“Did you know?” I asked. “Did you know it was his time?”
‘It’s been his time for thirty years. This was always the way it was supposed to be. Whether you picked him, Craig picked him or the next person did.”
I accepted that, though I wasn’t all that fond of it.
My hospital stay was limited to getting a prescription of pain pills and sent on my way. At first they wanted to keep me, but decided against it since I felt fine.
By the time Artie and Brad arrived, we had hooked up the RV comfortably at a KAO campsite. There was something different about us all. We were no longer focused on one task. In a sense, we were lost.
Two weeks after the completion of the mission, all of us met up like I had planned. A meeting I worried I wouldn’t attend. Four days after my emergency room trip, an investigation opened up around Travis’ death. It ended quickly with no charges being filed against me, but it was unnerving. After all, how seriously do authorities take you when you tell them you were chosen by heaven to take on a task? My word did not free me on the inquest, the coroner confirmation of a heart attack did.
Two weeks into healing. Was it enough?
I told the group about Travis, and just like Bill had prophesized, one didn’t return, two found complete resolution, one had a gift, one contemplated not returning and one was heartbroken.
Scott was the most excited. He boasted the phone video of his mother. I saw it and Fr. Craig did. Brad and Artie were unable to see the image.
“That’s the way it is when I show most people,” Scott said. “They don’t see it. I do. I know it’s there.”
Scott found resolution and had the gift.
Barbara was the one who almost didn’t come back.
“There was a moment,” she said. “When my brother had me feeling guilty for leaving. I carried that and still do.”
I asked her if she was resolved and she replied that she was at peace.
Amanda, although she experienced resolution she was heartbroken over what she learned. How her mother knew all along and never told her.
Jenny’s story surprised me the most. She never died or crossed over. Ben had made contact with me, approached me, I happened upon Jenny. So it wasn’t her resolution, it was Ben’s. I didn’t choose her, I chose Ben.
She wanted more. She needed more. But accepted what she was given as the greatest gift of her life. There was still a sense of disbelief with her family. She was working through it.
After the mini vacation and get together, it was time to move on. With a promise to stay in touch, I bid farewell to Artie and Brad. They returned to Illinois. Craig had seven months remaining on his sabbatical and we decided to stick together, heal together, and hit the road.
We’d put the RV to use, be of service, help, do what we could for people. Go back and visit many of the ones that weren’t chosen.
Although my heavenly mission had ended, I felt my work was not complete. Craig and I had a kinship on a spiritual level and could do much more good if we worked together.
I did what I was asked to do. I found five people who needed to resolve and spend one more moment with a loved one on the other side of heaven.
I would take it one day at a time. A life had been lost, but lives had been changed in the process, and for the better. That alone would keep me going and motivated until the next person placed in my position sought me out. As I did with Fr. Craig. And just like Fr. Craig, I would help them every step of the way.
For all I had been through, my doubts and sadness … the end result was without a doubt, worth it.
Author’s Note
As many of you may or may not know, I write apocalypse fiction. I felt it important to explain why I wrote this very different book. Every day I log on to social media, and with the amount of FB friends that I have, a day doesn’t go by where I don’t see a post that tributes a lost loved one. Father, mother, sister, brother … child. I make it a point to read each post and pause in thought for the poster and the family. While social media has its downfalls, these tributes are beautiful and therapeutic. A brilliant way to share our feelings. These post were the catalyst that inspired a conversation. One post in particular, that read something like, ‘If I could have one more minute with you”, sparked a conversation that brought this book.
But in order to write this book, I needed more than my imagination, I needed real life. Would people take one more chance? What would they say? So, I asked my readers and Facebook friends if they would fill out a survey. The survey was simple in words, yet, it was hard emotionally to fill out. I deeply appreciated the time people put into these surveys. Each one touched me. Sometimes so much, I had to stop and breathe.
I revisited each survey at least a dozen times. All these wonderful people that had passed made such an impact in those close to them, they deserved in death to impact new people. To always, in a sense, be alive.
I remember when my own father died, it was a horrible loss for me. I created the character of Joe Slagel in his memory. Joe is fashioned after my dad. And I always believed a little bit of my father would always be alive as long as someone turned a page in the Beginnings’ books.
I apply that to this book. I wish with all my heart I could have written a chapter for each person that submitted a survey. Instead those who completed the surveys will see a little of their story throughout. I think everyone who has lost someone special can.
