In her head, Emily was totally OK with this. She certainly wasn’t looking at Jude as future husband material. She’d archived that dream where it belonged—with the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus. And she’d tried her best to keep her heart strong and safe but, whether she liked it or not, she’d become emotionally involved with Jude. On all kinds of levels.
Small wonder he’d sent her away yesterday.
He probably hoped that distance would bring her to her senses.
Just as she reached this miserable conclusion, the track emerged out of bushland into a burst of sunshine and a view of a gorgeous cove. Emily found a flat rock to sit on and looked down at the rocky cliffs, the pale yellow sand and the clear, clear water in three shades of aquamarine.
She’d worn a long-sleeved shirt to protect her from the sun, and now she peeled the cuff back to check her watch.
It was eleven-thirty, and Jude’s operation should be almost over.
Sickening fear churned in her stomach. Please, let him be OK.
Worries crowded in, and she found herself imagining what his life would be like if his optic nerve was damaged and he lost his sight. So many things he wouldn’t see—sunsets, wading herons, mountain views, words on a page…or on a computer screen…
Closing her eyes, she hugged her knees. ‘Hang in there, Jude. You’re going to be fine. You’ll be better than ever when this is over.’
Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and saw a white-breasted eagle swooping down from the heights, curving in a majestic pure loop, right in front of her.
Jude loved birds and, although Emily wasn’t normally superstitious, she couldn’t help hoping that this eagle was a sign that all was well.
Bending down, she picked a wild flower from a clump growing at the base of the rock she was sitting on. The flower was a small daisy, nondescript and pale brown, but she threaded it through the band of her sunhat and set off again, her heart once more hopeful.
* * *
‘Good afternoon. I’m ringing to enquire about Jude Marlowe. He had surgery this morning.’
‘Jude Marlowe,’ a young woman’s voice repeated. ‘And your name is?’
‘Emily Silver. I believe Jude left my name as a contact.’
‘We have Charlotte Kenney listed here as Mr Marlowe’s next of kin.’
‘Yes, that’s Jude’s sister.’ Despite her nerves, Emily tried to speak calmly. ‘But I understand he was also going to leave my name.’
‘Let me see… Can you hold the line, please? I’ll be back in one moment.’
Emily felt sick as she waited, clutching the phone, while a thousand scenarios flashed through her head. She wondered if Jude had forgotten to leave her name. Or, worse, that he’d changed his mind and no longer wanted her to be informed about him. Or the very worst possibility—something awful had happened and the nurse needed permission to tell Emily about it.
‘Hello, this is Dr Keira Arnold.’
A doctor? Fear exploded in Emily’s face. Was this bad news? Please, no.
‘I believe you’d like an update on Jude Marlowe’s condition,’ the doctor said.
‘Yes.’ Emily’s throat was so tight she could barely squeeze the word out. ‘Please.’
‘So you’re Emily Silver?’
‘That’s right.’
‘It’s good to speak to you, Emily. I’m an old friend of Jude’s.’
‘A friend?’ Emily gulped. Her first thought was that Jude must be OK. Surely this doctor wouldn’t be chatting about friendships if there was a problem. Then another thought clicked.
Was she speaking to the owner of the hiking boots? ‘Are you Keira, the Army doctor?’
‘Yes, that’s right. I’m actually Major Arnold, but pulling rank doesn’t go down too well in a civilian hospital.’
So this was the attractive dark-haired woman in Jude’s alpine photo, the former girlfriend who regularly returned to his home.
Keira Arnold said, ‘Fortunately, my leave has coincided with Jude’s op, so I’ve been able to keep a friendly eye on him from the wings, so to speak.’
Emily’s head was buzzing with a gazillion questions, but there was only one that really mattered. ‘How is he?’
‘The operation went very well. The neurosurgeon is exceptionally experienced, for which I’m grateful. Jude came out of the recovery room a short while ago and he’s in good spirits.’
