Two of Hearts

by Alexa Jackson

  - Sometimes - I stop the movement of my hand on your skin and hold your chin, forcing her to face me - but none of them compares or had the same importance as to what we had yesterday.

  The smile this time is broad and genuine.

  - We will do this before?

  - Do you want? - I ask, surprised.

  Of course, it always surprises me, but I never thought that this world could lure her. I had acted on impulse, driven by jealousy and desire to prove to the world that it belonged to me.

  - Actually, no - she takes a deep breath and puts more strength in his embrace - I mean, I want to make others happy nights like this. Other parties. Both of us. But this here ...

  She looks around the room. I read in her eyes what she meant.

  - Benjamin, his family, our friends. What we have is enough for me - she stares at me doubtfully - It's enough for you too?

  Reflecting seriously about six years before meeting her, thinking of all my experiences and everything I lived before it, adding all this, do not come near the happiness that I have today.

  - What we have our family, are not enough for me - I turn to getting over it - are needed. As necessary as the air I breathe. Are you keeping me alive, happy and fulfilled.

  That frank and smile full of love I need every day.

  And only when she falls asleep in my arms that I get out of bed. I put my clothes, prepare coffee and leave a note on the tray if she wakes up before I get.

  - How did he behave? - I ask my mother as she hands me the missing part of my heart - was obedient with Grandma?

  His arms and legs flapping in the air. He's happy to see me, and this is like a punching my chest fist.

  - You really have to take it? - My mother asks tearfully.

  I have no doubt: Benjamin will do what you want with it. Already do.

  - Do not worry - I smile touching her cheek - Has all the honeymoon to be with him.

  - Then get married soon!

  For me, I would marry today. But Penelope deserves something special. I know that her beliefs are strong, rooted, even if you are away. I can not just drag it to the judge nearest peace.

  My mother delivers the bag with all things baby. Warns that there is still a little milk that Penelope had taken the day before, the thermal compartment. At least enough until the alcohol in your bloodstream evaporate and she can resume breastfeeding without risk to Ben.

  We got home and meeting both the ticket and the intact tray. I decide to let her keep sleeping. I go to the office with the baby. The idea germinated in my head while driving, is increasingly persistent in my mind.

  - Hey, big guy - I place it standing on my lap to sit - you help Daddy?

  I get a muffled babble for her hand in her mouth. But his eyes are smiling at me. I know you are.

  - Okay, I can - sit it on my lap and try the camera with camcorder in a drawer - Be a good boy and fill the proud mom.

  Place the appliance in a position that I believe we take two and call, then pressing the Record. When the red light flashes, take a deep breath once or twice before you start talking.

  - Mr. and Mrs. Walker.. We were not properly introduced when I was in your city. Being honest, it was not a very pleasant meeting for any of us. I confess that I learned to hate them long before they know them, and more after that.

  This is not the ideal way to start talking to them. Perhaps even induce him to stop recording when they receive, but I need to be totally honest.

  - That's because I could not understand nor accept that you treat Penelope ... Your daughter, the way always treated. I know that losing a child is very painful. For many years I suffered the loss of a baby I could never know. He and his mother were in a car accident and died.

  No need to go into detail that, in fact, the child was my brother Liam.

  - So I shut myself to the world, to people. I felt that it was my fault. I know what you felt with Cory, and that I can understand.

  Take a deep breath, sending the node back to my throat.

  - I believed for many years that was not worthy nor deserve to be happy. It was like I was betraying them, it was unacceptable to me - keep trying to keep my voice steady - Until I know Charmosa. That's how I call it. My Charming. The woman, sweet and loving, who introduced me to a new world. Who taught me to love and be loved back. She taught me the power of the word forgiveness. So I was able to do it for myself. And I could go on, move on.

  Smile at the camera as if they were actually there. As Penelope was on our side. And to think it always brings a smile to my face.

  - She grew up hurting and thinking that you do not love her. And as they have been cold to her all this time, I refuse to think that way. Because now I am a father, and there is nothing more important in my life than my son.

  Kiss the baby's little head, and child scent packs me.

  - This is Benjamin. My and Penelope. Your grandson. Because I was too dumb and stupid, I lost the best months of his life. She believed that I did not love, when I love so much. In a way that you will never be able to understand. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. - Then, let's try to control the emotions - But, the more I will be present in the lives of the two now, this hole in my heart, for what I lost, will never be filled. But I also realized that I can and I will give them the best moments of our lives. I can still hear the first word that Ben learn. I'll be the happiest man in the world when he calls me daddy for the first time. I'll see your first steps. I will say that everything will be well on your first day at school if he is afraid of the unknown. Let's give brothers to him, and never feel alone.

  I dry my eyes, a little embarrassed to lay bare my soul so, so openly.

  - I still have many moments with him, and I intend to enjoy every one of them. You only know what you have to lose when you lose. I can assure you that have lost many things. I do not expect to accept me or like me. I ask for a moment, look at this baby. He's beautiful. See how much love can give you. And to forgive. I just want my son to be loved by grandparents, uncles, cousins, and for you too.

