Rathmines Road
Page 6
DAIRNE. What’s that supposed to be?
EDDIE. An apology! It’s an apology!
LINDA. There you go, he has apologised.
DAIRNE. Fucking abysmal…
SANDRA. Not enough.
DAIRNE. Too right it’s not enough.
SANDRA. I need you to own it.
To understand what you did to me.
To my life.
To my person.
EDDIE. There are some things… some… events, moments, decisions… that I’m not proud of…
SANDRA. Is that what I am?
An event?
EDDIE. I am trying…
It’s just not that simple…
DAIRNE. It is actually.
It is simple.
EDDIE. Maybe I do remember.
LINDA. So you do remember!
EDDIE. Something… Something!… but it’s not like she describes.
No, it’s not like she describes…
I thought… I mean she was really drunk!
You were really drunk!
SANDRA. So?
EDDIE. And yes, we knew your crowd…
And I was drunk. A little.
And I was tired of being… you’re right… right about that. I was on the fringes.
I was not… I was not who I wanted to be.
And you… you and Donal…
When you were dancing.
Well, it was like a show!
It was like you were putting on a show on the dance floor.
And he had.
He was all over you, Donal…
And.
And him and Jay… they used to…
They did this…
I knew they did this…
They bragged about it.
They said that girls loved it…
They said that girls agreed…
So…
So I followed them into the room.
To the bedroom.
Like you said.
And we watched you and Donal… at it.
And then when he was finished.
When you were finished.
Well…
It didn’t…
I didn’t think it was…
What you say it is.
And you were so drunk…
I mean really.
To the others.
You should have seen her…
She was falling all over the place.
DAIRNE. Absolute scumbag.
SANDRA. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
RAY. You did… You did…
SANDRA. It so fucking wasn’t okay
It so fucking wasn’t…
Beat.
EDDIE. But I didn’t know that I broke your nose.
I’m sorry I broke your nose.
And I, I never felt very good about that night.
What happened.
I didn’t enjoy it.
If that helps.
If that’s any help.
DAIRNE. Jesus.
EDDIE. And I never… I never ever participated again.
Because I’m not that sort of man.
Am I, Linda?
I’m not that sort of man.
LINDA doesn’t respond.
SANDRA. But you are, Eddie Dunne.
Beat.
RAY. Can you leave now.
Can you two fucking leave please before I kill you.
LINDA. Not unless you promise.
Not unless she promises…
I’m not asking for me, Sandra.
I’m asking for my girls.
Don’t turn their father into a rapist.
RAY stands up… threatening.
RAY. What do I need to do?
What is it I need to do?
EDDIE. Okay. Okay. We will go.
And we can talk again in the morning?
How about that?
RAY. NO!
LINDA. I’ll fight you all the way.
Fight this all the way.
DAIRNE. Even when you know he did it, Linda…?
LINDA. What do you know? What do you know? Fucking nothing is what. This will stick, Sandra. Stick to me and my kids… and tear at us… destroy us but then you know that… of course you know that… that’s why you never reported it in the first place. That’s why you went away.
EDDIE. Come on, Linda.
LINDA. But you’ll destroy yourself too… if you do this.
And you’ll destroy your marriage.
He’ll never look at you in the same way.
Will he?
Will you, Ray?
RAY. Get out.
For the love of God GET OUT.
EDDIE. Linda!
He goes to grab her arm.
LINDA. Don’t…
Don’t fucking touch me.
They are gone.
SANDRA sits.
DAIRNE. Now lock all the fucking doors!
SANDRA laughs.
DAIRNE laughs.
RAY. Are you laughing?
Are you actually laughing?
DAIRNE. Not really.
SANDRA. No.
Not really
RAY. I think. I think I am going to be sick.
Excuse me…
SANDRA. Ray?!
RAY. Excuse me.
He is gone.
SANDRA. Jesus –
DAIRNE. Wept!
SANDRA. Yes he did.
Yes he did.
He wept.
DAIRNE. They are something else.
Aren’t they?
That pair.
Something else.
Slight pause.
Is that true – what you said about the passport?
The knife?
SANDRA. Of course it’s true.
It’s all fucking true, Dairne.
DAIRNE. How did I not know?
SANDRA. It doesn’t matter.
DAIRNE. It matters to me.
Those two years in London… it looked like you were having a ball!
SANDRA. I wasn’t. I was having a breakdown.
DAIRNE. Fuck.
SANDRA. Yes.
But I’m okay now.
I’ve got Ray.
I’ve got my kids.
And they are my focus.
DAIRNE. Of course they are.
