Colton's Secret Son

by Carla Cassidy

  She sank down next to him and placed a hand on his thigh. “Don’t beat yourself up, Knox. I know you’re doing everything you can.”

  “It’s not enough. I’ve never been enough.” He looked at her with the shine of tears in his eyes. “I wasn’t enough for my mother to love, I couldn’t get it right with you and now I can’t find my son.”

  In all the years she’d known him, Allison had never seen him so distraught, so broken. As tears began to shine on his cheeks, a sob escaped her and she wrapped her arms around him.

  He pulled back from her just enough so that his lips could meet hers in their shared heartbreak. She didn’t know if she tasted the salt of his tears or her own. She did know his lips tasted of anguish as she knew hers did.

  When the kiss ended, they remained in each other’s arms, not speaking, for words were inadequate to express the emotions they both felt.

  They held each other for a long time as the night deepened. The house was quiet around them, a heavy silence that pressed against her chest. It was the silence of grief.

  It was after one when they finally released each other. “Knox, go to bed,” she said softly.

  She had no idea how much sleep he’d gotten over the past three days, but she suspected it hadn’t been enough. He’d been up before her every morning and awake much longer through the nights.

  She had to be strong now not just for Cody, but for Knox, who had been there for her since this whole ordeal had begun.

  “I’m okay,” he replied.

  “You’re not okay. You’re exhausted and you need to get some sleep,” she said firmly.

  He stood and wore his weariness, his defeat in the slump of his shoulders and the slightly glazed look in his eyes. “I really thought he’d be home tonight. When we left city hall, I was so sure we were going to bring him home.”

  “I know. Come on, Knox, you need to get some rest.” She grabbed his hand and together they went up the stairs to the room with the stars on the ceiling, the room that still held the scent of Cody.

  She stood in the doorway as he stripped to his boxers and crawled into the lower bunk. Only then did she approach him. She leaned down and for a long moment their gazes remained locked.

  She reached out and ran a hand over his face, like a blind woman learning Braille. Cody had his bright blue eyes, but he’d also inherited Knox’s bold brow and his cheekbones.

  It was a face she loved. It was a face she had always loved, and she’d seen the shadows of it every time she’d gazed at her son. At this moment, she’d never felt so connected to Knox, but she knew it was the unity of a couple in crisis and she had no thoughts for what might come after this.

  “Sleep,” she said and then left the room.

  She went into her room and undressed. She pulled her nightgown over her head and thought about what Knox had said about his mother.

  She hadn’t realized until now that there was still a part of him that was a little boy who had yearned for his mother’s love. He’d been diminished by the very woman who should have raised him up, neglected by the woman who should have loved him with all her heart and soul.

  Allison hadn’t truly recognized the scars left in his soul until tonight, when he’d wept in her arms.

  Damn Livia Colton. The ripple effect of what she’d done to her children should put her in jail for life. And if she was behind Cody’s kidnapping, then God help her.

  She got into bed and within minutes she was asleep and in a nightmare. Mommy, please find me, Cody’s voice cried out through a shadowed landscape. I need you, Mommy. The plaintive cries pierced through her heart.

  She awakened with a start, her breathing ragged and as if she’d run for miles and miles. A faint light drifting in through the window let her know it was morning. She was more tired than she’d been when she’d gone to bed, but she wearily pulled herself up and got into a shower.

  It was Monday morning and she had to face the fact that they probably weren’t going to find Cody before the exchange on Tuesday night.

  Dalton and Brett had yet to pin down the web page particulars. Both phone calls they’d received had come from different burners and all the potential places where Cody could be held had already been checked.

  They were running out of time. The clock was ticking down to the time of the exchange and she now had to be proactive. She got out of the shower and dressed in a pair of black slacks and a white tailored blouse and then stepped into a pair of high heels. Finally she pulled her hair into the tight bun at the nape of her neck and put on a dab of mascara and lipstick.

  She had business to attend to today, the final business that would hopefully ensure Cody’s safe return. If the kidnapper wanted money in exchange for Cody, then she’d get it.

  It was almost nine o’clock when she came down into the kitchen, where the men were all gathered as usual around the table.

  Knox looked at her in surprise. “You look nice...?” There was a definite question at the end of his words.

  “I’m going to the bank,” she said.

  He frowned and got up from his chair. He took her by the arm and led her out of the kitchen and into the living room. “What are you doing, Allison?”

  “I’m going to speak to Vince Watson. He’s the president of the bank and he can take care of what I need to do.”

  “And exactly what do you think you need to do?”

  She raised her chin. “I’m going to get the money we need to get Cody back. I’m going to mortgage this house and pull all the money out of my business account. That, along with my savings, should be enough. Vince knows me. He’ll give me the mortgage today and deal with the details later.”

  “And so when we get Cody back you’ll have no savings, no business and a mortgage hanging over your head.” He raked his hand down his jaw where the faint stubble of whiskers was evident. “We still have time, Allison.”