  Benjamin babbles and kicks the air. My chest inflates love. That's my smart kid.

  - I'm going to marry your daughter, the church, as it should be, even if we skipped a few steps - declare, retaking control of my voice - I wish you were present, and it certainly will very happy. You can make part of our lives or not. It is a decision that only up to you. But I hope you make the right choice.

  I caught the baby's hand, and he immediately secure strong my finger.

  - Say goodbye to Grandpa and Grandma, dear.

  his hand the balance in the air and turn off the camera then.

  Transfer the video to your computer. Peter know what to do so that the message reaches them.

  - Adam?

  Shock, staring at her as soon as I press the send.

  - What are you doing?

  Penelope walks up to us, and I down the notebook display. Not given to save the camera, I do not know how she heard or when he arrived.

  - Benjamin and I were making a video - say, wishing she has not seen anything - a very important conversation.

  Penelope sits on my lap and gets the free hand of the baby.

  - And what was it?

  - Do not be curious -guardo the device back in the drawer - is our business.

  Even if she Rummage then moved by curiosity, transfer the file to your computer. I just have to remember to delete the folder later.

  - Humm - she pouts, feeling excluded.

  I do not want it set expectations ahead of time. Until after the wedding ceremony we have no news of them, then I tell what I did. For now, I can only pray it works out.

  - Help say it was a gesture of love for you?

  With a mischievous smile and a passionate look, his lips touch mine.

  - I love you - she says between my lips.

  And the words, again, are tattooed in my heart.

  Chapter 49

  Penelope

  - You think this is really n
ecessary? - I ask for the tenth time while waiting to be seen by the medical - I just drank too much.

  It is the first hard look I get it long ago. That look of do what I ask and do not accept discussions. I even think, say, "cute", all this concern me, but it was only my stomach churned to have gone a little overboard.

  - Honey, no one has hangover almost three days - Adam holds my hand, and I notice that it is cold - There's something I do not know?

  It is not just a momentary outbreak caused by fear and insecurity that I might be sick. He's really worried about me.

  - Adam ...

  - MS. Walker - the nurse leaves the room before us and look at me. - Dr. Reynolds will serve her now.

  My answer that there is nothing wrong with me had been in the air with her arrival. I reached for the bag of Ben in a chair, but Adam is faster. Let him enter the front with the baby, just to be able to enjoy a bit more the two. Who knew that a man holding a baby on one side and the other of the bag could be so sexy? Well, all the women who crossed the hall and did not make the slightest effort to disguise greed.

  And while I digress with a silly and proud smile on his face, the nurse look at me, certainly wondering if I was some kind of idiot. Recupero me and step through it, grinning widely. I sit in the chair next to Adam.

  Dr. Reynolds is a black woman, around forty years. She has a nice smile, which instantly makes me relax.

  - Your child is very beautiful - she leans to play with the feet of Ben, of course, the woman gets me through - So? What are you feeling?

  Avoid looking at Adam when I adjust myself better in the chair. Eliminating the unlikely hangover without end, there is only one reason for my unease.

  - I threw up a few times in the morning ... - start, but I'm cut by Adam.

  - Every day - he stares at me seriously as I was trying to hide something from the doctor.

  - Three days, to be exact - I fix it and come back to face the doctor.

  - Also feel dizzy and almost fainted twice - he adds these two details to the list, and see medical help smiling - can not be normal.

  She clears her throat and makes maintain professional posture while noting something on my record.

  - I'll ask for a blood test and urine to start - it continues writing, oblivious to the unhappy looks that Adam gives you.

  Dr. Reynolds delivers medical guide and thank you, ready to get up when Adam manifests itself again.

  - Only that? - He looks at her as if speaking with a medical resident, not a trained and experienced professional - will not ask for a check-up?

  The smile is replaced by a look I'm already used to it, soon after it is replaced by a steady gaze.

  - For now yes, Mr. Crighton. With the results of these tests, I will say to ask others. You do not have to worry about.

  It leads us to the door. From there, she asks the nurse lead me to the examination room. And if it was Benjamin start complaining, I think Dr. Reynolds would know how much a Crighton can be insistent.

  - He's very protective, is not it? - The nurse indicates the chair and the support that I put the arm.

  I lean to read your name tag before answering.

  - You have no idea how much, Mrs. Bickel..

  As she can not imagine everything we went through, what he has to do so. I can not even feel angry, because if it were otherwise, I would be going crazy with the possibility that he was sick

  - You can call me Cassy.

  After gathering a sample tube of blood and talk a little about children, she hands me the container for urinalysis and a glass of water, if I need to. Almost fifteen minutes later, I return and give the pot to it.

  - We'll be ready after an hour - Cassy reports as we go back to the waiting room - There is a very cozy cafe across the street, if they want to stay and wait.

  I have no doubt that Adam would wait until the next day if necessary. So we ended up opting for the cafeteria in front of the hospital. The place is very charming, with green and white double chairs and square tables between them.

  We cookies and coffee, something I regret so the waitress put the cup in front of me. I should have opted for tea, but the memories of the teas that Aline offered me I still cause trauma.

