Thirty and a Half Excuses

by Denise Grover Swank

  “The job I’m offering is a temporary one. Planting flowers.” I’d leave the pruning and digging as a surprise. He hesitated, so I pressed on. “What about Bruce Wayne? Does he have a job?”

  He twisted his mouth to the side. “Well…”

  I took that as a no. “It’ll only take you a couple of days. And as soon as the job is done, I’ll pay you cash.”

  The cashier, an older woman, gave me a dirty look as David put the bags in the customer’s cart. “I dunno,” he mumbled. “It sounds hot.”

  “Bruce Wayne is living with you, right? If he’s not working, then how’s he going to pay his share of the rent? The first of the month is coming up, and your rent’s going to be due. I bet you that you’ll earn enough to pay a good part of your rent in the two days I need you. And think of what you could buy with the extra money.” I arched my eyebrows, hoping he caught my drift. They were both infamous potheads.

  Unconvinced, he scowled. “I’ll have to talk to Bruce Wayne.”

  “So Bruce Wayne does have his rent money?” I put my hand on my hip.

  David groaned and stepped to the side. “What time do we start?”

  I resisted the urge to grin. “Show up at the New Living Hope Revival Church at ten tomorrow morning.”

  His eyes flew open. “Ten? That early?”

  “Half the world’s awake by ten, and the other half is sleeping in China.”

  “Wait. Ain’t that the new church with that Reverend Jonah TV dude?”

  “Yep, that’s him.”

  A smile spread across his face. “Any chance we’ll be on TV?”

  “You just never know.” I winked. “Bring some water and sunscreen. And be ready to get dirty.”

  He didn’t look too happy about that part, but I left before he could protest.

  I pulled into the church parking lot at five-fifteen, surprised to find more cars there than there’d been earlier. When I entered the foyer, strains of guitar and drum music filtered through the doors to the sanctuary. So the New Living Hope Revival Church had a live band. No wonder it was stealing all the Henryetta church-goers. The younger families anyway.

  When I walked into the church office, Jonah’s secretary eyed me up and down with a look of disapproval. She had salt and pepper hair and had to be in her late fifties, although her ultra-conservative long-sleeve blouse buttoned to the top and her long skirt suggested she’d walked straight out of the early twentieth century. “You’re one of the Gardner sisters, aren’t you?” Her tone confirmed she didn’t like what she saw.

  I hesitated, unsure what she knew about me. “I’m Rose.”

  She curled her lip, momentarily hiding the dark shadow under her nose. “He’s waiting for you. Go on in.”

  Jonah’s office door was ajar and after the secretary’s less-than-friendly greeting, I tentatively pushed it open. Jonah’s mouth was pursed as he studied the computer monitor on his desk, his fingers tapping the keyboard.

  “Excuse me, Reverend.”

  A smile spread across his face. “Rose, so good to see you again.” He stood and walked around his desk. “And what did I tell you about calling me Reverend? It’s Jonah.”

  I grimaced. “That feels disrespectful.”

  He leaned his backside on his desk and crossed his arms across his chest. “And I bet you grew up on fire and brimstone, didn’t you? You had the fear of God put into you every Sunday morning whether you needed it or not.”

  He had no idea.

  Lifting his shoulder into a half shrug, he grinned. “That’s what makes us different than most of the churches in town. No hell fire and damnation. No condemnation here.”

  My mouth parted before I quickly hid my shock, but I guess I wasn’t fast enough.

  He laughed. “I can see that catches you by surprise. Most people have that reaction, and it often takes them a while to get used to us. Especially our older members.”

  I had to admit his concept sounded wonderful. And also too good to be true.

  “I take it you’re here for a check?”

  “Um, yeah.” His unique views of church had momentarily made me forget the purpose of my visit. “I have a few options to show you first.”

  “Options are always great.” He pushed away from his desk and motioned to a small round table in the corner, bordered by two chairs. “Have a seat, and I’ll take a look at what you have.”