  “The exchange is going to happen tomorrow night. Knox, we’re out of time and all out of clues,” she replied fervently. “I know what I have to do.”

  “You can’t give the kidnapper what she wants. You can’t destroy your life to pay off my mother. She doesn’t get to win, not this time.” His eyes blazed with barely suppressed fury.

  Allison held her ground. She raised her chin. “I won’t take a chance on Cody’s life.”

  He grabbed her by the shoulders. “Just trust me, Allison. Trust me this one last time. We’re making plans in case we have to do the exchange. Give me one more day. I swear we’re going to get Cody back, but you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to destroy your life.”

  She stared deep into his eyes. Trust him? There had been a time when she’d given him all the trust she had, but he’d broken that bond. Still, she saw how important it was in his eyes. He needed her to trust him right now. “Tell me the plan,” she finally said.

  “Come back into the kitchen,” he said.

  She followed him and when he motioned her into the empty chair at the table, she sat and looked at him expectantly. “She wants to know what we’ve been talking about,” Knox said.

  “If nothing pops before tomorrow night, then we’ve been working out the best-case scenario for getting Cody back and capturing the kidnapper,” Dalton explained.

  Her breath hitched in her chest. “And what is the best-case scenario?”

  “If we don’t have anything else to go on by four tomorrow, then I’ll go to the bank. I’ve got about fifty thousand dollars in a savings account that I’ll get out,” Knox replied.

  She frowned at him. “You just told me not to get any money.”

  “I don’t want you mortgaging your future. Besides, consider it child support for the last nine years,” he said.

  “We don’t need the entire amount of money,” Dalton continued. “We just need some in a satch
el or suitcase to show and before the kidnapper knows all the money isn’t there you’ll grab Cody.”

  “You two will be in the front seat of the car and Dalton and I will be in the backseat hidden from view. You make the exchange and get Cody and then we’ll take down the kidnapper,” Brett said.

  A knot of panic lodged in her throat. “But we were told no cops. What if you’re seen? The kidnapper said Cody would be killed.” Her heart beat a little faster.

  “We won’t be seen,” Brett replied firmly. “If our kidnapper is Livia Colton like Knox believes, then we want to get her into custody and put her back behind bars where she belongs.”

  “Has everyone forgotten that this should be dealt with by the local authorities?” Wendall asked. “Sheriff Jeffries would be ticked off if he knew you all were making a plan without him being a part of it.”

  “I would prefer that man stays as far away as possible from the exchange site,” Knox replied with narrowed eyes.

  “He’s got to know that his presence, or any other presence from his men, would put Cody’s life at risk,” she protested. Oh, God, there were so many things that could go wrong with all this.

  She felt like Knox’s Ranger friends had a bigger agenda than she did. She just wanted Cody back. They might have arrived there with the specific goal to help Knox find his son. However, she suspected that when they realized it was possible Livia might be involved, their mission expanded.

  And could she really blame them? Anyone who managed to recapture Livia would become an instant hero. They would get their five minutes of fame by taking that woman off the streets once again.

  “We’ve got to make sure Jeffries stays as far away from the scene as possible,” Knox said to Wendall.

  “You’ll need to have that discussion with the sheriff,” Wendall replied. “He’ll listen to anything that’s reasonable. Whether you believe it or not, he wants to make sure Cody comes home safe and sound.”

  “I’ll make sure I speak to him tomorrow, if he isn’t too busy with more press conferences,” Knox replied drily. “I’ll let him know our plan and figure out a way to massage his ego.”

  Jim and Wendall both released small laughs. “He does like his ego stroked,” Jim admitted.

  “We’re not going to stop trying to find him before tomorrow night,” Brett said to Allison. “We’re just planning ahead in case we don’t get any more leads to follow.”

  Allison nodded at the dark-haired Ranger. But, she knew there would be no more leads. She had no hope that there would be any more information gleaned that would allow them to find Cody before the exchange tomorrow at midnight. All she had was a fragile hope in Knox and his friends that they would do whatever it took to get Cody home.

  * * *

  The morning passed with slow ticks of the clock and a burning frustration inside Knox that had now become as familiar as the sound of his own voice.

  Thankfully Allison had gone back upstairs and changed into a pair of jeans and a purple T-shirt that enhanced the deep gold of her eyes.

  He’d been grateful that he’d been able to talk her out of going to the bank. The last thing he wanted was for money to exchange hands unless there was absolutely no other way.

  Nobody had appeared this morning to offer support. He knew that most people probably believed Cody was dead by now.

  As Dalton and Brett continued to find whatever they could about the website, Knox paced the living room floor, going over everything in his mind.

  Somehow, he felt as if he’d missed something...something that might be important. He’d checked the Billings brothers, and Chad had been found innocent. They had looked in every single basement in town and had found nothing. So, what had he missed?

  Leonor.

  Thoughts of his sister exploded in his head. Was it possible she knew something about this? Had she been in touch with their mother? It was damned curious that Leonor had shown up there at this particular time.