This story was not easy to write. For as short as this book is, it was emotional and personal to me. Everyone was so wonderful and amazing. The responses to the surveys and my emails thereafter, kept me going.
They took the time to fill them out and have graciously agreed to let me include them in this book. I have placed them here as a personal tribute. Please take a moment to meet the loved ones that made this book possible.
And from the bottom of my heart, I thank all of you who helped me make this book a reality.
TO THOSE WHO TOUCHED OUR LIVES
This book goes out with love, admiration in the memory of those who inspired this …
Cindi
Chris Stahl
James
Rick
Gabrielle Aiken Martinez Hastie
Benjamin Marble
Michael Deveau
Michael Anthony
Levearl
Bob
Jerry Wayne Beavers
Edward Norris
John Elliott
Frank Acuri
Oscar M.
Ron D.
Alden
Tommy
Sam S.
Stuart
Toni Jo
Hugh
Mr. James O.
Dorothy Wilcox
Doris (aka Memaw)
Eva
Connie Robinson
Dr. Allen
Clay
William A.
Bob
Jim
May Murray
Annie
Phyllis Hetrick
Ann
Bonnie Jean Moore
Lloyd Hester II
Gill Sproston
Patricia Leon
Shirley B.r
Choicie Green
Connie
June McLaren
Frances Nelson
Dorothy R.
Bonnie L. Kuehn
Bernie
Nancy
Harriette
Barbara
Jessie Bee Stewart Wissinger
Stephanie
Sasha
THE SURVEYS
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: RaniDae Tacey
Name of loved one: Cindi
Age: 49
Relationship: Aunt
How they died: Sickness
A little about the one who passed: My aunt helped my grandparents raise me. She was only 12 years older than me and was not only my aunt, but also my sister and my first friend. She was a beautiful, selfless woman, with a faith I still can’t find. She
passed away in pain unimaginable from ALS.
How would one moment change your life? Seeing her able to do everything this life would not allow her, maybe I could find faith again
What would you want to say: I wouldn’t want to say anything, I would be happy to just see her without pain , able to walk, run, sing.
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: Melissa Woodruff
Name of loved one: Chris Stahl
Age: 29
Relationship: Brother
How they died: Sickness
A little about the one who passed: He was a very caring person. Very funny and sweet. Unfortunately with alcoholic parents, he started drinking at a young age. He died of cirrhosis before he turned 30.
How would one moment change your life? It would make me feel better if I could apologize for not being there more when he was sick.
What would you want to say: I love you and thank you for giving me those last few lucid moments before you left.
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: Brenda R
Name of loved one: James R
Age: 23
Relationship: Brother
How they died: Accident
A little about the one who passed: My brother was a hard working, hard playing man who enjoyed his short time here. He was messing around with his hand gun one night with a buddy, the safety malfunctioned and he accidently shot himself. He died instantly. He loved his family and friends and was the “great protector” of his siblings although he was the youngest. He liked to play pranks, laugh and tease.
How would one moment change your life? It would help with some closure if I knew that he was with our parents, that he was okay and that he knows how much we all really love and miss him. I had a dream shortly after he died where I walked into my mom’s house and he was there, on the couch. He jumped up, grabbed me and while swinging me around he kept saying I am sorry, I am so sorry, I am fine. It would mean everything to me to know that these things were true.
What would you want to say: I love you and are you alright? You came to me in a dream and I really believe it was you!
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: Cindy
Name of loved one: Rick
Age: 53
Relationship: Brother
How they died: Self Inflicted
A little about the one who passed: My brother disappeared 2 years ago without a trace. I feel he went to a hidden spot and committed suicide because he came to me in a dream so this is maybe a death. We don’t know. I think so
How would one moment change your life? I would know what really happened and if he did what he was accused of doing
What would you want to say: Why did you leave us this way with so many questions?
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: Ione Couch
Name of loved one: Gabrielle Aiken Martinez Hastie
Age: 33
Relationship: Child/Daughter
How they died: Natural Causes
A little about the one who passed: Gabi had only been married for 2 months, she had been in Australia for about a year and a half. She had a lot of issues mental and physical that were not addressed. She was retired Army. Newly married she was also a stepmother.
How would one moment change your life? I do not know anything about my son in law. I only know what he has told me about her life the last year and a half, about her death. When she died in June I couldn’t grieve as her niece and nephew were here for the summer. When her body was released in August I wasn’t able to go to Australia for the funeral. We didn’t have the money to bring her body here. Sometimes it feels like it didn’t happen.
