But he didn’t.
The door stayed closed.
Paige’s knees buckled beneath her as she fell to the floor, sobbing. In pain.
Epilogue
Gaitune-67, Paige’s quarters
“He lied, and he was a bad person. And I just couldn’t tell,” Paige sobbed. “What is wrong with me?”
“Nothing,” Molly confirmed decisively. “He wanted to be a better person, for you. You made him a better man. In just the short time he was with you, you gave him a reason to question it all.”
Paige lay on her bed, barely able to move.
Molly sat in the chair normally reserved for discarded clothes that weren’t ready for the laundry basket. “He came to see me you know?”
Paige lifted her eyes in Molly’s direction, unable to spare the effort to turn her head to actually look at her. “No. When?”
“Yesterday,” Molly told her. “He wanted to know how to fix things with you.”
Paige dropped her eyes again and relaxed back into her semi-catatonic state. “What did you tell him?” she asked, her voice monotone.
Molly crossed one leg over the other, and shuffled down in the seat some more. “To talk to you,” she paused, and shrugged. “And to get his shit together. No gray area, yadda yadda. But one thing was clear to me as we were talking… he was doing it all for you. He was prepared to change everything just to be with you. Just on the hope that you might give him one more chance.”
Molly paused again, wondering if any of it was getting through to her. Her eyes defocused as she remembered the conversation for a moment and then sighed.
“That’s the kind of guy you let stick around.” She looked down at Paige. She still hadn’t moved. “I know it would be easier to hate him - for what he did. And then for leaving. But that wouldn’t be fair to either of you. Or to what you had.”
Molly moved over and sat on the bed next to the heap that was Paige. “It will hurt,” she told her. “Maybe for a long time. But don’t let it become poison.”
Paige smiled a little, tears streaming from her eyes and soaking the bed linen. “You suck,” she said finally. “Can’t you just tell me he was a jerk, and the next one won’t be.”
Molly stroked her hair. “He’s a jerk, and he doesn’t deserve you.”
Paige chuckled and sobbed at the same time. “Thanks,” she said, humorously.
They stayed like that for several minutes.
Eventually, Molly rubbed her shoulder and moved to stand up. “Ice cream?” she offered.
Paige nodded. “Ice cream and then beer,” she added. “Lots of beer.”
Molly grinned. “We can do that. Come on then,” she said, encouraging the broken-hearted girl to haul herself off the bed and to her feet.
Paige grabbed a wad of tissues and dried her face, then disappeared into the bathroom to pull herself together. She reemerged, her face damp from washing it, and then throwing a wrap around her, the two girls headed out of the room to raid the fridge and freezer in the kitchen.
Author Notes - Ell Leigh Clarke
September 17, 2017
Thank yous!
As always massive thanks must go to Yoda/ MA for his constant support. A lot goes into producing and publishing these books and he deals with all of it – some of which can be emotionally draining and stressful. I’d like to acknowledge him for his endless patience and persistence even while he’s flying around the country fielding all manner of responsibilities. Thank you Yoda.
Uber thanks must also go to our awesome JIT team and Zen-Steve. Because of tight time-scales and conflicting schedules, they received this manuscript (version 1) unedited. I’m immensely grateful to them all for their hard work in turning this around and making it happen in time for our deadline.
I was also mega impressed by Steve Campbell’s optimization of the process. I managed to restrain myself from putting in the slack channel that his new tweak to the process was sexy.
Oops. So I guess I wrote it here instead.
Oh well. ;)
And as always I owe a debt of gratitude to you the reader who reads the stories (sometimes more than once!), writes the five start reviews, and provide an endless source of encouragement over on the facebook page. I cannot explain to you what a boost it is to hit the facebook page in the morning or during writing breaks and see your comments, your jokes, and your interaction with the random stuff I post…
You keep me writing.
Without you, these stories would not be told.
Thank you.
Additionally, I’d like to thank everyone who voted for us for the SXSW panel. We haven’t heard anything back yet, but looking at the number of likes, comments and shares we certainly out did the competition on that front. And it was thanks to you! Whether we get selected or not I know that we (which includes you) did everything possible to stack the odds in our favour. The rest it up to the judges now. I’ll keep you posted.
Thank you for supporting us in all the ways you do!
Dr. Mojito continued…
So there I am, midway through another root canal.