  I sat down and Jonah took the chair next to me, keeping a respectful distance. I placed the sketch on the table and slid it toward him, explaining why I’d made certain choices and giving him estimates. The first involved only installing flowers in the beds. The second included flowers in the beds and trimming the bushes and existing landscape. The third included the flowers and landscape trimming, plus pots filled with flowers spread around the grounds.

  Jonah didn’t even blink at the price. “You have a good eye for design, Rose.”

  “Well…thank you.”

  He leaned his elbow on the table and turned to look at me. “But then again, that shouldn’t be a surprise. You are a beautiful woman, so it stands to reason you’d appreciate God’s beauty in nature as well.” I couldn’t form a coherent answer, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I’ll take the third option. I like the idea of having lots of flowers around.”

  While I’d presented the most expensive option, I hadn’t expected him to take it. Momma had complained plenty about the Henryetta Southern Baptist Church’s budget, so I knew how frugal most churches were. “Okay, then. We’re gonna need half down on the supplies.”

  “I’ll tell Rhonda, my secretary, to write you a check.”

  I gathered my papers. “Okay.”

  He leaned back in his seat, a grin spreading across his face. “Now that we have business out of the way, tell me a little about yourself, Rose.”

  I blinked in surprise. “Well, there’s not much to tell.”

  “I find that difficult to believe.”

  I didn’t answer.

  “Well, let’s start with the most obvious question for a man of the cloth. Do you go to church?”

  That was a sticky question. I may have been born and raised in the Henryetta Southern Baptist Church, but I’d never felt any sense of belonging there. The main reason was my visions. They had started when I was six, and despite the fact that my paternal grandmother had experienced visions too and had been declared the Oracle of Lafayette County, Momma had decided I was demon-possessed by the time I was eight. She soon started locking me in the hall closet whenever I had a vision. Several pastors over the years had prayed for the salvation of my soul, but by the time I was a teenager, they’d all given up. “Off and on.”

  “Have you ever attended a church like mine?

  My eyebrows rose as I shook my head. “Uh, no.”

  “That’s not surprising. But you should try it sometime.” He winked. “You might like what you see.”

  “I don’t know about that.”

  He held up his hands in surrender and laughed. “I know when to back off. Let’s move on to another topic.” His voice lowered. “I heard about your mother.”

  My mother’s murder wasn’t something I wanted to delve into. Not after all the strange feelings Miss Dorothy’s death had dredged up. “Well, I need to get goin’.” I stood up, nearly dumping the drawing onto the floor. “I need to get this check deposited at the bank.”

  Jonah grinned as he rose from his seat. “There’s no hurry, Rose. The bank closed at five.”

  “Oh, that’s right.” He had me flustered. Between the concept of his church, him calling me pretty, and the topic of my mother’s death, my stomach was churning.

  His voice softened. “Does the thought of coming to my church frighten you, Rose?”

  No, but staying with Jonah Pruitt a minute longer sure did. “I’ve had some…difficult situations in church.”

  “All the more reason to try our church out. The New Living Hope Revival Church is dedicated to providing a home for the castoffs of tradition
al churches. Giving them hope to live their life. That’s what the name of our church is all about.”

  I backed toward the door. “I will definitely keep that in mind, Jonah. Now if you’ll excuse me…”

  I backtracked to his secretary’s office as he followed me with an amused grin. Jonah stood in the doorway, his hand resting on the door frame, looking like he was posing for a photo shoot. “Rhonda, Ms. Gardner needs a check made out to—?” He glanced at me, raising an eyebrow in question.

  “Gardner Sisters Nursery.”

  “Oh, yes.” He drawled, his Southern accent sounding heavier than usual. “The lovely Gardner sisters, both as beautiful as the flowers they were named after.”

  Rhonda opened a desk drawer and pulled out a checkbook, her mouth puckering into a frown. She frowned even more when I told her how much to make it out for.

  Jonah brushed past me. “I have to get ready for tonight’s service. I hope to see more of you, Rose.” His gaze rested on my face as he headed for the door, leaving me behind with his grumpy secretary.