What would you want to say: What happened? I had just talked with you on the phone 3 hours before you were found. It is not known yet how she died,
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: Stacy Ruff
Name of loved one: Benjamin Marble
Age: 31
Relationship: Child/Son
How they died: Accident
A little about the one who passed: Determined against odds, smart and a smart ass, robust
How would one moment change your life? I relive every moment of Ben’s life and feel sad and guilty for the moments when I wasn’t enough, when I didn’t do the right thing, when I didn’t make enough time. When I let life get in the way and didn’t choose love. In my head I know he knows how much I love him and that he forgives me, but to have one more moment when I could say and share with him how much I love him and how sorry I am if I ever made him feel unloved or not perfectly Ben just like he is. I know in my head that he knows how much he was loved and treasured but one more moment would allow me to know it in my heart. To be able to say I love you for always and please forgive me for when I fell short, also to have him say I love you Mom, and there is nothing to forgive, those are all little things that don’t matter in the love we have.
What would you want to say: Please Forgive Me
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: Susan P.
Name of loved one: Michael Deveau
Age: 22
Relationship: Child/Son
How they died: Accident
A little about the one who passed: Michael was a joy to be around. He loved life and his girlfriend.
How would one moment change your life? I never got to say goodbye. He was at my house two days before the accident and I let him leave without telling him to wear his seatbelt or telling him I love you. I didn’t hug him one last time.
What would you want to say: I love you and miss you every minute of every day.
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: Sophia Neuzil
Name of loved one: Michael Anthony
Age: 0
Relationship: Child/Son
How they died: Natural Causes
A little about the one who passed: Out of the 4 lost, this one I knew the sex of and we named. I lost him when I picked up something heavy early in pregnancy and I bled for those 7 months.
How would one moment change your life? Being able to hold him and the others, being able to express my love, knowing I would be able to see them again when I die. To know his personality, his face (and the others).
What would you want to say: That even though he was not born that I love him as a mom would a living child. And want to make sure he is ok; did he get another chance to be a baby? And that when I die can I spend my afterlife with him (them).
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: Susan Hayes
Name of loved one: Levearl
Age: 83
Relationship: Father
How they died: Sickness
A little about the one who passed: My dad was wonderful! He was so funny and loved to tease others. He and my mom were married for over 60 years. They were great partners and even greater parents. My dad’s weaknesses were my mother’s strengths. My mom’s weaknesses were my dad’s strengths. He was the patriarch of our family even though he was the middle child of 3. He had a brother who was about 8 or 9 years older. His sister was 11 years younger. He was an excellent role model. He worked hard as the manager of a company that manufactured clothes for our armed services. Daddy taught us to be responsible adults but he also taught us to enjoy life, to treasure family, to laugh out loud and to never give up. He had an opinion about everything and was stubborn as a mule. I miss him every day and will forever.
How would one moment change your life? I know my daddy would hold me close, make me feel like an idiot for how stupid I’ve been, but he would tell me he loves me anyway. Then he’d tell me to straighten up and get my life in order.
What would you want to say: Daddy I love you and miss you more every day. I hope you know how much I have learned how to be a good person. You were right about most things and I wish I had listened better. Please forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made since you passed. Thank you
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
&nb
sp; Name: Cathy
Name of loved one: Bob
Age: 68
Relationship: Father
How they died: Sickness
A little about the one who passed: He worked hard all his life and was in the parachute regiment in the 2nd World War. I was proud of this and had happy memories of childhood, like we would go to the park on Sundays and my twin brothers and I would keep finding pennies in the grass as we walked and it wasn’t until I was an adult that I found out dad was flicking them over our heads for us to find. When I was 12 things changed my brothers were sent away to a special boarding school as they had bad eyes and my dad started to abuse me.
How would one moment change your life? I have forgiven him but I still need to know why me, out of 3 daughters. What was it about me that made him do this to me.
What would you want to say: I want to ask why.
OTHER SIDE OF HEAVEN SURVEY
Name: Amber Williams
Name of loved one: Jerry Wayne Beavers
Age: 36
Relationship: Father
How they died: Natural Causes
A little about the one who passed: I was 2 1/2 when my father died in his sleep. I am now one year younger than him when he died. He drove a wrecker in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma where we lived. I have only heard things about him from my mother. She has crazy stories, and he was unfaithful to her. I have a half sister around my same age. I still would love to meet him. My sister got a ticket when she was of driving age, after they had removed his gravestone due to not being able to pay for it. I remember going to the court meeting for that ticket.
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