Thirty and a Half Excuses

by Denise Grover Swank

  After I closed up the shop, I went home, feeling guilty because I hadn’t let Muffy out since I’d left for the day. I’d been so distracted by Jonah that I’d forgotten to swing by in the afternoon. Muffy was ecstatic to see me, jumping up and licking my hands and face when I bent down to pet her. We stayed outside for a long time as I mulled over my thoughts, wallowing in hurt and confusion. I didn’t usually allow myself to wallow, but this seemed like a good night for it.

  While I was sitting on the porch, a car turned into Miss Dorothy’s driveway. Had the intruder come back to finish what he started? Surely he wasn’t stupid enough to return in broad daylight and park a car in the driveway. Nevertheless, I was curious, so I slid off the steps and walked into the yard, which gave me a perfect view of the house. A woman got out and stomped up to the front, heading inside without even knocking. She obviously knew Miss Dorothy wasn’t home.

  Miss Mildred came out of her house carrying her watering can, and for once it wasn’t because of me. Her glare was firmly fixed on the car in Miss Dorothy’s driveway.

  “Do you know whose car that is?” I asked her against my better judgment.

  She kept her gaze on the house for so long I thought she was going to pretend she didn’t hear me. “I suspect it belongs to Christy, her niece. A ne’er-do-well who moved to Shreveport a few years back.”

  “Why isn’t she staying with her mother?”

  “Because I suspect she’s here to claim what she thinks is hers.”

  “She’s inheriting the house?”

  “Well, she thinks she is. But what she thinks and what’s true are two different things in this case.”

  “Aren’t she and her mother Miss Dorothy’s only living relatives?”

  “Yep.”

  I squinted in confusion. “Then who—”

  Miss Mildred set her watering can down on the porch and started down the steps. “Come with me, and you can find out right along with Christy.”

  I put Muffy inside, and then fell into step behind Miss Mildred, surprised she’d not only had a semi-conversation with me, but actually invited me along. Which made me highly suspicious. Still, my curiosity overruled the warnings ringing in my head.

  Miss Mildred hobbled up the steps and rapped on the door.

  Christy answered it, an amused look on her face. “Hey there, Mildred. Where’s the casserole? Ain’t you God-fearing Baptists known for your condolence casseroles?”

  Miss Mildred gasped. “How dare you stand in your aunt’s doorway making blasphemous comments about casseroles!”

  “Well, you aren’t known for offering your compassion, so if you aren’t here with a casserole, you’re here to snoop.”

  I would have loved to bask in the revelation that I wasn’t the only recipient of Miss Mildred’s contempt, but the situation felt like it was escalating quickly. I needed to diffuse it if I had any hope of getting answers.

  Offering a smile, I said, “Hi, I’m Rose, and I don’t think we’ve met. I live down the street. I just came over to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your aunt.”

  “You’re Rose? Aunt Dorothy mentioned you.” Christy pushed open the screened door and looked me up and down. “You look normal to me.”

  My face burned with embarrassment.

  She shrugged. “I’m not surprised. Aunt Dorothy was as thick as thieves with this one here.” She pointed to Miss Mildred. “And she ain’t got one damn good thing to say about anybody.”

  Christy’s words hurt. While Dorothy had always preferred Violet, she’d been nice to me. I hadn’t realized she’d thought I was strange, although everyone else did, so I wasn’t sure why it was surprising. “Have the police contacted you since last night?” I asked. “I wanted to make sure you heard about the attempted break-in.”

  Her eyes widened. “What break-in?”

  “Someone tried to get in the back—”

  Miss Mildred seemed to have regained her gumption. “It don’t matter to you who tried to do what in this house,” she said, her head jutting forward like a bobble head. “Since you don’t own it and will never own it.”

  Christy put her hands on her hips. “What fool nonsense are you talkin’ about, old woman? I’m her only kin, after my momma. And if she got it, she’s givin’ it to me.”

  Miss Mildred smirked. She loved lording information over people’s heads. “So you’ve read the will?”