  She ripped the check out of the book and shoved it at me. “I don’t know what you’re up to, but I know your kind.”

  I took the check and held it close to me in case she changed her mind and tried to snatch it back. “My kind?”

  Sneering, Rhonda shook her head. “I’ve been with Reverend Pruitt for a long time. You’re not the first pretty girl to catch his attention. Jonah Pruitt is a man of God, so you can take your whorin’ ways with you.”

  I could have made the argument that I’d only slept with one man, which hardly constituted whoring, but the fact that I was fornicating at all probably wouldn’t help my case. Instead, I turned around and left as quickly as I could in case Jonah changed his mind and tracked me down.

  I drove back to the nursery, sorting through my confusion. While I had firsthand proof that all the older women of Henryetta loved Jonah Pruitt, I hadn’t heard much gossip about the younger ones falling for him. At least not like they fawned over the town’s other prime bachelors, like Mason and Brody. I’d seen three sides to Jonah Pruitt today. The showman who’d showed up for the ribbon cutting ceremony. The minister who seemed to sincerely welcome all people to his church, reserving judgment. And the man who seemed interested in me for more than just the transfer of my church membership. But that had to be an overactive imagination at work. Why would Jonah Pruitt be interested in me?

  Violet was closing up when I went inside. She turned to me with excitement. “Well…?”

  “He picked the big one. The potted plants and all.”

  She squealed and danced in place. “Did he give you a deposit?”

  I pulled it out of my purse and handed it to her.

  She danced for several more seconds, then stopped, cocking her head. “Why do you look so strange?”

  I hesitated, wondering if I should tell her what happened. “I think Jonah Pruitt’s interested in me.”

  Her nose scrunched as she watched me, still confused. Then her eyebrows rose. “Oh!” Confusion returned. “Oh.” She paused. “What happened?”

  “He invited me to church.”

  Rolling her eyes, Violet shook her head. “Good Lord, if that’s interested in you, then that means Reverend Martin has hit on every woman in town.” She giggled. “Can you imagine?”

  I leaned my butt against the counter. “That wasn’t all.”

  “What else?”

  “He said you and I were as beautiful as our names.”

  Violet laughed. “Rose, you’re so cute.” She patted my arm and walked around the counter. “He wasn’t hittin’ on you. He was trying to secure our business.”

  “I don’t know…”

  She put her hand on her hip. “How many men have you dated?”

  “That’s not fair.” She knew I’d only dated Joe. I refused to count the two blind dates she’d set me up on. “How many men have you dated?”

  An ornery grin lit up her eyes. “Only a few, but I’m changing that tomorrow night.”

  My breath stuck. “What does that mean?”

  “It means I have a date.”

  “A date? With who?”

  “Brody.”

  I wasn’t sure why that surprised me. They’d flirted at the ribbon cutting ceremony. And Violet seemed ready to move on from her relationship with Mike, even if I wasn’t ready for her to move on. “That’s…great.”

  “Don’t sound so excited.”

  “It’s just…so soon.”

  She rested her arms on the counter and leaned forward, lowering her voice. “I think he’s dating someone.”

  “Who’s dating someone?” Then I realized she meant Mike. “Oh.” Try as I might, I just couldn’t picture either of them with someone else. It didn’t seem right. But if Mike really was dating, didn’t Violet deserve to move on too? “What about Ashley and Mikey?”

  “It’s Mike’s night to have them.”

  This was all too weird for me, but Violet did seem happy. “Good for you, Vi. Brody seems like a great guy. At least, most of the women in town seem to think so.”

  “He was three years ahead of me in school. I was a freshman when he was a senior. Of course, he didn’t know me back then.”

  I grinned. “Sounds like he wants to know you more now.”

  Violet giggled and straightened up the counter. “The Gardner Sisters Nursery had a great first day. Tomorrow we need to figure out how to get all those flowers to the church.” Her mouth dropped open. “Oh! Did you find someone to plant them and trim the landscape?”

  I tried not to cringe. “Two someones.”

  “Who are they?”

  “David Moore and Bruce Wayne Decker.”