(You may ask why so much dental work. Nope – it’s not because I eat sugar or sugary drinks. Turns out these root canals and fillings were done so badly in the UK that lots of work is required to get me back to normal. Sucks for me.)
Dr. Mojito: do you know what this is, dear?
Ellie: (mouth open, full of instruments, sees him holding a threatening look syringe) ‘o. ‘hat?
Dr. Mojito: chloroform.
Ellie: (gasps.)
Dr. Mojito: It’s ok. I’m just using it to break down some of the filling.
Ellie: ‘o, it’s coz you ‘ant ‘o ‘op me giggling…
Dr. Mojito: hahahahhaa. Yes. This is true. Here… let me give you another injection.
Ellie: (tries to smack him but misses).
Later, to MA…
Ellie: You know Dr. Mojito gave me chloroform today!
MA: sounds like he’s trying to find a way to sedate you that actually might work.
Ellie: Hey! I wouldn’t be laughing if no one else was messing about…
+++
Healed
The last couple of root canals it seemed like the Author may need to take an antibiotic. Something she tried to avoid if at all possible. But each time she walked in the week following the risky work, and Mojito has asked about infection and antibiotic, here’s how the conversations went:
First time…
Mojito: any swelling?
Ellie: a little, for a couple of days.
Mojito: did you take the antibiotic.
Ellie: (shakes head) I didn’t need it.
Mojito: how come?
Ellie: I healed it.
Mojito: (frowning) how?
Ellie: I stopped eating sugar and sent it nice thoughts.
Mojito: (frowning even more). Seriously?
Ellie nods.
Mojito: (grunts and grumbles) Well ok. Let’s have a look.
Second time…
Mojito: any swelling?
Ellie: a little, for a couple of days.
Mojito: did you take the antibiotic?
Ellie: (shakes head) I didn’t need it.
Mojito: why not?
Ellie: I stopped eating sugar and sent it nice thoughts.
Mojito: Can you please stop healing it? I want to get a read on how good my work is!
Ellie: (collapses into a giggling fit which spread to whole staff).
Plus for some reason his brother (another dentist) came in to say hi while I had my mouth full of metal instruments. The author was perple
xed, but was later informed it had something to do with her laugh…
(Update: Ellie is still puzzled, but this week Mojito asked her if she wanted his brother to finish the last tooth).
+++
Dental Porn 2.0
So there we are sitting looking at x-rays and Mojito is admiring his work.
As he does.
Ellie: you know I told my friends about the dental porn…
Mojito: (laughing) really? You told them about the curves and dental porn?
Random consultant shows up at the door to speak to Mojito, mouth open, eavesdropping, and laughing - probably wondering what he’s walked in on.
+++
Keto Dramas
I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about this over the next few podcasts we record (and when MA actually gets started with it) but here’s what’s happened so far.
Last time MA and I were actually in the same room was a while ago at a writing conference. He and another author were talking about wanting to get into a certain type of good-looking jeans and made a pact to work on it: i.e. lose weight so that next conference they could be looking ‘all that and a bag of chips’.
This author was invited into the pact, but from some of the hell they were talking about in reference to the keto diet sounded like a form of self-flagellation that wouldn’t end well.
She opted out.
“I’ll cheer you on from the sidelines,” she agreed.
Fast forward several months to a few weeks ago and MA brings this up again. Wanting to lose weight. By this time this Author has been through hell and back already and no longer eats grain anymore. Thinking, “well, I’m half way there already, and having recalled that Dr. Awesome had mentioned it as a next step,” she listened carefully as MA talked about his hopes and dreams with keto.
For the uninitiated Keto is short for the Ketogenic diet.
Basically it’s a super effective method to trip the body into burning fats rather than subsisting off carbs for fuel. (From the research the Author has done recently, done right this is actually a more efficient way of fueling the body – and more importantly for a writer, the BRAIN!).
So when MA mentioned it again, the Author said: “Ok. I’m in. But lemme figure out how to hack the transition because I want to minimize the hell…”
MA agreed.
About a week later the Author had ordered up a shit tonne of materials to help the transition, including a super informative scientific summary of everything relevant to ‘going keto’.
The arrangement we had was that the Author was going to try the various hacks, and if they worked would pass them on to MA who would then also implement. (This also limited the amount of science he had to hold in his brain to implement each thing.)
The official reason is because he was travelling and didn’t know where to have the stuff shipped to.
