I began.
“Hush!” Patrick interrupted. “Don’t go back to being the martyr. You needed something nice, and we got it for you. Huxley even picked you out a nice necklace to match,” he said in a teasing tone.
I dug further into the bag and found a necklace draped loosely at the bottom. It was three cords of thick pearls braided together into a beautiful necklace.
“Thank you” I whispered.
After thanking them again, Maverick ushered the twins out of the kitchen so that I could continue to be alone. The silence was comforting and allowed me to think about the decision I made and the repercussions that would follow. It was so strange to think how someone that was once my entire life had now become a stranger, someone that I could no longer be with. As the day ended, I convinced myself that this wasn’t a matter of me choosing my new family over Josiah. Ultimately, it came down to the freedom and friendliness of the Dormas province. It was the opportunity to bake, to paint. To spend my free time how I please.
I decided that I loved myself more than I loved Josiah. I decided that I wasn’t willing to give up on the opportunity for happiness to have a lifetime of being with him. The fact that I got to spend time with my new family was merely a bonus.
While I cleaned, Maverick got up from working on the computer and helped me wipe down the counters and dry the counters.
“Feeling better?” he asked.
I nodded in response. “Thanks for knowing what I needed,” I said.
“You're like me,” he began, “You like to process things alone. My brothers have good intentions, but they don’t understand.” Maverick grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I looked up at him and then leaned in for a hug, resting my head against his chest and listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. I felt his lips touch the top of my head, and I moved away before the affection led towards something more than brotherly.
The next day, I put the finishing touches on my cake, and Patrick and Kemper brought it to the bakery to be stored in their vast freezer before tonight. I felt proud of it and hoped that everyone would enjoy all the work I put into the large dessert.
Becca came over in the early afternoon to start getting ready. I didn’t feel like pampering would take that long, but I assumed her intentions were more focused on getting an eye-full of the Dormas Leadership Council than on helping me get ready.
She gushed jealously at my dress, so I let her sift through the many dresses Jules left behind in her closet. I realized that many of the other Walker women wouldn’t have nice dresses to wear, either, so I sent a trunk full of them to Kemper to be distributed at the Walker Dorms. I wanted everyone to feel beautiful.
She meticulously painted her face with the precision of a marksman. I watched her with careful trepidation. She was stunning without the stuff, but it added a sense of glamour to her appearance.
She put a fragrant oil in my hair to smooth my many curls and applied a light-black salve to my lashes to make them appear thicker. We both put a radish paste on our lips to give them a red hue. Hours had passed when she was finally done, and when I finally looked in the mirror, I was pleasantly surprised to see the woman staring back at me.
My green dress fit my figure perfectly. It clung to my curves and kissed the floor elegantly. I liked how it flowed when I moved. My ordinarily wild hair still maintained its shape but seemed tamer. My face looked the same, but my expression held hope that wasn’t there before. I felt beautiful. Worthy.
Becca picked a seductive, red dress that showed off her toned back and complimented her bright-blonde hair. I knew that the men in this town would be drooling over her. We didn’t speak much, mostly because we found early on that we didn’t have much in common, but the silence was comfortable and noncompetitive. Becca was a pleasant companion.
Everyone left early to set up for the festival, leaving me alone in the house. I contemplated not attending last minute, since I wasn’t feeling in the mood to party. I still had this unsettling sensation that things were about to come to a head with Josiah.
Becca left long before I did, as she was eager to drink and dance with the handsome men that worked in the mines. She liked that men easily outnumbered women, and she felt desired. I stayed behind, counting the minutes until I knew that I had to make an appearance otherwise someone would come and drag me to the party.
While walking down the street lit by torches and candles, men and women around me talked loudly and flirted with one another. A few children ran up and down the road, chasing each other with sticks and bugs. It was a pleasant atmosphere, and I enjoyed the waves of happy energy that rolled off everyone.
I eventually made it to the General Store where I checked on the cake to make sure it was ready to be enjoyed later. After spending more time than necessary touching up the icing here and there, I walked back outside where I bumped into a man that was walking backward while joking with his friends. He turned around and immediately started apologizing.
“Ah, lass, I’m sorry I hit ya,” he exclaimed. “But, I can’t say I’m sad to have the opportunity to introduce myself. I’m Kindle.” He bowed respectfully, and I stretched out my hand in a polite greeting. He grasped it with sweaty palms and kissed it lightly, causing me to blush.
“It is no problem at all, sir,” I coughed out.
A loud cough from behind me made Kindle's eyes widen, and he dropped my hand immediately while stepping backward away from me. I turned around to see what had him worried and was surprised to see Huxley towering over
me and leering angrily at Kindle.
“We’ve been looking all over for you,” he said to me.
“Sorry, I wanted to check on the cake” I replied, but he gave me a look that said he knew that I was stalling from being at the festivities.
“Come on; we’re all by the bonfire.” Huxley then turned around without waiting for me, and I followed him sheepishly. He pushed his way through the crowd while I apologized to those that stumbled in his wake. He was once again angry, and it was because of something I did.
“Did I do something to anger you again?” I yelled over the loud, folk music. A small band was playing outside, close to the bonfire, which made it hard to have a conversation. Huxley didn’t answer and continued walking. A man that was dancing pushed into me, causing me to fall. A light scream escaped my lips, and Huxley whirled around to see what the cause of my distress was. The gentleman that created my fall immediately held his hand out to help me up and was profusely apologizing when Huxley slammed a flat palm into the center of his chest, pushing him backward and down on the sandy road.
“Watch the fuck where you’re going,” he growled. I stared openly at Huxley while he bent over and picked me up, in the process he pushed himself closer to me, causing my heart to race.
“He didn’t mean to,” I squeaked. I felt Huxley tremble against me, and I tried to move away, but his arms locked around my middle, forcing me to stay put.
“Just . . .,” he sighed while leaning in closer to my ear. “Just dance with me,” he demanded.
He began moving against me, not giving me the chance to say no or escape. It wasn’t like the formal dance I shared with Kemper or even the heart-thudding sensual one I had with Cyler. This dance was a hard struggle between two bodies fighting their attraction to one another. It was both a tense dance between strangers and a passionate collision between lovers. It was intense. It was terrifying. I rested my head against his chest while our hips moved together against the beat. Couples around us were also pushing against one another sensually in a way that made the entire dance downright exotic. A light tap on the shoulder immediately made me go rigid and distance myself from Huxley. Our eyes connected before I turned to see who was trying to get my attention, and he peered at me with heated eyes.