  “I ain’t got to read the will to know it’s mine.”

  Miss Mildred’s mouth lifted into a grin that made her look like she had a raging case of constipation. “Well, it might be that there’s a surprise waiting for you when you attend the reading of the will. Until then, you’re trespassing on private property.”

  “What the hell are you talkin’ about? I’m only here in Henryetta a few days. I gotta make hay while the sun shines. I’m gonna start packing up boxes.”

  “If you stay in this house another minute, I’ll call the police and have ‘em forcibly remove you.”

  Christy laughed. “You wouldn’t do that.”

  What did Miss Mildred know that Christy didn’t? She liked to stir up trouble, but I didn’t think even she would kick Christy out if she didn’t think she had the right. “I guarantee you that she will,” I said. “She calls the police on me at least twice a week.”

  Christy looked me up and down again, really studying me this time. “You? What on earth for?”

  “Kissing my boyfriend in my front yard.”

  Christy laughed. “It’s only because she’s jealous she ain’t gettin’ any.”

  It was my turn to gasp.

  She turned to Miss Mildred. “Get off my porch, old woman. I ain’t warning you twice.”

  Miss Mildred poked her finger into Christy’s chest. “We’ll just see who has the last laugh.”

  Christy looked like she was about to punch Miss Mildred, so I grabbed the old lady’s arm and gave it a gentle tug.

  “Miss Mildred, this isn’t accomplishing anything. You’ve had your say, let’s get going.”

  Mildred jerked her arm free from my grasp. “Don’t you be telling me what to do, demon woman.”

  Now I regretted not letting Christy punch her.

  “I’ll go when I want to go,” she went on. “Dorothy was my friend, and I won’t see her house violated by filth like that woman.” But even as she muttered the words, she was descending the steps.

  “That’s right,” Christy called after her. “Crawl back under your slimy rock!” Then the screen door slammed shut.

  Miss Mildred hobbled down the drive to the sidewalk, and I wasn’t sure whether to stay with her or get out of her line of fire. I decided to ask her the question that was burning in my brain. “Were you serious when you told Christy she didn’t inherit the house?”

  Miss Mildred turned to me with a sneer. “You callin’ me a liar?”

  “Well, no…”

  “Dorothy changed her will last week. I know for a fact she didn’t leave the house to that low-life druggie. Dorothy wanted to do everything in her power to make sure she didn’t get it, and she even told me the house had already been turned over, whatever that means. She went to her attorney last week to sign the papers. I drove her there myself.”

  “Who’d she leave it to?”

  Miss Mildred’s face puckered in contempt. “Someone not much better.”

  “Who?”

  “I don’t see how it’s any of your business. Don’t you have something to do other than pestering me?”

  I stopped in my tracks at the edge of the driveway, watching her make her way down the sidewalk. If I lived to be a hundred years old, I’d never figure that woman out. Why’d she share the information with me if she wasn’t going to tell me to the whole story?

  I couldn’t help thinking it was a strange coincidence that Miss Dorothy had died a week after changing her will. I considered calling Mason, but what was he going to do with that?

  “It’s too bad that old bat wasn’t killed too.”
>
  I jumped at the male voice behind me and spun around to see Thomas standing next to the open door of his car. “Thomas! That’s a terrible thing to say!”

  He shrugged. “I’m just sayin’ what everyone’s thinkin’, and you know it. This neighborhood is full of old bitches, but she’s the biggest of ‘em all.”

  How could I argue with that? “Still, it’s not right to wish anyone dead.”

  “Don’t worry,” he said, bending down to get into his car. “She’ll get what’s comin’ to her.”

  His engine revved as everything went black, and a vision overtook me. I stood in a dark room across from a beefy Hispanic man who was sitting on the edge of a table. “You got the stuff?”

  “I had problems.”

  The bulky man stood, towering over me. “I ain’t got time for problems. Get your ass back out there and get it.”

  “But I think the police are starting to figure things out.”