  - Hey, you do not need to be so worried - pull away the cup to the side, trying to combat the new wave of nausea - I'm not sick.

  - It's not what it seemed - Adam demand my hand across the table - are hiding something? To save me?

  I look at Benjamin sleeping in her lap and then at him again. What I had to say, and in a few minutes would probably be confirmed by a doctor, let him crazy. I'm.

  - I suspected when I woke up that day throwing up. In fact, a few days before that. I found absurd, I mean, I'm still breastfeeding. But we do not worry ... - stop breathing and realize that seemed crazy to talk - so I think it is not so impossible.

  The expression on his face is as if I had just finished explaining a new theory of quantum physics. Adam is beautiful and completely lost with the amount of information that I played on it.

  - If you are not sick, what do you have?

  Rio throwing his head back. Men are so slow for these things. I did not want to play any kind of illusion upon it, without medical confirmation. But I've been there once, I know all the signs.

  - Pregnant - say just after recover laughs outbreak - Only pregnant.

  Glad we're sitting. Even though he holds the baby. Even though the place is almost empty at this hour of the morning. For the cry he gave not only did Benjamin start crying, as all faces turn toward us.

  - All right, dear - Adam rises, kisses the head of desperate little and begins to walk with him, trying to calm him - Dad does not want to scare you. Excuse me, excuse me ...

  When Benjamin cries become only soft sighs, it begins to return to our table. Not before stopping at every table along the way and give the news to the people as if they were our old friends.

  - She's pregnant - he repeats for a lone university a table in front of our - I'll have another child.

  - Congratulations! - She smiles and goes back to sticking your face in the books.

  Gradually, the little buzz back to normal. People return to their lives and conversations.

  - Pregnant! - With careful not to cranky Ben, he bows to me, I lift my face to kiss me.

  I feel my tears umedecerem my face. May be early, it may be stupid, maybe we're not ready for more this adventure. But I feel immensely happy.

  - I love you so much - he mutters, pressing his forehead against mine - Thank you.

  I see the emotion of tears sliding down her face. My automatically inflates breast immeasurable and impossible love to fit in my chest; it overflows.

  And half an hour later, our happiness is crowned by the confirmation of the doctor. I'm Pregnant. Again, but this time, there is a wide difference.

  I will not be alone anymore.

  ****

  To say that being pregnant should not be an aphrodisiac for a man, but Adam is definitely not any man.

  And so we put Benjamin in his crib, and I turned on the baby monitor, barely had time to close the door. I'm immediately pressed against the corridor wall. A tearing the clothes of another, wantonly and in a hurry, while our mouths devour.

  - Damn it! - It turns me against the wall, finally winning the fight against the clasp of my bra - Much better now.

  The only piece in my body is the lacy panties that in the excitement he rips, leaving me naked. My breasts fill his hands, and he rubs his nose on my neck, shoulders, and slide the line in my column. Your hands move by my side, moving slowly, leaving a trail of fire wherever he goes, and when they get to my buttocks and land on my thighs, separating them, I'm on fire.

  His mouth proves me, long, delicate licks that make my body writhe. Instinctively, I separate my legs further, giving more access to it, being gratified by his skillful tongue.

  - Oh ... - convulsed my moan is repressed by his mouth as he stands and takes mine.

  Immedia
tely my legs around his waist, and a hard and firm invested, I am being filled by him.

  Suddenly he stops. The strength carved on his face to keep track increases my need for more.

  - Did I hurt you? - The question is more breathy than itself - Baby ...

  - No! - I press my heels into his ass and press it further against me - I'm just pregnant. I'm not a crystal about to leave.

  He returns to move carefully, still fear that may, somehow hurt the baby. But when our passion becomes stronger and intense, her hips accelerate. From my lips out sobs loaded with pleasure. His, ferocious roars taken by the fullness of that share. More than sex; love.

  We got together the most powerful and overwhelming orgasm.

  ****

  We are in our bed, one facing the other. I do not know how long we are well, just talking to her eyes.

  - I'll be able to follow all this time - he says, proud - Every detail. The first ultrasound, to see her belly grow, watch the birth.

  He speaks with an excitement that makes my heart sigh in my chest.

  - God, another son! - Support my palm on it - That's crazy, is not it?

  Adam embraces me and I feel his chest shaking. He is laughing.

  - I was wondering how long it would take to happen - he leans to face me - You mad at me?

  - Brava? - Turn aside, and we were face to face again.

  - It's your body - it touches my belly in a very delicate way - The decision also had to have been his. But I wished so much that ...

  I put my finger in his mouth, preventing him from continuing.

  - It was my decision. I would have avoided if I wanted to - landing my hand on top of it - It's scary, I confess. Especially after all that passed in pregnancy Ben.

  He lies down and pulls me to him. Place the stir falling on my face behind my ear and looks at me seriously.

  - I'll take care of you, love - I feel in his eyes as if he were able to read my soul. Perhaps it is - I never feel alone. I promise.

  It is the pregnancy that makes me emotional. It is love that I see shine in his eyes. I never will feel alone in the world. Now, I have a family.

  My family.