  He stopped his pacing and turned to Allison, who sat on the sofa and stared out the nearby window. “I’m going to leave for a little while.”

  She looked at him with a frown. “Where are you going?”

  “Out to Mac’s. Leonor is in town and staying at the apartment over his stables.”

  She sat up straighter. “When did she get here?”

  “Sometime on Friday.” Damn, why hadn’t he gone to speak to her earlier. He’d completely put her out of his mind from the moment Mac had called him to tell him she was back.

  “I know it’s a long shot, but it’s odd that she’d turn up here now. I just want to go have a talk with her.”

  Allison got up from the sofa. “Do you think she might know something about your mother?”

  He jammed his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know what to think about her. But at this point it won’t hurt for me to go and talk to her. I shouldn’t be long.”

  “Then I’ll see you when you come back.”

  He nodded and then went out the door. Before heading to Mac’s ranch, he parked along the road by the home that had been taken from them.

  La Bonne Vie was made up of three hundred acres of beautiful grazing land. It had a natural spring that provided the best water source around for most of the local ranchers.

  The gorgeous French country house sat up on a hill with a long drive and a big fountain in front. Inside, there were seven bedrooms, eight baths and a grand stairway that Livia had loved to use to make an entrance at the many parties and galas she threw.

  They hadn’t just lost their house when it was confiscated for Livia’s crimes; they had also lost their family at the same time. Thankfully, Mac had stepped up and brought Jade and Claudia into his home, while the other children had all scattered to the wind.

  He’d stayed in Shadow Creek and destroyed the one relationship that might have saved him: Allison. She’d been right when she’d told him that for years his choices had been driven by his relationship with his mother.

  It had been the most dysfunctional bond a mother could have with her child, and he’d been more than a little codependent in the madness.

  And it was time that he no longer gave Livia any more power over him. He’d wept with Allison last night and through his tears he’d realized just how much he still loved her.

  He had never really stopped. No matter where he’d been, no matter what he’d done, she’d always been a part of his thoughts.

  But was there enough forgiveness in their hearts to have any kind of a real relationship when this was all over? He couldn’t even think about it until Cody was returned safe and sound.

  He pulled away from his childhood home and headed for Mac’s, focusing his thoughts back to Leonor. It had been years since he’d seen her.

  Although she was only two years younger than him, they had never been really close, and the distance between them had definitely grown when Livia had been arrested and Leonor had continued to cling to Livia’s innocence.

  Mac’s ranch bordered La Bonne Vie and had always been a place of comfort for Knox and his brothers and sisters. The modest, three-bedroom house was painted white and boasted a big porch with a swing.

  Mac was seated on the swing when Knox pulled up in front of the house. He rose as Knox got out of the car. “Has something happened?” he asked worriedly.

  “No, nothing new,” Knox replied. He sank down into the swing next to Mac and told him everything that had been done in the past couple of days and about the ransom and proof of life they had received.

  “Mac, I’m more convinced than ever that Mother is behind this, and I’m here to speak with Leonor to see if she knows anything about it.”

  “Surely you can’t think Leonor would stay silent if she knew anything about the kidnapping of your son,” Mac replied in obvious surprise.

  “Ho
nestly, Mac, I don’t know what to believe anymore,” he replied with weariness. “All I know is I’m trying to leave no stone unturned in an effort to find Cody.”

  Mac gazed toward the stables. “As far as I know, she’s in the apartment. She hasn’t left to go anywhere since she got here.”

  “Then I’ll just head over there now.” With goodbyes said, Knox headed toward the stables in the near distance. He had lived in the apartment before he’d gone off to join the Rangers, as had Thorne for a while before he’d gotten his own place.

  Knox climbed the stairs that led to the apartment, and he had a sudden memory of Allison spending the night there with him.

  He’d attempted to cook her dinner and it had been a total debacle. They’d laughed at the raw chicken and overcooked veggies and had ordered pizza instead. And when they’d eaten they had fallen into bed and made love under a flowered quilt, believing that nothing could ever tear them apart.

  And then his mother had been arrested and the whole world had tumbled down. They’d both made mistakes that had guaranteed they would have no happily-ever-after.

  He shook his head to rid his thoughts of the past and knocked on the door. She answered and gasped in surprise. “Knox!”

  “Hi, Leonor.” He pulled her into an awkward hug and then released her. “Mind if I come in?”

  “No...of course not.” She opened the door wider to allow him inside.

  She looked just as he remembered her. Her bright red, curly hair fell to her slender shoulders and was a perfect foil for her pretty green eyes. She’d always hated her freckles and tried to cover them up, but today she was without any makeup and the smattering of freckles made her appear younger than thirty-one.

  “How did you know I was here?” she asked.

  “Mac told me. Why didn’t you call to let me know?”

  “I figured I’d take a few days to get settled in.” She gestured him toward a small, white table with four chairs. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “No, I’m good.” He sat in one of the chairs and she eased down opposite him. “What are you doing back here? Last time we spoke on the phone, you didn’t mention any plans to return to Shadow Creek.”