Emily let out a shuddering whoosh of relief. ‘That’s wonderful. What about his vision? Is that OK?’
‘I’m afraid it’s too early to tell.’
‘Oh…I see.’
There were so many questions Emily wanted to ask, but she’d sensed a subtle vibe coming from this other woman. Despite the surface friendliness, there was an atmosphere that smacked of power play. Emily had experienced plenty of this in the course of her work at the bank but, under these circumstances, she wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.
Opting for caution, she said simply, ‘Thanks for telling me. I’m very relieved and if you’re speaking to Jude, please tell him I called and give him my…my love.’
‘Of course.’
‘And I’d appreciate hearing—if there’s any more news.’
‘All right. We’ll keep in touch. Oh, and by the way—’ the doctor’s voice dropped to a confidential purr ‘—congratulations on your engagement. I’m pleased that Jude’s finally taking the plunge.’
She promptly hung up.
And Emily almost dropped her phone.
Engagement? What engagement?
How on earth had the doctor arrived at that crazy conclusion? Jude would never have suggested such a thing.
It was downright weird. And unsettling.
Emily was shaking her head as she went through to the kitchen where her grandmother was adding fresh water to a vase of flowers.
Granny turned, her eyes cautious, yet eager for news.
‘Jude seems to be fine,’ Emily said.
‘Oh, darling, what a relief.’ It wasn’t long, however, before her grandmother was frowning. ‘You don’t look happy. Is there something else?’
‘I’m very happy. Truly, I’m thrilled.’ Emily gave a dazed shake of her head. ‘But, for some reason I don’t understand, the people at the hospital think I’m Jude’s fiancée.’
‘How interesting.’
‘It’s rubbish, of course. We’ve only known each other for about two weeks.’
‘A lot can happen in two weeks.’ Granny straightened an iris, then stood back to admire the arrangement Emily had bought for her yesterday.
‘Jude and I haven’t had a whirlwind romance, if that’s what you’re thinking.’ Emily stooped to pick up a fallen petal from the floor. The action helped to hide her guilty flush from her granny’s searching gaze. ‘It’s possible that the hospital wouldn’t pass on any news unless I was a wife or a fiancée, so perhaps Jude fudged the truth.’
‘Yes, that might be the story. Or perhaps it’s wishful thinking on his part?’
‘Granny—’ Emily sent her a withering look ‘—when did you become such a hopeless romantic?’
‘A few decades before you did, my dear. I’m afraid I may have passed on the gene.’
They shared a rueful smile.
‘Actually, that’s a sore point,’ Emily admitted. Pulling out a kitchen stool, she plumped down on it, resting her elbows on the bench. ‘I fall in love far too easily, and then I leave myself wide open to be hurt.’
‘Are you saying that you don’t trust your own feelings?’
‘Maybe. I certainly don’t understand how love happens so easily for everyone else and I find it so hard. Even when I’m convinced I’ve found someone perfect, he can turn out to be a dud.’
Granny accepted this with a thoughtful nod. Then she asked carefully, ‘How would you feel about Jude if he did lose his sight?’
The most awful ache bloomed in Emily’s heart. ‘I’d be devastated for him,’ she said softly. ‘But it wouldn’t change how I feel about him.’
No matter what happened to Jude, she would feel this same deep emotional bond with him. And if this sense of connection and caring wasn’t love, Emily didn’t know what it was.
‘But Jude’s a loner, Granny. Even if he was perfectly well, he wouldn’t be looking for a long-term relationship.’
‘A loner?’ Granny Silver’s eyes widened. ‘That surprises me. He has such a warm and engaging personality. Are you sure he’s a true loner?’
‘He has a definite reclusive streak, although I must admit he was a very hospitable host, in spite of everything else going on in his life.’
‘Perhaps he’s just waiting for the right woman, dear.’
Emily rolled her eyes to the ceiling. ‘That’s what he says.’
But I’m not holding out hope that I could be her.