SANDRA. So I want to go and talk to Ray, Dairne.
DAIRNE. Sure.
I’ll go…
SANDRA. Because I can’t lose him.
DAIRNE. You won’t lose him.
SANDRA. Did you see his face?
DAIRNE. Shock.
It’s just a shock.
SANDRA. I hope so.
DAIRNE. He’ll know.
He knows that you’re still the same person, Sandra.
Still that same girl.
SANDRA. Oh God…
DAIRNE. What!
SANDRA. Maybe I have destroyed everything… Just like Linda said.
DAIRNE. Stop.
Don’t doubt yourself.
That’s what they want.
You have to hold on to the truth.
You have to hold on to it.
RAY returns.
SANDRA. Ray?
RAY’s head is down.
Are you okay?
RAY. Yes. Yeah. I’m okay.
DAIRNE. I’m going to leave now.
I’m going…
I’ll be… I’ll just be up in Mammy’s.
For tonight… tomorrow.
If you need anything… Sandra.
If you need anything…
SANDRA. Okay.
RAY. Yes.
Eh thanks, Dairne.
DAIRNE hugs SANDRA.
DAIRNE (quietly). Hold it, Sandra, hold on to it.
She stands opposite RAY. They are awkward. They just shake hands.
Goodnight… Ray.
RAY. Goodnight.
She exits.
The two stand in the living room.
SANDRA. Are you feeling better?
SANDRA. Oh God, it doesn’t change anything, does it?
It doesn’t change us?
RAY. Of course it doesn’t change us.
SANDRA. But I’m afraid that you won’t love me now.
Don’t love me now.
RAY. How can you say that?
After… after everything… after the kids…?
Jesus…
SANDRA. No… no… please.
I don’t doubt you.
RAY. But you do.
You obviously do.
Because you never told me… and I… I thought we shared everything?
I thought we were everything?
SANDRA. We are.
RAY. Then I don’t understand… I can’t understand…
WHY?
I mean is it me?
Is it my fault?
That you thought you couldn’t tell me?
SANDRA. No, no of course not.
RAY. Then why?
SANDRA. Because… because how, Ray?
How?
And when?
When is a good time to open up that sore?
When we were dating?
When you asked me to marry you?
It felt, it feels like a curse, Ray.
It has always felt like a curse, like pus.
And it’s septic. Toxic. She’s right, Linda Levins.
She’s right about that. It sticks. Rape sticks.
Once you say it, acknowledge it.
And that is why I went away.
And that was the right thing to do because then I found you. I found you, Ray.
And I wanted you.
I wanted you so much.
And I wanted.
I want!
Our happiness.
Our love.
And why shouldn’t I, Ray?
Why should I stay tied to that night on Rathmines Road?
RAY. But I would never judge you.
SANDRA. Wouldn’t you?
RAY. No.
How can you even think that?
SANDRA. Because you made me feel good again, Ray.
And when I thought that wasn’t possible.
In a pure… in that pure way… and not feel…
…not hate myself.
RAY. Oh God…!
SANDRA. What?
RAY. I didn’t know!
I didn’t know that that had happened to you.
SANDRA. It doesn’t matter.
RAY. But of course it does.
Of course it does.
When we were together… when we were together, Sandra, I thought it was just us.
SANDRA. It was just us.
Of course it was just us.
RAY. Was it?
Or was it shadowed?
Please be honest with me, Sandra.
Our moments?
Our intimacy?
Was it shadowed by him?
SANDRA. No!
RAY. By them?
By that night?
SANDRA. No. No. Ray.
I swear.
RAY. Never?
She doesn’t answer.
Never?
SANDRA. No, not never.
RAY. Christ!
SANDRA. But only at the beginning.
Maybe at the beginning?
I was nervous… I was so fucked up, Ray… I was frightened…
RAY. Frightened of me?
SANDRA. No, no… you made me feel safe.
Pause.
RAY. It’s late.
It’s very late.
It’s so late.
And it’s been… it’s been a kind of cataclysmic night, Sandra.
SANDRA. Cataclysmic?
Cataclysmic? What the fuck is that?
RAY. I need to go to bed.
I really think we just need to go to bed.
Because I can’t… I can’t talk any more. Okay.
SANDRA. Why?
RAY. Because… because, Sandra.
Now everything… everything is starting to feel like a lie.
SANDRA. No. No. No.
Don’t say that.
You can’t say that.
We’re not a lie.
Séan and Emma are not a lie…
He is visibly distressed.
RAY. Jesus Christ… the kids.