Anyway, Ellie transitioned in about a week, and only lost about 3 days of effective writing time.
MA is still eating pizza and tacos.
There are lots of ins and outs to this process which we will update you on very soon on the podcast (www.lawnfaries.com), but the Author is noticing a massive increase in energy available for gyming and productivity. She is also able to focus longer and better. (The adaptogens and mushroom coffee are also proving indispensable in this too.) She is consuming waaaaay fewer calories and not feeling like she wants to chew her own arm off.
And she’s more emotionally stable.
Mostly.
Disclaimer - A ketogenic diet probably isn’t for everyone.
MA suggests that he’ll be doing it and then cycling back out of it when he’s into those levis-whatsit jeans. But Ellie thinks that maybe this is a new way of being in the world.
Time will tell.
+++
Sword vs Lightsaber
MA: I can’t believe you sent me a sword!
Ellie: It’s not a sword. (in her head, she added the word dumbass and heathen). It’s a light saber (patiently).
(I mean, who the fuck doesn’t know what a light saber is? And why wouldn’t you be excited about it? Oh right… not everyone has the same level of geek… Sigh.)
MA: It’s a big red dildo.
Ellie: well, good luck with that. I think at 5ft and however many inches girth that’s one hell of a dildo.
[Aside: Ellie, puzzled, wonders, is this what they mean when they talk about women not being able to park because guys tell them that six inches is yay small? :-0]
+++
Author Shenanigans Podcast
As you may have seen if you’ve been on the facebook pages MA and I have started trialing a podcast.
The true origins of this project are still disputed (MA is adamant that I twisted his arm, though I distinctly recall being laid out on the floor, unable to move, not knowing if I was even going to be able to continue writing let alone doing anything else, and saying that we’d have to revisit it when I was feeling better).
Anyway, it’s happening. As long as you keep listening/ watching, we’ll keep producing them.
So what is this podcast all about?
Mostly the shenanigans and stuff that happens behind the scenes when we’re talking business and/or story.
What you see is not far off our normal average conversations…
We’ve had a few episodes we’ve recorded about the differences between English and American (bastardised) English.
MA has also explained some southern expressions which have confuddled me beyond belief. (Honestly how ANYONE can use the expression “ridden hard and put away wet” and not go bright red from embarrassment, is beyond me. I’m blushing just typing it!)
I saw today MA slip some other phrases into our special slack channel for squirrels and shenanigans. He followed them with instructions: DO NOT READ…
So I can’t tell you what other topics he’s planning.
But if he gets his arse in gear about the keto stuff I’m sure we’ll have more drama to report on that front.
What is already becoming clear, as a number of people have pointed out – if this is indeed representative of how most of our conversations go, the fact that we get any work done at all is… well - astounding.
And yet somehow stories get published.
In our defense, as I recall telling MA waaay back when he first brought me on board and taught me to write, what’s the point in doing anything if it’s not fun?
And work isn’t work if you love what you’re doing. It’s just play.
So this is how we roll.
And long may it continue.
You can join in the fun here: www.lawnfairies.com
And at some point soon I’ll get an optin up so you can put in your email address and hear about new episodes as soon as they go live…
+++
General Fuckery
You may have seen this on MA’s website, but he thought it might be fun to add in here. When I first joined the KU I was asked to fill in some questions asked by the Actors Studio.
Here are my responses…
What is your favorite word? FUCK. Especially when uttered by a very smart guy. <3 #fuckingmagic
What is your least favorite word? See you next Tuesday… (can’t even type it!)
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Smart guys/ Time Lords.
What turns you off? Judgmental people
What is your favorite curse word? Fuckery, or fuckwit. Fuckwit on Wednesdays.
What sound or noise do you love? The sound of a cello in an empty hall.
What sound or noise do you hate? Starbuck blenders
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Time Lord’s companion
What profession would you not like to do? Anything that requires a 9 to 5
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Come, let me show you the control room for this place…
Author Notes - Michael Anderle
September 17, 2017
First, let me THANK YOU for not only finishing this book, but making it past Ell Leigh Clarke’s author notes and reading mine now, as well!
Unfortunately, we have spent all of our wonderful ‘snippy comments’ on our videos (which you should totally watch, because they are fucking hilarious!) So, I’m going back through some of our normal notes since the last time we spoke, and catching you up in what I am calling…
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