  Her face screwed up. “I don’t know them, but why does the second guy sound familiar?”

  I moved to the door and said over my shoulder, “Because I was on his jury.” Then I hurried out to start covering the plants on the sidewalk.

  Violet followed me out the door. “You hired a murderer?”

  I shot her an indignant look. “He is not a murderer. Remember? Jimmy DeWade was the murderer.”

  “He’s still a criminal!”

  I shook my head. “For little things. Pot, DUI, shoplifting.”

  She leaned against the door, crossing her arms over her chest and puckering her mouth. “What if he shoplifts at the church? That’s gonna look bad on us.”

  My head shot up. “What’s he gonna steal, Violet? The communion plates? Copies of the Bible?”

  She fumed as she tried to find fuel for her argument.

  I tucked the tarp in the corner and cinched it with a padlock. “Look at it this way: maybe working for a church will be good for ‘em. Build their character and all that.” With any luck at all, Jonah Pruitt would invite them to his church. But then again, if he gave the guys the hard sell, they might run off before the job was finished.

  Violet wasn’t entirely convinced, but seeing as we didn’t have anyone else, she relented. She planned to ask her father-in-law if she could borrow his truck to haul the bedding plants to the church. Together, Violet and I would load the truck, and then the guys would help me unload. Violet would order more flowers from the supplier, who had pledged to have them delivered to the church by Friday.

  After we got everything locked up, Violet and I stood in the parking lot, staring at the sign above the front door.

  “I think this is really gonna work,” Violet whispered, squeezing my arm.

  I turned to her, my eyebrows shooting up. “You had doubts? You’ve been Miss Positivity since the moment you announced this crazy idea.” And then I realized the truth: Violet had faked her confidence the entire time we were getting ready to open the nursery.

  She’d faked it in her marriage too.

  In some ways, I didn’t really know Violet at all.

  Her smile returned. “Of course I never doubted, silly. I knew all along it would work.”

  We got in our cars and I watched her drive away to her
home and her kids, wondering what else she had faked. How much of what I saw was the real Violet? The last several years of our lives raced through my head as I considered our past through this new lens.

  I was lost in thought, driving home, when Mason called. “Sorry, Rose. I was in court this afternoon. What did you have to tell me?”

  “My neighbor heard arguing coming from Miss Dorothy’s house this morning.”

  “Did your neighbor happen to hear what the arguing was about?”

  “No, he couldn’t make it out.”

  “Would he be willing to go down to the police station and give a report?”

  I paused. “Uh…that might be a little difficult since he’s only four.”

  “Only four what?”

  “Four years old.”

  Mason was silent.

  “Well?” I finally asked.

  Mason paused a few more seconds. “Rose, a four-year-old child is hardly a reliable witness.”

  “Come on, Mason. You have to admit that two elderly woman dying within two weeks of each other is a little odd.”

  “Both deaths were from natural causes.” He paused. “Or as natural as a heat wave can be.”

  “But why now? This entire summer has been bakin’ hot. Why are people dying now?”

  “I don’t know.” He sounded exasperated. “Maybe they don’t expect it to be this hot since it’s late September. Both women had their air conditioning off.”

  “But were their windows shut?”

  “Well, yeah…”

  “If they turned off their air conditioning, why wouldn’t they have their windows open? They may have been old, but I know they weren’t senile. Are you really not going to follow up on this lead?”

  “You canvassing the neighborhood and finding a toddler who might have heard something is not a lead.”

  My irritation took root. “You make it sound like I was interrogating the neighbors. I didn’t ask anyone anything. Keith just told me.”

  “Keith? The four-year-old?”

  “Four-year-olds have ears, Mason.”

  “But they’re not very reliable witnesses in court, Rose.”

  “Court? Who said anything about court?”

  “That’s what it would come to. He’d be called as a witness. I can tell you right now, I wouldn’t call a four-year-old to the stand unless he had something I couldn’t live without. And it’s sure not overhearing an argument he can’t remember. How do you know it wasn’t someone’s TV? How do you know it was even her house?”