  He held his hands from his sides. “You’re just full of problems, amigo. Figure it out.”

  Thomas’s car came back into focus as it backed out of the driveway. “You’ve got big problems,” I said out loud.

  I nearly stumbled over from shock, thankful that Thomas was speeding away and wouldn’t get suspicious about my remark. What kind of trouble was he in? What did he mean that Mildred was going to ‘get hers’? I suddenly remembered something he’d said—It’s too bad that old bat wasn’t killed too. The police and the media were claiming the women had died of natural causes, but Thomas had used the word killed, not died. Now I was even more curious.

  I hurried home and locked my doors, suddenly feeling more unsafe than usual. I tried to imagine scrawny Thomas murdering someone. It didn’t seem to fit. And even if he had killed Miss Laura and Miss Dorothy, how had he made it look like natural causes? God help me, but that boy just didn’t seem that bright.

  I couldn’t think of anything useful I could draw from our talk or my vision. It was too abstract to take to the police or even Mason. I needed to keep it to myself for now.

  But I could do something with the information that Dorothy had left her house to someone other than her niece. And I knew someone who could help me find out more.

  I grabbed my cell phone and pressed Neely Kate’s speed dial button.

  “Say, Neely Kate, can you look up something official for me?”

  “Sure.”

  I loved that about her. She didn’t even think to ask what it was before agreeing. “Can you look up the beneficiary of a will? Since you run the personal property department, I figured you might keep track of that sort of thing.”

  “We only keep records on the actual owners, not the beneficiaries, and the courthouse wouldn’t have a record of that until the family files probate.”

  “Oh.” So much for that idea.

  “Why’re you asking?”

  “You know my neighbor who died yesterday and someone tried to break into her house? Well, it turns out there’s more to the story. Her niece showed up today, and Miss Mildred went over to confront her. She told Christy that she needed to wait for the reading of the will before she could start packing up the house.”

  “That doesn’t mean anything. You know how cranky she is. She’s probably stirrin’ up trouble like usual.”

  “I wondered that too, but then she told me that Miss Dorothy changed the beneficiary of her will. Miss Mildred drove her to the attorney’s office last week so she could sign the papers. In fact, she said the house had already been turned over.”

  “Who’d she leave it to?”

  “Mildred told me it was none of my business, but she said that whoever Miss Dorothy ended up picking wasn’t much better.”

  “Why do you care who she left her house to?”

  “Because it’s just too weird. Two old women have died from supposed natural causes, but their air conditioners were turned off and their windows were shut. And then Miss Laura’s jewelry went missing and someone tried to break into Miss Dorothy’s house last night, probably to steal her jewelry. What if a serial killer is on the loose?”

  “A serial killer in Henryetta, Arkansas?” Neely Kate sounded incredulous.

  “Stranger things have happened.”

  “And you’re wondering if the new beneficiary has something to do with it.”

  “It is quite a coincidence.”

  “Why don’t you just tell Mason?”

  “I don’t want him to think I’m any more of a fruitcake then he already does. I wanted proof.”

  “First of all, Mason Deveraux does not think you are a fruitcake, and second, the fact that Mildred said the house was already taken care of made me think of something. Dorothy might have added the new beneficiary to the deed of her house to avoid probate issues. That way the new beneficiary would already own the house. But she would have needed to file a quit claim deed. My grandma added my mother and my aunt to hers last month. I can check to see if one was filed for Dorothy.”

  “There’d be a record of that in your department?”

  “No, but I have connections.”

  “I don’t want to get you into trouble.”

  “Please.” Neely Kate scoffed. “Have we met? You know I can find out anything. Besides, I’d love it if they fired me.”

  Chapter Nine

  The next morning, I checked on Bruce Wayne and David on my way to the nursery. I hadn’t expected to find them there at 8:45 in the morning, I just wanted to see how far they’d gotten the night before. I was also hoping to avoid Jonah, which was silly. I was gonna have to see him at some point, if only to get our final check. But I wanted to put that off as long as I possibly could.