Despite that last wonderful night together, Jude had sent her away, as if he was already preparing her for an eventual permanent separation.
Once again she’d fallen too quickly and too easily for a man who was, ultimately, no more suitable for her than Michael had been—or Dave, or Dimitri, for that matter.
Climbing from the stool, she went to the pantry. ‘I think I’ll make a bacon-and-macaroni casserole.’
Granny’s eyes met hers and they shared another smile. They both knew very well that since Emily’s early childhood, whenever she was anxious or disappointed or hurt, this dish was her number one comfort food.
* * *
It was the middle of the next morning when Jude rang. Emily saw his name on her screen and her heart leapt like a kite in a wind gust.
‘Hi, Jude.’ Her voice was all fluttery. ‘How are you?’
‘Not too bad, thanks.’
It was so-o-o good to hear his voice and to know he really was OK. She held the phone close to her ear, as if it could somehow strengthen the contact. ‘So everything’s going well?’
‘Apparently I’m on track. The physio’s just taken me for a walk, and I wasn’t too doddery.’
‘Fantastic. How are your eyes?’
There was a beat before he answered. ‘Hard to say. I’ve been told to be patient. How are you?’
‘I…I’m absolutely fine.’ Missing you.
‘Where are you?’
‘On the beach, actually.’
‘Sunbathing in a bikini?’
He asked this in such a hopeful, boyish tone that Emily laughed.
‘No, Jude. I’m a redhead, remember? I don’t sunbathe. I’m lying on the sand, reading one of your books, but I’m in the shade and I’m wearing a boring sunhat and a long-sleeved top.’
‘Very wise of you,’ he said warmly. ‘It’d be a crime to burn your lovely complexion.’
Encouraged by this, Emily said, ‘I rang the hospital yesterday and I spoke to Dr Keira Arnold.’
‘Yes, Keira mentioned you’d called. I hope she set your mind at rest.’
‘She told me your surgeon was top-notch and that everything went well, so of course I was incredibly relieved. But one thing was odd, Jude. Keira thinks we’re engaged.’
‘Ah…yes. Sorry about that.’ There was a small throat-clearing noise. ‘I told a white lie to the front desk. They’re nervous about giving patient information to anyone outside the family. But don’t worry; I’ve now set Keira straight.’
‘Right.’ Emily ignored the sinking feeling in her stomach. ‘Glad to hear it.’ She wondered if Keira Arnold had already known this and had been playing with her.
‘So when can I come to visit you?’ Emily asked.
There was an unsettling silence.
‘Can you hold off for a day or so?’ Jude said at last.
‘It…it’s up to you, of course.’ She hoped he couldn’t hear her disappointment. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow, OK?’
‘Yes, do that. I’ll look forward to it.’
After she disconnected, Emily sat staring out at the sea, watching wave after wave roll in and crash in a fringe of frothing foam. She told herself she should be glad Jude was well. That was all that mattered.
But even though his recovery was the only thing that really mattered, it couldn’t quite heal her niggling unease over Keira Arnold. The woman had a carte blanche invitation to stay at Jude’s home any time she fancied and she was, apparently, at his bedside night and day, holding his hand, mopping his brow, doing the whole Florence Nightingale act while Emily had been sent into exile.
Exactly what kind of ex-girlfriend was this Keira? Was she still angling to become Jude’s Mrs Right?
* * *
Hospitals, Jude decided, were the least private places in the world. There was always someone coming through his doorway—a tea lady, an orderly, a nurse, a doctor…
He barely got five minutes to string his thoughts together. Although that was possibly a good thing. Left alone, he’d spend far too much time thinking about Emily.
Even with the interruptions, he still found himself replaying snatches of their many conversations in his head, remembering the delightful sparkle in her eyes when she talked.
The more intimate memories damn near broke his heart.
Every moment he’d spent with Emily—in the apartment, or downtown, or in the mountains—seemed to be lit up in neon lights. His life was divided into two parts: before and after meeting Emily.