SANDRA. This changes nothing, Ray.
I’m still the same person.
I love Séan and Emma.
RAY. But do you trust me, Sandra?
SANDRA. I trust you. Of course I trust you.
I trust you with every inch.
Every inch of me, Ray.
Inside and out.
And do you know?
Can you ever know?
The courage.
The love.
The love that that took from me.
He shakes his head.
RAY. I thought I did.
I thought I knew you.
SANDRA. Nothing has changed.
Nothing has changed.
SANDRA looks at RAY, terrified.
Beat.
Lighting and music return.
She doesn’t move. We only see her in a spot, just like page 52.
I can’t do it.
I can’t.
I will destroy everything.
I will destroy everything if I…
Slight pause.
I must… I’ll just…
I’ll close my eyes.
Close my eyes all over again.
Because I can’t win.
I can’t…
If I lose Ray, I’ll lose me.
And I don’t have the strength.
I don’t have the strength to start again.
I’ll just Close… my eyes.
The music and lighting stops…
SANDRA sits back on the couch.
RAY enters and sits next to her.
Scene Four
She holds his face. She starts to kiss his face.
SANDRA. You are everything. Everything. To me.
The kissing becomes more passionate.
I love you.
I love you.
You know that don’t you. I love you.
They start to make love. The lighting and music are loud and frenetic over their love-making. They stop. They are entwined.
RAY. God… I’m getting too old for this!
SANDRA. No you’re not. You’re amazing.
RAY. No you’re amazing.
SANDRA. You know I love you, don’t you, Ray.
You know I love you more than anything.
You and Séan and Emma. You are everything to me.
Everything.
EVERYTHING.
RAY. Who are you shouting at?
SANDRA. I don’t know.
Everyone maybe.
Everything.
RAY. Are you sure you’re all right?
SANDRA. Yes.
RAY. Are you crying?
SANDRA. No.
RAY. Are you sure… you look like you’re crying?
SANDRA. No I’m not… I’m fine. I’m honestly fine.
RAY. Okay. But what was going on with you this evening?
SANDRA. What?
RAY. When the others were here?
SANDRA. Nothing!
RAY. Nothing?
SANDRA. Do you mind moving… I just want to fix my dress.
RAY moves and keeps going with the opening scene exactly as at the top of the play but we don’t hear them any more, we just see the exact same movements and expressions as the music rolls in and the lights fade.
End.
DEIRDRE KINAHAN
Deirdre Kinahan is an award-winning playwright. She is an elected member of Aosdána, Ireland’s association of outstanding artists, Literary Associate with Meath County Council Arts Office and has served as a board member for the Abbey Theatre, Theatre Forum Ireland and the Stewart Parker Trust. Deirdre’s work is translated into many languages, published by Nick Hern Books and produ
ced regularly in Ireland and on the international stage. In 2018 Deirdre has new work at the Old Vic London (Renewed with Julie Walters), the Abbey Theatre Dublin (The Unmanageable Sisters – a new version of Les Belles-Soeurs by Michel Tremblay), Fishamble Theatre Company/Abbey Theatre (Rathmines Road), Meath County Council on Tour (Me & Molly & Moo, a play for children), Solas Nua, Washington (Wild Notes), Penatabus Theatre Company UK (Crossings) and Draiocht Dublin (House). Deirdre also has a number of other writing projects in development for 2019/2020. Plays include: Rathmines Road, Crossings, The Unmanageable Sisters, Wild Sky, Spinning, Halcyon Days, Bogboy, Moment, Hue & Cry, Melody, Maisy Daly’s Rainbow. For radio: Bogboy (RTÉ) & A Bag on Ballyfinch Place (BBC). Agent Representation: Lily Williams, Curtis Brown, London. Leah Hamos, Gersh, New York. ‘A ferociously funny and unexpectedly shattering writer’– London Metro on MOMENT 2011.
A Nick Hern Book
Rathmines Road first published in Great Britain in 2018 as a paperback original by Nick Hern Books Limited, The Glasshouse, 49a Goldhawk Road, London W12 8QP, in association with Fishamble Theatre Company and the Abbey Theatre, Dublin
This ebook first published in 2018
Rathmines Road © 2018 Deirdre Kinahan
Deirdre Kinahan has asserted her moral right to be identified as the author of this work
Cover photograph of Janet Moran, Charlie Bonner, Karen Ardiff, Enda Oates and Rebecca Root by Patrick Redmond
Designed and typeset by Nick Hern Books, London
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 84842 777 8 (print edition)
ISBN 978 1 78850 116 3 (ebook edition)
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