  To my amazement, both men were digging up dirt and pulling weeds. They’d finished the east side of the building, and it looked amazing.

  “You guys are doing great!” I said, walking around the side of the church to greet them.

  Bruce Wayne leaned his arm on the top of his shovel. “Thanks, Miss Rose.”

  “I might not be around much today. I’m hoping to buy a truck.”

  “Oh yeah?” David’s head popped up. “My uncle Ernie has a used car lot outside of town on Highway 82. You should check it out and tell him I sent you.”

  I knew which lot he was talking about, and I wasn’t sure if mentioning that David had sent me would get me a better deal or a worse one. “Thanks, David.” I smiled. “If you have any questions or need anything, call me on my cell phone.”

  When I arrived at the nursery, Violet was already there, humming as she watered the flowers on the sidewalk.

  I cast a sly glance at her. “Your date must have gone well.”

  Her grin was mischievous. “Mhmm.”

  “What did you guys do?”

  “Brody took me to Jaspers for dinner, and then we drove over to Magnolia to see a movie.”

  “Sounds fun.”

  She smiled. “We’re going out again tonight.”

  “What about Ashley and Mikey?”

  Cocking her head, she lifted her eyebrows. “Well…now that you mention it…”

  “Oh.” She wanted me to watch them.

  “With Joe being gone, I figured you wouldn’t have anything else to do.”

  She was right, and I loved my niece and nephew. They’d help fill the empty evening ahead of me. “Sure, why not? But I don’t know when I’ll be back from truck shopping.”

  Violet rolled her eyes. “That again? How are you gonna fit their car seats into your truck?”

  “Seeing as how I’m not their mother, I don’t suppose I need to worry about fittin’ their car seats in my truck.”

  Her mouth dropped in surprise at my snippy tone.

  I couldn’t believe I’d said that to her.

  She stared at me, clearly waiting for me to apologize, but I just stiffened my back, staring at her.

  I suddenly wondered if I was being fair. Violet was my sister and her husband had left her. She needed help from time to time, and why should I begrudge
her that? A good sister would offer without resentment. “Look, Vi. A truck seats three people, so of course the car seats will fit. Besides, I did a little research on the Internet last night and lots of trucks have a back seat. We can fit the car seats there if not in the front.”

  My answer somewhat appeased her, but she gave me the cold shoulder most of the morning. When I took off my apron to meet Mason for lunch, she eyed me up and down. “I didn’t mention how pretty you look today. I like your hair like that.”

  Since I hadn’t planned on working at the church, I’d worn a sundress, and I’d pulled my hair back into a loose French braid that Neely Kate had taught me how to do. But I wasn’t sure how to address her obvious insinuation. For someone who wanted me to watch her kids, she was acting pretty spiteful. “Thank you.”

  “You’re gonna be back in time to watch the kids, right? You can pick them up from Mike’s parents’ house.”

  I paused, picking up my purse. “You’re not bringing them over?”

  She scrunched up her face. “Why do you think I mentioned the car seats? Mike’s parents have them.”

  I stared at her for a full five seconds, wondering where in tarnation my sister had gone, because the woman on the other side of the counter wasn’t her.

  “Any other instructions?” I’d meant it as a snide comment, but it went right over Violet’s head.

  “Just bring them here tomorrow morning. We’ll let them play for a while, and then we’ll send them off with Mike.”

  Since the beginning of our joint venture, I’d wondered how she was going to make the nursery work with her kids. At the moment, it seemed as though her plan was to ship them off to everyone else. But that wasn’t fair. Violet was a single mother, trying to build a business that would support her and her children. It was obvious she would have to spend a lot of time away from them. I had just expected that it would bother her more.

  I was so frustrated with her that I didn’t even tell her goodbye when I left. I tried to settle down by the time I found a parking spot on the town square, only one block from the restaurant. I arrived early and was seated by the time Mason showed up at the door. He spotted me right away and made his way through the narrow aisle, a wide grin on his face.