And now this…
This frustrating, humiliating illness.
It was all very well for the doctors to assure him that he’d be fine. In time. Right now, his head was a field of pain and his sight was scarily blurred. He had to wait six weeks for an MRI to determine the true success of the op.
Was it too long to expect Emily to wait?
* * *
The next day, gently encouraged by Granny Silver, Emily rang Jude and adopted the assertive tones she used in her office on a daily basis.
‘I’m bringing Granny to Brisbane to collect her new glasses, so I’ll call in and see you while I’m nearby.’ Without giving Jude a chance to object, she went on, ‘It would be silly to come all that way and not say hello.’
Jude agreed, but with less enthusiasm than she would have liked, and she arrived early in the afternoon, heart thumping unnecessarily hard as she reached the door to his private room.
A grey-haired man and woman were just leaving.
Somehow, Emily hadn’t expected this. Slightly bewildered, she nodded to them and they smiled and nodded back.
As she rounded the doorway, she saw Jude sitting in a chair in the corner, dressed not in pyjamas but in jeans and a white shirt, open at the neck, sleeves rolled up, looking very much his usual hunky self, except that he was wearing dark glasses.
There was a young woman in a chair next to him. Her hair was a mass of dark shiny curls and she was leaning close, holding Jude’s hand.
Emily told herself she didn’t care if this was another of Jude’s ex-girlfriends. Just the same, her knees began to shake.
Then the other woman saw her. She dropped Jude’s hand and smiled. ‘Here’s another visitor. You’re popular today, Jude.’
He tensed, turning his head to the door.
Emily had no idea if he could see her. ‘Hello, Jude.’ Her voice was as shaky as her knees.
‘Emily.’ He stood quickly, but he wasn’t smiling.
‘I’m Charlotte,’ the woma
n next to him said, stepping forward and smiling as she held out her hand. ‘Jude’s sister.’
His sister? Of course. Why hadn’t she thought of that? Pumped with relief, Emily grinned at them both. ‘Nice to meet you, Charlotte.’
‘I’m so glad to meet you,’ Charlotte responded. ‘Jude’s been telling me how much he’s enjoyed your company.’
‘Has he?’ Emily almost floated into the room and her grin was probably ridiculously wide as she shook Charlotte’s hand. Then she kissed Jude’s cheek, catching a quick heady whiff of his delicious aftershave.
‘You look really well,’ she told him. ‘You look fantastic.’
‘Thanks.’ His mouth tilted, not quite making a smile.
Clearly, he wasn’t as thrilled to see her as his sister was.
‘I wasn’t sure what to bring,’ Emily said, trying not to sound too easily deflated by Jude’s grimness. ‘I settled for grapes and dark chocolate.’ She turned to put them on the bedside table. ‘Oh, I see you already have grapes and chocolate.’
‘Sid Johnson brought them,’ Charlotte said. ‘The old police friend of Jude’s who’s just left.’ And then she smiled, defusing the awkward moment. ‘Great minds think alike.’
‘Can’t have too much of grapes and chocolate,’ Jude added gallantly. And then, politely, ‘Emily, take a seat.’
‘No, I’m fine, thanks.’ Jude was the patient—she couldn’t take his seat.
‘I’ll hop back on the bed.’ Already Jude was walking over to the bed, but his movements were super-careful and, when he sat, he grimaced slightly as he swung his legs up and settled against the pillows.
It was unsettling to see him moving so cautiously when just a few days ago he’d climbed a mountain with effortless ease. Emily realised she’d been holding her breath as she watched him. Her gaze met Charlotte’s and she could see that his sister shared her disquiet.
Charlotte was warm and friendly, however, drawing Emily into the conversation, and the three of them were soon chatting quite congenially.
Charlotte filled Jude in on her family’s news. Her eldest, Sophie, had started ballet lessons. Oliver skinned his knee falling off his trike. Daisy would soon be walking.
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